Primary school auties : spring 2021 and beyond - thread 6

[danni0509]

Hi. New thread.

This is the continuation of the thread for parents / carers of autistic children / children with additional needs. Most of us are parents of children in year 1 / year 2.

Links to old threads

Thread 1 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed

Thread 2 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2

Thread 3 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3

Thread 4 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3748449-Primary-school-Auties-into-2020-thread-4

Thread 5 - www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3953023-Primary-school-auties-summer-and-beyond-thread-5?pg=1

Everyone welcome x

Fingers crossed for the rest of term for you dimples.

Ds in today. He was reluctant and we were about 15 minutes late but at least he went. It's such hard work. Now I need to put together a Thomas track so it's ready for when we get back (I said I would) and find a Cranky that seems to be missing from the box...

That's great he made it in again @openupmyeagereyes but does sound hard.

Another group I'm on has recommended a Faceboook Group called Sunshine Support. She described it as "like a paid-for SENDIASS and they do free and paid for seminars". It looks like they have an event on the 13th (8pm) on school refusal - could be worth a look? Looks like it is a paid for event, but they also have some free events so could be worth keeping an eye out for interesting things in the future.

www.facebook.com/SunshineSupportCIC/

Actually looks like a video of a "Facebook Live" on the same topic is also up: www.facebook.com/events/324158406069912/?ref=newsfeed

Light we’ve done a couple of sunshine support webinars including one on school refusal a few months ago. It was useful but mostly concentrated on schools needing to make adjustments. In our case school is bending over backwards really. He told me yesterday was great so hopefully he’ll go in again today 🤞

Fingers crossed for you and DS!! Sometimes it is just hard, even when everybody is doing their best.

Yes, and sometimes the environment is not quite right despite everyone's best intentions. We had the annual review today and have asked to consult with the new school so we'll see what happens. The timing works well because we will have a clear idea next term whether mainstream just isn't working any more and then if not, fingers crossed he gets a place there for January.

Has your dd finished for the summer now Light? How are you managing the holidays this year without your nanny?

Ds went in today, albeit dragging his heels a bit to get ready. His feedback yesterday and today has been that he had a good time so fingers crossed for tomorrow.

I joined those class zooms, omg honestly I feel 100% fucking drained from joining 2 x 15 minute sessions, all of those children don’t move AT ALL, they sit completely still 😫😂

Ds was in the kitchen trying to open the patio doors / up the stairs / I was in the bathroom trying to get him out / he was putting my radiators on with the thermostat / chucking Dh clean work gear all over my kitchen / getting my toaster out / shouting random messages to his teachers such as stop your dog barking, xxxx I love you, telling one of the teachers he was going to hit her in the face, then he shouted mummy don’t hit me (I don’t hit him ever!) mortifying child!

I’m on zoom on my iPhone so I’m practically running around whilst he’s doing it all phone in my hand showing the class my ceiling 😂 I’m sweating!

They have sent another 15 minute one for tomorrow for a catch up with his class, dreading it!

danni that sounds a nightmare. I would just say online learning doesn't work for him and not bother.

Dh was recommended this from someone at work. I've not read anything yet but it might be useful.

autisticscienceperson.com/2021/01/05/a-guide-to-understanding-your-autistic-child/

Open glad that you feel more positive following AR.

Danni I could never get DS to engage with group online lessons. Sometimes he would sit there but even when physically present he was off somewhere else in his mind. He did engage in some really short sessions just with his 1:1.

DS's TA's son has tested positive for covid so she is self isolating. Waiting on her test result now ...Her son is an adult and doesn't live with her so I have all my fingers and toes crossed. We're off for DS's psychological assessment this afternoon. They said that it can last up to 2 hours. Can't see DS lasting that long.

Arghh dimples, fingers crossed.

Well I did not get ds into school today. 45 minutes of dicking around in the car, outside the car and then outside the school door. I am still wound up by it all. I bloody hate it when we get there and then he messes about, I'd rather he just not leave the house.

Danni it's nearly impossible to get NT dd to engage with zoom and ds would run out the room anytime the school tired to zoom. We just didn't bother and only did some online learning. Randomly ds loves learning via powerpoints?!

Fingers crossed for you dimples. Good luck with the session today.

Sorry about this morning open. It's so frustrating when you are so close. Ds was still protesting even when they got him through the first set of gates at the school a couple of weeks ago. It's exhausting.

Both of mine have an inset today, great timing given how little did has been in school this term. The school did at least apologise for the timing of it.

Rotten timing liv. Strange time for them to have one, I thought they usually tagged them onto the beginning and end of term.

I'm still feeling a bit fed up. I know ds is struggling and I feel for him of course, but selfishly just a bit tired of having so little child-free time and not being able to plan anything. It's been weeks now with at least another 9 ahead of me (after the year we've had). Thank goodness it's the weekend and I have a couple of days off the stress of the morning routine.

danni you must be pulling your hair out too. At least I can leave ds unattended in the house. If I drank I'd be tempted to start now. It's 5 o'clock somewhere isn't it? [disclaimer - I'm not tee total but drinking is not compatible with a semi-nocturnal child, nor my ageing body]

Desperately trying to avoid some online retail therapy to cheer myself up...

I haven't heard anything so I am assuming the TA's test was negative. ...Not really what DS needs at the end of term to be without consistent support but just one of those things this year. At least the possibility of an emotional farewell (on my part!) is averted.

Strangely at the psychologist DS sat still and really focused (is this really my child?!) She's going to ring me on Tuesday to share her findings.

