Primary school auties thread 9 - spring / summer 2022.

[danni0509]

Thread 9.

Links to previous threads below.

For the parents / carers of children with additional needs, most of us have asd / adhd children in primary school, but anybody is welcome to join us to chat x

Thread 1
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed

Thread 2
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2

Thread 3
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3

Thread 4
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3748449-Primary-school-Auties-into-2020-thread-4

Thread 5
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3953023-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-beyond-thread-5?pg=1

Thread 6
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4166833-Primary-school-auties-spring-2021-and-beyond-thread-6?pg=1

Thread 7
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4303826-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-the-new-academic-year-thread-7

Thread 8
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4422100-Primary-school-auties-step-into-Christmas-and-the-New-Year-thread-8

Know what you mean about feeling guilty Open. I have just written my opening statement re DS for the Tribunal hearing in the morning. Stressing the difficulties is not good for the soul.

It was DS's bday today which went well on whole. He woke at 04:30 - I don't know how some of you cope with your early risers/disrupted sleepers. It's so light then at this time of year though isn't it. I take DS to psychotherapy (post adoption) about 40 minutes drive from home. Got in the car at 9am within a couple of minutes he was fast asleep. He went swimming with school this afternoon and managed to swim a width without swimming aids. This is a major breakthrough for DS - when his TA told me I started welling up and he said 'uh oh Mummy's getting emotional!'

I will be so glad when tomorrow is over. I am just desperately hoping that DS can avoid chicken pox until next week.

@dimples76 good luck for tomorrow

And yes tell us about the kitten Susan. I wish we could have a pet but unfortunately neither of my DC could be trusted with them.

Sorry @dimples76 also wanted to say we done to your DS for the swimming!
Kitten is lovely but weirdly like having a newborn again for a couple of days, passing him between me and DH etc hah! DS is happy but also I think a bit jealous so we are being super careful to involve him but he has now decided he is scared of cats?? We think due to the kitten play hunting etc! Kitten us black with blue eyes, super adorable, but started pooing in corner so argh about that! He's trying to hunt my phone right now!

Belated happy birthday to your ds dimples 🎂🎈🎉
And very well done for his swimming achievement.

Susan the kitten sounds super cute.

Danni I used to put a liquid iron in orange juice for ds. He drinks so much milk that the dietician was worried about iron absorption. Ds definitely has a hugely restricted diet.

Open well done to ds for trying new things.

Good luck today dimples. How quickly do you find out the result? Sorry about the chicken pox ds had it once and dd had it twice!!

Lovely news about the kitten Susan. Hopefully the pooing in the corner will stop quickly! Sorry about the MA.

Good luck with the settling in day Carrie.

We've been busy here. Ds's school are offering swimming lessons now, first one today. I have no idea how they are going to get him in the pool. He used to love swimming then all of a sudden hated it it and refused to go anywhere near water. I have an appointment with his school OT today too which should be interesting.

GOOD LUCK DIMPLES!

carrie good luck to your ds too 🤞

Lots of good lucks, go Dimples!!

eeek just taken him, more apprehensive today. Wouldn’t let go of my hand and when I left he was coming after me… will update later.

It was fine apparently. Think they are just getting him used to the environment more at the mo… they said he was really good in the classroom, stood up to go twice but was easily redirected back to the desk! They seem quite pleased with this as say it’s a good base for next year.

BUT then bloody hell, took him back to school and he had a complete meltdown in the playground and when I got him in, the delightful Head was there, DS threw himself down on a sofa wailing, Head was asking if he had been like this all morning. I only just resisted the temptation to say he’s been fine but obviously doesn’t want to come back here!!

argh! Day off today so in the garden!

Well carrie that shows what he thinks of the place! Glad he had another good session. Are there any more?

DLA form posted. Now we wait.

Fingers crossed for you Open!! You sounded very thorough I’m sure it will come good.

yes every weds!!

Thanks carrie, I think it's a no-brainer but you never know do you. Looks like it's about a 10-11 week wait but it will be back-dated to early May.

It's great he's having so many sessions. He'll be so familiar with it by the end of July. I really hope it works out for him.

I was feeling a bit sad this morning, while ds was swimming, that it doesn't seem to be working out for us how we thought it would. I can only hope that this may mean there's a better place for him somewhere. I have yet to see the details of his class next year.

That's great that the settling in sessions are going well Carrie

Open I am sorry that this school experience has been a disappointment so far.

The hearing lasted 3 hours. I am beyond exhausted. On balance I think that it went well and I definitely think there will be improved OT provision - even if it isn't 100% of what I asked for. Honestly though what a waste of public resources- barrister, NHS OT and NHS Clinical Commissioning. It will be 2-3 weeks until I find out. The private OT (who school had commissioned) was fab and she called me afterwards to check if I was okay.

Well done open! I'm sure you will get it.

Brilliant work dimples, got everything crossed for you.

