Primary school auties: summer and the new academic year - thread 7

[openupmyeagereyes]

New thread.

This is the continuation of the thread for parents / carers of autistic children / children with additional needs. Most of us are parents of children in year 1 / year 2.

Links to old threads

Thread 1 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed

Thread 2 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2

Thread 3 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3

Thread 4 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3748449-Primary-school-Auties-into-2020-thread-4

Thread 5 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3953023-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-beyond-thread-5?pg=1

Thread 6 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4166833-Primary-school-auties-spring-2021-and-beyond-thread-6?pg=1

Good start to the day Open!! Grr re bloody men being ill, I know man flu is a cliche but so true! I’ve no patience.

DH calls me in icy tones ‘Florence nightingale’ in these circumstances. But honestly he would try the patience of a saint.

Carrie my Dh is also a fanny when he’s ill, when he had covid he was utterly ridiculous. I don’t mind poorly children being dramatic they don’t know otherwise but fully grown men I draw a line at. Sorry I’m unsympathetic. I have to get on with it. Why shouldn’t he. 😂

I hope the SS going in today goes ok open.

Hope dd is better soon dimples. Awful age for continuous bugs!

Apparently it went well. There is a boy in year 6 also moving there so ds was able to meet him too which is nice as, even though they will be in different classes, at least he knows he's not the only child moving there.

Pleased it went well open.

Can I just ask your opinions on something? I’m going to make a complaint regardless as I’ve had enough now.

Do you think this is professional behaviour from a member of staff (in a special school) not a dinner lady, this is ds’ 1-1.

Today ds was eating his lunch and the girl (same one we are have daily issues with) was half way through her chocolate bar and ds takes it out of her hand and puts the lot in his mouth (not great ds!!) so his 1-1 grabbed ds lunch bag took his unopened Kit Kat out and opened it and gave it all to the girl and said no ds you ate hers (half of hers) she’s having yours (full one)

He’s been kicking off all day about it.

Can you just tell me if you would think this is unprofessional from a teaching assistant, trying to get even with a child that has the social development of a 2 year old. Who doesn’t really know any better.

It’s not going to teach him anything, he doesn’t learn by bloody consequence.

Thanks x

Taxi said teacher is going to email you he’s had a really bad morning but they didn’t tell the taxi what.

Anyway not heard anything yet. So sick of it all with them.

If it’s relevant this is the same ‘teaching assistant’ who makes Leary comments a lot of the time and unfortunately the same teaching assistant who is with ds as his 1-1.

(His old schools 1-1’s were so lovely)

This one seems like a witch.

Can absolutely guarantee you though, if it was visa versa and she’d of done that to ds they wouldn’t of taken her chocolate bar for ds.

Like he pisses her off getting in her personal space (all the kids have to stay away from her ffs) so because he goes near her he’s the one out of the classroom not her, they only seem to be bothered about her not ds.

Ds teacher said the other day, she’s been being unusually kind to him lately and waving at him.

‘Unusually’ kind. Wtf. The teacher seemed so pleased with her

They’ve written something in ds ehcp about him winding a particular student up (the girl) and the way it’s been phrased, they’ve placed the full blame on ds.

None of the children are allowed in her space or she kicks off, ds doesn’t understand boundaries so he’s going in her space, getting smacked (perfect reaction ds wants) therefore fuelling him.

But…. they remove ds from the class, not the pupil all the kids have to stand on eggshells around And fear for their life if they get too close to her.

The solution is removing ds because the others know not to go near her.

Not having it!!

Omg @danni0509 that is so totally out of order of the ta. What is wrong with some people.

Thanks magrat, I have a habit of overreacting 🤣 so just wanted to check other parents views. I don’t want to go in all guns blazing over something minor.

Ps I know ds is far from a saint!! It’s not a case of me being all ‘precious ds’ I just don’t find a lot they do or say is very professional. It’s a school fgs.

It’s something I would expect a family member to do if ds stole another child’s chocolate (and even that would be at a push because I don’t think any of my family would do that especially knowing his needs!)

But I don’t expect that behaviour from school staff whatsoever.

Danni I would think at the very least they should not be giving other children food out of ds's bag simply because of food allergies/intolerances. I would be annoyed if someone did that to ds because it would set him up for failure for the rest of the day. Also surely it is their job to supervise him so that he can't take someone else's food in the first place?

I would think there would have been many ways to handle that situation more appropriately.

Open I'm glad the school visit went well!

Yes it did set him off, he’s still going on now.

I can think of a few different ways they could of handled it, even if she had sent his chocolate bar back in his lunch bag with a little note or something to say we didn’t give him it today because of x then fine, but to take it and to give it away right in front of him, I think is cruel. He doesn’t understand that and I think if she’s trying to teach him a consequence of his actions she’s doing it the wrong way, because tomorrow when he does it again she’ll realise actually that’s not how he learns! Its really not what i expect from a so called ‘specialist’

And yes she’s his 1-1, so she’s shite at her job if he’s managing to steal all the kids lunch from under her nose.

