Primary school Auties: into 2020! - thread 4

[LightTripper]

This is the continuation of the thread for parents and carers of autistic children in Early Years and KS1. Most of us are parents of children in Reception or Year 1, but all welcome!

Here are the links to the previous threads:

Thread 1: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed

Thread 2: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2

Thread 3: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3

Ooh DS would probably love an Elsa dress too! Welcome @The4ks my DS is August born, so young anyway, and is repeating Reception year in Sept after missing so much this year so we'll be Reception 2020 buddies! He's just got an ASC diagnosis, he finds change really hard, and I'm worrying about whether school will still be different to how he remembered in Sept. He has a really good memory and gets upset when things are different but we find social stories work well. I second @LightTripper's recommendation for the nurturing neurodiversity channel and the Facebook group is good at promoting positivity around neurodiversity. Hope the paddling pool obsession is diminishing @dimples76 we don't have one after seeing DS with one at my mom and dads last summer...it ended up just more as a rock pool than anything else!! We have a mud kitchen that keeps him occupied although now his obsession is digging...I didnt mind at the start but now the hole is getting bigger!! I think with DS, starting school helped to teach him routines, but changing that routine is now tough. He had ta support to help him access the curriculum and they have a sensory room, which he is currently asking about a lot! It's a shame as he had just started to get the point of having friends, and the ta was helping with peer play, when the schools closed. He hates video chat. But I'm just working on holding conversations with him, and that is getting better.

Hi
I am posting on a different topic if I can get any recommendations. Anyone can recommend bcba consultant in London area? Not the famous ones who have long waiting list.
Thanks in advance

Oh and we are finding the mindful garden app on cbeebies go explore fantastic.

No I haven't heard of that channel before, will definitely check that out!
Thanks so much for the tips.

I hope everyone had a good half term. I had a socially distant visit to my parents garden for the first time yesterday which was nice. Honestly it felt like I’d never been away (I’ve been FaceTiming them more often than I would usually see them), even driving which I haven’t done since March. Otherwise it’s all a bit Groundhog Day here as it must be for lots of people.

Ds in good spirits, he has amazed me really with how he’s coped. He seems to be very much of the out of sight, out of mind mentality at the moment which is helping with the current situation but I’m not sure what will happen if and when we start to ease back into normal life. Have to take it step by step I suppose. School have said they’ve not yet been asked to plan for any other year groups to return this term (which would mean abandoning the bubbles).

We have carried on doing some school work over the hols as we're only doing about 1.5 hours a day and often have days off in a normal week. DS and the paddling pool is still a battle - he won't accept that I cannot leave him unsupervised in it and that there are other things that can't wait e.g. getting DD up from her nap. Invariably it comes down to me threatening to deflate the pool - I have had to follow through on this several times as he still refuses to come inside with me. Then we are all in bad moods!
Generally though things are getting better and we're all enjoying our walks and picnic lunches. Talking of which I had better prepare today's now!

Hi @Am1232017 - you will probably get more replies if you start your own thread - I don't think most of us on this thread have used ABA. We did use some "distance" ABA for a while. We found it useful in some ways, and I liked the company involved (Beam ABA) although I have quite mixed feelings about ABA now, and I don't think we'll go back on that route unless DD decides it's support that she would find useful when she's old enough to make the decision for herself.

Is anybody else back to school this week? We are back on Friday - both kids quite excited about it!

DS filled our paddling pool with mud last week. Led to it being "retired" for a few days but it's back now, and luckily mud-free. It's been hot for so long the excitement of it seems to have diminished a bit for our two though!

Hi lightTripper
Thanks for your reply. I started my own thread but didn’t get any replies that’s why I posted in this thread.but thanks for your opinion.

Good luck!

Light DS's school is not re-opening until 16th June and HT has asked if DS can start a week later than others -22nd. That means he would only be going back for 4 weeks before Summer hols. I'm thinking now that perhaps it's not worth the upheaval for 4 weeks if he has to learn new rules at school, different teacher and classroom and then in September it's all different again....but then the thought of him returning to school in September after over 5 months away is also hard to get my head around!

