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Primary School Auties 11: 2023 is here

1000 replies

openupmyeagereyes · 03/01/2023 07:25

Thread 11.

This is a thread for the parents & carers of children with additional needs. Most of us have autistic/ADHD children in primary school, but anybody is welcome to join us to chat x

Links to previous threads below.

Thread 1
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed
Thread 2
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2
Thread 3
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3
Thread 4
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3748449-Primary-school-Auties-into-2020-thread-4
Thread 5
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3953023-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-beyond-thread-5?pg=1
Thread 6
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4166833-Primary-school-auties-spring-2021-and-beyond-thread-6?pg=1
Thread 7
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4303826-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-the-new-academic-year-thread-7
Thread 8
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4422100-Primary-school-auties-step-into-Christmas-and-the-New-Year-thread-8
Thread 9
www.mumsnet.com/talk/special_needs/4502988-Primary-school-auties-thread-9-spring-summer-2022
Thread 10
www.mumsnet.com/talk/special_needs/4592899-primary-school-auties-10-summer-and-beyond-2022?page=1

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6
openupmyeagereyes · 01/04/2023 13:53

Oh I wonder why that is dimples? Good that he wasn’t forced to go to the service anyway. Maybe all he needs is a break.

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LightTripper · 02/04/2023 22:43

My DS (NT) is desperate for a break - wants to quit everything at the moment (music, both his after school clubs, his Saturday morning activity, didn't want to do holiday club), so hopefully it's just tiredness and he'll get back into some of them after the holidays. I think I'm going to drop at least one of the after school sessions after Easter and I'm hoping the holiday will be a bit of a reset for him though we're dashing around the country a bit visiting family. He does usually enjoy that though so hopefully it will be "a change is as good as a rest". He's not a massive reading fan and school suggested that he re-read books when I asked for an extra book to be sent home, which I also declined to do! So it seems to be a common thing but I can't think of any children I know who would willingly re-read that kind of book again as soon as they've finished it. I don't think my sanity would stand it let alone DS's. We also now just read something from home or from the library if we get through DS's book from school too quickly.

I've been off the thread for ages so just catching up with everyone's news! It was lovely to read about your good SALT experience @carriebradshawwithlessshoes - any more news on the AAC? Does DS use AAC at home, I can't remember, or would that be a completely new skill he'd be learning at school? Very encouraging either way! I also can't believe all the shenanigans with the consultant though. Even for an NT kid bloods are not to be taken lightly - I can't believe she sent you off on a wild goose chase like that, poor DS. I hope you get at least an acknowledgement that they fucked up and will be more careful in future.

@dimples76 I felt for DS falling asleep at 3 after the party - shows how hard he was working internally! I agree with the others it makes sense to go for the secondary you think will work best regardless of what they say is possible. I know some of the Mums around here have added super expensive alternatives and believe that got them the (cheaper) school they actually wanted but of course you never know what would have happened if they'd just listed that one. I do think sadly pushiness pays off quite often though.

@Ahna65 I don't know if it's still relevant but one nanny we interviewed had been making up photo albums for one of the families she worked for, and I thought that was a good idea - I never get around to doing anything with photos so it's constantly on my to do list, but I'm now only working about a day a week and they're still not getting done, so I suspect the kids will be grown up and out of the house by the time I actually get around to it....

@Jules912 I'm keeping everything crossed DD is well enough to go and enjoy herself tomorrow. I'm sorry this is probably a very naive question but why does school not want to get an EHCP for DD? If they are struggling to provide the support she needs from their standard funding surely that's exactly what an EHCP is for? I hope you get some proper support from them either way though - I do think the gap between struggling and coping can be quite small accommodations that just help smooth the most stressful bits of the day.

@openupmyeagereyes it's great that DS managed a longer day at school and a good parents evening - do they seem confident that he's on a good trajectory now with enjoying things more? I enjoyed the Christine McGuinness documentary too (and I have to admit that having seen the previous doc and been quite disturbed at some of Paddy McG's attitudes I was quite pleased to hear they're not together any more). I still haven't finished watching the Chris Packham ones yet but hopefully I'll have time over the next few days.

Is anyone else watching A Kind of Spark on the BBC? I've only seen the first couple of episodes but it's very well done and a good story.

We're also going to see the Mario movie - though I really wanted to see the Mummies one more (we saw a trailer and it seemed really funny) - we might go to that in the week after Easter I think.

