Primary school auties: summer and the new academic year - thread 7

[openupmyeagereyes]

New thread.

This is the continuation of the thread for parents / carers of autistic children / children with additional needs. Most of us are parents of children in year 1 / year 2.

Links to old threads

Thread 1 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed

Thread 2 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2

Thread 3 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3

Thread 4 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3748449-Primary-school-Auties-into-2020-thread-4

Thread 5 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3953023-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-beyond-thread-5?pg=1

Thread 6 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/4166833-Primary-school-auties-spring-2021-and-beyond-thread-6?pg=1

Embarrassingly, I’m so fat I get stuck in the kids things at soft play. I’m about 15 and a half stone at the minute. I have no energy nor the mental headspace to diet for now. I have to follow him around and I get so out of breath trying to keep up.

Ds once went missing in soft play as I was trying to untangle myself from some netting and he’s behind the counter helping himself to a slush puppy not in a cup just putting his mouth under it and pressing all the buttons to release the slush, the young girls on the counter had a serious did that just happen moment 😳😂

It will probably be a really stupid idea me taking him this afternoon, but needed something to do.

danni he does occasionally get hangry. Thankfully he is eating normally today though he was a bit nervous before breakfast. I hope your mission to wear ds out works.

Magrat how did the pumpkin picking go?

We've had a nice calm first morning here. He doesn't go back until Tuesday as they have an inset day Monday. I'm waiting to hear from the EHCP caseworker on the new school.

Pumpkin picking was good but he's been v up and down with moods today, probably due to anxiety at half term being different routine, not helped by me feeling sick and manky! Went out to the park. Baked cakes and other games but gosh it's a lot of time to fill until 5pm isn't it!!!

Isn't that what screen time is for?
Nearly there.

Carved pumpkins and did crafts today DS v quiet while I was carving. Went in, pen all over his face. Turns out he wanted to look like a lady with makeup but I did not react well oh dear! Just got him a toy makeup set!!

Magrat ds asked me for lipstick for Xmas. He’s used the taxi drivers twice and come in looking like a complete clown both times, so wish I could post a picture of him!

I won’t buy him any though (unless he uses it when he’s sat in the bath!) as he gets stuff on the walls / carpets / everywhere!! He’s only allowed his pens at the kitchen table as he has a habit of doing Picasso pieces all over the walls.

We haven’t carved our pumpkins yet, we are doing them tomorrow when Dh has a day off work. They are sat lined up at the back door waiting to be sorted, ds has a preconceived idea in his head that afterwards we are making a pumpkin pie, he wouldn’t bloody eat it anyway and i wouldn’t know where to start! I told him we will roast the seeds instead and feed them to the birds

Recipe for pumpkin pie. I made this a couple of years ago. It was quite easy and delicious.

Pants…

at the makeup artists. Ds makes dh get me makeup for Christmas.

We’ve had two hours on bouncy castles today. Ds’ favourite thing.

I don’t need makeup open, I’m a natural beauty.

In my dreams.. when ds lets me sleep that is

Anyone got anything planned for today? Ds has been on his iPad whilst I clean up, taking him to McDonald’s drive thru soon for 2 plain burger buns and an apple pie. (he eats the bun, I eat the burger) that’s about as rock n roll as it gets today.

We spent 7 minutes at the park and then you inspired us to get a drive through McDonalds. Ds does not eat it (he has occasionally eaten a French fry) so dh has the burger and I have the fries. Ds likes the toy.

Hi all! I'm so behind but great news about the school @openupmyeagereyes. Hope you can get formal confirmation and some contact people soon so you can start to prepare DS.

We have quite a bit of screen time here. At least 30 mins in the morning, then usually another 30 mins while I'm making tea and 30 mins after that. But at the weekends its more in the mornings, and often they'll play computer games on their iPads for a bit in the afternoons if we're home. I just try to give them some variety - so e.g. if they've been on iPads for a while I'll suggest they actually watch a show on the big TV, or if they've been watching YouTube I'll suggest playing a game instead. DD tends to watch at least somewhat factual things or fairy stories or something I can convince myself is improving, whereas DS seems to end up on Ryans World most of the time if I leave him unattended... I don't mind the family but they just have so much stuff/so many toys, it makes me feel a bit ill.

