Primary School Auties 11: 2023 is here

[openupmyeagereyes]

Thread 11.

This is a thread for the parents & carers of children with additional needs. Most of us have autistic/ADHD children in primary school, but anybody is welcome to join us to chat x

Links to previous threads below.

Thread 1
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed
Thread 2
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2
Thread 3
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3
Thread 4
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3748449-Primary-school-Auties-into-2020-thread-4
Thread 5
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3953023-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-beyond-thread-5?pg=1
Thread 6
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4166833-Primary-school-auties-spring-2021-and-beyond-thread-6?pg=1
Thread 7
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4303826-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-the-new-academic-year-thread-7
Thread 8
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4422100-Primary-school-auties-step-into-Christmas-and-the-New-Year-thread-8
Thread 9
www.mumsnet.com/talk/special_needs/4502988-Primary-school-auties-thread-9-spring-summer-2022
Thread 10
www.mumsnet.com/talk/special_needs/4592899-primary-school-auties-10-summer-and-beyond-2022?page=1

Yes, he's on antibiotics now. He also got stressed as the Dr told us to run because the only pharmacy in town was closing in twenty minutes.

I bet you did liv, I love it.

dimples I’m sorry, so hard when they harm themselves

Happy Easter everyone. A quiet day today, we’re going to family tomorrow. Ds did an egg hunt in the garden this morning and we went swimming yesterday which was fun.

Hi all, Easter weekend mixed for us. Too much excitement with family over yesterday leading to a fair amount of disregulated behaviours. Then today, a forest trip really helped, then I managed to run for 20 mins, new personal best!
@openupmyeagereyes hope seeing family goes well.
DH back to work tomorrow and we have a trip out planned with friends. Then not much else on this week so hoping to just have downtime at home.

That’s fantastic Uno, congratulations. I used to like running pre ds but my pelvic floor isn’t up to it now so I have to walk instead!

Thanks @openupmyeagereyes ! I feel stiff after etc but have lost weight already and, weirdly,it is massively helping my pelvic floor issues...(I tore with DS, not to be too graphic, but feeling much better!)

Ouch! Glad it’s helping.

How’s everyone’s holidays going? We had a couple of broken nights but better last night. Had a good walk and play at a country park with friends too.

I don’t think we’ll do much today, I really need to catch up on some housework and we can do a bit of gardening. I will get myself out for a walk this morning though, it’s looking nice at the moment.

Ds is not back at school until Tuesday.

That sounds like a calm day open. Both kids are back on Tuesday here.

Been pretty relaxed here. Haven't done much since we got back from the grandparents. I'm already not looking forward to telling ds about school next week.

Back to school on Monday here.

We had a few nights away on the Yorkshire coast and got home yesterday. DS was on an emotional roller coaster. My Mum came with us and was pretty shocked by his behaviour. She also struggled with other people's reactions to him - it made me realise how much of that I let wash over me. My Mum wondered to me if her presence made DS worse. I have not told her but when we got back he asked that Granny not come on holiday with us again. DD is thrilled to have Granny there and obviously I love having my Mum, it's especially lovely to have adult company in the evenings as I spend most of mine alone.

I worked until 2pm today then took DS to see the Super Mario film. He was in heaven - our first cinema trip without any trips to the toilet (he normally asks to go at least 6 times)

liv good luck. Ds actually said that he missed school a few times last week. He’s not said it this week so I’ve no idea how we’ll get on.

dimples that’s a big disappointment. Did he say what exactly bothered him?

Was anyone back today? I hope it went ok.

Ds is back tomorrow and dh out early to go to London so no help there. I’m hoping it will go ok.

We’ve had a better couple of mornings (still 5am but that is ‘better’ for us). Last week we had a day at the seaside and also the dentist, both went well. Thankfully ds is quite tolerant of the dentist and he gets a new toy afterwards which I think is a good deal!

I had to coax DD out from under the bed to get her to school but she perked up when she got there. She's come out absolutely shattered, I suspect because her teacher was ill and while they had the regular supply she likes it wasn't expected. And she managed to run into someone in P.E. OT says she doesn't meet the threshold for dyspraxia but she does struggle with gross motor skills so this is a regular occurrence.

Ds is back tomorrow. I’ll be glad of the breather, he’s been off nearly 3 weeks now. Too long for me! 😅

Can I ask, are any of your dcs showing signs of puberty / hormones?

