Primary school auties thread 9 - spring / summer 2022.

[danni0509]

Thread 9.

Links to previous threads below.

For the parents / carers of children with additional needs, most of us have asd / adhd children in primary school, but anybody is welcome to join us to chat x

Thread 1
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed

Thread 2
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2

Thread 3
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3

Thread 4
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3748449-Primary-school-Auties-into-2020-thread-4

Thread 5
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3953023-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-beyond-thread-5?pg=1

Thread 6
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4166833-Primary-school-auties-spring-2021-and-beyond-thread-6?pg=1

Thread 7
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4303826-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-the-new-academic-year-thread-7

Thread 8
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4422100-Primary-school-auties-step-into-Christmas-and-the-New-Year-thread-8

I tried to post on the last thread, said thread closed. I didn’t realise we were at a thousand. I thought shit I’m barred, what have I said 🤣

carrie how’s it going down under 😂😂😂 I hope your dh survived the night and you had a good time away x

Ha just tried to post too! Thought I'd done something!! Thanks for the new thread @danni0509!
@livpotter oh gosh, hope you're all better soon.
@openupmyeagereyes omg have all the coffee that sounds awful!
@danni0509 DS can be like that with toileting. I had such a problem at his Ms school before because they would ask him all the time if he needed to go, which resulted in refusal! Now we just build it into his routine and we all do it, e.g. if we're leaving the house then we all pop to the loo first. And he gets a star for every successful toilet trip...20 stars at the end of the week equals a present. I mean, I always engineer it so he gets a gift anyway!

Thanks for the new thread danni.

Yes, carrie I hope you enjoyed your girly night away 🍷💃

Thanks for starting the new thread Danni.

I resort to threats too. I often say no screen time until you have been to the toilet because you're not listening to your body when you're on the ipad. Continence team also suggested timers to us but DS just ignores or flips them over again. I don't think that it is PDA but he can be very defiant especially around toileting issues. I thought that getting DS to empty the blocked toilet might help stop that habit but unfortunately he enjoyed it.

DD is whingeing a lot this morning and I have also woken up in low spirits - DS is in a good mood though. We're going to head to the beach and hopefully reset the day for DD and me.

Carrie I hope that you're having a good break

I hope you enjoyed your day at the beach dimples, I wish we lived closer to the sea.

Ds napped for exactly 30 minutes in the car yesterday 🤣 He slept until 4:30 today which I know is still ugh but counts as pretty good here!

Here you all are, hiding from me!

Yes lovely night away thank you.

Will post more soon but need to say something so I’m notified of posts now I’ve tracked you all down 🤣🤣🤣

Hope the beach was nice @dimples76.
Hi @carriebradshawwithlessshoes!
Well, we got in the car today to go to a forest...rain got so bad, went for a drive instead! DS finally gone to sleep after trying to do a rubiks cube since 8...! I'm thinking about going to Galicia in Spain the the summer. Has anyone been?

Hello all! Thanks for starting the new thread @danni0509. Taxi situation sounds poor (especially when he's just finally edging towards a normal school day otherwise!)

If the same woman really has to do both can she not drop the other boy off 10-15 minutes early and he can play or help the teachers set up or whatever? Otherwise she clearly can't do both.

Hope the sleep gets better for you too @openupmyeagereyes!

Thanks for the new thread danni. Hope they picked up ds on time this morning?

Kids are back in school today. I'm still getting positive tests so it looks like I'll be in quarantine for a bit longer.

Oooh Spain sounds nice magrat. I've never been.

Hope ds had been getting up a bit later open.

Hope everyone else is ok.

This morning taxi came at 9.00am, she said PA text and said she might be a few minutes late as there are loads of road works, I said look I’m not bothered about what her excuses are, bottom line is I don’t want him leaving late. She wouldn’t be late if she didn’t do a drop before him. Let’s not shirt around what the real reason for her lateness is.

Taxi then got dead shitty with me!!!!!

Said well I don’t see what the problem is? So I said ds getting to school late?!