All is fine here. We've been on half term which both kids really needed. Did a major fail when I forgot about DD's flu spray (which she'd refused at school) and had to take her out for it with no notice. She really really struggled, lots of tears and anger. In the end the nurse let me do the actual spraying and DD tolerated that. I really hope it was just a blip because I didn't give her a reminder on the day, but it does feel like this particular category of things (any kind of medical procedure at school, being looked at/talked to by anybody she doesn't know) is actually getting harder as she gets older rather than easier. Hey ho. It's kind of a first world problem but I do feel for her.

It has been nice working less during this half term. Got to spend all day with them today without having to spend too much time replying to e-mails and it was good. Makes me realise I do actually really enjoy spending time with them (even in all their craziness) when I'm not also trying to get proper work done!

@openupmyeagereyes the only thing DS will eat is the chicken nugget meal! His most favourite part is neat ketchup...
@LightTripper glad you're spending nice quality time etc. I feel that, after 4 days, there are only so many board games that an adult can play without actually going a bit mad, especially when DS makes up the rules and insists all his toys play too to take it up to the max players (and sometimes they're all on different teams, my poor brain!) We have carved 3 pumpkins already and done a toucan box mega craft box for Halloween but he is already ridiculously excited and worried about if people put pumpkins out then give no sweets and shout trick at us. I don't know where these thoughts come from! We are also obsessed with Ryan's Wod despite my loathing for the show, I just hate how they've basically commercialised their child.
We all still have coughs sigh. And the cat brought home fleas and worms so I have been up to the vet and spent two days washing essentially the whole house and everyone in it but still feel grim. Urgh.
In other news DS' makeup arrived but after a brief experiment he realised I was fine with it and he lost interest, declaring he is allergic to it and so practiced his 'spooky makeup' on me instead!

Magrat saying he's allergic is pretty genius! Sorry about the board games, I would find that really hard work too.

Light totally agree about all the toys on those shows. I also hate the whole 'collecting' thing. I hate that you can't just have one toy anymore it's got to be part of a collection. Well done on getting dd her flu shot.

We've had an unusually busy half term so far. Ds was brilliant when his cousins came to visit and spent his time making sure everyone was rounded up in the playground. I took dd but not ds to legoland yesterday, which was good but crazy busy.
We're off to stay with the grandparents for a couple of nights tonight, which ds usually enjoys.
Think I may need a holiday after this!

Well I have definitely been cheating on the quality time. I worked Monday-Wednesday, I did Thursday and OH is doing today - and we've both booked outings for our days which always make time pass quicker and things go easier! Was quite proud of myself yesterday though as we also made biscuits and finished their Halloween costumes, did 2 loads of laundry (sad how satisfying I find chunking through laundry these days - despite the fact there is always always more!) But I didn't have to engage in board games or messy crafts so that was a definite win....

We've still never done LegoLand and I feel we probably should before DD outgrows it ... might look into it over Christmas as they get a long/late holiday, so if we go towards the end it may not be too busy (or it may just be shut!)

We went to Legoland last Summer when it was meant to be restricted numbers but it was heaving even then. DS couldn't really cope but he's not into Lego and he likes roller-coasters - the rides weren't scary enough for him.
I have taken DS swimming twice this week which he really enjoyed. We're going to a play farm tomorrow and will carve pumpkins there. I have hidden our Halloween stuff too well and now I can't find it. )
My Mum looked after the kids yesterday as I had to work. At the end of the day as we were leaving her house DS belted DD with a pillow. My Mum really got cross with DS who kept saying to me 'you, do love me don't you'. Now things are a bit strained between my Mum and me.

Light I would definitely recommend getting a SEN pass if you go. We spent about 2/3 of the visit queuing! Also there where quite a few rides that weren't working (like the driving school!) so I would definitely check in advance what you can go on to prepare for disappointment. Luckily dd and her mate were too little to really care about what was open or not and were completely unfazed by the queues.

Dimples yes definitely not for massive thrill seekers.
I'm sorry about the visit with your mum. It's so hard managing ' discipline' with others. Older family members always get very wound up if ds hits dd and then make the situation more strained by not letting me deal with it. We have a rule now that only me and dh can manage ds if we are in a group situation. It's really hard though!

Definitely endorse your recommendation re the pass Liv we didn't have one and I really wish I had tried harder to sort one out.

