Thread 13: autism and any other additional needs A/W ‘23

[openupmyeagereyes]

Thread 13.

For parents / carers of disabled children, autism, adhd, and all other related neurological conditions. Most of us have children in primary school. But everybody welcome!

Chatting about anything and everything related to SN!

Links to previous threads.

Thread 12
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/special_needs/4816294-thread-12-autism-and-any-other-additional-needs?page=1

Thread 11
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/special_needs/4711291-primary-school-auties-11-2023-is-here 

Thread 10
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/special_needs/4592899-primary-school-auties-10-summer-and-beyond-2022?page=1

Thread 9
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/special_needs/4502988-Primary-school-auties-thread-9-spring-summer-2022

Thread 8
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/special_needs/4422100-Primary-school-auties-step-into-Christmas-and-the-New-Year-thread-8

Thread 7
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/special_needs/4303826-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-the-new-academic-year-thread-7

Thread 6
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/special_needs/4166833-Primary-school-auties-spring-2021-and-beyond-thread-6

Thread 5
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/special_needs/3953023-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-beyond-thread-5?page=36&reply=104240251

Thread 4
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/special_needs/3748449-Primary-school-Auties-into-2020-thread-4

Thread 3
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3

Thread 2
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2

Thread 1
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed

@dimples76 hope you're feeling better.
@danni0509 woohoo that its all going well but yes I totally hear you with thr ups and downs thing so here's to enjoying it while it lasts!
DS' asd is im pretty sure genetic especially i can see that as he gets older and is very much like my dad! They are doing the times chess puzzle now and DS has now taught me chess notation so I can write down the moves (lucky me)...
His teacher sent a photo of some really advanced maths he's been doing today, yet he still can't really use a knife and fork or belted trousers or tie shoes. Still, it'll come. His writing is finally coming along but he's always been one to do things in his own time.
We have been mooching through these ridiculously dark winter days! Only two weeks and a day to the solstice then lighter nights eventually! I'm off to see a play on Friday so looking forward to that and then getting our Xmas tree delivered at the weekend. Have to do it all in stages otherwise its too much for DS so will decorate after that (and DH has decided to repaint the lounge whhyyyy??) Our new year holiday got cancelled but at least we got the money back so looking to do some days out instead.

Toe is purple and still v painful. DS prodded it last night and asked if it hurt.

We saw the SALT as part of the assessment today and I was surprised how much DS focused on the task. Will be interesting to hear their verdict as that was DS at his best.

I also saw the therapist today. I think that he thinks that I am too physical in my management of DS's behaviour. I would agree but really can't see any alternatives when DS is about to step out in traffic or lunges to attack his sister. The therapist had been with DS this afternoon but no phone call as yet ...He went through a questionnaire with me about violence in the home. Hopefully something positive will come from this ...as at the moment it's just making me feel worse.

ElizabethBennett'sBoots I cannot comment on your DH as I am painting the hall.

Ahna that individualised approach sounds good. I feel a bit more sceptical about how far it is possible/desirable to identify the causes .

Therapist also saw DS this afternoon. His 1:1 wished me luck at pick up and said that therapist had seen DS at his most defiant- guess that is quite helpful really.

I think it is dimples. How was he after school?

Surprisingly Open he was fine. Today it is the school Christmas fair after school. DS is meant to be singing in the choir - think that this is probably all a bit too much so I am geared up for an early emergency exit.

How was it dimples?

Not good Open. The hall was packed. It was originally intended to be an outdoor event but unfortunately it was raining heavily. His behaviour was impeccable but he looked so anxious on the stage, chewing his sleeve and constantly moving about. I wanted to get him out of there but he was stuck in the middle. Surprisingly he was on really good form afterwards. Sometimes he is a complete mystery to me!

Aw @dimples76 glad he was on good afterwards but sorry he was stressed through it. Have that quite a lot with Dd, everyone will say ‘oh she was sooo good!’ But she will have been constantly stimming / eating her clothes and clearly stressed by whatever situation it was.

had such a bad night, worst in a while, she was up from 12-630, I mean come onnn DD !!

I was browsing for Xmas gifts through the night, really struggling with ideas for DD. Have seen ‘peapod’ / cozy canoe chairs in the US (kinda like a big pea pod for compression) and she’d love that but I can’t find anything the same in NL or UK for that matter. Does it ring a bell for anyone? Any memories of what went down well for gifts age 4/5?

