Primary school auties: summer and the new academic year - thread 7

[openupmyeagereyes]

New thread.

This is the continuation of the thread for parents / carers of autistic children / children with additional needs. Most of us are parents of children in year 1 / year 2.

Links to old threads

Thread 1 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed

Thread 2 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2

Thread 3 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3

Thread 4 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3748449-Primary-school-Auties-into-2020-thread-4

Thread 5 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3953023-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-beyond-thread-5?pg=1

Thread 6 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4166833-Primary-school-auties-spring-2021-and-beyond-thread-6?pg=1

Lighttripper, I’m laughing at trainer trauma, well it sounds to be looking up so that’s fantastic!! I am not sure about your flume, but there are some here that are a bit of a menace, I braved one not so long ago and ended up losing a contact lens so I see her point tbf!

Danni, yes, that’s frustrating, you have to keep on at them. I’ve not missed all the school crap this last week, much as it’s been hard work (I took the week off). I laughed at your story about the soft play, I wouldn’t worry I don’t think these things are designed for any adults, well thAts what I told myself when I tried to follow DS down a slide in the playground over the summer and got stuck at the top! Im impressed you get on scales, ours broke 2 years ago and I’ve deliberately not replaced, it would depress me to death. As if im not enough already!

Open that’s fab re the school. Things are moving but moving so slowly with us. We started to amend DSs EHCP in June and the LA said to account for agreeing it with school, consulting with new schools and then him being offered a place somewhere, realistically we were looking at a move the following Easter! So 9/ 10 months from start to finish. Did you find that, open? It’s too convoluted to go into here but it’s like we sent our amends to the LA, the LA shared with school, school disputed, the LA shared with us schools suggestions, we disputed, the LA then tried to produce an amalgamated doc in the process of which LA caseworker changed 3 times, they ended up circulating a completely wrong document as the final draft… god it goes on, we haven’t even got to the consult stage yet despite the place we would like him to go to telling me they would take him tomorrow but have to wait until it’s all done properly etc etc. All such dead time.

Last night was ok thankfully, I’m glad DS isn’t the only one just asking himself in!! It was pouring with rain and think DS was more engrossed with dancing in the rain and splashing in puddles than the whole Halloween thing really.

I’m seething…

Ds taxi driver passed the message on to his support staff this morning, she said can you phone ds mum please regarding a review of his hours, his 1-1 said why has his mum passed a message on via the taxi? Ie shitty about it, so the taxi said because she said she’s emailed school and nobody has got back to her, so his 1-1 with a face like a slapped arse said I’ll pass the message on, walked off with ds and the other support staff and as the taxi was closing the boot the 1-1 turned to the other 1-1 and said ‘His hours aren’t going up’

I said to the taxi driver are you definitely sure that was what was said? She said I swear on my kids lives that was what was said.

His teacher and the head are both continuing to ignore me, I’ve sent email messages and they are completely avoiding replying to me and now his class teacher that used to phone me weekly has stopped phoning me because he’s terrified I’m going to mention the hours situation. They get a teaching assistant to email me instead now.

Ds couldn’t be in a worser school if he tried.

If they can’t (which they can’t) meet ds needs, clearly evidently, don’t waste my time anymore, most importantly why do an annual review a month ago! I could of at that point tried to sort a different school.

Which lets be honest there aren’t any other schools! Hence why ds goes to a school 20 miles away.

What the fuck

Can you drive over Danni? I think that’s what I’d do. Perhaps with an email first to say as no one had responded to my mails I will be there to speak to them in person at 10am in the morning tomorrow and look forward to having my questions discussed and answered then. They can’t ignore you then.

I’d also make a point of taking a note book and OBVIOUSLY writing down every response they gave me just for the record…

I’d rather have him home and teach him myself at home than have him at school who don’t want him and get shitty when you ask for his hours to be increased to what is legally required for a child of school age.

You’d think I was asking for something impossible wouldn’t you? Not something ds is fully entitled too.

I’ve been banging on for years on this thread about hours and im sure you’re as sick of it as I am but im not giving in, they don’t understand this only fuels me more.

Carrie it’s 35 mins away. They’ll say they are too busy no doubt anyway, they were too busy to sort ds a visual timetable about his medication the other week…

I’ve given them enough chances, I’ve screen shotted everything and have proof they are ignoring me. Then the leary little comments like ‘his hours aren’t going up’ push me over the edge!

Get a job at Tesco if you don’t want to work with challenging SN kids. She’s pissed off because the more hours ds does the more work she has to do, that’s all that’s about.

I’m not going through ds ehcp caseworker either, she’s a bore and doesn’t do her job properly, I learnt that when I had 3 years worth of ongoing problems with his old school. Her answer everytime I rang her was to book a meeting with the school to resolve any issues. A) that doesn’t work B) I kind of need the school to contact me back in the first place 😂

Need to go above.!

Just googling details of that LA send department (ds lives in different authority to the school)

Open tried to answer this for me a while ago, I’m not sure what the answer was but whose decision is it ultimately about hours? Theirs or yours? I know this isn’t your situation but I find it really hard to believe that if you were a single mum working school hours to pay your mortgage and you had to work to pay your mortgage that school, when a child has a right, legally, (don’t they?) to be in FT Ed at aged 5 plus can turn around and say sorry, we will just have him for a couple of hours a day. Indefinitely. To use the words of your DS tough titties.

Can they say that?? Really????

They won’t be too busy if you are permanently stationed in their reception area…bet they could free up some time then…!

