Good luck Claw!

[fightingtheLA]

Hi Claw
Have been following your sorry saga with school for a while now. Just wanted to say good luck with the meeting tomorrow and hope you get more from it than the usual clap-trap,fob-offs etc. etc. I find it difficult dealing with everything even with a very supportive school so am in awe of your tenacity. Knowledge is strength and posters such as yourself, Debs, Star,Attila etc..have really given me the confidence to fight for my ds!

CAMHS are very on side NOW too.

The therapist who i spoke to on Thursday wanted to come to the meeting with school, but when i told her school were blaming me for causing ds's anxiety and self injurious behaviour by taking him out of school for bibic assessment. She stated i should be prepared to take responsibility for causing/reinforcing ds's anxiety

I stared at her blankly. Then once at home i realised she had obviously spoken to school and they had fed her this inaccurate story.

So i wrote to her explaining the facts, that i had taken ds to bibic to get a sensory diet that OT failed to supply as ds could not tolerate touch in school and had started the self injury. Asked her to explain to me in writing how i had caused/reinforced anxiety by obtaining and performing a sensory diet!

She phoned yesterday after speaking with ds's therapist to apologise and stated she had got it wrong and was confused!

A CAMHS therapist confused eh!

Brilliant claw, you have all the right people on side! Stay confident and good luck.

Yes Debs, no doubt the purpose of this meeting has changed!

Star, i wont get cross, i have done what i set out to (hopefully) get them to meet ds's needs. Would a cheer and party poppers be inappropriate do you think?

Oh yes Derkin, i love the silence moments, had one of them when i phoned the CAMHS therapist back after she left a message on my answerphone telling me she was phoning to apologise. When i phoned her back, i simply stated 'im returning your call' and then silence, she stumbled and ermed quiet a bit

Silver, CAMHS are very much on side too and she actually said that school were being very unhelpful and are basically to blame for anxiety. They had told her i 'mollycoddle' ds, when i pointed out that the moolycoddling to which school refer, is my following recommendations by professionals, which they deem unnecessary and she actually spoke to ds's therapists, she soon changed sides!

Just what a load of utter nonsense to obtain backing it its though.

Still ive got it now and plan to kick the schools arese with it! (in a nice way of course)

claw I know you can't do this right now, but when you have a minute you should write to the CAMHS person and thank her for her apology.

Tell her that after disgraceful treatment by the school and immense stress caused by her initial reaction, her acknowledgement of her mistake is very much appreciated and you feel in a much better place to work with her and the professionals for the benefit of your ds.

But, that will wait. I guess you're about to set off?

Try not to argue with the school, but simply present your case as if they were not there.

oh quick question, i almost forgot in all the excitement!

ASD outreach has recommendations specialist SALT provision to work on ds's conversation skills.

How does this work, i assume school are expected to pay for this?

They will say they cant etc, etc

Star im still sitting her in my pj's eek!

school is only 5 minutes away luckily!

I have thanked her for phoning and setting my mind at rest. We were even laughing at how awkward the meeting was, what with her being confused and me being confused and staring blankly at her, having no idea what she was talking about!

They have also arranged to work termly with the school, which i doubt the school are happy about as they took great pleasure telling outside agencies, that both MYSELF and ds were in therapy. Which isnt quite accurate, ds is in therapy, i have monthly meetings to discuss how he is getting on. Perhaps they are now in therapy too

OMG!!!!!!! This is statement stuff Claw, specialist SALT - tis the Holy Grail!!

Take a bow now you supermum!

I was telling a mum in the playground this morning (who has a son with significant learnign difficulties but who has been told by school that he doesn't need an IEP as he's not two years behind ) about the weird world in which we all live.

You trust no one, accept no platitudes and end up focusing on the bad as your child's youth slips past. Why? Because at the end of the day, the only person who can be trusted to tell the complete truth about our children's needs is us!!

Claw It isn't about apologising, it is about creating documentary evidence of a)how you have been treated and b)her backtracking.

Highly likely to come in useful in the future expect.

What if she goes on maternity leave without proper handover notes for example?

And DEFINATELY get the termly thing agreement written down! Write to 'just clarify'. That way they have to blatently deny it or deliver.

Claw You have made my day, you really have.

But, don't sigh in relief that it is all starting to go right. You still don't actually have any outcomes to show for it, and good intentions, or provision for that matter, is NOT outcomes.

Focus and continue to follow everything up in writing. Also keep a very healthy level of sceptism.

oh of course, i get what you mean now Star doh me! How could i forget you have drummed it into me!

Just finishing my coffee and then i will start to get dressed!

ASD Outread is going to email SALT asking for provision to work on his conversation skills.

School are trying to palm me off with social skill group.

I have already written down your quote of generic TA provision etc, etc which i will use too.

Also, in your relief, don't just agree to anything grateful that at last you are being listened to and your ds might get 'something'. It still has to be adequate and appropriate to be meaningful.

Sure you know that, but just trying to prevent you from going into the meeting all smiling and friendly. It is still business.

Just because they have been too stupid to understand it all until now doesn't mean you should have any lower expectations. Go in with a 'tut, right enough of this sidetracking nonsense, let's get down to what we are going to do about his needs, and quite possibly even what we are going to reclaim some of the lost time and opportunities for intervention'!

Well i hope i have prepared myself for all twist and turns which might develop.

