Primary School Auties 11: 2023 is here

[openupmyeagereyes]

Thread 11.

This is a thread for the parents & carers of children with additional needs. Most of us have autistic/ADHD children in primary school, but anybody is welcome to join us to chat x

Links to previous threads below.

Thread 1
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed
Thread 2
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2
Thread 3
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3
Thread 4
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3748449-Primary-school-Auties-into-2020-thread-4
Thread 5
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3953023-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-beyond-thread-5?pg=1
Thread 6
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4166833-Primary-school-auties-spring-2021-and-beyond-thread-6?pg=1
Thread 7
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4303826-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-the-new-academic-year-thread-7
Thread 8
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4422100-Primary-school-auties-step-into-Christmas-and-the-New-Year-thread-8
Thread 9
www.mumsnet.com/talk/special_needs/4502988-Primary-school-auties-thread-9-spring-summer-2022
Thread 10
www.mumsnet.com/talk/special_needs/4592899-primary-school-auties-10-summer-and-beyond-2022?page=1

Uno I commuted for years and generally speaking it was usually women who gave up their place for pregnant women and old people while the men hid behind their newspapers and pretended not to see.

Was that because it was a commuter train coming out of London as opposed to a little rickety village train do you reckon? Not excusable but I can imagine it Uno!!

Well there are no ‘commuter’ and ‘all other people’ trains or carriages, but yes an intercity train.

I thought that 'vommuter' was a new word!

When I worked in London one of my colleagues was pregnant with twins. I remember her telling me when she went on maternity leave that no one had ever given up their seat for her on the tube.

After an epic tantrum from DD potty training has started well. DS is being so supportive and encouraging to DD. Sometimes I really feel sorry for (and guilty about) DD having DS as a big brother but not today

When I was pregnant I didn’t need to use the tube much for work because of where I was based, though did if going out etc. I don’t remember having too many issues. I do remember being offered a seat once but I’d been in a meeting for hours and wanted to stand.

dimples maybe this will encourage ds?

@dimples76 good luck with it all. Nice that DS is being supportive 😀
@carriebradshawwithlessshoes it was a commuter train on a Friday morning to be fair but I commuted that route for years and don't remember it lacking in kindness that much...I haven't commuted since 2021 though and I think things have changed for the worse. I just couldn't believe that no one would move after visibly seeing them all struggle!

That’s good re training Dimples!

re trains, obviously no separate trains 🤔 but I think there’s an unfortunate disparity between people (yes often men) going to and from work into or out of a major city at work times. Of course it’s ridiculous and unfair and rude. When the DC were babies however i would have bitten my own arm off rather than get on the 7.05 Leeds to KX full of the very important work people heading to the big smoke. A couple of hours later and the people travelling were a completely different kettle of fish.

I hear what you're saying but those type of people really get to me! No matter how 'important' people think they are on commuter trains, they're no more or less entitled to that space than anyone else and shouldn't make others feel less due to their own feelings of entitlement and superiority. It just gets on my nerves, city people with jobs that are often quite meaningless, making others feel small. Why should you be made to feel unwelcome with your kids? Why should I feel bad about taking DS into an expensive restaurant for example or other spaces? Why are some spaces unofficially owned by certain groups (e.g. commuters, fine diners), pushing marginalised groups out? It's the same thing as why do people like museum staff treat me differently when I'm at an event in a suit rather than with DS in my casual clothes? I know why, it's all tied up with unconscious prejudice and bias, but it does my head in! And it's much worse in cities I find, which is most likely why I can't stand the atmospheres there after a few hours, the superficiality etc.
Sorry. Turned into a rant!!

Uno I couldn’t agree more.

Oops didn't mean to rant at the thread sorry all x

@UnoQueenie not at all. I worked in the City of London for years but I absolutely agree with you and always tried to be sympathetic to those poor people who had to contend with rush hour trains / tubes and prams etc. Last time I was in London I noticed loads of people judging a poor overwhelmed mum (or nanny, but I think mum) for giving a screen to her toddler - so many judgey sets of eyes. I tried to give them my best f* off eyes back...

Ha, Uno that’s a great rant. I agree!!!! Over inflated sense of importance? Or as someone said because they are mostly men (if they are) and don’t really get it?? or just because they are rude?

Hi all. Hope you have a peaceful half term.

Ds breaks up today. We aren’t going away anywhere, just a few local bits planned, park, McDonald’s, bike rides, cinema to see the new Mario. (We only usually do the old films that aren’t busy, often we are the only ones in there, so I’m dreading this time tbh) do kids still talk in the newer films? Bcos ds doesn’t shut up. Am I going to have loads of angry parents throwing sweets at us? 🤣

We have an Easter egg hunt on Easter Sunday. And too much iPad planned, and we will see how it goes. Hopefully not too badly.

Ds school have started sending reading books home this week, 2 years after he started 🙄 he’s on level 10. He was on level 8, 2 years ago in his old school. I don’t even do the reading schemes anymore at home he just reads his normal books and what we get from the library. (Although I’ve had to stop getting books from the library as he was ripping the pages out and eating them!)

So I read the book with him, he can read it fluently and answered all my questions about the book, so I emailed and said the above and she messaged back and said we will keep him on this level for now, but no explanation as to why. She asked me to read the same book with him 3 times and then she’ll change it. So I just said no, he will not read the same book 3 times. How boring!!!! Good way to encourage a love of reading isn’t it by boring then to death! I will sign his reading record with a book from home. His school are backwards.