Fully understand your point about rather have him at home though… even though you shouldn’t have to.

I’ve had sendiass / ipsea involved before, with his old school, honestly it wasn’t helpful, sendiass had a meeting with them, ipsea sent an action letter and nothing was really resolved.

I had to get my LA head of send involved (top person in the send department) and i said it was disability discrimination (discrimination arising from a disability - is exactly what it is) and then ds went back full time for the last 6 weeks, then he’s moved on to here 6 months ago and they seem to be even worse.

Except because it hasn’t gone on for so long being a new school no one seems to give a shit ( heck no one really gave a shit when it had been going on 3 years ) ds school just keep saying he needs to settle in / calm down / give his meds chance to work / making out it’s in his best interest / every single excuse that exists under the sun.

Can’t keep listening to the excuses.

It’s illegal Carrie but they do it up and down the country. Usually to the kids that are hard work and they cannot manage.

Danni how frustrating. I think that you're right that you probably need to go to head of children's services. I think it's terrible really that the school are accepting all that funding for your boy but with seemingly no intention of providing the support. I would be absolutely up shit creek in terms of work and lack of respite from DS if he didn't go to school full time.

I received the report following DS's OT appointment last week. It puts his motor co-ordination at 2 years 10 months and visual motor integration at 4 years 3months - he is 8 years 4 months old. It has galvanised me to get on with EHCP contents appeal following last annual review.

Another appointment tomorrow, off to Endocrinology to find out what is going on with growth and hormones. Still really struggling with how I am meant to fit work in.

Gosh, lots of posts.

I'm glad most of the dc enjoyed Halloween, even if it was a bit hairy for some of the parents! Ds hasn't been trick or treating at all yet, hopefully next year though he doesn't eat sweets or chocolate which sort of defeats the point really. He's not been keen at all this year but maybe next year he will be again.

Light glad the trainer issue is (hopefully) resolved and that you've been able to spend time with the dc during the holidays.

danni you can demand an emergency review of the EHCP at any time. This might galvanise them? As you said though, what are your other options? I'm sorry that you're still on part time hours.

carrie I didn't quite understand your question on the school place - was it about how long it took? I have emailed both the new school and the caseworker but not heard back yet. I'm a bit worried that the email has been sent in error. That aside, this new school has been planned for the last few years and I heard about it from a friend ages ago. It was mentioned by the SENco last term when ds was struggling to go in and I called them up and spoke to the deputy head. The school is currently being built and due to open in the new year. Really for us I think it was just timing. We had ds annual review in July, just after these discussions so we were able to express interest then. The panel meeting to discuss it was initially supposed to be September, then slipped to October. I'm really hoping he does have a place but obviously we would appeal if he didn't. It all sounds a bit too good to be true really but the first hurdle will be actually getting him in the door.

dimples the OT reports are tough to read but hopefully will get your ds some support. Fingers crossed you will be able to get the support written into the EHCP.

Not sure who else I've missed. Ds has been a bit unsettled the last couple of days, screen time /meal time issues. He's due back at school tomorrow but already saying he doesn't want to go.

Sorry open, yes it was timings. Ds was due an echp review/ amendment and on the back of that we were told in the amended plan we could name a new school. But timing from the first meeting with school to discuss amends to the plan to the forecasted time he could potentially start a new school, assuming a place was offered, is according to the LA a year almost at best. Even though from my direct speaking to the senco at new preferred school there’s an ongoing place for DS that he could take up tomorrow. But he can’t cos jumping through all the hoops takes best part of a year.

I find that crazy and thank god our situation isn’t totally desperate!

Carrie some kids with send end up out of school for years on end, I read special needs jungle a lot and there are quite a lot of instances of that on there. I personally know a child whose not been in school for 18 months now.

Well nobody from school phoned me or emailed me. So much for passing the message on.

carrie wouldn’t you just name the school on the EHCP and then hope it takes less than a year, especially if they actually have a place.

Carrie that does seem bonkers. Has the LA issued a final plan following the annual review?

I’m told that the revised EHCP has to be agreed first. Then we name the new school on it. Then they consult with the school. But the plan has to be agreed before the new school is named on it… so far there’s been to ing and fro ing with school and LA trying to get a doc we all agree with. The last thing that happened was the LA sent out a wrong final version , we told them this and they are reissuing.

Only then I’m told ie when us, school and LA are in agreement that it’s final can the school be named and that then starts the consultation process.

It’s possible even when the LA reissue school object to it in which case it’s more arguing, more time during which we can’t move forward….

Yes the letter you get to approve the EHCP, or not, asks for the preferred school. Hopefully you can get it approved asap.

Hope so open.

Hope everyone’s morning has been ok so far. Neither DS nor DD wanted to get out of bed so super struggles even before breakfast!! 🤣🤣

Ds refused to get out of the car when we got to school. I’m amazed we got that far tbh. Going to try Zooming with them soon.

He’s been awake since 3:30 too, still adjusting to the clock change.

@danni0509 it's shocking that the school won't even reply to your e-mails or set up a meeting. I would send one more attempt saying you need to meet by X to discuss (Friday?) and then escalate as you say.

Have you tried getting your MP involved? I know some are useless but if you have a good one it might be worth a try.

Ds refused to get out of the car this morning but he did say hello to his TA and friends on Zoom which is something. Dead set against doing any work but we’ve read some good books.

Chaos here for various reasons, I could really do with him being in school 😬