Primary school auties step into Christmas and the New Year - thread 8

[openupmyeagereyes]

New thread.

This is the continuation of the thread for parents / carers of autistic children / children with additional needs. Most of us are parents of children in year 1 / year 2.

Links to old threads

Thread 1 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed

Thread 2 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2

Thread 3 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3

Thread 4 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3748449-Primary-school-Auties-into-2020-thread-4

Thread 5 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3953023-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-beyond-thread-5?pg=1

Thread 6 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4166833-Primary-school-auties-spring-2021-and-beyond-thread-6?pg=1

Thread 7 -
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4303826-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-the-new-academic-year-thread-7

@openupmyeagereyes don't worry, I didn't think you can across as disapproving or anything like that! I think it can just be quite different in SS, with different children following slightly different timetables, and some children having interventions like therapies etc and conversation skulls classes, so it looks like children are coming and going more than a Ms class. Usually if a child gets v upset, the staff let them choose an activity to calm down and support them (e.g. go for a walk, so a ta will go with them) but I know there's one child who finds it hard to leave an area once upset, so all the class left the room the other day to do an impromptu sensory room trip! It is different though but I think your DH is right too. DS was getting very grumpy at one child who kept throwing things. So we chatted about how he used to struggle with that and now he could see it from another perspective, it was good for him to see that, and also that there are other children who struggle with certain things like him. One girl uses a wheelchair sometimes as well, which surprised him, so we chatted about it.

Skills classes, obv. Although skulls classes does sound interesting!

Just down from bedtime after DS insisted on reading ALL his new library books tonight (my voice!!). It's great to see him getting so unto stories though, hus reading is really coming along now he's got good stories to read (he got so bored of the phonics readers I think!)

Ds has been reading a mix of his own story books and readers, it’s good to mix it up.

Back to the fray tomorrow… I hope everyone has had a good weekend.

Is everyone coming up to half term? DD said this morning "I just feel I don't want to go to school today, not for any reason but I'm just tired". She's never really not wanted to go to school before. I do worry in case it means the new school is not a good fit - though it has also been a very intense half term for her with having Covid and then that very crazy week when she got back with too much going on. Ah well. Hopefully we can have a very chill half term...

Yes half term for us on Friday dimples. Sorry dd is not feeling it today. It has been pretty hectic for you guys.

Dd went back to school today. I've got ds home until half term as I agreed with the school that it wasn't really right to send him in without being able to test him properly. He is obviously thrilled!

How's school going this week open?

That's lovely that ds loves reading so much magrat. Ds can clearly read but refuses to at home.

Hope you're having a better week danni.

Sorry meant light not dimples, although obviously hope you are ok too!

Yes Light, we're off next week. Looking forward to it tbh even though I'm sure it won't help the going-to-school situation. We're still going in lunchtimes but he's not particularly keen and refuses to stay once playtime has finished. Communication in various areas is also not great at the moment.

Hopefully all dd needs is a break to recharge.

Hope everyone is ok. Ds breaks up Friday too.

Had a moany email off school again yesterday, his 1-1 said in her email that his class teacher is going to ring me again this week for a catch up, we had one on Friday. A 20 minute one, so why he needs to ring me again this week I don’t know! Always when he wants his medication increasing does he do this. I don’t hear from him for weeks, then twice in one week! Well, I’m not increasing his medication and I doubt CAMHS will be happy to either, so, that’s that. And actually little do they know I halved ds medication this week! (Just until Friday to see if he gets on any better, yesterday wasn’t great at school though so don’t really know what the end result will be) instead of him having a full tablet in the morning ive been crushing half. Dosage at school has stayed the same.

open you don’t sound very impressed regarding new school? I must admit I’m not with ds school, I find them quite unprofessional, it’s very different to a mainstream school, do you find that? We call the teachers by their first name here, I find that quite odd. Other things like if I email his school, they will sometimes ignore me, usually when I’m asking about his hours! very different to his old school in that respect, his old school would never ignore me! Also they discuss personal information with the taxi and I’ve made comments on this before, like why are they discussing this with you? And I’ve mentioned to his class teacher not to do that, why does a taxi need to know he’s smeared pooh at school? They tell her in front of him. Yesterday his class teacher was talking about an up and coming CAMHS appointment for ds with the taxi. She is just a driver?! Why does she need to know he has an appointment coming up? She doesn’t take him! She literally just drives him to and from school. I find it all very odd.