1. My list of difficulties followed by reports which back it up and what for their reaction.

1. If they continue to state no difficulty or we are meeting this need. I have then listed how they have failed to follow recommendations etc.

Hopefully i will only have to use part one of my list.

Better get my arse in gear and get some clothes on. Im so excited about this meeting, im nervous

Ohh, I wonder how Claw's getting on

Go 'the Claw'.....I'm thinking she deserves a 'the' in front of Claw now!!

Hope she's having the time of her life.

Oh I SO hope her little ds is now going to be spared the horror of the last few months!

After all the shite she's had from that school I hope she's enjoying every minute of watching them squirm!

Oh dear just about sums it up!

Meeting was now about ds's DOES now have needs, but they are very limited.

They ARE now following recommendations and always have been, despite these not being written in the IEP 'the document would be too long'

Head teacher, class teacher and SENCO all stated that ds was very happy in school. I asked Head teacher and SENCO whether they had observed him, to which the answer was no and with all due respect class teacher is not an expert in special needs.

They all stated they would notice the sign of anxiety and i asked how. To which the reply was screaming, aggression etc, etc.

I asked how about pulling out eyelashes and scratching his face. This does not happen in school, it must be a home thing!

EP stated i needed to lower my exceptions, as school were doing all that they can!

CAMHS and PP tried to put their point across, but the Head Teacher kept interrupting.

CAMHS said all the while school are reporting that ds is happy in school, there is not much they can say.

Head Teacher then pointed to me, yes pointed and stated my contact with school is getting ridiculous and spoke over me whenever i tried to talk.

CAMHS and PP requested that another meeting take place with just CAMHS, PP, myself and SENCO present.

But head teacher started to check her diary and PP pointed out that she was not invited. Head teacher, ignored her and asked SENCO if she wanted her present, she was rude and obnoxious to me, PP and CAMHS.

Total waste of 40 minutes. They kept us all waiting for 20 minutes prior to the meeting.

Sigh!

Claw it was not a waste. You have people on your side now, even if they don't have the balls to do anything about it.

These people may now aid you in getting your ds the feck out of that school.

Do be very careful to write up what was discussed. You can perhaps even circulate your own minutes. It is likely that those who are not from the school will not oppose anything you say about it, even if they won't actively strike it themselves (provided you give them a platitude each of their own that is).

Well done. That can't have been an easy meeting, but think of it as an introduction rather than final say.

School secretary took minutes and i asked for a copy.

While myself and PP sat waiting in reception for meeting, head teacher walked past and gave me a dirty look which PP noted and commented about her manner.

I stated to PP, you aint seen nothing yet!

I put my notes and pen away after the first 10 minutes and just there, while head teacher took the floor. It was pointless anyone else trying to talk, as she just interrupted and spoke over the top of them.

At the end, i asked that ds's needs/difficulties and what help was in place be listed by the school.

Head and SENCO objected strongly to this.

Head teacher even stated that this had already been done, so i asked could i see a copy, she then stated its in the IEP.

I then stated that none of the recommendations made are listed in the IEP. To which she replied 'it would make the document too long'

I replied so we have established that it hasnt already been done then!

Head teacher then said that she did not want a further meeting to take place and it had been explained to me time and time again what provision was in place

PP then stated the school could put it in writing to me if they preferred.

Head then stated there was no need to do this.

PP asked her what is the alternative, then took out her diary.

It was exhausting! but as you say at least everyone has seen their true colours and how they are trying to wriggle out of following recommendations.

Round 2 is on the 30th totally pointless nothing is going to change, just going through the motions of getting ds out of there.

Oh EP has just emailed me to say she was not aware that LA had agreed to SA and she will therefore need to seek more information to complete her advice and will arrange a school visit. Although i understood, it would be different borough EP who would do SA (we live in one borough and ds goes to school in another) EP is the school, not from the LA?

How do i reply? what questions do i need to be asking?

She seemed very much on side with school (obviously hasnt read any of the reports i supplied her with)

Claw You will have many thoughts about the meeting over the next few days. Write them down.

It doesn't matter that you put your pen away. It does not mean you can't supply a record of the meeting to all who attended.

Write it down anyway, whatever you decide to do. Those minutes when they come will have been heavily doctored by the HT and will make you angry. You will need to respond to them at that time.

I'm sorry. I know it is exhausting, but however defeated you might feel you are actually making headway now. These documented disagreements are your way out!

oh bugger.

star is right - you need to make notes, so you can counter as much of the minutes as you feel able to.

I do think it is good that you managed ot get across the fact that there has been no plan of intervention - maybe worth following htis up before next meeting?

email all round (sod the fac that they've asked you not to before) stating that you are confused about the intervention being supplied, that Head said it was in IEP when it isn't, etc, asking for it to be clarified as you've never recieved an IEP like that? (I can send you an example of an IEP that would make their hair stand on end - dd1's is about 30 pages long , and covers everything - no wishy washy small time interventions for her!)

Ep's re a waste of space and only for going through the motions with; only formal complaint we ever maade was against an EP. We had no choice as she didnt even bother to put name or contact details on report; we addressed it to la who hauled her in for a meet and she blanked us whilst just saying 'temp did letter' on repeat. Turned out she was retiring and just after easy life.

Claw. Hugs. Nothing useful i can say except that I wish you luck in round two.