Primary school auties: summer and the new academic year - thread 7

[openupmyeagereyes]

New thread.

This is the continuation of the thread for parents / carers of autistic children / children with additional needs. Most of us are parents of children in year 1 / year 2.

Links to old threads

Thread 1 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed

Thread 2 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2

Thread 3 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3

Thread 4 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3748449-Primary-school-Auties-into-2020-thread-4

Thread 5 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3953023-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-beyond-thread-5?pg=1

Thread 6 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4166833-Primary-school-auties-spring-2021-and-beyond-thread-6?pg=1

Just what do you do when your child just does not want to learn because it’s ‘boring’? I’m worried it’s not going to be any different in a new school.

Ds doesn’t say it’s boring at home open he just has his own ideas what he wants to do and it’s not usually work related, he wants to play with toys / go on the iPad, if he draws which he often does i try get him to write a sentence explaining what he’s drawn but he won’t, he won’t even read books anymore he just wants me to make stories up to tell him. Sorry you couldn’t get him in for the millionth time, must be so frustrating.

Ds school rang me, apologised he couldn’t ring me any earlier. He said ds can stay until 1pm from next week for lunch time with his class, so 30 minutes is eating lunch (that ds won’t eat, refuses to eat at school) and 30 minutes play time. I’m not fussed so long as he’s doing an extra hour and he can have a bit of extra playtime with his class. He asked if I can change his medication times so I can give him the dinner dose at 1.30 when he gets home rather than them giving it at school for the minute as ds is very unlikely to co operate taking medication at school (he doesn’t even like drinking whilst he’s there). I need to speak to his psychiatrist and try get the once a day dose, although they don’t like to do that as it’s slow release and they like to see how they’ve been for a few months on fast acting before giving the other version.

Anyway, I’ll sort all that out as and when.

He said ds has had a really good week so far and thinks he’s making improvements on his medication, and he said he’s spectacular with his timestables so that was nice to hear!

I suppose it depends on what ‘boring’ means. Kids seem to say that a lot when they mean something very different - e.g. scary or confusing or too hard. Anything they can’t access becomes ‘boring’.

orinoco you’re probably right, especially regarding school. The problem is he won’t try things at home that I know he will be able to do, he just refuses to even look at it. I definitely think there is an element of it being ‘boring’ compared to TV and Switch, or even just doing nothing around the house it seems. I’m just worried that even if he moves schools he won’t go in and he won’t get a chance to see that it’s (hopefully) different.

We at least have a routine of reading, spelling on Squeebles and hit the button after dinner. It’s not exactly a ft education though.

He’s been up since 2:30 today. Sleep has gone pear shaped after several weeks of it being pretty good.

Ds refused to Zoom with school but did do 3 worksheets with me with a bit of complaining. He was supposed to draw his family but would only draw the cat. See photo.

Aww bless him, I love his picture!

danni did ds stay longer today? Great that he knows his times tables so well. I was losing the will to live with ds on hit the button but he did much better last night. We’ll keep doing it as long as he’ll allow.

I like the cat!

Thanks. I thought I’d attach as I know some are struggling/curious about FMS. This is quite typical of ds’ drawings though he does draw bodies usually. Still stick appendages and varying amounts of detail on clothes and hair.

Ds still draws stick men but they have no features. He’s into drawing speedometers with speed signs and random words such as MPH or draws pretend speeding tickets, he often writes the taxi driver one and tells me she went 65mph in a 60 zone he’s such a grass , another thing he does is pages and pages of random foot prints and then asks me for sellotape so he can stick them on his bedroom door or his favourite at the minute is to draw love hearts with crosses through them and writes I hate my mummy next to it !!! Lol. No idea! But thanks ds. Love you too!!

His hours are supposed to be an hour extra from next week open.

He’s had a manic morning in school, stripped off outside laid in a puddle, ate a handful of sand and was sick everywhere from the sand. Not listening and really hyper.

That should have been faced not hair.

danni that’s just what you need with his hours increasing next week. It’s like he knows…

Argh. Autocorrect.