She then lied to my face and said he isn’t late he arrives at 9.30 every morning, I said well his teacher claims otherwise! (Plus I’m not an idiot I know how long it takes to drive it, I’ve done it several times myself! It’s 35 minutes not breaking the speed. Which she does often as ds tells me she goes 72 in a 60 and he doesn’t lie, he’s obsessed with checking your Speedo, so I expect she makes some time up on the way hence why he’s only sometimes late)

So I said was ds 15 minutes late on Friday? And she said possibly, I didn’t check. How do you know he gets there at 9.30 every day then! Contradiction…

Plus she has this app she logs in to now she told me so herself so she knows damn well the time.

She said well if school have an issue with it they need to complain by email, I said no school won’t complain it’s not a school complaint, his teacher told me if I’m not happy (which I’m not) then I should complain, she laughed and said the taxi company won’t take a parent moaning seriously. I said moaning? How am I moaning by stating the truth!

Ha ha ha. Might not take a parent seriously, but if I were to contact the local authority transport service? The ones who give you the contracts.

Ds got to school late 15 minutes on Friday, but that’s ok, because his PA has another boy to get to school first ON TIME. So I should basically stop moaning and be greatful they are taking ds even if it’s late?

I then said his hours go up to 2pm next week, pa was here at this point. The pa said, says who? I said says his teacher! (How unprofessional!)

They looked at each other like they weren’t best impressed.

Not best impressed because ds being on reduced hours has suited them both, they can do afternoon runs after ds. His pa has to be picked up at 2.15 from her home for her pick up and now she won’t be getting ds home until 2.30… with any luck she’ll have to drop the morning one too!

Why do I always have so many issues with everyone and everything regarding ds?

My mum said it’s because I’m so particular!

But I don’t think I’m being particular to expect him to do full time hours that he’s legally entitled to do, and get to school on time.

I’m made to feel like I should just shut up and accept any old shit. I feel like people think that I’m ‘that’ parent who just moans for the sake of it.

Way I see it, don’t give me any reason to moan, if services stopped trying to swindle my Ds left right and centre i’d have nothing to moan about!

I can admit when I’m in the wrong, (I don’t like to 🤣) but I’m not wrong for these reasons am I?

It was always the same with his old school, I had to complain all the time, same with this school having to complain all the time. Now the taxi etc.

But each and every time it’s because they are either treating ds unfairly for a multitude of reasons or like the taxi thinking it’s ok to rock up to school whenever because they are cashing in on him being on reduced hours in the first place and cramming as many runs in before and after him!

the taxi company won’t take a parent moaning seriously

danni that's outrageous. Who do they think they are? It is not unreasonable to expect that the taxi service gets your ds to school on time. I would complain to the LA. You are also not being difficult for wanting your child to be in FT education after 3.5 years.

Ds refused to go to school this morning. I managed to get him in for about half an hour at 11ish. We will see what tomorrow brings.

You're not being unreasonable @danni0509. I would be livid too. What a nightmare!
Definitely complain and get it all on record for the next time the LA tender for contracts for transport.

The taxi people are being ridiculous Danni.

Magrat I have not been to Galicia but I would love to go back to Spain. We are going to Dumfries & Galloway at Easter which is the furthest I imagine that I'll be travelling for a while!

We had a great time at the beach on Saturday. Not so great a time swimming on Sunday. Since DS turned 8 I have been able to take my 2 without having to rope in another adult. It has generally been exhausting but fine but on Sunday I had no control. The pool attendant told DS to get out of the pool in the end - he was not being a bother to others in the pool but they heard my x20 trying to get him to leave and then DD started having a massive tantrum. I then realised that I had misplaced my vest when we were getting ready. So I left the pool building wearing a completely see-through black top with bright pink bra underneath and 2 screaming children - classy as always!

Get you Dimples, move over Claudia Schiffer! 🤣🤣. I have found since having DS there are so many circs when I am just avoiding eye contact with people!!! At least you were wearing a bra, it could have been worse….!!!!!

