Primary school auties thread 9 - spring / summer 2022.

[danni0509]

Thread 9.

Links to previous threads below.

For the parents / carers of children with additional needs, most of us have asd / adhd children in primary school, but anybody is welcome to join us to chat x

Thread 1
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed

Thread 2
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2

Thread 3
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3

Thread 4
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3748449-Primary-school-Auties-into-2020-thread-4

Thread 5
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3953023-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-beyond-thread-5?pg=1

Thread 6
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4166833-Primary-school-auties-spring-2021-and-beyond-thread-6?pg=1

Thread 7
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4303826-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-the-new-academic-year-thread-7

Thread 8
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4422100-Primary-school-auties-step-into-Christmas-and-the-New-Year-thread-8

Susan, yes this is the problem I’m having too re school… DD has another year there. And is happy. On the other hand I cannot bear going there day after day for another year. I’ve looked at options just for the year (we know where she will go for year 7) as a stop gap but that’s really unfair on her, isn’t it?? It will not be good for me tho having to see the Head every day and deal with the staff and go there every day.

re the fine, I’m just going to have to suck it up I feel. For what it is, it is what it is.

ha, just taken DS to the new school, teacher was there with another child who wanted to meet my DS, they had the same name even tho the other child was about 12 and several feet taller! DS has a very common name and apparently there are loads in the school so he is called ‘little x’. The other boy was lovely with him and gave him a hug, spoke beautifully, they walked off holding hands. DS looked really happy to have a pal.

im feeling really upset tho as at school they do certain things when it’s a child’s birthday involving assemblies etc. DD has gone this morning to participate as it’s hers on Sat. I just feel DS should have been there but he wouldn’t have cooperated and it involves speaking and so on. Just thinking how I always assumed them together in the same school doing these things. So I’m crying typing this. Someone please tell me to get a grip. DH has told me several times already to stop it! I sent him to the assembly to watch DD, I couldn’t face it.

Oh Carrie I totally get that. You are doing the best for both children. I cried at our last parents meeting at the thought of my children never being at school together- I guess that it's part of grieving for the life you expected to have.

I am pushing on with my decluttering and just dragged out a (large ikea) bag I put away ages ago with the children's baby/toddler clothes in that I felt too emotional to deal with. The good news is that I have put all but 5 items in my charity pile. The bad news is that looking at DS's little clothes set me off crying - nostalgic for those easier days.

Lovely to hear about your DS's lovely reception at his new school though.

The Tribunal decision is due any day now- any tips to stop me checking my phone every 2 mins

carrie as dimples said, it's part of the grieving process. You don't need to get a grip. I'm sure they will have nice things that they do for the dc at his new school and he will be much more able to enjoy it there.

dimples no tips but I hope the decision is soon and in your favour.

We are plodding on. The SALT has now started seeing ds, so that's something.

Anyone know of the best concealer? Asking for a friend ds school have a bad outbreak of chicken pox and of course we go on holiday at the weekend

seriously though, how fucking boring.

Ds has never had it, I’m refusing to look at him without my sunglasses on so I can’t see any spots if they arrive 😂

I’m joking on here but I was crying last night.

Be my luck for him to come out in them on holiday and we get stranded in Turkey as no one will let us fly home.

All I know is I got an email yesterday, they have had a number of children within the school (they all fucking mix too) with chicken pox and they have been sent home.

Tell me it’ll be ok 🥲

Oh no, Danni. He might still be okay. My DS came into contact with chicken pox at nursery and school many times in the past without catching it. I had decided that he must have a level of immunity until now - but given how much physical contact he has with his sister it seemed inevitable this time.

Really hope that he stays clear. What rotten timing

I was hoping to get DS back to school tomorrow but he slept for 14 hours last night so I think that it's fair to say that he is not 100% yet

Only one more sleep until part 2 of Stranger Things!

danni I hope ds stays cp free and your holiday is not spoiled.

carrie how did yesterday go for ds?

Looking forward to Stranger Things!

Time for celebrations here. My appeal was allowed and the Tribunal has ordered weekly 1:1 OT for DS. So relieved - it really shouldn't have been this hard

Fingers crossed for you @danni0509 !
Woohoo @dimples76 , huge congratulations!!

That’s great dimples! Now he has that in place do you still intend to move him to SS or do you think this may be enough??

it was fine Open… just said he had been doing Lego and story time, sounds a bit basic but suppose he’s only there a couple of hours and they are really just trying to get him settled in. He went and came out happy so fingers crossed…

That's the next battle Carrie!