I like the cat! My DS has still never drawn anything really, he just scribbles and mixes colours

DS is just getting over a vomiting bug, poor mite. Neither of my children have adjusted to the clock change and I'm not appreciating our 4:30/5 starts although I appreciate that, that would be a lie in for some of you.

That’s a damn good cat, better than I could manage. And I’m 45 🤣🤣🤣.

Poor ds dimples and commiserations on the early starts. Always worse when it’s dark outside. Ds has slept a little later the last two mornings, up at 4:40 today so hopefully heading in the right direction 🙏

Still no formal confirmation on the new school so I called them yesterday (they didn’t respond to my email) and spoke to the deputy head and she says as far as they are concerned he has a place. We arranged a date for the home visit in a couple of weeks. There will be 10 in his class which is a few more than I thought (which was based on total number of students expected in the school/number of years), 1 teacher and 2 TA’s.

Ds did not go in at all this week except for a visit after school on Thursday. Although I have told him that we are looking at a new school for him he knows nothing about this. I think he just thinks of it as a threat to make him go in.

I know it will likely be the best thing going forward but I’m worried about several things short term - no 1:1, what if he refuses to go there, leaving his friends etc, explicitly talking to him about autism which we have not yet done.

Me too Carrie and I'm also 45.

I had parents consultation yesterday for DD. Was a bit depressing. She has been a bit hitty since she started but apparently shouting a lot at the other children - go away, leave me alone (all phrases learnt from DS). Apparently a lot of the other children are scared of her. They weren't overly worried yet but are planning some interventions to help her play skills.

DS had a vomiting bug this week but fortunately has bounced back now.

He did a small amount of work with me on Thursday and Friday at least, about 15 minutes.

Crossed post dimples, hopefully the interventions will help.

Well done on getting him to do some work Open. Glad to hear that there is progress on the new school but understand that this is an anxious time.

Ds has gone into school! Only for about an hour and twenty minutes as I'm collecting him after break but we finally managed to persuade him in from the car park today. Phew.

We had a rough night with him Saturday night, he woke at midnight and was then up for the day at about 2:45 but today he slept until 5:30 which was very welcome.

Today we make a plan for explaining the new school to him. We were too exhausted yesterday.

I hope everyone has a good start to the week. Only 6 weeks of term left

Open Ds doesn’t know he’s got autism or anything, he wouldn’t understand anything I explained to him so I haven’t bothered, I don’t think they mention anything to them at special school either, what’s your plan regards to explaining a school move? I just told ds he was going to a new school and he asked why and I said because all the children leave xxxxxx in year 2 (which at his old school was true, they move over the road) and he was going to junior school for the big boys and he would be going to xxxxxx school and that was that. He didn’t / doesn’t question it. His current school were awful, never sent him anything, never did any visits, didn’t phone me when they said they would, he wasn’t allowed there for pre visits, they were useless (no change there then!) Although he was devastated he’d left old school he cried all weekend, he was really heartbroken and it made me feel so shit, that really suprised me because the only time he usually cries is when he isn’t allowed something which honestly at the minute, is all the fucking time, his tantrums are on steroids, anyone else’s kid tantrum so bad?

Dimples how old is dd now? Is she around 2 (I’m guessing) I hope they can help with whatever they have planned but also I think some of that comes with toddler territory.

Ds school said last Thursday his hours will increase this week by 1 hour a day. His taxi still has to collect him at 12 NOT 1. I don’t have the mental energy to deal with this school any longer, really need to find him something else for the long term…

I just want a school that want ds, want him for a full day and are happy to deal with all his behaviours that come with his diagnosis’. I don’t want to deal with schools any longer that break the law and only want him for 2/3 hours a day max, moan about all his behaviours and push me into drugging him up to his eye balls so he’s quiet and compliant (which isn’t working anyway, you’d have to really study him closely to see he’s on any medication at all!).

I don’t think I’m asking for much!!!

Danni0509 - what happened to the first special school you mentioned months ago - the one where the teacher bounced a ball back and forth with your DS getting him to add a word every time?

Yes that’s are local one orino. 10 minute drive. They told our la they couldn’t take ds last November after they consulted with them. (Id only been in the September!!) I can always try again in the future, no harm. Just not sure what to do for the best right now.