Primary school auties: summer and the new academic year - thread 7

[openupmyeagereyes]

New thread.

This is the continuation of the thread for parents / carers of autistic children / children with additional needs. Most of us are parents of children in year 1 / year 2.

Links to old threads

Thread 1 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed

Thread 2 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2

Thread 3 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3

Thread 4 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3748449-Primary-school-Auties-into-2020-thread-4

Thread 5 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3953023-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-beyond-thread-5?pg=1

Thread 6 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4166833-Primary-school-auties-spring-2021-and-beyond-thread-6?pg=1

That is great news carrie!

I would love to run a book shop too, one with comfy chairs and a cafe. I love to read but lots of fiction has been replaced with a lot of books relating to ds over the years. Currently catching up on my Scotland Street books and have been listening to the Jane Austen Collection on audio book as I've never read them (that I remember anyway).

Jane Austen is interesting. Pride and prejudice is my favourite novel ever and Mansfield Park is pretty good. Sense and sensibility though, urgh!

So far I think Northanger Abbey is my favourite. I've just started Mansfield Park. I read the Jane Austen Diet which was fun so I thought I ought to read the novels too. Now Christmas is coming though, I'll pause everything and reread some Christmassy favourites

And the song of Achilles sounds interesting, was it good? I did Classics joint honours and still have an interest there.

Yes it was really good, I was surprised, she is an excellent writer, very atmospheric. I'd recommend it. I want to read Circe now.
Ah yes Northanger Abbey, a great novel! I studied gothic novels at uni and this is such a send up of them, it's fab! I'd recommend Miss Austen too, very interesting.
I treated myself to a book of Nordic Christmas stories recently, can't wait!

We started watching the Danish programme Elves last night on Netflix. So far, so interesting.

Ooh interesting. Have you seen Norsemen? V funny.

Ds school…..

Rang me at 10am. Can’t give ds his medication at 12, we aren’t allowed to crush his tablets and add them to food or drink, the head teacher has said no, it’s our policy. (All his medication, consent forms and tablets have gone in a bag with the taxi this morning) they know I’ve always crushed it. He said at home I can do what I like but school they have to follow strict procedures (shame they don’t follow procedures when it comes to isolating / excluding / fobbing kids off on part time?!)

I said well I wouldn’t believe you if you told me all the pupils in ds school (bare in mind what type of school it is) take their tablets whole. What do you do for the others in these circumstances? Couldn’t answer me.

So I said I’ll get CAMHS to ring you then, so I’ve contacted them and they are fuming, she asked if they were always this difficult?! So camhs are ringing them and trying to sort it out. Camhs said yes it can be crushed yes it can be added to food or drink, school want a written drs letter. The dr isn’t in apparently so camhs are seeing if the adhd nurse can speak to school to give verbal consent, school being as difficult as ever.

Ds teacher said to me, wait for this…. Ds can come home early for his tablet at home if you would like, we could arrange with the taxi to collect him earlier.

Errr how does no sound!!

In a weird sort of way I wish they would just kick ds out. I’d rather have him home and get him a different school down the line!

Joke of a place… seemingly had nothing but problems since he started in may.

His medication doesn’t work as well when it’s given late. It needs to be timed perfectly to release as the other dose is wearing off. Or he’s on a comedown and gets agitated and silly and when the next dose goes in late it’s too late to undo all the aggitation if you understand me.

They are being purposely difficult.

I feel I may be shamed by too much highbrow reading from you two 🤣🤣🤣. I was with Open on the coffee shop idea though and was just about to type the same suggestion!!!! A book, blueberry muffin and Americano for me please…!

I find I have to have a balance of not too heavy stuff but not trash either. I also tend to get fixated on one author and don’t move on til I’ve read the lot (DH only clocks the name of the author not title so says after a year ‘are you still reading that??’ 🤣🤣.)

I love Anne Tyler, Lionel Shriver (I remain traumatised after reading we need to talk about Kevin but found it a compulsive read), currently on a crime roll reading Mark Billingham. Tony Parsons though they are a bit depressing. Read the Sally Rooneys but didn’t quite get the hype. Did the Austens at A level for English lit but haven’t really revisited since. Though was chatting in the pub with a colleague last week about Orwell’s 1984 and Animal Farm and thought I should really read again.

Need to get back to the theatre too… love a good Hamlet, last thing I saw was Death of a Salesman tho in a tiny theatre and I was in the front row with lots of eye contact from the actors, I felt like I could have joined in… 🙄🙄🙄

Sorry Danni we crossed. That’s just rubbish!

That is really rubbish @danni0509. I'm glad CAMHS and his doctor are recognising it, though I don't know how much that helps if you wanted to look for somewhere new? Or if there even is somewhere new? Did you say there was another SS locally that was oversubscribed but might actually be accessible? I wonder if CAMHS would know about how to get into that (or the doctor who had been in to observe)?

All fine here. We've all had colds but getting back to normal. DD's teacher has come back on the bullying stuff and it sounds good so I will cross fingers and toes that it works.

