You can all call me an old cow but I'm fed up with SN board being used as resource for general advice

[Davros]

We seem to have had a spate of threads started by parents who have worries about their child's behaviour and development. Most of these don't seem to have looked through the SN archive (although I have told Tech it only goes up to D it certainly covers Autism, Aspgergers, ASD). I don't want to be totally horrid but I wonder if people could have a little sensitvity into our situations and check the archive or simply post in B&D where I think most of these threads would be more appropriate.
I wasn't going to say anything as I thought it was just a phase and would stop but then two more appeared.
OK, call me an old cow.

I've actually found myself getting a bit worked up over this this afternoon. I just can't believe how people can't see other people points of view and i can'tbelieve some of the ott reactions. I'm going to try very hard to walk away from this totally over the top, ridiculous thread and pretend none of it ever happened. If i stray back I shall be cross with myself and i've got no willpower so i might, but i do hope i can stay away it's not doing me any good.

Jimjams, totally understand. I feel like I am not waving but drowning under the murky waves of severe autism at the moment. Got very curt e-mail from LEA saying panel is meeting at end of may 'and he will let me know the outcome' (Eh? This is after promising she had a place etc). And dd is eating everything. RnB, sounds like you have had one of those days. It's a bloody full moon at teh end of this week, isn't it?
Anyway, are we ever going to end this thread? I never thought of SN as 'fluffy'- quite the opposite, actually. But it is supportive.

I had a thought (rare for me these days)! Perhaps I could try and repay some of the debt I owe you guys by starting work on a kind of "beginners' guide to ASDs" - I could bash something out which could at least include something on the "red flags", a bit on the "red herrings" like lining things up and and sources of further information. Then we could see if there is somewhere to put it on mumsnet. I really don't think it would take me very long to bash something out. In the meantime (if I may) I promise that I will try and answer as many of the "worried that DS might be on the spectrum" type questions as I can. Does that sound okay?

I have only just read all of this and can I say how very sad I feel

Really don't think I will be coming on sn anymore tbh.
I use this place as support and to share my good (thankfully we are having lots of those lately) and obviously the bad.
Thanks to everyone for all of your great advice over the past year, it has really meant a lot. especially all of the Bibic stuff as you all know it has turned our lives around. I just don't think I can continue posting after all of this.
Unfortunately I don't feel the sn board will ever be the same.
Blossomxxx

OH NO!!!!!!
NO, NO, NO, BLOSSOM.
Right, can we start again?
This is really sad

Not been on Mumsnet much recently so can?t comment on recent posts. But have noticed more on SN in recent months. I hardly post much because I don?t have time to respond and therefore don?t ask many questions as I feel I have to give as much as I take. Even though I often have hundreds of questions I?d like to ask.

I understand that some of us here have a much harder time of it than others but there is more to our lives than just our children (even if it doesn?t seem like it at the time). Some of us cope better because we have a better support system with regard to their dh/partner, parents, school etc. And I agree with what scummymummy says it isn?t down to the level of disability it is down to the type of people dealing with it, how they cope with stress, how long they have known about it and so on.

Also I do think you get hardened to it and more used to it after awhile but of course it does grate from time to time that people can seem to worry about so little. But it is in the nature of us to do this isn?t it. I also realised how complex the whole thing is when I started my recent autism course. One of the mums with quite an able autistic boy was in tears and it transpired that he was finding school hard because he realises he is different and therefore it hurts him. Another mum?s boy is quite withdrawn and doesn?t? realise he has autism. The ?lesser? disabled one is actually finding it harder. I don?t want to turn this into a competition by the way just pointing out that the whole issue is very complex. So I guess what I am saying is that I agree with Davros to an extent that people should look in archives more (and this is the case for every topic) but that some people whose problems may seem trivial to us may actually be very real to them.

Agree with FAQ?s and things just being generally more organised.

Blossomhill -

Please change to:

Thank you

Message withdrawn

Well I wouldn't dream of posting on sn after this tbh. I think it's all very anti the spirit of mumsnet.

I don't want to be accused of resurrecting this thread, but just wanted to suggest something and give my pov for what it's worth.

I do sometimes see new threads appear with the same query on when just below it is an older, very similar thread. Some MNers do point out to the new poster that there is another thread similar which is great....

How about having a general statement at the beginning of SN which reads something like this: PLEASE REALISE THAT IN SOME CASES, SIMILAR THREADS HAVE BEEN POSTED WHICH MAY ANSWER YOUR QUERY. PLEASE FEEL FREE TO BROWSE AND THEN POST. SOME MNers DO NOT ALWAYS HAVE TIME/ENERGY TO GIVE ADVICE/SUPPORT FOR OBVIOUS REASONS.

I dunno, it may be an idea to have an intro - but better worded than that.

For myself, I have made some excellent friends and contacts and so many of you have been there to encourage me to do things which I have thought impossible. But questions which do get asked alot are things like DLA forms - which I did myself ask about and received so much support with. Infact the difference between receiving it or not receiving it and for that I am very thankful. I'll go away now I've had my say, but I think you're all great and I for one couldn't do without you. xx

But Jimjams, I hope you're ok and I sincerely hope you come back.

AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
It's still going on.
On the subject of something 'real' to worry about- Jimjams, why do you think ds may not be able to stay at his fab school?

he's going for the other kids- thinks its hilarious of course. always been my biggest fear- when he thinks something is funny it's sooo hard to stop.

yep that one rnb and the mid whatever one. Pleased to see it can be done whilst cleaning- something he loves (doesn't take after me then!)

is this the longest flounce?

Sorry I haven't read the whole thread, but I would like to sya something, apoligies if it has always been said.

Dd was born with a heart problem which was repaired by open heart surgery. When other people talked about their kids' problems, eg somebody worried that their dd's chickenpox may scar, I used to feel really bitter..."I wish that was all I had to worry about"

Then my thinking changed...I realised that, even though others' problems may not be as "serious", they are still problems which are concerning these parents, and therefore they are very important. Recently another mother was telling me how worried she was that her ds needed surgery to open a tear duct (very minor), instead of htinking to myself "What are you complaining about, try having a kid having heart surgery", I could genuinely empathise with this mother. For her it was a big deal, and therefore worth worrying about.

I think the SN board is a good place to ask questions when you are worried, because the parents here are very knowledgable, and know a hell of a lot more about "stuff" than most mums

I think I might have been one of these posters way back. Now, a year or so on, ds1 has deteriorated and up for dx Friday. Posting back along gave me the feeling i wasnt alone, which helped. And yes, he was lining things up at the time, that sort of thing. Now he is risking suspension at school coz they cant cope. Surely these things come in stages, at least with some kids? Most worries might end with smiles but some won't unfortunately, and this thread will alienate those who will need the help shortly.

probably bh and misdee but being kicked out of there does worry me- only because I'm really aware that there's nowhere else for him if they ever become unable to cope. it's SLD/PMLD so the behavioural issues of that type will be in the sld bit iyswim.

Surely though Jimjams he has only been there for a while and they know kids behaviour goes in phases.

he hasnt been there long jimjams, worry about IF they say they can t cope, atm am assuming they are working with u on this. have they said he may have to leave?

no - i'm just panicking- imagination working overtime. i just know how impossible he is once he thinks something is funny- no way of getting through to him.

can I flounce in peace now please I'm very aware that my name will be top of the active convos which is a bit embarrassing given I left a few hours ago

Okay Jimjams - You must (and me too) be allowed to flounce in peace

Take care and I really hope to hear from you in some way or form xxx

gave a good flounce jimjams, see you soon I hope