Got DS's report today 'working towards/below average' for everything except for music, technology and PE. PE surprises me given his poor motor skills. Not surprising of course.

Open I would go for retail therapy. I'm definitely having a drink tonight.

Weird timing for inset days. Although DS's have 2 at start of these hols and 2 at the end making the hols almost 7 weeks. Also means returning to school on a Friday - think Thursday would be better. Don't know about you all but my anxiety is increasing about all this time with DS. I have rashly signed him up for a music/dance class which is just mornings for one week. I think that he should be okay as it's for 4-7 and some of his classmates are going. I have never tried any holiday schemes before but I have a lot of work on these hols and I think my Mum and sister cope better with small doses of DS!

dimples well done to your ds for his music, PE and ITC

Our holiday seems to be exactly 6 weeks which is less than usual. Of course ds mostly at home for weeks so it won’t make much difference to me other than not having the farce of trying to get him in each day!

We did go in after school to visit the Y3 classroom and teacher. He had no problem with this as I was with him and there were no other children.

@openupmyeagereyes it's hard isn't it, with not enough time? I know what you mean with the reduced timetable, hugs about the school refusal too. Not long to go now until the summer!
@dimples76 well done to your DS! We had a fairly positive report, very tactful and highlighting the good parts, which was nice. He's emerging mostly, as we expected, but is 'as expected' in maths and reading. The reading was a nice surprise and he came home with a blue band book, very pleased with himself, so that was nice.
@livpotter odd re the inset day!
@danni0509 oh what a nightmare!! My DS would be the same, he gets really angry if people try to make him do video calls at all, although oddly really got into these phonics videos one of the teachers made in lockdown but would only watch them at school. I would just tell them he can't learn via zoom and not put you or him through it all!!
We are off to a train hobby railway place tomorrow and then 1.5 weeks left! Woo! Oh and we found out we got school transport for Sept, so I think that's good too! DH got a new job too closer to home and my part time hours have finally been agreed phew!

Open I’m thoroughly fed up of ds being around my neck. He’s had 20 days isolation (although I’m not gunna lie he hasn’t isolated this week we’ve been out and I honestly don’t care! Still been round my neck though!) he’s had a weeks half term and part time hours since may when he left old school, he’s back on Monday, part time for a week and a couple of days, then has 7 weeks summer holidays. He’s being a fucking nightmare on a night time, in my bed every night, won’t go to sleep / getting up middle of the night / getting up before it’s even light. No wonder parents don’t bloody cope.

Yesterday on zoom he smacked me in the face on the call for everyone to see. His teacher phoned me straight afterwards to ask if I was ok, he mentioned then that he’d just had an hours online meeting regarding ds with the child psychologists and he’d painted an accurate picture of the circumstances and they’ll be in touch with me soon.

Well done dimples for ds report.

Liv that is strange having a random day off.

Sorry magrat didn’t see your post, have a lovely time at the railway museum x

Magrat lots of positive news! Enjoy your trip tomorrow.

danni it must be exhausting. Glad you can get a break on Monday.

Ds has been messing around at bedtime for a week or so. He gets up and runs downstairs after story time and has been going to sleep later. The last couple of nights we've managed to get him to go back up after a 5 minute timer but whether this will last I don't know. He also still wants to sleep in with me some nights.

Ds won’t be watching the football, he doesn’t have a clue about England / what a football match is.

I’ll watch it with Dh if hopefully ds has gone to sleep (I’m sat on his bedroom floor now trying to get him to sleep)

It makes me sad that it’s such a rare event and most 7 year old boys will be buzzing watching the match with their families tonight and talking about it at school tomorrow.

The kids down the street all have face paint on and out on the front. My Aunty and her kids are having a garden party.

He misses out on so much thanks to fucking Autism.

Anyone else feel like that?

I’m sorry danni it’s hard sometimes. I’m still trying to get ds to sleep. It’s after 8 most nights now.

We took ds to a park yesterday and there were a group of young boys playing football. Ds doesn’t know them because he goes to school in the next village. He was interested in what they were doing and running near them but was acting very shyly and strangely and didn’t speak to them, like he had no clue what to do even though he wouldn’t be like that with children that he knows. It’s times like that that his differences are stark when other times, when he’s more comfortable, he just seems quirky.

I'm feeling guilty Danni because after Wednesday I forgot to tell DS about the match and when we got to school all the other kids were buzzing about it. He finds it hard enough to follow what is going on at the best of times. He asked to watch the match as I tucked him in tonight but he would probably have lasted 5 mins. I am slightly doubting my decision but he fell asleep almost immediately and after a bad night last night he really needs to catch up.

Well I give up. Terrible bedtimes for weeks now. DS climbing over me, going back down, v upset when I tell him no, throwing things, any excuse to stay downstairs. Then when back in bed, he's endlessly chatting, verbal stimms, poking me in the face, manic laughing, tossing and turning, just can't drop off to sleep. Hysterical crying, hitting, slamming doors. I can't do it so I'm just going to let him stay down for a bit I think. Don't know what else to do!! Might say I'm off to bed at 9pm then get back up again? Or just sleep??? Argh I don't know, it's too stressful. Finally he went yo sleep at 9.15pm tonight after I went out as he was being so tricky and DH tried to get him to sleep, total disaster, he threw stuff at DH so DH told him his kindle was in the bin (hence the hysterical crying) argh. So overall, current mood is that I've poured a wine and I'm watching the extra time!