Primary school auties step into Christmas and the New Year - thread 8

[openupmyeagereyes]

New thread.

This is the continuation of the thread for parents / carers of autistic children / children with additional needs. Most of us are parents of children in year 1 / year 2.

Links to old threads

Thread 1 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed

Thread 2 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2

Thread 3 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3

Thread 4 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3748449-Primary-school-Auties-into-2020-thread-4

Thread 5 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3953023-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-beyond-thread-5?pg=1

Thread 6 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4166833-Primary-school-auties-spring-2021-and-beyond-thread-6?pg=1

Thread 7 -
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4303826-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-the-new-academic-year-thread-7

That is super cute danni. Does he enjoy those science facts type books?

He does like them open he has the lift the flap ones, the ones he has are the human body, all about time, one about space and I got him the dinosaur one for his birthday. I get them from Amazon, the only problem is, they cost a bit and he rips the flaps off the pages!!

That's gorgeous *Danni'!

Professionals often comment positively on DS's curiosity and it is great but exhausting 24/7. It also highlights a lot of deficiencies in my knowledge. How far is it? is DS's favourite set of questions eg to the moon, to the centre of the earth etc.

I was surprised on DS's SEN support plan that one of the targets was about asking questions. I said that the issue from my perspective was listening to the answers and responding to others' questions as he just wants to talk about his interests.

By the way I had a really good phone call with National Autism Society tribunal helpline they were great as were the education helpline (but they said I needed the more specialist support). So if any of you are struggling with EHCP issues I would recommend contacting them - I filled in an online form and then they called me about a week later.

DS's other main obsession at the moment is the human body and he keeps asking to see people's uvula! I have so far succeeded in dissuading him from carrying around a torch to help with these examinations...

That is so gorgeous @danni0509. What a sweetheart!

I would definitely go and look at the local SN school and see what they say. My cousin's daughter has a genetic microdeletion that presents in quite an autistic way (mainly kind of social and sensory differences - very different to DD: she's actually very outgoing and more of a sensory seeker rather than a sensory avoider like DD). Anyway, she goes to a special school near Bath that has a very wide range of needs including some kids with serious physical disabilities etc. and she seems to really enjoy it and do well there even though I get the impression she is more academically and physically "able" than most of the others: but because it's a nice calm place that meets her needs she can do her best there.

Especially given your DS has so much natural curiosity, so it should be like pushing on an open door to get him to learn if he's in the right environment? Although I realise the second bit is not at all easy!

P.S. @danni0509 have you tried World of Books? They sell mainly second hand books and we've found them all to be in really good condition - and generally at least 30% cheaper than new from Amazon. I like these "See Inside" ones. We use WOB a lot (even for gifts for our own kids - they don't seem bothered at all if stuff is not new, and I like it from an environmental perspective and a giving less money to Amazon perspective!)
www.wob.com/en-gb/category/all?search=see%20inside%20books&so=price_asc&pt=book

light ive used world of books before a few times now, we got ds write back to the start books off there. (New and a lot cheaper than elsewhere!)

Ds was taken out to the taxi after lunch by 2 members of staff, 2 always take him out, 1 on each arm, that’s actually written in his ehcp that 2 must always take him when not inside the locked school area for safety purposes. They walk him over to the taxi and PA and once he’s strapped in the staff go back inside, ds got to the taxi door today, decided to bolt really fast away and someone was parked at the school gate for whatever reason and ds opened the car door and jumped into the front! Slammed the car door laughing his head off. Inside a strangers car!

His staff were all flustered and had to get him and carry him back to the taxi.

I’m not happy at all, yes it’s ds fault for doing it, but honestly anything could of happened. I have been to the school before and it’s all locked, it’s secure once they are through the gate, but the car park is obviously open for the cars to get in and out. I’m not blaming school (they do have 2 taking him out) but 4 people were in that car park today with him and he still manages to get away. What about if he got on to the road outside of school, it’s so busy!

I’m going to have to email his teacher..

There’s a barrier for the cars but obviously doesn’t stop an 8 year old legging it passed…

Something similar happened before, he ran away and got through a gap in the railings.

Just don’t know what the answer is. The way ds school is, the car park is open. The taxi already park as close to the building so less chance for him to be able to get away.

Oh that's stressful Danni. I am surprised that the whole site is not more secure. It sounds like the 2 members of staff might have relaxed a bit too soon if they didn't react quickly enough to the bolt. DS has no road safety so I am always on high alert when we are out and about. I have lost count of the number of times that I have had to grab him but fortunately he does not run away very often any more. Have you spoken to the teacher?

What would annoy me about that incident is not so much that they didn’t have DS in an armlock as isn’t it the case that the big sell of SSs is that they are supposed to teach independence skills and so on to children???! When I spoke with the school who has offered DS a place they placed more emphasis on this than anything. Which is great because the current setting would just say ‘DS ran off and did x.’ The SS say DS would not run off and do x because we would teach him not to and why it isn’t safe to.

