Primary school auties: summer and the new academic year - thread 7

[openupmyeagereyes]

New thread.

This is the continuation of the thread for parents / carers of autistic children / children with additional needs. Most of us are parents of children in year 1 / year 2.

Links to old threads

Thread 1 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed

Thread 2 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2

Thread 3 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3

Thread 4 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3748449-Primary-school-Auties-into-2020-thread-4

Thread 5 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3953023-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-beyond-thread-5?pg=1

Thread 6 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4166833-Primary-school-auties-spring-2021-and-beyond-thread-6?pg=1

I was thinking more Magrat about school giving DS a choice of what he would like to do interspersed with work (if I understood it correctly). I guess fun things interspersing work which I guess is what all kids have even if it’s just work then playtime!! I know DSs OT will set a timer for things then he gets an activity of his choice. That type of thing.

I do think follow their interests is the golden nugget…..

The DS choice technique is more to give control to DS to lessen anxiety.

Ds is definitely affected by the environment so, yes, hopefully the difference will help if we can get him there. Regarding the book, he's fine with it when he just sits down to do it (last week he did it with v little fuss) and it has a great range of short activities covering a whole range of subjects. Ultimately he needs to be able to engage with some sort of formal work. I have a whole host of books, manipulatives and other equipment but he can be equally fussy with those. Unfortunately he has never enjoyed arts and craft type activities. I would love to do stuff like that with him but he's either not interested at all or will only do a small amount. He knows the deal is that when he does his work he gets to watch the TV when it's after the time he would be picked up from school. Some days he's ok with this, others he isn't.

As you say, hopefully time and maturity will bring about a change in attitude

carrie what did you tell the LA re school?

I do think follow their interests is the golden nugget

This is easier when their interest is something that lends itself to learning, like dinosaurs or bugs or space. Less so when it’s a video game or YouTube videos about said game. Or elf on the shelf!

Ds woke up wet at 3am so of course we are up 😴

That is an early start open! I agree it's tricky with the special interests. I'm not sure whether being able to name every Marvel character will ever come in handy for ds in later life! But it is lovely to see how excited he gets about it.

What did I tell the LA…, well I waffled Open. In all honesty for DS what do I need? A smaller class (currently 31 kids.) A teacher / assistant who understands severe speech / communication difficulties and has the time, patience and experience to help DS communicate (and who doesn’t give up/ criticise him if he doesn’t initially get it/ gets frustrated/ acts out.) a teacher/ teaching assistant who really sees his potential and who knows how to bring that out.

There’s something else that stuck in my mind… after the recent carol vorderman interview I found an interview with the head of the London private school her son attended. He spoke very well but said ‘children will always do better when they are on a level playing field with their peers.’ I actually think we all do better in environments where we feel equal to our friends/ colleagues/ partners, don’t we? That made me think what a huge discrepancy there is between DS and his peers and how that in itself may well not be conducive to his development/ happiness at the moment.

The difficulty I have is the discrepancy between his communication skills and other stuff. I recorded and sent the senco a video of him on Sunday completing various maths sums (additions, subtractions and multiplications) that I had written out on a white board (couldn’t help myself). Very competently, very accurately.

Amazingly he apparently did a full day of work yesterday at school tho didn’t want to go this morning so I’m holding out no hope for today.

Sorry about the early start Open, that’s really early. What would you say to the LA question? What would you all say (I’m interested!!) ☺️

carrie much the same I think. Hopefully that's what we've got, though I appreciate that we have the autism dx which means that we can access autism specific schools that may not be appropriate for your ds. Have you looked at all the schools in your county/within a decent radius?

Ds refused to get out of the car at school again today. He also refused to do any work, preferring not to have any television before we left for play therapy this afternoon. He's watching now for a while before dinner. He's stubborn as a mule when he is set on something.

We had a lovely play date with our friends yesterday. He is so good at leaving when it's time to go now, in the past that would have been massively difficult for him when he's enjoying himself.

A bit wet and windy here. I hope no one is suffering too much with the storm.

Eeek we are being blown away!!!!

I have yes re schools. The LA chap said he felt really a 30/35 min drive max was enough for DS at his age so yes, we looked. Not a huge total and no asd specific ones (even if we had a diagnosis.)

