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Original poster

thank you sn board but

222 replies

2shoes · 14/08/2009 10:21

I won't be posting about dd on here or the teen board(will still keep an eye out for any where I can advise though) this whole Daily Mail thing has made me feel very unsafe. some of the issues I would be talking about soon will make me very Identifiable, so I will stick to TTR and SKINUK where it is safer.

OP posts:
wannaBe · 15/08/2009 10:24

But is it really the journalist we should be outraged at? After all if she hadn't written it, they would have got someone else to do it. And perhaps it could be argued that someone who has previously been a poster here and knows how mn really operates might write with more sensitivity and thought for the posters than someone who has no experience of mn and/or the people who post here.

IMO the outrage should be directed more at mn hq for allowing this to happen in the first place. After all they hold the copyright to what is posted here, and you can bet money that they have been paid by the dm for allowing them to print this article.

So while for the posters who post on mn we would like to think that the idea of mn is for people to support each other, I think it's fair to say that for the founders of mn, the idea is to make money out of the support we offer each other, and that to them, we as posters are merely commodities.

These extracts (and I haven't read the article concerned) wouldn't have been posted in the first place if mn hq hadn't sanctioned it.

LilyOfTheMountain · 15/08/2009 11:21

Well- yes and no wannabe

Firstly MN say they ahven't said it was OK. Now i'm in two minds how much I beleive that but I think I should probably credit them with that, no pint in paranoia

Also, tehre's an assumptin that we should trust said journo: yet she has managed to hurt two people already (one with the story that was published, one in all truth IMO pretty damned recognisable- and the person she accredited it to who has hard real problems trying to conceive and then reads that she is pg.... er wtf?)

But- judging from things other people have said- a significant number of us don't feel SN is a safe enough aplce to share info on kids any more; how the hell will that work then? Lots of posts on 'talk me through the dx system for X' with just occasional ones from newbies saying @HelP! massive issues with X help'- and ten replies saying er yes we struggled with that but cant sahre details- hold in there though love

I won'tr be mentioning ds1's 'foibles' (btw wannabe am namechanger- erm- am fruity) any more, they're too easily taken and turened into something they shouldn't be.

Risk factors? Well tehre was always a risk but its now not a risk of a passing journo wanting a quote or a story on a slow news day, we know it will happen every week. That feels like the difference between knwoing there's an aggressive pisshead on the street outside, and knwoing he has the key and is headed in the direction of the hotrel you share with your 'mates'

LilyOfTheMountain · 15/08/2009 11:23

'Coures, the DM would probably only lift SN posts toprove what feckless scroungers we all were. ' or that all SN kids are dangerous to toehrs, Riv

Original poster
2shoes · 15/08/2009 11:41

I have always accepted that we are never safe on the www, but I did think we were safe from one of our using mn in this way.
she was a well respected and liked poeter, I have seen threads where people talk of her fondly.so if she can stoop this low(and get her facts wrong) it high lights the ease which people will stoop to such low levels.

of course mn hq has to shoulder some of the blame, but the person involved was still doing her job badly, what a easy way to make money, just lift something from mumsnet, don't give ashit who you hurt in the process, then dear on mn hq will bend over backwards to protect you!!!
I do wonder if this had just been a random person rather than """" whether she would be getting the level of support she is.

OP posts:
LilyOfTheMountain · 15/08/2009 11:52

A ferw other things I have said elsewhere that are relevant-

All X needs to do is pop on and say 'sorry guys, neded the work (or whatever) but am really offended by suggestions I might filch from SN, of course not). The fact she hasn't says a lot.

And yes, I used to like her also,perhaps I still do in her new guise- who knows? Anonymity carries paranoia as well as limited security it would seem.

Also, if MNHQ were ddefinitely opposed they could barr the poster and block IEPs she uses: not with absolute security certainly, but certainly as a gesture.