Of course they may be talking bollocks and time would tell but that’s what I would hope to get out of any SS. Not just a babysitter but someone who actually teaches him these life skills. Not academics that can be parked for now but other things exactly like this.

Do you feel they do that danni and if not why?? I don’t think the fault can be with DS but rather them if not!

And am I being naive in thinking that a SS can actually teach DS things like this (why not to run off) when they say they can?!

I know they each have his arm (you have to, or his hand) they walk him to the taxi and the driver gets him in and does his harness up, then the staff go inside, except today he never quite made it to the driver, not really sure about how it happened, just quick run down what the taxi told me.

It has happened before him legging it, but not getting into somebody’s car! They probably think it’s par for the course with ds as he does run away, but I’m not very happy as I say, he’d embarrass usain bolt in a race. Lol. No chance they would catch him if it was immediate danger, car or whatever. The school inside he’s safe, it’s all high metal gates / fences and the teachers have fobs to all doors so they can’t do a runner anywhere far inside the building, it’s what happens getting them into the transport on the car park that’s the problem, that’s why they give him 2 members of staff to get him to the taxi because he can’t be trusted, but it’s obviously failed on 2 occasions now! I do know he breaks free from your grip he does it to me, but I am like a ninja and have him before he can get anywhere. The one time he ran and I didn’t grab him in time, I screamed DS SNAKE and he absolutely shit himself and froze! Enough chance for me to safely get him. Thank god I thought of that or god only knows what would of happened.

Not heard anything from his teacher.

Ds is saying he has tummy ache and he’s not going to school tomorrow. He does look poorly to be fair… I’ll see how he is tomorrow but i deffo want to speak to his teacher about this car park business bcos it stresses me.

The driver said today, they at one point used to have somebody on the barrier gate also, and they’d all go in once the taxi drove off. So 3 of them in total.

So I’ll tell them that’s what needs to happen ASAP!

They stopped it when ds hadn’t bolted for a while but of course, just because it hasn’t happened for a while doesn’t mean it will never happen again.

I don’t know carrie, I think these things often just take more emotional maturity. I’m sure danni has been trying to teach her ds not to run off for years. Do SS teachers have techniques we’re not privy to?

danni that must have been so scary. I’d be asking them to tell you what they are doing to ensure it doesn’t happen again

carrie if only 😅

open how did school go today?

I’m genuinely hoping/ trusting a SS has lots of strategies that I/ MS aren’t privy to!! But I may be kidding myself!

Not just safety things but general independence/ life skills, there seems a huge emphasis on this. Things that yes I’ve tried and failed with for years Open.

Danni shouting DS snake was inspired! I hope that they can reassure you tomorrow that extra measures are in place. Hope DS feel better too

Well carrie they deffo do teach independence, too much for my liking! They sent me a photo of ds putting a pizza in the oven with an oven glove on ! 🤣 I nearly had a flaming heart attack. There was a member of staff beside him but he’s putting in the oven all by himself. I thought aw they must be letting him put it in whilst the oven is still cold, just turned on so not hot kind of thing, then I spotted the oven glove!

When they get older they teach them to mow the grass and bits like that. They took the 16 year olds to London for 4 days before coronavirus, I read it on one of the old newsletters. They are quite hot on independence, which isn’t a bad thing.

Not so sure on strategies for behaviour, it’s all what’s available online to read, they use certain programmes and it’s things I’ve read before, they do reward charts and things like that, I don’t necessarily think it’s anything magic. Well certainly hasn’t been for ds and he’s been there almost a year now.

I suppose they can only lead a horse to water though with whatever they are trying, yes ds im looking at you

The older kids make toast and cups of tea aswell and they also run a snack shop where they serve the younger kids, ds has to take money on a Friday and the older kids serve him.

Maybe the oven glove was for illustrative purposes danni???? 🤣🤣🤣. Dinner sorted for you and DH then….🤣🤣.

We are on dimples timetable for hols, W/c 21st for us

I think schools do aim to teach independence and practical skills, but I don't think they have many magic techniques, it's probably doing it regularly and in a controlled way. Perhaps in a way we're less able to do at home but perhaps could if we thought about it and were willing to be consistent in the approach.

Good to know ds is learning how to cook danni, does he eat pizza? I am not quite sure how ds will take to their weekly cooking lesson since he refuses to eat almost every food! I told the teacher I will be impressed if they can get him to eat something new.

Ds had a good session at school today. He spent time in the classroom without me and did PE too. I think this was his longest session since the first afternoon (the day before he refused to go in). It's nice to end the half term on a high; he's been in for some time, at least, every day the last two and a half weeks.

He's been waking earlier again. Yesterday he was up at 3am and then today woke at 2.40 but stayed in bed and actually went back to sleep after about 40 minutes until after 5.30 which was a relief.

It's also been a relief to me, being in at times other than lunch which seems rather chaotic. The school is very calm at other times of the day, though obviously still some issues being managed at various points.