I never know what is what with ds, a lot I put down to adhd / autism, but then have to remember he’s also going to grow up like normal too. He was 9 in January.

He’s always been emotional and dramatic, and cries a fair bit, but Christ on a bike. He hates me, wants me to move out multiple times a day, he’s now saying he hates himself, his friends hate him, he hates his friends, his teachers hate him, he says to the teacher if she chooses another star of the week ‘you hate me and that’s why you didn’t choose me’ everything is more of a big deal ifyswim. He’s an emotional wreck. He’s fine one minute then roaring the next. Ive noticed over the last few weeks aswell that he smells a bit like BO so we’ve been using deodorant which is a task in itself getting it on him.

Any ideas?

I did briefly mention at CAMHS last time and his nurse said he may be starting pre puberty.

Also he’s telling me a lot that he hates school and he’s not going anymore. He wants to stay home.

He’s not being bullied or anything, most in his class aren’t capable of that without sounding rude. They hit each other yes, but it’s usually ds who is the instigator.

He’s always loved school. And never said he doesn’t want to go anymore.

I don’t like older kids 🤣

I thought older kids where meant to be easier, the older ds gets the more troubles we have…

DS is back tomorrow too. We've had such a lovely couple of weeks overall, I'm a bit sad about the transition, but it'll be nice to get back to normality and the usual routine. The holidays have cost me a fortune too with all the days out, lunch in town, popping to the shop etc! He's excited but nervous about going back.
DS is only 7 but looks older and I've noticed that he has a lot of body hair and the bo smell by the end of the day under his arms. He has a bath every night though.

Yes ds baths every night, he smells gorgeous for school, he wears men’s perfume 🤣 and deodorant but by the time he gets home he’s a stinky mess.

Yes to the spending a fortune, we have too, even though we’ve done a few free bits too like the park and out on his bike, I’m totally skint now.

It's mad isn't it. Just popping to the shop is a tenner!

DS went back today. Went in fine, came out seemingly fine. Since we have been home not at all fine - weed on the sofa, scaring his sister, calling me a stupid asshole and threatening me with violence. Looking forward to him being asleep.

My DS is going to be 10 in June! No signs of puberty here but DS has had multiple ops on testes and Endocrinologist doesn't think that it will happen on its own.

@dimples76 sorry back to school wasn't great. Good luck to all going back tomorrow, hope it goes well.
My DS is10 and starting to get quite moody but no obvious signs of puberty. I don't think his autistic but he's always been sensitive and it seems to have ramped up a notch lately.

dimples I hope ds was more regulated today.

I hope back to school was ok for everyone.

Ds went in fine and had OT before he left. He had a bit of a tantrum about screen time this afternoon when it was time to have a break but that’s nothing unusual.

I haven’t noticed any pre-puberty stuff yet. The last two summers he’s got a bit sweaty under his arms when hot, which he doesn’t like the feel of but I didn’t notice it smelling.

That's good Open

DS was okay until about 6pm when he started screaming at DD. I feel really tired. It's 3 years today since DD came home. I was watching a video of the 2 of them that day earlier and it made me cry - he was so gentle and kind to her. I don't get to see that side of him very often these days.

Hope back to school wasn't too challenging for everyone else

Dimples your ds seems quite similar
to mine with some of the things he comes out with. And the threatening of violence 😅

Im frequently told I’m going to be a ‘dead guy’ and called an arsehole and an idiot etc.

This morning (second day of term) I’ve had a call off his teacher regarding his language. They did phonics yesterday and had to find items around the classroom beginning with ‘f’ she said there were flowers, feathers and felt tips on the table. Ds said ‘fuckers’ when asked to find an item and then started to say mother fuckers to all of the class. She told him not to use words like that in the classroom so instead he then starting saying ‘chucking hell’ and mother chucker (she said she thought this was quite smart for him) he was back to swearing again this morning.

I said to him when I was little I used to get washing up liquid in my mouth if I swore, so he said when he sees nanna (my mum) he’s going to hit her for being horrible to me when I was a child.

Unoqueenie we got a McDonald’s in half term, 2 adult meal, a happy meal for ds and a McFlurry for him and it cost £27. It’s so ridiculous isn’t it how much everything costs! We used to go to McDonald’s fairly often but can’t afford to at those prices x