Other bits with the school that don’t quite sit right with me either…..

liv sorry, I didn't see your post earlier. Ds is living the dream at home this week then! Are you trying to do any home learning?

danni in truth I don't think I'm being very fair. It's new to everyone, staff and pupils, and things are still settling down. I think I need to try and be more relaxed about it. We had a slightly better time today and I've spoken to his teacher about trying to come in for some different sessions for the rest of this week and after half term. Dh thinks we have to accept it's going to take a long time. There seem to be a lot of kids not yet in full time so ds is not the only one.

Ds has done more drawing in the last few days than he's done collectively in his whole life! We've been making little books with pictures of the video game that he's obsessed with - follow his interests and all that. Normally he wouldn't be interested but he has been these last few days which is great

The school did offer to send some home learning but I declined. It's really hard to get ds to do anything at home and although he loves not being at school he's quite stressed about not being allowed out at all. He's quite loud, shouty and repetitive, which are anxiety signs for him.

I imagine it must be incredibly difficult to start a SEN school from scratch open. Although ds's school is new it was a series of satellite schools before, so the staff and some of the kids were all being taken care of by the head before moving to the new building. It's good that he's going in though.

Danni I wouldn't be happy with the taxi being told all that information and also in front of you ds is unkind. Can they not do a home/school book for you, then at least ds has a bit of privacy.

liv they email me nearly every day, they used to do a communication book before ds started but scrapped it for emails due to COVID.

What they tell the taxi isn’t for my purpose, its opportunity for them to moan! That’s what I mean when I say they are unprofessional. The taxi collects him and says, did you have a good morning ds? And then whoever has taken him out will say x y or z. Then they add in personal bits as the taxi tells me what’s been said, half of which doesn’t even get mentioned on my email in the afternoon so she’s finding out info they don’t even bother to tell the parent!

Weirdos!

That is really unprofessional danni!

That is not appropriate is it Danni.

DS's half term is a week later than all of yours.

We saw the paediatrician this morning and having seen my recordings and descriptions is sure DS is having absence seizures so has booked him for an EEG.

I also finally had a meeting with DS's teacher and TA (this is Autumn parents evening!) DS is behaving v well in class but I think that the gap just seems to be getting wider and wider and he is spending more time out of class, e.g. He is having maths with 1 other child delivered outside of the classroom by his 1:1, not taking part in some of the science/geography/history sessions as he does not seem able to understand /engage at all. I think school is doing a good job of supporting him but I think it probably is time to move him on. When I said that his 1:1 looked like she was going to cry. Then when his teacher asked about DD I did cry. DS would be so ridiculously proud and excited to introduce DD to his school (she is due to start when he goes into year 5). But that is obviously not a reason to keep him in the wrong environment.

Our big news is that at 8 years 7 months DS has finally lost his first milk tooth. On our last visit to the dentists, the dentist had suggested that he might not have adult teeth so I don't know who was more excited DS or me. Now to remember to do the tooth fairy!

Ahh exciting for DS dimples! DD only lost her first ones just before Christmas (so I guess 7 years 6 months ish, which still felt quite late compared to her peers!) I wonder if it's an autism thing?!?! That would be weird but who knows? Probably just coincidence. How did he take to it - not too freaked out?

DD seemed fine with losing hers, though she wouldn't let the tooth fairy take them. Having said that, she's lost 4 and we've actually lost 2 of those (one down the sink and one that she ate ). I have no idea where the other 2 are. I'll find them squirrelled away at some point . Well, in the end they are her teeth to do with what she wants I guess!