Danni I agree that’s mad! Hope you get it sorted. Great your hours are going up.

Hol sounds lovely Magrat tho haven’t been to that area unfortunately.

A little triumph Sunday, DD wanted to go to the cinema to see Sing 2. I have never taken DS before. It was Everyman so could book a sofa, food etc. Dithered then thought oh sod it and took both on my own. Told DD if I had to leave I would only be outside in the bar and wouldn’t leave the cinema. Anyway it was a great success, both loved it, DS v good and stayed in his seat for over 2 hours albeit with popcorn but nevertheless. Quite an achievement!!

Argh MN new platform forgot me (Magrat) but I'm back hooray!

Excellent Susan!! Must say it doesn’t take much to confuse me with these things. Last secret Santa from work (meant to be an appropriate gift for the person) was an idiots guide to IT. On the front was a pic of a PC and the title was ‘how the f do I turn it on?’. Enough said for me!

Hi susan welcome to the group 🤣

I often feel like doing a name change, not sure what to like.

dimples you did make me laugh with your classy as ever comment. Ds pulled my tits out of my swimming costume in turkey when he was little. Dh splashed him the eyes and ds grabbed my costume and pulled it down towards his eyes to dry them and exposed everything! 😂

open did ds go to school any easier this morning?

carrie I’m pleased you managed the cinema, I took ds once and it was as bad as I imagined it would be 😅 cinema popcorn is the best!

I’ve been going to the gym. Every morning but not Monday as that’s my food shopping day.

Just for 45 mins a morning. It’s 5 mins from my house so I’m home within an hour.

I do cardio twice a week and weights twice a week.

I think perhaps that’s where I’ve gone wrong in the past, I lost 3 stone or might’ve been 4 can’t remember i yo yo that much, but I still looked fat. So I thought if I do weights (I’ve been watching YouTube vids) it might make me look less wobbly.

I’m combining it with intermittent fasting which I’ve stuck at 4 weeks so far!

I don’t go at weekends or school holidays, but I think 4 times a week is enough?! Better than what I’ve been doing (nothing!).

That's fab danni, I'm sure it will make a big difference in the coming weeks. I really need to get back into an exercise habit, so hard with ds here all the time. I was hoping to be able to start going for a walk for half an hour after ds starts school but that's not happening now.

I meant to ask what you thought of the declarative handbook. I thought it was good but need to go back through it with a highlighter. I'm reading the Luke Bearden book now.

carrie glad cinema was a success. We've been twice and ds has been fine. First was an autism friendly showing, second was just regular and it was very loud but he did great.

dimples hope you've recovered from swimming.

Ds went to school fine but has started saying he wants me to stay in the classroom with him again. He was only there about 40 minutes today.

Wow Danni I'm impressed.

DS loves going to the cinema but then asks to go to the toilet every few minutes.

I have just heard from the Tribunal, the EHCP hearing which was meant to be on Tuesday has been postponed until mid-June. I am so fed up. Don't really know where to go from here. DS's next annual review is due in April but the hearing relating to last year's review is 2 months later... I'm thinking that if the Ed Psych comes out as promised then there may be other significant changes, including hopefully change of placement. Feels like we're going around in circles.

I swear they only make it as stressful as possible dimples so you don’t have the energy to challenge it. Bastards! I’m sorry things have been further delayed.

liv I hope you’re tests are negative soon.

open I hope ds managed longer today. Are the other children who were staying shorter times now staying a little longer?

light how is dd doing with her anxiety?

I’ve changed my eating window to 11-6 now open i can’t wait till 12 no more, im practically chewing my arms off waiting for my dinner! The taxi said this morning my face looks thinner then I dropped my sister and nephew off to a hospital appointment when ds had gone to school and when she came to the car she said the same thing!

I like

Ds has refused to go in today so I am back to trying to home school a reluctant child. I honestly can't see a way out of this, changing schools hasn't worked. I'm feeling very low today.