Out of interest the asd ones that we are talking about, do they require things like fully toilet trained, ‘verbally skilled’ (our nearest asd one 50 mins away.) that one also said a ‘desire to achieve and succeed etc etc.’ The asd ones I’m aware of all seem to want to cater for the v bright, v verbal, v not delayed in things like toileting which are a pain for school… so even if DS had a diagnosis he would not fit the bill there (re speech and toilet).

Play date sounds fab open.

Well if ds' new school wants kids who have a desire to achieve and succeed then that will rule ds out, so I hope not! It's so hard for many trying to find an appropriate place. Just remember that any decision that you make is not set in stone and that it is fairly easy to move back to ms from specialist if it's more appropriate later, compared to vice versa.

Ds has had his medication at school for the past 2 days, they have given him it in ribena they have in the staff room and he’s drunk it, so that’s good. Not sure if it will continue but I’ll take it whilst it lasts. He was refusing it every day before that.

He hasn’t been allowed swimming in the hydrotherapy pool because he doesn’t listen or get out of the pool and puts all the other class sessions back, plus they had an incident were ds nearly broke the hoist in there and then he runs around on the wet floor etc so his teacher said it’s not safe, so unfortunately he’s only been allowed in twice since may (and not for the last 3 months at all) they have then had to have the pool ‘fixed’ which has been the excuse for weeks, but the newsletter dropped them in it a couple of weeks back and I’ve not been happy about this as it’s supposed to be a weekly session and all the other children go every week. So I said to his teacher what’s going on with ds and swimming, he said they were coming up with a plan and would let me know.

His teacher has emailed me this morning and said the first Thursday back after Xmas ds has a slot booked just for him for 12 o clock (and he’ll be home 30 minutes later every Thursday because of it, even though that should be every day, if Thursdays are ok!) and that they need 3 members of staff for ds for his swim session so he can access it safely and get him out etc.

So least he can go for his swimming lesson weekly in the new year.

He had a really good day at school yesterday they said his best day yet, today’s been mixed after a couple of incidences towards the end of the morning. But he’s been spending a lot more time with the other children, yesterday he was with the same 2 boys for 3 hours, they visited the sensory room together and played connect 4 and ate lunch together etc.

danni sounds like things are moving slowly in the right direction. Great that he had the best day yesterday.

I’m sitting in the car while ds sleeps. He’s exhausted as he keeps waking at 3:30. No school today either, natch.

dimples hope you’re all covid free.

Sort of Open. We are all ill with coughs but all testing negative for covid. Meanwhile at DS's school after his TA testing positive on Friday all the other year 3 teaching staff and 15 children tested positive.

Day 4 of staying at home and I'm struggling. We put the tree up earlier and DS pushed DD into the tree. Trying to work, look after the house and keep some semblance of order is not going well. My neighbour popped around earlier to say that my roof appears damaged this morning - I could have cried.

Oh no, dimples, I’m sorry. Are you isolating anyway?

Ds and I are getting tested in the morning. Someone in the class has tested positive and though ds hasn’t been there since last Wed I thought we ought to test anyway.

I’m dreading the thought of getting covid again this Christmas.

Sort of isolating - it's more that DD is not well enough for nursery and DS is a little bit unwell but given the covid cases and his teacher and TAs absence school does not seem like the best place for him to be. Going to try to get us out on a little walk tomorrow.

Took DS for PCRs on Friday and Monday and he was amazingly compliant. I think that it has clicked that it's not uncomfortable for him and I give him a can of Pepsi Max as a reward!

Hope that the test goes well. He would be v unlucky to catch it with so little contact.

Yes he would. TA has been coming out to the car to try and persuade him in so if she has it then there’s a chance there. I did a LF test tonight which was -ve but will have to keep checking. School want daily LF tests but I can’t see ds doing that.

Great that your ds has been a star with the tests. I haven’t told ds we’re going. Will save that for tomorrow…

And that is a massive number to get it in his class!

That is huge! Fingers crossed you stay clear so you can have a "normal" Christmas at least (whatever constitutes "normal" these days!!)

Fingers crossed for the Covid tests!!! 15 is high!

New thread

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4422100-Primary-school-auties-step-into-Christmas-and-the-New-Year-thread-8