Good luck with the return to school

dimples I hope the paddling pool malarkey has settled down. Sounds very tricky. Have you spoken to ds about going back to school for a few weeks and what it might entail? I haven’t spoken to ds about school restarting at all.

Light I hope the pool has stayed mud free. I’m really looking forward to rain this week, everything needs a good soaking. Bring it on! Good luck with school Friday, I’m sure DD will be fine.

Ds’ class bubbles go back today. It all looks very strange on the photos but I hope it goes well. The SENco called me this week to discuss the risk assessment for ds and I had a good moan at her which I felt a bit guilty about as it’s not really her fault. I did use the ‘discrimination’ word a couple of times (in that it’s important for their development that year 1 go back but not necessarily for ds because he has additional needs). I think she is sympathetic but she was probably glad to get off the phone.

Open I have not spoken to DS about returning to school. I'm going to wait til nearer the time - especially as I wonder if it will happen. I was chatting to my best friend who is a year one teacher last night and she said that the Reception and year one children at her school had seemed v happy to be there. I agree with you re discrimination - especially given that the children with EHCPs could have been in throughout the lockdown.

@Danni0509 and @Livpotter
How are things with you?

Hey sorry been off social media for a while. Was finding that it was all making me a bit depressed!

Hope everyone is doing ok?

We're all good, ds has been naked for a month. Have no idea how we'll get him out the house ever again. But he's so happy at the moment, can only think of two meltdowns in the whole lockdown period. His speech and play have come on massively and he's generally just a very happy little boy. He also lost his first tooth (and then wanted it put back in again!)

We're not sure about when he will go back to school, they are doing a staggered re-entry and I'm waiting to hear if he will be one of the ones going in or not. I was always mentally prepared for it being September anyway so we'll wait and see.

liv ds has either been in his PJs, pants or a superhero costume. The only time he will put clothes on is when we go out for a walk and they never stay on long after that.

It’s great ds is so happy and settled. I was talking to dh last night about how few meltdowns we’ve had. The few we’ve had have been mostly around screen time and (touch wood) we seem to have turned a corner on that since I put in a timetable of set times he is allowed either YouTube or his Switch.

That's great that your DSs are having fewer meltdowns Open and Liv. Unfortunately DS is the opposite although I think that he has additional challenges - no longer being an only child, DD's adoption making him wonder more about his own and having a single parent (I think that the lack of respite is not bringing out my best parenting). The last few days have been a bit easier - toileting has improved again.

dimples I’m sure you are doing a great job

Ds has spontaneously drawn three pictures today all by himself. I am ridiculously proud of him!

That's kind Open. V impressed by the drawing.

DS and I have started to write a story about our trip to the moon. I hope I can keep on getting him to write a sentence a day - he hates writing. He has got really into space which is a welcome break from staircases and bells!

Hi. Sorry I haven't been on for a while I will come back properly later for a catch up on posts.

Ds has been to school every day throughout, he was doing 9-3 for 6 weeks, then on Monday when a few other children went back as the government announced they reduced his hours to 9.30-2.30pm after a risk assessment because at collection and drop off (they have 3 staggered starts and pick ups) they decided ds couldn't socially distance / wait his turn / do as his told etc etc so he must be dropped off after the 3 time slots and collected before the 3 time slots, not overjoyed in all honesty as it's a bit like reception isn't it? With reduced hours that only apply to ds and no other children..

Anyway I did state I wasn't happy after the email, but Dh said leave it, he's still in 5 days x 5 hours. So I've just left it alone.

There were quite a few other things in this risk assessment which leads me to believe he's quite the terror at school spitting and swearing being mentioned 🤦🏻‍♀️

Ds behaviour isn't too bad at home at the minute to be fair, still kicks off a lot but I don't think that will ever change but overall he's not been that bad.

I'm not taking my antidepressants anymore I had them for a month and they gave me really bad insomnia I was getting 3 hours sleep a night so I stopped taking them (with drs permission) 3 weeks ago, don't feel any worse so..