That’s fantastic dimples, well done you. Will it be private or NHS?

carrie these are settling sessions so I think that’s fine. Sounds like he’s doing great if he’s staying in the classroom.

Ds has been up at 3-3:30 for the last several days. It’s such a PITA. I was looking at his melatonin leaflet yesterday and ironically it says that an uncommon side effect (1/100) is early waking! He does wake early without the melatonin too though.

Gosh that’s early Open. The more I read about melatonin and from our experience I think it often doesn’t keep them asleep (for long enough.) I think you manage very well, we couldn’t cope with that.. I’m an emotional wreck after a couple of bad nights and DH says he is really unproductive at work, we just can’t do it. In fact last time we were on a poor run I emailed the paed at around that time (3am, bet she’ thought I was a complete mad woman!!) saying we just could not cope and what could she urgently recommend? That’s when she prescribed the alimemazine at a low dose. So there is stuff out there if you are really desperate. Possibly with side effects like anything but it’s trial and error. That said some people manage fine on v little sleep and feel ok the day after for work and so on (doesn’t Boris say he only needs 5 hours or something mad?!). PM me if you need any more info on it.

no spots Danni? Hopefully not. Did you continue sending him to school? Hope he’s ok and you have a lovely break.

Unfortunately we don’t have a paed we can email, and the GP was not particularly helpful except to recommend antihistamine.

Private? Sorry we may have talked about that before it rings a vague bell! Or can GP refer you? Generally the paed serves no useful purpose… but does for this.

Yes, I think I may need to investigate a private paed, I can only imagine the waiting list for an NHS one.

I'm in the Euromillions tonight. Could solve all most of our problems!

danni when do you fly?

Reporting from our hotel in Manchester airport. Ds just in the bath. He came home covered head to toe in paint and I’m not joking we had 15 minutes to leave the house to get to the train so I had to bring him down here looking like he’d spent the morning at Neil Buchanans house. It was in his hair and eyebrows and everything.

We fly tomorrow lunch, but came the night before as no trains tomorrow.

Ds was great on the train.

They had someone take owls into school today and ds held one in each hand! Nutter. I wouldn’t dare 🤣

Danni I hope that you have a great holiday

I had to look up Neil Buchanan, a bit after my time… I hope you have a wonderful time. Keep us posted when you can.

Hi. We got here at 3 this morning, we was a bit delayed which is a pain but never mind. Ds only had like 3 hours sleep last night and 4 in the hotel in Manchester as he wouldn’t go to sleep, so he’s in an interesting mood! Lol.

We are 2 hours in front of the uk, so going for lunch soon and to the pool. If I can get ds to eat anything. He wasn’t interested at breakfast although did eat 1 square of toast with chocolate spread on.

He’s drinking plenty so that’s the main thing, and has been to the park and on the trampolines, although has been complaining it’s too warm even in the shade (it’s 38 degrees so I’m with him on that!) so just having an iPad break up in the room whilst dh has gone to sunbathe.

I’ll post when I can x

Today has been difficult. Multiple meltdowns from ds. Someone is bound to call the police/SS on us at some point. He just gets into a massive rage so quickly; aggression, threatening to kill us, calling us murderers, asking if we’re going to kill him. It’s exhausting. Always about the TV/game, and not always about having it. Half the time he just gets wound up by the game itself and it escalates because he can’t let things go. I can’t wait until bedtime today

Sorry you had such a bad day open. I hope bedtime went ok?

If it makes you feel any better we had a very emotional day here too. I think it must be because it's getting towards the end of term.

Sorry @openupmyeagereyes that sounds really rough and the early starts can't help. It's tough when they can't regulate. Hard to know what to do.

@danni0509 sounds like DS is doing well given the lack of sleep - hope he gets into a good routine and it cools down a little bit.

And congratulations on getting the OT @dimples76 !

Hope everyone else is doing OK. Just finished a big work deadline and now have 3 weeks to sort out our shit-tip of a house a bit before school holidays start 😂 Plus do some work. And get up to date on the autism course. Oops - house may have to stay largely it is ... but am at least going to move some stuff out to charity shop/recycling etc.

Thanks for the support. He has been calm today so I don't know what was going on yesterday. We did have a breakthrough on the way home from school today though, where he articulated what I've known for ages, that he does not feel safe at school because of the behaviour of other children. This is the first time he's spoken about it directly which is great, though sad of course. I need to speak to the school about it but I'm not sure what they can do tbh.