Well done dimples, the odds are in your favour. Definitely a waste of time and resources though.

Dimples we’ve said before haven’t we, if they just provided the support in the first place, long term it would probably be cheaper than taking parents to all these tribunals. As you say the effort they put in to winning the cases comes at a hefty cost.

I could perhaps understand if you wanted a school that was £££££ a year but you want a bit of OT. Ffs. Not exactly asking for the moon on a lolly stick is it 🤣 good luck with it x

carrie I’m pleased your ds has had 2 good sessions at his new school.

open I’m sure you’ll be ok regarding DLA, he goes to a special school, so I think that should tell them all they need to know! I hope he enjoyed his swimming.

Ds PA is pissing me off, taxi comes to me for 8.55am, ds gets strapped in, pa is supposed to get dropped off on my front by her previous runs taxi at 9am, it’s usually 9.04 ish by the time ds has left my street, his school is 30/35 mins away and he has to be there at 9.30am, taxi usually makes a bit of time back on the way, and he arrives on time usually, so I have no real issues overall.

PA had a period where she was being 10 to 15 mins late here and there due to over running on her first run, and I said something to her, and to taxi driver, and moaned on here. And I had to speak to ds school because it’s not acceptable to keep dropping ds off at school late due to another job.

Well she’s doing it again.

Just before half term, she got stuck in traffic coming from her other run (something had happened near her other passengers school) so ds got to school 50 minutes late. I was fucking fuming that day.

Then couple of other times since half term started again she has been getting here at 9.10am. So making ds 10 mins late.

This morning DS didn’t leave my house until 9.24am. 6 minutes to get to a school 30/35 minutes away, I think not!

I had to ring his school AGAIN. They were fine with me. But they said that’s it’s not on, as it’s a fairly regular occurrence now. And it’s not fair on ds, and it isn’t!!!

He only does 4 hours school anyway so he’s being short changed even more. God am mad.

I spoke to taxi office and they said they understand, and sometimes it happens but if it’s as regular as I say (which it is! I told them to confirm with ds driver and school if they wanted too!) then that shouldn’t be happening.

well it is, and nothing much will change, she has another boy to take to school before ds, it all has to run efficiently prior to ds for her to be on time and if her other passenger doesn’t want to go to school which has happened before then ds is left waiting, no offence to the other boy, but that’s not my ds problem,

it needs sorting because im not impressed. I never once took ds to school late in all the years I took him, so I don’t expect them too when they are being paid!!!!

danni I don't think they should be using someone who has a clashing commitment. Your ds needs to get to school on time. It's not acceptable.

Oh Danni, no wonder you're cross. It's not good enough is it.

I thought that yesterday was the stressful this week but I had a hideous afternoon at work. I don't think that I have ever been spoken to so disrespectfully by a manager before. I am thinking of phoning in sick tomorrow as I am so exhausted of having to fight all the time (today's argument was about my students who I think are being treated unfairly). I have a terrible headache and a twitchy eye and DS keeps screaming at me.

Oh dimples, I’m sorry. How horrible. I hope you can rest well tonight and not think about it.

@danni0509 I'd be furious too, so unfair on your DS.
@dimples76 what a harsh week! I hate that feeling when managers speak in that way. One of the good things about moving jobs was to get out of that. My last manager wasn't toxic but she did change her mind about stuff and then swear blind she'd said the opposite...latest one us less hands on and organisations is smaller which helps, but still I think all manager have a tendency to be inconsistent, which I try to avoid in my own line management style.
Oh to sack it all off and run a bookshop!
Kitten is well, still on his raw food diet that the breeder swears by, so that's grim but he loves it. He's jumping more and has discovered how to hunt flies...I'm getting better at catching him before he heads to his corner and popping him on the litter tray, which seems to be helping. He's so curious though, DS seems to be a bit warmer towards him, I've also bought him some slippers as toes seem to be the kitten's new fascination.
I am officially too hot! DH out so have treated myself to the Buffy musical episode and a glass of wine! Almost the weekend!

Susan I loved Buffy. Such fun.
Kitten sounds adorable.

Ds refuses to wear slippers, he just runs about our hard floors barefoot. He’s flat footed too, I think I need to speak to the GP about physio though can only imagine the waiting lists.

well done dimples with the tribunal but what a nightmare at work! Is this the guy you have mentioned before? I always assume in jobs where we are all intelligent professionals with at our age a good few years of experience behind us people don’t speak like that and there is general courteousness even when there is disagreement on something? Perhaps I’m being too optimistic there. We are such a small team if that happened and someone took issue with it very soon we would have no staff!

kitten sounds gorgeous! No one wears slippers here. I buy cute ones for the kids and they still plod around in bare feet. Open, I, DD and DS are all very flat footed? Does it have any impacts?

danni I agree that’s annoying. When is turkey?

carrie I don’t know, potentially? Collapsed arches may be an issue? It’s funny because apparently going barefoot is supposed to be good for foot development…