BTW, somebody asked up thread about constipation. We had holding here and were on Laxido (same as Movicol) for a long time (I guess a couple of years at least, but dropping the dose very gradually over time). It did seem to do the trick. I think for DD it was a sensory issue probably. She doesn't have problems any more so we're very lucky that she seems to have grown out of it.

Thank goodness you have camhs onside @danni0509 that is some interesting behaviour from the school!! Just under 3 weeks until the break!

danni SEND HIM HOME EARLY!!! are they completely oblivious? I really feel for you, it is an absolute joke. What about reasonable adjustments? I really hope that CAMHS can help but it sounds like you need to look for a better school.

carrie I read a good mix of stuff I think, I'm very partial to lower brow stuff too! I reread 1984 last year and it was so interesting. Good to reread these things as a proper grown up I think. I didn't do any Austen for English A-level. I'm trying to remember the last stage production that I saw, I think it was a version of Othello with the male and female roles reversed. V good. I love the theatre and love the ballet though never get to the Opera House any more.

Magrat The Secret History is one of my favourites if you want to stay on the Classics route and haven't read it.

Light glad the bullying is in hand, hopefully they can stamp it out.

Ds went in today, though he was initially reluctant and the TA had to come to the car. These days we go later so I can park in the car park, makes it easier though it means he's not there as long. Monday's are often tricky.

Can you believe the staff went to the taxi at lunch and when the taxi asked if he had taken his medication ok the staff said no, we can’t give it, taxi asked why and the staff said because we can’t alter it, we can’t crush it up and adding it to his food or drink is DECEITFUL and we don’t agree with that.

That is what a member of staff said to the taxi that what I’m doing is basically deceitful… Oh my good fucking god.

So me medicating a child with hyperkinetic disorder (that’s his actual diagnosis) which is the severest form of adhd. (Which states on all his paper work that only 1% of the population has hyperkinetic adhd) Is deceitful because I have to crush it in and disguise it so he accepts it. As though what I’m doing is a bad thing when it’s them that was ultimately the drug pushers in all of this.

I’m so angry I could honestly cry x

I wish I could get him to accept a tablet and swallow, it would save me time and patience all around but he won’t and I can only work with what I’ve got.

What’s there solution? A social story on accepting medication because that’s going to work of course. Absolute twats.

I did social stories training for 2 days in year 1. We’ve used them a lot, they don’t work, so fuck off.

I feel like emailing…

Sorry I’m not giving him medication anymore, I feel it’s too deceitful to medicate his drink without his knowledge so I’ve decided to stop everything, you’ll have to have him unmedicated from now on and oh by the way it will be for 6 hours each day.

🤣🤣🤣

I’ll give them deceitful.

I’ve mentioned on here before, I don’t particularly enjoy adding shit into my 7 year olds drink, who would? How can they try make you feel so shit with comments like that for doing what is right for your child. They are the ones who wanted him on medication. Now they have to give it to him they are coming up with any excuse under the sun because they cannot be arsed with a bit of extra work. They didn’t mention the ‘deceitful’ on the phone to me this morning. Just slagging off to the taxi as usual. Except she tells me what they say.

I’m going to ring some other special schools this week and speak to the local authority case worker because they are definitely not the right school for ds. I’m sick of there shit.

I would ask for that staff members name and make a formal complaint @danni0509

Magrat I know which one it was the taxi said her name. I should of made a complaint about another staff member when they were speaking about ds’ hours at pick up time and she said to the one next to her ‘his hours aren’t going up’ in a really leary way.

Or the time they said to ds when he was itching his head ‘you have spiders in your hair’ then the same day we got a text home about nits, she assumed because he was itching he had nits, then decided to tell him so. I checked and he didn’t.

Full of assumptions and seem really judgemental, when it should be the opposite at his school, his old mainstream school were nothing at all like that. This school seem v unprofessional.

Some of the women who work there come across as really bitchy and uncaring like they can’t be arsed with there jobs and it’s an inconvenience to look after these kids. Of course just my observations… but I’m usually right with judgment of character.

That’s just ludicrous.

I hide DSs epilim in strawberries every day. I hide his melatonin in a spoon of jam that I shove down his throat every night before he realises what I’m doing. My NT 9 year old daughter wouldn’t take a tablet ffs!! What planet are they on?? I actually had a long convo with the epilepsy consultant years ago about how best to hide the epilim!

What’s the diff between hiding in food/ drink crushed or whole? Or should you sit there all discussing the tablet then present it with a glass of fresh water??? As I say DD wouldn’t do that. They are just spinning a yarn if you ask me. Have you told them what the consultant said yet? Has it got their back up?

Well if we're talking deceitful how about depriving a child of his right to an education? I think they should probably really rather not go down the route of what is deceitful or not...

It does astonish me that they are not being helpful with his medication though - surely it's in their own interests that the medication is given properly and not late/creating the kind of cycles you were talking about? It's just common sense surely?

danni do NOT let it get to you. You know that you cannot reason with your ds to take a tablet whole. If it was heart medication they would not make the same comments, it's absolute crap. Even my FIL has to break tablets up to take them. I'm the opposite, I can down a handful (vitamins) with just a gulp of water but I realise not everyone is the same.

Their behaviour is totally unprofessional and quite shocking, It's completely in their interests, not those of your ds.