I never really had problems with the tube/buses in London while pregnant in the sense that once I got visibly pregnant I felt people offered me a seat quite often but I didn't really need one by then, as I was lucky to have a fairly easy late pregnancy. The bit where I struggled was early on when I didn't look pregnant at all. I did have to ask for a seat a couple of times then but I just said I was feeling ill (which was true!) and each time the person did give me a seat (I think it was probably the fear of being vommed over as much as anything!)

DD was invited to a party today which was nice as she so rarely is. She really falls between two stools as she doesn't really socialise with the other girls at school (she either plays football with the boys or reads her book), so understandably doesn't get invited to their stuff much, but the boys often just have boys-only football parties (which is also understandable and DD doesn't know that much about football and isn't good compared to them as OH and I know nothing about it and haven't taken her to football clubs and camps and stuff like most of the boys have been on). So I do feel that she misses out a bit and it was nice to see her being included and having a nice time! I was a bit scared inviting classmates to her party but actually everyone said yes (possibly because we are doing something quite good - bribery wins every time!!) - so looking forward to that too (in a slightly terrified way) but it's not for a while.

Jules912 · 03/04/2023 10:49

@LightTripper she has tonsillitis but has at least agreed to take the antibiotics with lots of bribery so will hopefully be better soon, and the place we were going today let me reschedule so all good. School don't want to apply for an EHCP as they don't think she'll get one as what she needs would cost less than 6k and no one is going to agree to full time 1-2-1 just so she has someone to help her regulate or take her out a couple of times a day ( the times aren't predictable). They did say that she would probably need one for high school but that's still years away.

openupmyeagereyes · 03/04/2023 13:19

Jules poor dd, it must be so painful. I hope the antibiotics kick in soon.

Light great that dd was invited to a party, I hope she enjoyed it. Hopefully both dc can have a reset over the break. I hope dd’s own party goes well too.

We had a quiet weekend. Ds had a play date with a non-school friend who is also autistic and it went really well. It’s so nice not to have to get out to school early!

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openupmyeagereyes · 03/04/2023 13:22

Jules a tricky situation with dd, once that seems like the type to fall between the cracks. It sounds like the school are not spending anything like £6k trying to support her. I still feel there might be some benefit to having adult support at certain times or for certain classes and maybe a TA share might work - are there other dc who need or have similar support?

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Jules912 · 03/04/2023 13:45

They do usually manage to find someone to support her for PE, but on that day she got sent somewhere else because another TA was off sick.
I don't know if there are other similar children, they said they had quite a few autistic children but can't talk about their specific needs. The senco did say she was looking at setting up a support/ social skills group for them but would probably be key stage 2 kids to start with.

Jules912 · 03/04/2023 19:33

@LightTripper hope Dd enjoyed the party. Hope everyone is having a good start to the holidays.

UnoQueenie · 04/04/2023 19:34

Hi all! Hope everyone is enjoying the holidays. Pretty intense day here, walked ages to a locally organised egg hunt, had a lovely lunch out, but then all caught up with DS this afternoon and he's been quite disregulated (mainly throwing himself about and looking mega tired but not wanting to sit still at all or rest). Trampoline helped! Now I'm just being asked quickfire maths questions and my brain feels fried! He's not wanting screen time either bless him as he said he's worried about getting obsessed with it!
Tomorrow he's getting a hair cut so I'll keep the rest of the day free and then nothing planned for Thurs.

dimples76 · 04/04/2023 20:10

Hope that DD's party goes well Jules.

Uno that sounds exhausting- sometimes I am grateful for DS's love of screens.

I am feeling rather frazzled today. Pet sitting at my Mum's is very tiring and I feel that I am constantly telling DS off as he is either behaving inappropriately with the dog or damaging something in the house. To add to the chaos there is a decorator here painting a couple of rooms who DS keeps questioning. The decorator asked me earlier if DS was particularly talented at anything (which he isn't) then mentioned that his DN has SEN and has a photographic memory. To escape from the challenges of Granny's house we went to a wetlands centre. However, DD kept running off and tantruming. She did provide other visitors with entertainment- her biggest tantrum was my refusal to accommodate her request for our next outing. She wants us to climb Mt Everest! Fortunately, there is only 1 more night here after tonight

In better news yesterday a nurse and play therapist from the Continence team came for a home visit. For the first time we have been under the service it feels like there is proper support and a plan. Mostly things we have tried before but more joined up

LightTripper · 04/04/2023 22:34

Hopefully one of those things might still work even if it hasn't worked before, if they apply it consistently and at a time when he's ready for it. Will keep everything crossed anyway! At least you will know he's having all the support he should be getting.

