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SN children

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Original poster

anyone else's child have lack of party invites

76 replies

sparklymieow · 14/04/2005 22:55

I have realised today that DS hasn't been invited to any parties this year whatsoever. I don't know if it because he has CP or what... Dh thinks its because I am a bit strange myself and scare the parents off I think its because DS's CP is more noticeable this year and people are worried about having him there IYKWIM. I feel so sorry for the lad, I think I will have a HUGE party in december for his birthday...

OP posts:

KarenThirl · 15/04/2005 07:45

J's party invites are starting to wear thin too. He was invited to all of them until fairl recently but now his behaviour is becoming more out of line with his peers it's becoming more obvious that he's not welcome any more. One party he didn't get an invite to was one of his 'best friends'. TBH, there is a huge ration of girls to boys in J's year and they're all having disco parties now, which J hates so doesn't want to go. Having said that, it makes it all the more difficult when all the boys in the year are inviting each other to their parties (because there are so few of them), but J doesn't get to go to those either.

I think it's just par for the course and you have to get on with it, make a social life elsewhere if possible.

lou33 · 15/04/2005 09:00

i think this is one of the saddest threads I have read

Blossomhill · 15/04/2005 09:29

Yes it is lou

Dd was talking to herself in the bath saying that she never gets invited to any of the parties. So know how u feel.
Get this, last year out for a meal with some of the mainstream mums. Dd had been invited to this girl's party and the mum said "oh, I only invited your dd from the unit to the party as the kids in the unit are such hard work. I thought 1 was enough to cope with ."
I said to her "there are kids in the ms class far worse behaved than the unit lot"
She is such a bitch and I didn't send dd in the end.
This is the same person who takes delight in telling me things about my dd that her dd tells her. Do I really need to know ???

expatinscotland · 15/04/2005 09:40

I hated birthday parties as a kid. I was forced to have them b/c everyone else did. But I went to a small, all-girls private school and the whole class would be invited. And show up. I always felt so embarrassed and 'on stage'. I still hate them today and prefer a mini-break to a party.

I'd rather have gotten some other treat, and was grateful when I was about 8 and my dad started suggesting we got away from the weekend instead. Woohoo! I love travelling more.

DD is born in late June, after school lets out, and this next child is due over Christmas break. So maybe we'll be able to start our own tradition of going away for a mini-break instead .

misdee · 15/04/2005 09:41

sdo

i didnt take mieows kids to my dd's birthday thing this year as dh had just come out of hospital, and had just had dd3 so we only took one of dd's friends. was just a quiet thing.

sorry mieow

but usually when we do partythings we invite mieows kids, and we also invited a girl from dd nursery who has GDD, epilepsy and soemthing else (see how useless i am). she wasnt able to make it as she was ill. but we did take her party bag to her at nursery the following week.

MandM · 15/04/2005 09:46

Dd hasn't been invited to any parties at all via her nursery classmates since she joined last September and I had begun to wonder whether it was because of her CP/WS. To be fair though, because of my work arrangements i drop her off at the day care part of the nursery early morning and she is collected from nursery school at lunchtime by dh or mil, so i don't really get to interact with the other mums very often and also don't get to see whether invites are being handed out.
Decided not to dwell on it too much though, because a) she is still getting invited to family/family friend parties, b) the school she is going to in Sept. is a long way from this nursery so it will be a completely different set of classmates and c) I am hoping to arrange work so that I can drop off/pick up etc so that means I will be able to monitor the invite situation!

MandM · 15/04/2005 09:51

Am not changing my work hours just to monitor party invites BTW...lol

lailag · 15/04/2005 10:08

well, ds, 4 1/2 y, who is "NT" has only had 2 invitations in his "whole life", none for at least 1 1 /2 years. Slowly starting to realise about parties (or the lack of them). He is quite social, but I'm definately quite antisocial..

lou33 · 15/04/2005 12:27

ds is so excited about this party, he hasn't stopped talking about it. Dh is going to stay with him and give a hand, being the sole driver. I know he will come back and have a quiet cry about it later.

RnB · 15/04/2005 13:03

Message withdrawn

RnB · 15/04/2005 13:03

Message withdrawn

lljkk · 15/04/2005 13:12

My children are nt (does that mean "not special needs?") -- and they also have very few party invites... or playdate invites, or anything. I do chat to the mums, I did invite them to my son's party, I do try to get their children to come play after school. My children do run around with the other kids & seem to play nicely, seem to fit in. At least you ladies can blame other people's prejudices, I don't have any explanation for why my kids just aren't "popular" enough.

coppertop · 15/04/2005 13:12

Ds1 (nearly 5) has only ever had 2 invitations. Both were at pre-school and both were from the same little girl. He's started to notice now that he isn't being invited. For me the worst bit is when most/all the other children come running out of the classroom clutching their invitations and ds1 says in a matter-of-fact voice "I didn't get an invitation".

lockets · 15/04/2005 13:12

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coldtea · 15/04/2005 13:17

Lockets that is a great idea , my ds has just mised out being invited to a party & the parents were awful. 2 of them asked my ds if he was going & they saw that i wasn't handed an invitation

MandM · 15/04/2005 13:18

A Mumsnet SN Children's party would be fab - they could all have their own invitations (handmade and personalised by the cardmakers amongst us), we could get them all together in a big room where they could do whatever they wanted, just be theirselves without any worries, eat whatever they want or not if they don't and just have a brilliant time! (Plus copious amounts of wine and cake for the SN mums as well...of course!!!) Sounds like a plan...........

lockets · 15/04/2005 13:19

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tamum · 15/04/2005 13:20

If any of you are in Edinburgh this weekend, your children are cordially invited to my dd's 7th birthday party. I wish I was closer to most of you.

coldtea · 15/04/2005 13:21

I know , ds is actually quite popular & i have to say i was surprised but then you can't expect an invitation to every party. I just don't get why the parents see it as a popularity contest.

lou33 · 15/04/2005 13:23

aw tamum, that's why we love you!

Have you had your say on the brown eyed/ blue eyed thread yet?

coppertop · 15/04/2005 13:24

A mini-MN party for the children would be great! We took ds1 and ds2 to a family evening being held by our local support group. I think it was probably one of the best evenings ds1 has ever had. There were about 30 children of all ages running around (including siblings). Some were playing on the softplay equipment, some were wandering around stimming away and some were sitting watching the lights on the arcade games. It was so relaxing. There were children from all areas of the ASD spectrum. There was no pressure whatsoever.

tamum · 15/04/2005 13:25

{blush} Thanks Lou.

No, I hadn't seen that, off to look now

coppertop · 15/04/2005 13:25

Tamum

Original poster

sparklymieow · 15/04/2005 16:41

Spoke to one of the mum at the school, as she has a 18yr old with CP, and lots of kids inbetween!!... anyway she said the same thing happened with her DD, people were scared of the CP and she disn't get any invites either, she did say that her DS that is in DS's clas has been to 4 parties this year

OP posts:

lou33 · 15/04/2005 16:53

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