I can't talk to ds 1-1 anymore at collection or drop off because of all this corona, it's drop him off put his bags on the floor and leave straight away i used to talk to her every day regarding ds so feels a bit weird. So she asked school permission to be able to have my number and text me which they said was ok, so she texts me now which is nice.

I speak to her more now than I did before actually, she'll text me let me know anything I need to know then let me know what they have planned for the week ahead so I can let ds know or of any changes to expect, then yesterday she let me know how long the McDonald's queue was at the drive thru because she knew we were taking ds and he doesn't do waiting so she wanted to give me the heads up 😂

Ds development wise, his toileting still a massive issue soiling and wetting himself but his writing has come on loads, he can write all letters now upper and lower case & he spells words in his own way (CITN for KITTEN) 😍 etc.

Pics he draws are loads clearer he draws actual pictures now last week he drew a map of Tesco and the roundabout near it and on the road he drew our car and wrote mummy's car next to it.

I'll add pic he did this morning, I give him paper and pen to draw while I get his breakfast chocolate bar and make myself a coffee, I didn't tell him to draw this either 🥰 so cute x

His eating is atrocious he now won't eat at school at all. He won't even entertain his lunch bag or snack they give him, no food enters his mouth while he's there which he's been doing for a couple of months, bizarre. He gets home and he's starving or HANGRY to be more precise but will not eat whilst he's there.

And he's just as pissing fussy at home he'll only eat those Heinz toddler meals (puréed Spaghetti bolognaise anyone?!) school said send one in so I did they made him it but he wouldn't eat it.

His sleeps been ok (ish) 9/9.30pm until about 4.30/5am ish recently with the odd now were hell he asleep for 8pm so better than it was. Apart from being up before the birds

Oh! Another thing! Important thing!

I had a chat with senco about ds going to special school a few weeks ago, she brought it up, and at his next annual review (September time) we have agreed they will put the wheels in motion so that end of yr 2, so start of yr 3 when he moves to the juniors he will attend special school instead of starting the juniors so just over a year away.

She said we've loved having him and he's made some good progress since he started but it's now time that we think he needs the specialist support they can offer to give him the best possible chance.

We knew it was coming & we agree with what they say, so we now know when it will be that he will move on.

Bless him.

I've been on my phone neglecting ds whilst I typed all that and I was just in the middle of doing his pack lunch that he won't eat but I can't send him empty handed so he's seized opportunity to make it himself.

Here we have it.

6 cereal bars, a knife fork and spoon, chewing gum, a pen, a random baby wipe, a medicine spoon, 2 x medicine syringes, a pen, an ice lolly mould (!) some breadsticks and a yoghurt drink. 😂

Danni interesting lunch!

I'm glad to hear that there are lots of positives amongst the challenges. That picture and writing is great.

Toileting is still driving me mad - we had 6 weeks at the start of the year with no accidents but during lockdown we have had some days like the start of toilet training with 5+ accidents. So I know he can do it.... The last two days have been accident free basically because DS has listened to me and had a try when I have asked him to (often flies into a rage). I'll enjoy it whilst it lasts.

danni that is very independent of him, getting his own lunch! Nice to hear your update, he’s doing brilliantly with his writing and drawing. The phonetic spelling is good too, he’s getting the sounds right. I’m glad you have a plan going forward, hopefully you can find somewhere good that has a place.

Sorry for those that have toileting issues, it must be very hard.

We had a Zoom call with school this morning and then a drive for a brief walk in some local woods. It was the first time ds has been in a car since mid-March and he wasn’t bothered at all.

We don’t get any school work done until mid to late afternoon here.

Love his lunch Danni! And the rainbow and writing - love the way he does the serifs!! Very fancy.

dimples, do you think DS would like to do this? Still a few days left I think. I mentioned it to DD but she didn't seem that interested (but I'm sure we will definitely be watching the programme when it comes out!) Deadline to do a little video is 19th June.
twitter.com/Frans_facts/status/1267401373466996741

DS's first morning back today and DD's first day. Has been weird having the house so quiet! She went in really happily, despite saying she was nervous at home and wanting to get out all her "feelings books" - so I'm hoping she had a good day!