You can all call me an old cow but I'm fed up with SN board being used as resource for general advice

[Davros]

We seem to have had a spate of threads started by parents who have worries about their child's behaviour and development. Most of these don't seem to have looked through the SN archive (although I have told Tech it only goes up to D it certainly covers Autism, Aspgergers, ASD). I don't want to be totally horrid but I wonder if people could have a little sensitvity into our situations and check the archive or simply post in B&D where I think most of these threads would be more appropriate.
I wasn't going to say anything as I thought it was just a phase and would stop but then two more appeared.
OK, call me an old cow.

I think people are just looking for advice and don't really know where to post, don't believe they are consciously being insensitive (a little up their own bums perhaps )

I must say though I know exactly where you are coming from, even though I don't have a child with SN, I find the seemingly continual 'could this be autism / ASD' posts acutely wearing, especially when you can't scream 'oh get a grip' just in case you are misreading the signs

I think maybe, simply by being here, mumsnet makes people think 'oh I'll just ask that' about the weird and wonderful things their kids do, whilst in RL it might take them a long long time to pluck up the courage to seek expert help (by which time the behaviour worries will most probably have stopped / moved on to the next weird thing that NT children do)

Having been through NT toddlerdom you get jaded seeing the 'lining up', 'freaking out', 'not talking / walking / sleeping / spitting / swearing' posts and want to shriek oh get a grip, I can only imagine how much worse it must be for parents of children with actual SN

(long rambly post of no use to man nor beast, sorry)

well 'ard us.

'oh get a grip Twiglett'

.. right, back to choosing sinks .. anyone want to choose a sink, tap or cloakroom suite for me????

Is it time for an SN FAQ?

Do you know twiglett I almost posted under the name 'getagrip' a while ago (post birth hormones? ) but then I decided that would be mean. So I didn't (never changed my name except at xmas so it would have confused me anyway).

Twiglet, I know you read and contribute to SN regularly so maybe that's why you understand what I was saying a bit better and you've described it perfectly.
But, for the first time since starting this thread I'm feeling guilty As I said, call me an old cow..... and listen for the Dalek wheels a comin' your way...

plain white is best twiglett.

our upstairs bathroom is pink- don't get that- hideous,

Message withdrawn

@ Jimjams

problem you'd get if you did change your name to 'get a grip' is that you wouldn't ever have to actually write anything .. you could just say 'see name'

I've got a headache from all the long threads today

Davros

you reaaly need to look at that link

I sort of know - I think! - what Davros is saying. I'm sure it is very, very hard when your child is severely affected by say, autism, or will probably never walk to have to listen to people like me wittering on about how their child is walking and talking and basically fine, but just really crap at some stuff. Ds does have something 'wrong' with him - probably a form of dyspraxia (plus, we recently discovered, he has rather more than averagely bendy muscles which might well account for his being unable to walk any distance or stand for long periods without becoming tired) BUT he will live his life perfectly OK as long as he can cope without anyone wanting him on their sports team. So I have tended to post in B&D rather than Special Needs (I think and hope! And if have have posted insensitively on SN boards I hope I will be forgiven) - though if someone is concerned about dyspraxia I will talk about my son.
I don't think Davros is trying to 'ban' anyone, but just pointing out that it can be emotionally difficult to listen to other people talking about their basically absolutely fine kids when theirs have infinitely more severe difficulties.
And if I'm wrong, I'm sure she will tell me so!
I have always found that when I have posted with any worries the mums with SN kids have been amazingly kind and generous with their comments and advice, so thank you.

RnB, what Jimjams is saying is that those of us who know (unfortunately) what is likely to be "unusual" would post and do in B&D or wherever. I think an SN FAQ is an excellent idea and time to improve those weblinks that are somewhere on MN. How about an MN SN book?
I have learnt the hard way with taps..... always get mixers in sinks, check whether certain designs need pressurised systems. If you are having your bathroom decorated INSIST that they put the toilet lid down or it gets filled up with all the dust and muck and will never be the same again, like mine. Not even vinegar will shift it.

Do I dare, is it the bat? I can't resist....
I really don't hold anything against people who have kids without problems except when they may forget that some of us do and it takes up a lot of everything (esp wine!).

That wasn't a link, it was a mirror (but not the bat)

Ple.e.a.se... look at my link ...

oops forgot to refresh --- isn't that fab

Message withdrawn

I mean sometimes I feel guilty about the amount of posts and advice I have typed about whether dd is asd or not. I still worry and still have concerns but won't post incase people get annoyed with me

davros I have run out of milk, have you any to spare ?

LOL! OMG! SN gets feisty.
I know exactly what you mean, Davros. I think that autism, in particular, gets so much media 'hype' that parents, very understandably, fret over things that are probably nothing to worry about. I, however, didn't fret at all about autism as I thought, well dd is a girl and is very affectionate so can't possibly be autistic . But actually, at the point I did worry about DD (still not on the autism route but knew something was DIFFERENT) I would have posted on B&D, I think, and you and Jimjams would have swooped down and taken me into your lair and pointed me in the right direction! (you know, 'DD,2, doesn't turn to her name, has NO playskills, said three words but never said them again, clapped once but never again, bangs radiators alot, plays with the straps on pushchairs, even with children in them, examines the outsides of environments, walks through children (virtually). Reckon your autism radar would have gone off?!!!!!

I know exactly what you mean Davros and can totally empathise - but, as the Twig says, MN does lend itself to people airing their worries and concerns. I don't think people who post on the SN board (when B&D would be more appropriate) mean to be insensitive - but I can see that when you are a parent whose child has genuine SNs it can come across like that. You've been very tolerant

I think (haven't seen the threads you are alluding to) it would probably be people who are either unfamiliar with MN or are unfamiliar with the SNs board - and don't realise the depth and breadth of problems people on the SNs board live with day to day.

Please don't sic your Daleks on me now...

What a superb link Twiglett

What is it with MN today???? All these long long threads!
Blossy dont you dare not post. i kno what an emotional rollercoaster you have been thrugh and it has been lovely to see your worry fading away. your posts are so bright and positive now....and your dd still has SN.

I totally understand where Davros is coming from and occasionally dh will have a read of the posts on the SN board...he secretly would love to post....but how would he cope being the only blokey here???? any way I digressed, dh often walks away from the comp shaking his head and muttering to him self...if only that was all we had to worry about!!!!

The support and understanding I have gained from all of you has been fantastic....you all pulled me through some of the darkest days. You have given me the ammunition to fire my bullets....I could not have gotten where I am without you all.

Gush Gush