Primary school auties: summer and beyond - thread 5

[openupmyeagereyes]

This is the continuation of the thread for parents and carers of autistic children in Early Years and KS1. Most of us are parents of children in Reception or Year 1, but all welcome!

Here are the links to the previous threads:

Thread 1: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed

Thread 2: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2

Thread 3: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3

Thread 4
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3748449-Primary-school-Auties-into-2020-thread-4

@danni0509 telling these people they are acting contrary to law and good practice is what all of us would love to do!! Not being one of those parents at all.

It's like the comment about how hard it is to teach my child alongside the other 29 kids in the class...tough my child deserves an education too! Blimmin people!

Ds has had his nhs salt review via video call today at school. His speech therapist was phoning me afterwards to let me know how it went.

She phoned me and said he had his class teacher and 1-1 miss xxxxxx with him, I said no she’s not his 1-1 at all and he doesn’t have his class teacher either he has a dinner lady he’s not even allowed into the classroom.

So what they’ve done is got an actual Ta and the class teacher to do it with him today so it looks all hunky dory to the professionals.

They are so corrupt it’s unreal 😡

I just told his salt all what’s been going on and she said they haven’t told me he’s on part time hours they didn’t mention he was leaving the school for specialist school they’ve literally not said anything and they were talking like they work with ds every day 😕

Liars!

danni I am shocked/not shocked as usual with your ds’ school.

Do I have the dubious honour of being the first on thread to test positive for covid?

Oh dear open! How are you? What symptoms did you have? Is ds ok or showing symptoms? I thought you’d been quite for a couple of days.

My aunty had a positive test last month she works in a care home, there was an outbreak amongst residents and she got it from there.

Anyway she’s ok now but she had a week of feeling shitty but all recovered x

Thanks danni that’s good to hear.

Yesterday morning I woke up with a bit of a dry cough that just felt a bit different. I booked a test and didn’t expect it to be positive but it was. Only took 12 hours.

Cough eased off yesterday during the day but I’m starting to feel tickly again.

I’m worried of course, hoping none of us get ill. I’m staying away from dh and ds and wearing a mask but quite possibly it’s too late.

Ds has had a cold for the last week or so but nothing unusual as far as I can tell. Hard to know if he’s the source or if I’ve been unlucky and picked it up somewhere else. I had an osteopath appointment on Tuesday (both wore masks) and have not heard that I should isolate following that. It feels a bit crap because we’ve tried to be really careful and haven’t done much at all. Sadly we also saw my parents the day before so they have to isolate too. My step-dad is vulnerable so I’m feeling awful about that.

Bless you, don’t feel bad, it can’t be helped, you would not of seen them had you had symptoms and you weren’t to know you were going to test positive. I’m sure all will be ok. Do you take vitamin d, c and zinc? I take those as I read they can be useful for covid purposes.

I think I mentioned on here to Lottie before, but a few people my dh works with tested positive and dh had been in close contact for days at work before they realised, one tested positive so couple of others had tests and they tested positive too. Dh never got any symptoms, neither did me or ds.

I said to dh how close were you in contact? (I know they can’t socially distance at his work) He said put it this way one of the positive cases kept borrowing my vape as his had broke 😳😂

how he didn’t get it I’ll never know!

Anyway take care open, I’m sure you’ll be just fine x

I take various vitamins including c & d.
I’m keeping everything crossed 🤞
Hoping I sleep better tonight, I was so anxious last night I only got a couple of hours.

My text came as I was going to bed.

Open hope that you are feeling better soon. It does seem that you can be in close contact with others and not pass it on. DS's best friend's Mum is a nurse and she tested positive and was ill for a few weeks but her husband and 3 kids never caught it (they have all had antibody tests since which confirmed the original covid test results). Fingers crossed that the rest of your family is okay.

My sister (who works as a TA in DS's school) is self isolating as there have been two positive cases in Year I where she works. So there are now 2 year groups off at DS's school. Did contemplate pulling DS out for the last few days but I am exhausted. I have just wrapped my presents though and my Mum is coming over in the morning to help me with a few jobs. So hopefully will feel more relaxed then ... I know that my Mum thinks that I should keep DS home but she doesn't have to live with him!