Aaargh just a quick qu to all.

I know we talk about food a lot and DS doesn’t have restricted eating as in he eats anything really. However do any of you have periods where your Dc just won’t eat full stop? So at the mo DS rejects well everything for breakfast. I’ve just run around like a headless chicken offering toast, cereal, porridge, fruit, eggs… won’t eat any of it. Just pushes away or spits it out. His lunch will come back untouched. His dinner he will pick around with. He would happily have a packet of sweets but I don’t want to go there.

only the other week I couldn’t give him enough food he seemed ravenous.

he’s not unwell.

so he’s gone to school today after a glass of juice that’s it. ☹️. It’s like it’s not the food per se, he’s just not hungry?

And he’s tiny. Was wearing an age 5 Xmas jumper this weekend…

carrie ds only goes off his food when ill, he eats a similar amount most days. Despite having a very restricted diet since he was 2 he’s average height and weight.

I do feel my DS is more randomly changeable than your DC (with various things). DH often says about things ‘let’s wait and see his he is at the time’ before committing. Quite bizarre really.

Yes @carriebradshawwithlessshoes sometimes DD just won’t eat but I don’t think she can always interpret that she’s hungry. Although like open (or rather open’s DS!!), she’s not particularly tiny for her age. The pushing away and spitting out drives me absolutely insane tho.

@carriebradshawwithlessshoes DS will sometimes eat loads more and we wonder why, then he'll eat less for a day or so, then turns out he's grown like 3cm! Maybe see how he is tomorrow? Could be the start of a bug but I hope not.

Thanks he seems fine. Just not hungry. Which I suppose we all have days when we are less or more hungry but I just stress about sending him to school on a completely empty stomach!

carrie if it’s anything like ds’ school they have snack time if he gets hungry.

My DD eats like a sparrow but it's usually fairly consistent. She's also small for her age but always has been, and so is DS who now eats more than me so think that's just how they are.

Open yes I think they do… which is fortunate!

Carrie I know when I was at primary school I refused breakfast for a couple of years. Drove my Mum mad but then I just started eating it again. My DS is v petite too and likes to pick up things.

Yesterday I was putting the lights on the Christmas tree when the step ladder toppled backwards and I smashed down onto wooden chair. Ended up getting an ambulance to A&E as my blood pressure dropped suddenly. Seem to be okay this morning but in a lot of pain. DS did tell me this morning that he had missed me, DD on the other hand was super excited to have Granny sleepover

Blimey @dimples76 hope you're OK!! I wonder if it was the shock that made your BP drop?
Hope everyone else is doing OK. DS went to a party at the weekend which he enjoyed and then we had McDonald's for tea ooppps! I've got three more days at work after today then three days next week to prep everything before DS finishes!!

Oh no dimples, I hope you’re feeling better. You are in the ears at the moment

*in the WARS…

Hi everyone. Isnt it a nightmare trying to get two autistic children out the door in the morning? Completely different needs/ profiles . The older one will sit on the edge of the bed, staring into space and needs prompting for every step. She needs me to literally hand her everything, pack her lunch, lay out her clothes and then prompt, prompt, prompt.

Meanwhile, the little one has a PDA type profile and says she can't go to nursery because she's got work to do, her clothes don't fit or any other excuse. She will physically try to stop me putting clothes on her. Unless I pretend to be Barbie or something 😂 this is challenging for me because of my own autism and crappy imagination 🙈

Thanks Open and ElizabethBennett'sBoots. Think that all the stress and exhaustion is taking it's toll - yesterday's accident would definitely not have happened if I hadn't been so tired. It has helped me re-set though and I have decided to take sick leave for the rest of the week. On Friday I have a telephone appointment to find out the outcome of the neurodevelopmental assessment. At least we had our last in person appointments yesterday before the fall. DS is very anxious though. Yesterday my Mum was trying to keep him out of the room when the paramedics were here but he wouldn't listen. When my blood pressure dropped they couldn't find my radial pulse and so DS is now worried that I am going to die.

And Myopicbunny getting out the house with my DC is my least favourite part of the day

MyopicBunny that sounds challenging! I guess building in lots of contingency time is key. I only have one so can only imagine.

dimples how has ds been with the rest of the tests? I’m not sure what the ideal outcome is Friday, but I’m hoping it’s helpful.