Yes party went well I think - it was just a 5 a side thing but DD had fun and got some Match Attax cards which she is now very interested in!

livpotter · 05/04/2023 10:35

Sorry I've been quiet, I had a horrible virus that has taken me out for a couple of weeks, still not feeling brilliant nearly three weeks on.

Mount Everest sounds totally achievable Dimple's Grin. I'm glad the time at your mum's is nearly done, it sounds like hard work!

Good news about the party light. We went to see Mummies the other day and the kids both really enjoyed it.

Uno that sounds like hard work, hope the haircut goes ok.

Hope everyone else is doing ok.

We have had quite a revelation here in that Ds has managed to go to our local funfair not once but twice! It's been so nice to be able to take him to do something new. Dd is in holiday club until Friday and then we'll go and see the Mario movie. I hope it's good as ds has been asking to go and see it for months! We are going to see the grandparents over the Easter weekend but I have failed to plan anything for the second week of the holidays. Hoping the kids won't get too bored.

UnoQueenie · 06/04/2023 20:04

Had a very relaxed day at home today,just what we needed. DS much more regulated mostly. I moved the mario film to May as they're doing a relaxed showing, which I think he'll cope better with. Looking forward to the bank holiday now!

UnoQueenie · 06/04/2023 20:05

Oh and I started running again. Two sets of 8 mins each with a break in the middle. Very good for body and mind!

dimples76 · 06/04/2023 20:13

Sorry to hear that you have been ill Liv. Good news about the fair

Well done on the running Uno

We are back home - phew!

UnoQueenie · 06/04/2023 22:35

Sorry you've been ill too @livpotter x

openupmyeagereyes · 07/04/2023 06:14

Jules how is ds now?

dimples glad you survived the pet sitting, how was it overall? Great you’re feeling positive about the approach from the continence team, hopefully ds being older will help.

liv sorry you’ve been so poorly and it’s lingering on. Great ds was able to do something new.

Uno glad ds is more regulated after some downtime at home and you were able to run again.

We haven’t done anything too ambitious yet. Dh has a week off now and we’re going to see the Mario film today.

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openupmyeagereyes · 07/04/2023 07:55

Sorry Jules I meant dd.

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livpotter · 07/04/2023 08:18

Thanks everyone.

Great that you are running again uno. I really need to get back into doing yoga again but I'm struggling to find the motivation!

Glad you're back home dimples.

We're also going to see Mario today open. Hope it lives up to expectations!

Jules912 · 07/04/2023 11:12

DD is lots better now, we've got the in laws staying and she's happily playing with her cousin. They're lovely but I'm glad they're leaving tomorrow as think we're both getting a bit peopled out.

openupmyeagereyes · 07/04/2023 18:24

We loved the film. I took ds’ ear defenders today and he wore them for the whole thing. How did you get on liv?

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livpotter · 07/04/2023 18:33

Glad you enjoyed it, we all though it was great open. Ds also wears his ear defenders too. Afterwards we went and had pizza in a bar across from the cinema. It's the first time ds has eaten out anywhere in about 5 years! Feels like a whole new world this holiday.

Great dd is feeling better Jules. Hope you can relax a bit after tomorrow.

openupmyeagereyes · 07/04/2023 18:46

Oooh did ds eat the pizza? How wonderful 🙌

Yes, I wished I had taken them when we went to see puss in boots as it was so loud.

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openupmyeagereyes · 07/04/2023 18:47

Ds will eat in McDonalds. That’s a big step for us. He has chicken nuggets and fries.

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dimples76 · 07/04/2023 19:33

Your cinema outings sound lovely!

We ended up at Out of hours today as DS's biting of nails and fingers has led to an infection. In addition he has 2 large bald patches at the moment. So I am feeling a bit low about the self harming and how to help him

livpotter · 07/04/2023 20:04

One whole slice open! I nearly fell off my chair.

So sorry dimples, that sounds very hard. Ds hasn't self harmed for a while but when he did it was awful. Does he have to go on antibiotics?

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