Light on Monday he apparently did very little work all day at school as he was either playing with or talking about his tooth. It came out about 12 hours after it first started wobbling. I had worried that he might be distressed by it. He was so excited this morning when he found the coin l under his pillow.

DS had a bone age x-ray in November and his bone age was 5 years 3 months so I guess that all fits together that he would lose his teeth later too.

dimples so exciting for ds

danni it is completely unprofessional of the school. The only thing they should be telling the taxi team is anything that pertains to the journey home - i.e. if he's currently in a difficult mood, been unwell or whatever.

We went into school for the first session this morning and it went pretty well. After 45 minutes he was ready to go but he was more interested in what was going on which is good progress.

@danni0509 that is not on is it, telling the taxi so much!
@dimples76 aww lovely! DS was quite weird about his teeth coming out until he found out about the tooth fairy and presents!
@openupmyeagereyes glad it's still going well.

open ds teacher said something to me once, it was something along the lines of…

All children with additional needs need drip feeding information / new experiences, but some need it much slower than others, he said for example my ds would need drips every few minutes opposed to his peers needing drips every few seconds. If he put ds tap on at the same rate as the other children’s ds wouldn’t let him turn the tap on again.

So I think that sounds similar to your ds with regards to school.

(In my head it makes sense anyway!) 🤣

It was worded something like that anyway! Lol

How sweet dimples I’ve caught ds trying to wobble his adult teeth out for coins before now! He loves the tooth fairy!

How cute is it when they are innocent enough to believe these made up stories.

I got my sister to ring ds on his last tooth, I changed her name to tooth fairy in my phone and she called, she put on a voice and spoke to him about his teeth, the pure enjoyment on his face and he believed every word 😍 he wanted to know what number her house was,
Where she kept the teeth, how many she had. Etc etc. She did a cracking job fooling him! 😂

It was incredibly cute. I am never sure how to answer his v detailed questions about things like the tooth fairy and it makes me feel a bit guilty - unfortunately saying it's magic does not cut it with DS.

Glad to hear that their is progress with school Open.

I have just emailed the local special school (only a mile from my house) to see if we can arrange a visit. They have children 3-18 but I think that DS may be too academically able to attend - not that he is able but they mostly specialise in learning disabilities. I guess I just need to talk to them.

dimples it's worth talking to them, you may find they have a mix of children.

danni that's brilliant, well done to your sister. And the teacher's comments do make sense. I just hope that with time he can get comfortable being there all day. It scares me when I think about the fact that he's mostly been out of school for the best part of two years. We had a brief period after Easter when he was in full time, but aside from that we've either been in lockdown, in part time or not in at all.

dimples ds is the same, very inquisitive! The curiosity was cute to begin with but it’s exhausting answering his questions! A simple answer doesn’t cut it for ds either. He has a full blown tantrum if I say ‘I don’t know’ I have to make an answer up.

He wants to know things like how many seconds are in 24 hours, he had his teacher working it out on a calculator, then he wants to know how many seconds until his next birthday, how many seconds has he been alive. How many seconds have I been alive. How many seconds until I die? How many streets away is his school? (20 miles away mate! No idea, 600? I told him to count on the way to school 🤣) how many toothbrushes are there on earth? How is my mum his nanna? How many weeks until this piece of bread goes mouldy, how many bubbles come out of a bubble machine? etc etc etc.

He goes on and on and on. I swear to god, he must ask me 500 questions a day. He does the same to his taxi there and back and his school teachers.

His teacher said he is the most inquisitive child he’s had in his class! Which I translated to he never shuts his face 😅

I got an email this afternoon. Ds did an activity this morning for child mental health week, they had to write down something that made them happy, ds wrote ‘mummy’ and his 1-1 asked him why and he said because she loves me and I love her too. How freaking sweet is that!!!