Oh Gosh - I never realised this...

[pagwatch]

I saw a thread about a pregnancy with the possibilty of the chid having Downs syndrome. Don't normally click but thought the posters was looking for some support re liklihood of having a child with issues.
Anyway she is going to terminate - which of course is her choice.
But someone gently asked if she had considered the possibilty of keepingthe child and the responses were really aggressive. Then others joined in and it just seemed unessesarily hostile.
Being really dim I added that I didn't think the question was out of order but just that as the parents of children with disabilities we may have insight/knowledge that might be useful
Apparently that is grossly insensitive and terrible

Now if a woman has made up her mind I would never dream of commenting. Thats that.
But is it really outrageous and terrible and shameful to ask the question? As mothers do we not have insight into the very thing that a pregnant mother in these circs could draw on whatever her choice may unltimately be?

I was just so shocked by the hostility. It was as if the very mention of our children was offensive.

I am just going to hide that thread and avoid that topic. But the attitude was grim.
I know this is a thread about a thread but clearly cannot addthese views on there - especially as I have no doubt the OP is having a terrible time and i would not wish for a second to add to her distress. And please plaese please do not go to that thread - I am honestly not trying to shit stir - just trying to come to terms with the attitude.
So I put it here where I am hopefully amongst peers ( I very much doubt that any of the shouty contributors would have anything to do with the SN board)

Just made me glum in a way I haven't felt for a while. Thanks for letting me vent
Now please tell me why I am being foolish to be upset. Because it fely like being shameful, second class or something

I think that would just end up being upsetting for everyone though riven. Perhaps someone should point MNHQ in the direction of this thread so they understand there are lots of people who find it upsetting but don't post as such because obviously they can't. I suspect MNHQ aren't really even aware how upsetting it might be potentially for people because they don't have kids with SN themseleves. There are several posts on here describing movingly why it is that way though.

And you know personally I am pro-choice, for whatever reason, and people should be able to access support. But it would be better I think if that could be accessed without upsetting others as its not really somewhere you can challenge deep rooted attitudes towards disability that some posters on those threads display. In many cases it's just the whole wrong audience thing again really and a separate topic would find the right audience perhaps.

i think sadly it seems mn hq have no idea about disability, they have shown this time and time again, so tbh their response doesn't suprise me at all.

OMG I have just seen a post on that thread in site stuff that has made me livid. We might upset those who have had terminations by being able to cope when they couldn't. WTF - so we have to hide our children as well and pretend they don't exist. And we're meant to lap that up and treat it as an OK thing to say?

words fail me

sorry to swear but fucking shite - let's lock all of the disabled kids up in a cupboard so we don't upset anyone who just isn't as 'special' and 'chosen by God' as we are.

Well most of us didn't have the choice of whether or not to cope anyway. So it's another mistaken belief about disability.

well quite.

And it's entirely possible that a number of those who get the right amnio result for them and believe they are having a "perfect" baby will end up with a baby with a disability that is not testable for.

As for that website, and its "saving the baby" comments, the only thing those babies are being saved from is bigoted ignorant parents.