Original poster
2shoes · 15/08/2009 12:00

I find the whole thing full of double standards, why are mn hq protecting this person, surely they should be protecting the people who have been hurt by this,
imo """" should be banned, she over stepped the mark. It would also send out a messgae that Mn hq actually give a damm

OP posts:
Woooozle100 · 15/08/2009 12:06

yeah I agree with that Lily and 2shoes

sarah293 · 15/08/2009 14:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

LilyOfTheMountain · 15/08/2009 14:58

Riv- a lot of this is down to searchability

Some of your posts are under diferent anmes so they're OK

Consier a namechange? I dont like having this usernae (actually I fucking hate it and the anonymity it has taken with it- pah!) but it does mean that less people will think in the future 'oh ownder what X has said about Y in the past

maryz · 15/08/2009 15:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

LilyOfTheMountain · 15/08/2009 15:34

Trust me MAry I am finding exactly that

And there are things I needed to ask about but I cant now because of all this.

And of course theres never any point in arguing on MN becuase all the same voices say 'we know we're right and anyone else who thinks differently is wtrong because we are superior' (no names will be given, personal prejudices acknowledged)

LilyOfTheMountain · 15/08/2009 15:41

Riv I did mention on MN post (obviously not with names LOL, am thick but not dense) that they should reconsider refusalss they may have issued

maryz · 15/08/2009 15:47

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
2shoes · 15/08/2009 16:15

but where will it end, shall I ask to have my deleted? you can't expect mn hq to delet loads of threads and posts. They didn't give a flying fuck when people were posting sick stuff on the race thread, they allow people like DP to post sick stuff, do you really think they care?

OP posts:
nikos · 15/08/2009 18:21

In case anyone hasn't mentioned this, the journalist in question has a sn child. If I remember rightly she has a son with aspergers and used to post on sn board.

LilyOfTheMountain · 15/08/2009 19:02

Still does apaprently nikos, only we don't know name

sarah293 · 15/08/2009 19:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

jemmm · 15/08/2009 19:34

I'm not going to pretend that I've kept up with this entirely. But I know people are feeling mightily peeved, and I can see why...

Moreover, Riven is peeved - and from the short while I've been on SN, I've come to trust her opinion.

Anyone thought about getting in touch with the media correspondent of a rival newspaper about this one - sure talk of lazy journalism, protecting sources, copyright and very popular websites would be right up some papers streets - and might just help to focus minds at MN HQ and the DM...

Just a thought... not necessarily a good one - but a thought all the same ;-)

Original poster
2shoes · 15/08/2009 19:38

is it true that mn hq are going the dm to use a thread a week? just read that on another thread

OP posts:
hereidrawtheline · 15/08/2009 21:37

hi everyone - real quick as this is my last post under this name. I will be posting on TTR but I find the format hard to follow sorry it must be me being raised in a cave or something.

I want to say this:

I am sending MNHQ an email complaint over how they have handled this. Like it or not its a business for them and one I reckon has been pretty damn successful. And it wouldnt have been if not for us posters. So I am sodding off if this is how they treat us. It isnt all about them and I too have previously had the "we couldnt really delete all your posts it would leave confusing holes" which is fair enough BUT for the fact that I dont feel their end of the bargain has been held up. They have made their bed & I've made mine and we both have to lie on it. My choice is to leave MN. I sincerely hope many others make a similar choice at least cutting down on all the juicy talk so MN resembles most of the other, bland parenting forums. Then the DM will quickly lose interest. It is the people who make MN noteworthy and the people are going to melt away to alternative forums like TTR and moldies etc.

Having said all that - THANK YOU to everyone here in SN and I will still see you in TTR. You have all been really essentially wonderful for me over the last year.

5inthebed · 15/08/2009 21:47

HIDTL, if yu need to chat,my msn address is [email protected]

WetAugust · 15/08/2009 21:49

what is TTR?

feelingbetter · 15/08/2009 21:58

see here for further info

WetAugust · 15/08/2009 22:00

just got a blank screen

feelingbetter · 15/08/2009 22:02

Really? Works for me
Anyhoo, its just a private place off MN for SN posters to 'talk' more openly.
See 2shoes 3rd post on this thread for address to join