Did DS tell you what happened Danni? Yes I’d complain but I would not go in with all the facts that you know, i would really put them on the spot. Ask if there was an incident with lunch and if so can they tell you what happened and why. If they were evasive I’d drip feed what you know then ask what they would think is an appropriate way to deal. Then what did they do?? They will be tripping over themselves in no time.

That’s good Open!!

We survived the blood test thankfully and managed tea out. He missed the panto (I talked about earlier) so I’ve booked me and him seats fri!!! My heart is in my mouth but we are front row end seats (escape route). If we have to leave it will be cos he’s bored not upset but at least we can get out, easily!! He will have to miss school but I couldn’t give a damn.

Mad question… do any of your DC wear glasses?? I’m becoming increasingly concerned DS can’t see…. Constant squinting at the TV etc. I’m v v shortsighted as is DH. Need to check it out though I doubt he will keep them on (I wear contacts). Always something! Unless the squinting is just a habit, it’s so hard to know when I can’t ask him. Apparently tho an optician can tell without verbal questions.

That does sound a rather aggressive response to the chocolate taking Danni. I agree with Liv saying he could not eat his chocolate then would be fairer.

Good news on the school visit Open

Carrie the reason I liked the OT session so much was that it was v hands on for me. I don't understand why you are excluded - the main focus of our sessions is learning exercises/techniques that we practice at home. This week we built a castle with cushions, mats etc then took it in turns to attack or defend whoever was in the castle using bean bags. So lots of heavy work, ducking and diving and throwing. DS and I both really enjoyed it - he told me he loved me on the way back to the car which is a rarity. Now I need to try and think about how to do it at home with DD there as well.

Waiting on PCR test result for DD...

Carrie my DS wears glasses - v good at school at home they get thrown off and I have lost count of the number of replacements we have had. The owner of the opticians has an autistic child and he has all sorts of tricks and gadgets for SN kids. Hope that you have someone like that nearby

Ds has been awake since 3:40 and he’s still not asleep!

Oh no Open… is he off yet??

Thanks Dimples. DSs OT has always said I would be a distraction, I understand that play/ games is something that lends itself to parents being there but perhaps surprisingly a lot of what his OT seems to do is not physical/ games primarily. So for eg she would get him to crawl through a tube but then do some sort of matching exercise at the end then crawl back, I don’t know perhaps matching a sock to a picture of a foot or following some instructions which for him were quite complex. She also has lately taken it on herself to try and introduce some kind of AAC (with limited success). Because these things all take a degree of concentration/ thought from DS who has the focus of a gnat I kind of see how me being present may distract. We have a glass door separating the room she works in and the next and I’ve spent hours peeping through but if DS even so much as caught my eye he would run up to the glass larking, laughing etc. However I measure success of any therapy as input v output and DSs output from her input has been really zero!

Ps not sure if anyone is watching the paddy mcguiness documentary currently on about his 3 children with autism all doing well in mainstream. I know it’s not ‘one size fits all’ but I forever wonder if we have missed a trick, wrong school, wrong interventions, not enough £££ thrown at therapies, not had the ‘best’ experts involved and so on. I will watch on catchup but they seem to have a fair amount of issues yet are thriving in MS.

I’m excited to see it on catch up. I imagine that being wealthy helps enormously. From being able to find and employ experienced nannies to paying for therapy and private school. Christine is an ambassador for the Cauldwell charity for instance. Kids are all just different too. There are probably plenty of celebs with autistic dc in special schools too.

Carrie, ds sees a sensory OT once a term in school (to review & set new targets) this is a recent thing and I don’t know why he hasn’t seen one in the past, he’s very sensory, ds school have paid at my request for an assessment, but they are asking my LA to fund the cost and have made it clear it’s not something they will continue pay for going forwards.

Things off ds report she has instructed school to do.

Twice daily visits to the sensory room, 10-15 minute per session. Immediately following the sensory room trip ds is to enter the main classroom and complete 15 minutes of work.

She wants him to go on the zip wire daily (I wasn’t aware they had one)

For his work she wants him to do explosive jumping so his numbers or letters or whatever are velcroed to the wall above ds height and he has to jump to grab the correct answer.

For transitions she wants ds to move to the next activity being ‘silly’ slithering on his belly like a snake, or jumping like a frog, or the teacher giving him a wheelbarrow.

She wants them to do lots of jumping off steps onto a crash mat, squashing him with a pillow, tug of war, using the trampette. etc

Instead of him sitting on a seat at the table she wants him to sit on a peanut ball so he can move his body whilst doing his table work.

To include him more in the classroom from his little room she wants him to do jobs for the teacher in the main classroom only jobs ds is allowed to do where he has to actively go in to the main classroom at least twice an hour.

That’s off the top of my head but she said the more ds moves the more he’s calmer. And he needs lots of heavy proprioceptive input throughout the full day.

They will not continue to pay for going forwards*

^first paragraph should of read.

I think my first paragraph was right actually, ignore me!