Just after some advice.

Ds is always touching his Willy, he’s sort of discovered it this last year or so and he’s realised he can make it (stand to attention - not sure what other way I can appropriately describe)

I googled before and seems normal and read not to discourage them but ask them to do it in private, so I just remind him not to put his hands in his pants in front of other people as it’s something you do in private on your own so I send him to his bedroom. Which he will go up and close his door and I’m assuming has a good old fiddle! I’ve been in a couple of times to check on him as he can’t be trusted on his own and he’s all sweaty in the face 😳

Anyway his 1-1 came out today and said he’s been lounging about on the chairs all morning... no idea, so I knew what she meant straight away but didn’t say so, so when I left I said to ds what was you doing at school on the chairs and he said trying to make my Willy burst (his description)

so he’s erm rocking it on furniture to make it stand up I think as he’s done similar at home and I have had to tell him about the only touching Willy in private / bedroom scenario. He said it feels nice. So I said to him today you don’t do that at school ds no body wants to see it.

Obviously he has no social understanding / doesn’t understand boundaries, so what do I do?

Keep telling him to only do it in his bedroom or tell him not to do it at all?

I don’t like being a mum in these situations 😂 helppppp

I’m absolutely dieing of embarrassment that school will collar me when they clock what he’s doing

(I don’t think it’s abnormal as such for autism as I’ve read threads on here and other sites about kids doing similar, he’s a massive sensory seeker and that comes up often) i am quite open in general and talk about all sorts, but I feel so embarrassed discussing this.

Just wondering what’s the best way to approach it with ds, make him realise only in private or tell him to stop completely and distract him every time? (but that won’t work as he only does what he pleases!) he’s up there now in his bedroom with his door closed and I don’t even want to know!!

Just don’t want him doing it in public as he sees no issue with it of course.

Please tell me you’ve experienced similar and have an answer 😆

danni ds went through a fiddling phase when he was in reception and I just kept telling him it was private and for when he was alone. Hopefully your ds will get it in the end - at least it’s nearly the end of term! for you!

Thanks for the good wishes all, feeling fine today so far and had a much better nights sleep.

And yes, I think it’s a common sensory seeking thing for autistic boys and girls.

Thanks open, he did come down for his lunch not long after my last post and he was all red and sweaty in the face.

I think he’s getting my drift about only in his bedroom, well at home anyway! just need to get him to understand not to do it in school or public places and not in front of other people because it’s not something I particularly want to see.

I’m pleased you are feeling ok x

I didn’t realise boys could properly masturbate so young. Really not looking forward to that phase... 😳

You have my sympathies!

Danni my DS plays with himself all the time too. I have always said that he can only do it alone in his bedroom. I asked school and he doesn't do it there. He will often do it in other rooms of the house but if I call his name stops. He is such a sensory seeker it shouldn't surprise me but does drive me crazy!

I didn’t realise either open, I had to google ‘my 7 year old won’t leave his willy alone’ i thought it was something teenage boys did! Maybe I’m too naieve!

From what I read, the difference is when they are younger it’s not done in a sexual way, it’s because they like the feeling.

I’m not sure exactly what ds is doing if he’s masturbating or fulfilling his sensory needs, but I’ll leave him to it as long as he’s doing whatever it is in private.

Thanks dimples! good to know I’m not alone

I saw a social story about this on Twinkl the other day.. might be useful!

Omg DS keeps doing this too!! He pretends he's driving the Mars rover at bedtime and I think he's moving his willy about!! I'm just not commenting or making a big deal of it at the mo...!!

My dn is older and also has HFA. He’s always done this and did it at school for a bit too but luckily no one clocked it. SIL just repeated about 6,000 times only in your bedroom and eventually it worked - he had stopped by about age 7

Oh no Open, hope you feel ok!

We've had two year groups at dd's school sent home, just hoping we can make it through to Christmas without anyone having to self isolate.

Last day of school here, quite looking forward to having a couple of weeks without having to do school runs/uniforms etc.

That's difficult danni. We just say private and use the makaton sign. But it's very hard when kids have no social awareness.