Hope the holidays go well for you danni. We’re planning on going to see Mario too. The films are so loud probably nobody will notice, does yours have the big recliner seats? They are better as you’re not on top of each other.

Ds doesn’t get reading books from school but I’ve bought some sets and we still use reading chest. There are benefits to rereading the same books, as you notice different things on subsequent readings, but I appreciate not all kids want to do that. Ds is the opposite, when he likes a book he keeps wanting to reread it over and over and we’re trying to move him on.

School is improving, ds has been staying longer. Next term they should be ensuring all his interventions happen and he’s also going to have weekly play therapy so hopefully that will help his anxiety.

I hope everyone is doing ok.

I'm not really looking forward to the hols either.

DS always talks through films too but as Open says it's so loud in there I don't think it bothers anyone else. Last time we went someone had a baby with them who cried a lot during the film. I always book seats at the end of a row so that DS is only seating next to me and we can get out easily to get to the toilets. He normally says that he needs the loo at least 5 times during a film but doesn't actually do anything.

We have rather a lot planned- probably too much. I am really dreading next week as we're house/pet sitting for my Mum and sister. As I can't trust DS around animals, bathrooms or blinds and he and DD have toileting accidents (it's only been a week of potty training with DD and she is doing well) it's going to be exhausting. I should have said no, but they do so much for me and have really blown their budget with their trip to London.

The 2nd week of the hols I have booked a few nights away by a beach so I am hoping the weather isn't too bad.

DS was meant to be taking part in a Dance Festival at our local theatre today. It always seemed like a crazy plan but DS was really keen. At the weekend he said that he didn't want to do it because there would be too many people and it would be too noisy and crowded. I am really happy that he is better able to articulate how he feels and recognises these probs. He has been rehearsing all term but he seems happy about missing it. The whole school has gone to the church (that DS flooded last week). No call from school yet so hopefully all is well .....

@danni0509 the reading books do me in, honestly! DS has now got super competitive about them and wants to keep moving up! We just read books and go to the library. It makes me laugh when I'm asked if I read to him at home...yes, currently for over an hour every night! I enjoy it though and DS is trying more to read some parts. Currently on a Harry Potter reread and How to train your dragon. DS won't reread the reading books either and i agree I'd rather him read what he wants to at home and keep the love of reading going!
@openupmyeagereyes glad DS is happier and more settled at school.
@dimples76 sounds hard re: the logistics of the house sitting. We'll done to your DS for being able to say that he'd changed his mind about the show, amazing!
We are also going to the Mario film next week although it's not a relaxed showing...so we are taking ear defenders and getting there a bit later so as not have to sit through all the trailers so we will see...
I'm looking forward to the break and we don't have a huge amount planned but do have some things. DH, DS and I are taking DS to London for the first time next week. Then we have the cinema and then it's Easter so I'll do a treasure hunt at home, we're going on this train ride easter special thing, but then more of a chill out after Easter before term starts again. That's the plan anyway!
I had a day off today so got all my easter eggs hidden and enjoying a bit of a Buffy rewatch before the school run. I've started couch to 5k again too and signed up for this virtual race challenge. It's hard but I feel so positive after I run and my anxiety drops away after.

I was looking forward to the holidays, but DD is ill again. Hoping it'll pass quickly as have tickets to an expensive activity on Monday. She doesn't do being ill well but has gone to bed without much fuss.

@Jules912 hope she feels better soon.
After his bath, DS decided he wanted to do a magic show, and is now doing maths with DH. Will try to start stories soon!!

Reading books are the bane of my life too, DD hates them. Although its got a bit better now she's got to a level where the books are longer so they're only expected to read it once.
Good luck with couch to 5k. Hope everyone enjoys the new Mario film. DD is usually fairly good in the cinema ( apart from needing the loo at least twice) so long as I book the end of the row so she doesn't have to sit near anyone she doesn't know.

Hope that DD feels better soon Jules.

School stopped sending DS reading books home this term - no explanation and I haven't queried because they just kept sending the same books home over and over again and they were not age appropriate. After asking on the books section I got some books which are for children whose reading age is lower than their chronological age. We have slacked off at home recently as DS is so tired. He slept from 5-6 today

Ah I have the opposite problem, she's bringing home stuff aimed at year 4/5 which she doesn't always understand and isn't always appropriate! Though this is better than when they held her back because she struggles with inference.

dimples how did ds get on yesterday?

Jules hope dd is ok.

Uno glad running is helping the anxiety.

Ds has a slight cold, hopefully it doesn’t get any worse. We had a positive parents evening this week which was lovely. I’m hoping there won’t be too much backslide after the holidays. Dh will have the last week off. We’ll go to the seaside and do various other bits as well as some downtime at home, seeing family etc.

danni how has transport been for ds? Did he get on ok with the other child in the car?

Open so, it turns out DS didn't go to church. I don't know why - it was a service for the whole school. I haven't had a lot of feedback from school the last couple of days. DS also told me that he wants to 'quit choir'. I think something happened there on Thursday as he normally really loves it. I guess these hols will give him a chance to re-set - he is still asleep now!