I have the same agreement with my Mum but I guess the boundaries are blurred when she had them without me all day. I had also told her that my current strategy when DS attacks DD is to make a fuss of DD and try to speak to DS later. To be fair I don't always stick to my own rules! The thing is when DS goes for his sister he normally does not appear angry nor if there is any conflict beforehand and he seems to take pleasure in hurting her - it is massively triggering.

I too am behind and will post properly when sanity resumes tomorrow.

A friend of DDs suggested we go trick or treating, it’s currently pissing it down, the child’s mum offered to do tea for the kids. I’d normally leave DS with DH but am feeling I’ve just got to expose him to more stuff so he’s coming for the kids tea then t or t. I’m bloody dreading it. I hate stuff like this AND have my heart in my mouth taking DS anywhere. Especially if any well meaning neighbour tries to strike up conversation with him then says stuff like he’s very quiet, is he ok??? Etc etc.

Deep breath… need to get the costumes in order…. When did Halloween become such a big thing??? Not in my very ancient day…

Is it acceptable to take a hip flask??

Good luck, Carrie!

We just went trick or treating but thankfully not many of our neighbours had pumpkins out, so it was a short, pleasant outing. We have only had one group call on us since we have got back and DS is desperate for more - as well as eating 'candy' his favourite part is handing it out. He only tried to invite himself into one house (and we do vaguely know them) so I'm counting that as a win.

I am quite allergic to T&T too, but unfortunately both mine LOVE it so we have to. DD is very shy, but I think she manages an occasional "Happy Halloween". Not sure it's loud enough for anybody else to hear so I just yell it at people anyway ,which I'm sure they enjoy . Anyway, they've got enough chocolate now to last them to Christmas (and we are in a quieter street and only had 3 or 4 groups visit when we were home, so we also have spares of that to get through ... those might have to be for the grown ups!)

Back to school today and DD went back to her original school PE trainers - the ones that were causing meltdowns 2 weeks into term . I can't remember if I shared trainer trauma pre half-term but it was BIG and hard (I think all her anxiety around new school just got bound up with sensory stuff around some stiff/new trainers and made life hard for us both!). Feeling quite pleased with myself as it suddenly occurred to me those original ones were more adjustable like the twinkly ones we got for her that she's been wearing over half term (which are also quite stiff but she tolerated because they lit up).
So anyway, I thought they would be worth another try after she got used to being in those. Anyway, I was still shocked when it worked!! Hopefully that is the end of having to change shoes on crowded buses... Obviously I still didn't really trust it had worked and put her other trainers in her school bag, so will be lugging those home later . But anyway, that counts as a win so far.

Hope everyone else had a good drop off if it was your first day back too.

On Legoland, I was actually looking at maybe doing the hotel. Neither of my two are that big into rides and they can both tolerate queuing so I'd feel like a bit of a fraud if I went for the pass though maybe if we go I'll regret saying that! I think the main thing they'd like is just actual lego models and anything Ninjago or Lego City themed... but I don't know how much of that there actually is!

DD gets quite anxious about rides. Managed to get her to go on the flume at the new swimming pool at the weekend and she really didn't like it poor thing! But I was glad she gave it a go, and at least now she and we know it's not her thing, rather than being torn every time she sees it between longing and fear! That whole place is such sensory hell really (just the noise and smell - the building is actually lovely - light and spacious - but put enough kids into any space and it's a bit overwhelming!) Realised this week that the Training Pool actually seems quite quiet over lunchtime at weekends, so we might try just a normal swim next week rather than the crazy bit with sprayers and flumes and everything.

Ds loves Halloween. He was being daft last night and saying Halley happoween to people instead, he thought he was hilarious, bit much tho when they answer the door he says Halley happoween and then histerically laughs and they are looking at us like he also try’s to get into their house barging past them in the doorway, I waited at the garden gate and made Dh take him to a few, so stressful, but we did an hour and went home. He was a skeleton.

Ds school still ignoring me about hours so I’ve sent the taxi driver with a message this morning asking them to phone me today regarding increase in hours, no call so far.

Another escort has left again.. Ds is on his 4th one since June and this one can’t start until 9.10 after she’s done another school run so this morning they got ds 15 minutes late and told me it is only temporary until they can get another full time aid, I said no! He isn’t being late every morning. How is that even ok?

3 different houses made comments along the lines of, somebody has eaten too many sweets, erm no this is my child after no sweets, plus adhd medication 🤣