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Primary school Auties: into 2020! - thread 4

999 replies

LightTripper · 20/11/2019 10:44

This is the continuation of the thread for parents and carers of autistic children in Early Years and KS1. Most of us are parents of children in Reception or Year 1, but all welcome!

Here are the links to the previous threads:

Thread 1: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed

Thread 2: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2

Thread 3: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3

OP posts:
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16
LightTripper · 28/11/2019 14:04

Wow Harley just wow. Could you suggest that if there are spare spaces on the course the school could go along too? Not surprised you are feeling ready to rant. Maybe send them an article about autistic communication being different not worse? Clarity and being to the point are not detriments!

DD seems to be doing well... putting the tree up tomorrow night (will try to get it out of the loft tonight if I get time) which she always usually likes, so then it will feel properly Christmassy!

OP posts:
danni0509 · 28/11/2019 14:17

I'm really starting to worry ds is on a downward slope to being kicked out of school Sad

Incident after incident at pick up time, usually involving ds and violence of some sort although not always of a violent nature just doesn't realise his actions can hurt others iyswim. but today I've had a call from his class teacher (never have this. Well in reception I did when he cut his 1-1 with the scissors but usually it's a chat at the end of the day with his 1-1 letting me know of what it is that's happened) but today can I go in 15 minutes early, somethings happened, won't go into too much detail but they sound like they have had enough. (Rightly so)

Other child's parent has had to be called as it was serious and ds has been in the sensory room with his 1-1 most of the day.

So I'm leaving shortly to go in.

Gahhh! Hate being 'that' parent.

I feel like I will have to go in with a balaclava on or a body guard for protection for the Xmas concert in 2 weeks time or I'm going to have 90 yr 1 parents after me. (!)

X

danni0509 · 28/11/2019 14:18

Yes Harley talk about pot kettle, I would also suggest they attended the course too. CHEEKY!

openupmyeagereyes · 28/11/2019 14:28

danni I hope all’s ok. Everything being out of sync this time of the year is really tricky for them - remind them of that Flowers

danni0509 · 28/11/2019 15:52

To be fair, I went in and his teacher was fine with me about it. She said she wanted to speak face to face as she doesn't see me usually, so thought it was best to invite me in.

She said she had to phone the girls parents because of said incident. She didn't mention girls name I asked ds when in the car and he told me straight away.

So he's gone to the sensory room today to stop anymore incidents as he seemed overwhelmed etc etc.

She said they don't want to part him from the other children too much but too many near him or too much time spent with them and ds can't cope basically but they can't find the right balance with it at the minute.

She also mentioned xmas open and said so much going on, non uniform day almost every week / Xmas decs up / concert rehearsals / long school term.

Tbh that probably doesn't help, but I doubt it's the reason, we've had the hitting for years now. Just wish it would stop.

Today's incident was completely unprovoked, as are most. No rhyme no reason, that's what's so hard to work out. There are no triggers what so ever.

That's what they struggle with.

openupmyeagereyes · 28/11/2019 16:04

danni it could just be the noise and general closeness, who knows. It may not be obvious to an observer but there may still be something going on. Hopefully in time he can explain. I’m glad the school handled it well, anyway.

My ds was upset again this afternoon, he was trying to hit and bite his afternoon TA. Since he got older hitting has been a rare thing for him but he’s going through a phase of it at the moment, unfortunately. I’m hoping it passes soon.

openupmyeagereyes · 28/11/2019 16:08

Harley sorry ds is struggling too at the moment, it’s so upsetting. It sounds like the GP is supportive though so that’s good news.

I’m sorry the school is being insensitive. Is it possible they sent out the invite to everyone rather than you specifically?

Harleyisme · 28/11/2019 17:35

@open i wish it was it was addressed to the parents of ds and the invite had my first name on it.

I will be suggesting school go on the course might do them some good!

Awww @danni0509 so sorry to hear how ds is struggling at the moment. The school sound like they are trying. I hope ds finds it abit easier soon.

It seems to be that time of year that they struggle more. I put our tree up today ds isn't impressed wants to know why everything changes for Christmas.

livpotter · 28/11/2019 17:44

That's good to know light. Dd is quite unpredictable with what she finds scary, might be safer to watch it at home I think.
Love the idea of working 20 years for a laminator Grin

Love your positivity about the nits danni. Brilliant ds was so good about our. We've had to do two but treatments here and ds was very unhappy about it.
About the tables ds will pretty much only learn things visually, so if it's not been on number blocks he won't know it!
Have you considered asking for an emergency review of his EHCP? Do you think there is more they could put in place to help ds?

That's brilliant that ds is following the curriculum dimples and great about his hearing too!

Glad your dd is relaxed about her part in the play light. Hope she manages to stay calm with all the pre Christmas build up.
That tent looks amazing! Think I'd like one for myself. Whenever I see things like that for the kids I wonder how quickly and creatively ds could destroy it!

Sorry ds is a bit anxious at the moment open. It is such a tough time of the year, way too unpredictable. Hopefully he'll be a bit more relaxed nearer the end of term.

That's really bad they used ds's spare clothes Harley. Sorry ds (and you) are having a bad time at the moment. I would've been really offended if they'D offered a communication course!! The cheek.

livpotter · 28/11/2019 17:44

Wow that was a lot to catch up on!

LittleSwede · 28/11/2019 18:49

Have been reading and catching up (and smiled at requests for bells, ear wax videos etc) just haven't managed to post. Have a really bad toothache due to massive ulcer next to a tooth/molar with a recent 'very deep filling' so just a bit out of sorts. DD still grotty with cold and still battling with school about support. Will post properly tomorrow. Non uniform tomorrow, will see how that goes!

danni0509 · 28/11/2019 19:09

Little swede I get toothache quite a bit! I totally sympathise Thanks

dimples76 · 28/11/2019 19:29

We have non-uniform day tomorrow. The theme is rock stars - DS and I are rather non-plussed

openupmyeagereyes · 28/11/2019 21:47

I would be too dimples. Have you settled on anything?

danni0509 · 28/11/2019 22:02

I just ordered a book called 'hands are not for hitting'

Will try reading him that morning noon and night!

Although not sure it will have any affect, school have been reading him social stories about it all.

I suppose we shall soon see.

dimples76 · 28/11/2019 22:03

No, I think he's just going to wear normal clothes. Off duty rock star!

danni0509 · 28/11/2019 22:04

Teeth are not for biting, feet are not for kicking, voices are not for shouting. Etc etc

I'll have to work my way through buying the book list...

They do look nicely illustrated though!

danni0509 · 28/11/2019 22:10

Liv we have only just had his actual review first week back in year 1, not even had the final version of this years ehcp (its really no different to the first - it's more or less word on word of the last barring a couple of changed things) I got a draft and sent it back and haven't had final copy yet.

I'm not sure they could do anymore tbh, they already do an awful lot with / for him.

I'm going to speak to his 1-1 in the morning, she's the one I have a lot to do with and she knows ds like I do really. X

MapLand · 28/11/2019 22:38

Hello all, afraid I've missed a week of posts so forgive me I'm not up to date with everyone's news.

Dimples and swede (or anyone who does visual prompts!) would you mind putting up a photo of one please? Eg for dressing in morning or similar? I'd be really interest. Also got my eye on laminators!!

Stinker of a week at school for DS, we're all pretty wiped out.

openupmyeagereyes · 29/11/2019 06:35

danni we had hands are not for hitting and teeth are not for biting from when ds was little. I think I donated them a while back but wishing I hadn’t now!

Map sorry you’ve had a rough week. I hope ds is ok and measures are working. I have used visuals from Twinkl but you probably need a subscription. I’ve also got morning and evening routines from Amazon, similar to this (think it’s the same supplier) but slightly different visuals.

openupmyeagereyes · 29/11/2019 06:37

Picture. You get the Velcro strip with these ones but you can buy Velcro dots from Amazon too and attach these to a laminated page.

Primary school Auties: into 2020! - thread 4
livpotter · 29/11/2019 07:03

Hope you feel a bit better littleswede.

Good luck with all the non-uniform days today. I think day off rock star sounds like a good plan.

Ah I see danni. I think I should get those books too!

Mapland we still use first/then/later and use Velcro on all the visuals to swap them over easily. I either take photos with my phone or find images of things I want on the internet and add the name underneath. Ds is much more responsive to photos than drawings. I also like having the visuals on my phone in case we forget his visuals bag or I need to make one up quickly.

Primary school Auties: into 2020! - thread 4
Primary school Auties: into 2020! - thread 4
Primary school Auties: into 2020! - thread 4
dimples76 · 29/11/2019 07:17

I think I might have to see if I can get a Black Friday bargain laminator!

Map they way I am using it is that I have a large laminated chart with the days of the week in columns (I 'created' it and ordered it from a poster company). I have photos of school, home, Granny's house, swimming pool, park etc. And photos of my Mum and me (so he knows who is collecting him from school). Occasionally now I'm writing things too where I don't have a suitable pic e.g.for a party. I also have a now and next laminated sheet and picture cards which I got online to reinforce my instructions e.g. dinner then tv

LittleSwede hope that the toothache subsides soon. Danni hope that these behaviours improve soon. Harley that must be frustrating.

Open hope that the hitting subsides soon. I keep thinking that DS has grown out of it but then we hit another bad run.

danni0509 · 29/11/2019 09:59

We have these from eBay. I've got hundreds of cards (they have little Velcro dots on the back to stick on the now and next boards.)

I must admit I don't always use them though. Ds does understand some of / most of what I say as long as it's at his level. So I don't do the cards as much as maybe I should.

It's ok showing him a card to say get into bed but he understands me saying that and so on so I'm not sure if visuals are for him, although every bloody professional assumes he's autistic, so visuals it is!

Primary school Auties: into 2020! - thread 4
Primary school Auties: into 2020! - thread 4
danni0509 · 29/11/2019 10:01

I do think they are really helpful in some instances though, new situations / something he doesn't understand etc.

School use them all day with him.