Primary school Auties: into 2020! - thread 4

[LightTripper]

This is the continuation of the thread for parents and carers of autistic children in Early Years and KS1. Most of us are parents of children in Reception or Year 1, but all welcome!

Here are the links to the previous threads:

Thread 1: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed

Thread 2: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2

Thread 3: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3

Hope you had a great weekend at Drayton Dimples, sounds like your DS was enjoying himself on Saturday!

Liv hope the review went well and the amendments are for the better.

Hope everyone else has had a good weekend?

DD was ill with a heavy cold and cough all weekend, I've kept her off school today as she is still quite miserable.

Hope the rest of the weekend was just as good and coming home wasn't too tricky Dimples! You see, I think I've fallen a bit into the camp of thinking because her speech is good she doesn't need the visual prompts, but actually she finds these really useful at school, so I think I'm going to make her one for bedtime, one for getting dressed, and one for leaving the house, so she can just get her card and sort herself out (well, that's the theory!) I'm just wondering if it's worth me just getting a laminator for home. I really don't want more "stuff" but it's a pain to go out and find a shop for lots of fiddly little bits and they seem to be pretty cheap if you only need a small one.

We had a good weekend. Quite quiet. Went to Frozen II with DD's friend on Saturday and she went a bit hyper after but really enjoyed it (it also really plays well if you believe that theory that Elsa is actually autistic ... there is a whole Neurodiversity sub-plot going on possibly just in my head). We went swimming on Sunday which sometimes feels a bit like hard work, but after struggling to get out of the house (confirming my plan to make visual prompts ) it actually went well, DD tried some new stuff and we managed to get a seat in the cafe for brunch on the way home, despite being late, so all good!

I can't believe how close to Christmas we suddenly are.... yikes. Luckily we are switching to (non-secret) Santa for adults this year, which will really reduce shopping time and cost. DD is quite easy to buy for but DS is tricky as he gets so many hand-me-downs and really has all the toys, books, etc. that he could ever need, so we're always scratching about a bit for ideas!

strikethrough fail

liv fingers crossed for the EHCP changes. We haven’t had ds’ final EHCP yet, I think we approved it mid-October. I might have to chase them.

dimples I hope you enjoyed the rest of your trip.

Map hopefully you can squeeze in some decompression time for your ds. It’s tricky when you have so many groups of people you need to fit in.

Little I hope your dd is feeling better soon. This half term is definitely the worst for colds and bugs. Last year Ds had a constant snotty nose and was sent home from school a few times poorly. This year some of the dc are having time off sick every other week.

Light glad you had an enjoyable weekend. Ds hasn’t watched Frozen yet (he refused when I put it on) but he watched the first Lego movie all the way through for the first time and absolutely loved it. Lego is a big favourite at the moment.

Laminators are very cheap to get from the supermarket, we just have an a4 one.

We had a pretty good weekend but quite quiet. It was a disappointing trip to the ‘advent’ fayre on Sat as it wasn’t festive at all but quite alternative. Yesterday we went to an indoor play place which is SN’s friendly on Sunday mornings but not SN’s exclusive. Ds was very scared by an older teenager on one of the pieces of equipment. I say teenager but really she looked like an adult, so tricky to tell. It’s a shame as I don’t think we’ll be able to go back to that session as if he sees her again he will be very upset. Next time we go we will have to try Saturday morning but I’ve no idea how much busier it will be.

He’s gone into school fine today. So far, so good.

Mapland sorry missed your message as it was on the second page. The two week period is going to be a challenge here too. Hope you find time for regulation/decompression.

Light Sounds like a great weekend! Love the Elsa ASD link, DD adores Elsa. She truly believes in her and desperately wants to go to Norway to meet her. We have tickets books for Frozen this Sunday, ASD friendly screening.

Open Good strat to the week with your DS going in ok. Tricky with the teenager on the play equipment, maybe they should have an age limit or age appropriate sessions.

DD just chilling today, no meltdowns since yesterday morning (I've jinxed it now!)...

That sounds tricky mapland. We usually travel over Christmas but this year we are at home, feeling pretty relieved about it. Could you get him involved with the trip planning so that he feels a bit more in control of it?

Thanks littleswede, just nervously waiting for the results! Hope your dd is feeling a bit better.

Definitely get a laminator light, we use ours all the time. Makes doing visuals so much easier. I'm glad the visual prompts are working for dd.
We were thinking of going to frozen 2 but I've heard bits are a bit scary? Might have to wait for it to go to dvd.
The Elsa/ASD link had never occurred to me!

Thanks open. It's so annoying having to chase them the whole time!
Sorry about ds being scared on the weekend. Ds also loves the Lego movies, particularly Batman.

We are very into Numberblocks at the moment. The upshot is ds can now count to 100 and is starting to learn times tables.

I can't believe how quickly the run up to Christmas is going! Feeling very unprepared for it all.

liv ds only watches the first 17 minutes of Lego Batman, up to the Jerry McGuire clip then back to the beginning. No idea why . We’ve not watched it for a while so maybe he’d watch the whole thing now.

We haven’t watched number blocks for a while, I tend to put it on holiday mornings so we’ll probably get back to it then. It’s great your ds is already thinking about times tables

I think we’re pretty organised for Christmas in general but I still have a LOT of Christmas shopping to do plus several birthdays! Must book Santa train though.

Little I hope dd is better.

Wow Liv, times tables! DS loves Numberblocks too.

Santa was a bit confused by DS on Saturday.
Santa: What would you like for Christmas
DS: Bells
Santa: Bells, hmmm, anything other than bells
DS thinks long and hard: Doorbells!
Santa: Here's a little present for you
DS: Is it a bell?
Santa: No
DS: Oh .......thank you any way

Light we do non-secret Santa for adults too. It does make life so much simpler but means (as I am single) that I only get one present for Christmas - no pressure on the present giver!

I have parents evening today and DS (for the first time) is going home with a friend - feeling rather nervous but we've done a few playdates, the Mum is lovely, they live really near the school and I'll join them after about half an hour ...

That sounds like something ds would do open!

Glad you had a good time dimples. Love ds asking for a doorbell!

I think I'm at the stage of life where the less stuff I get the better. Having said that, I have just bought myself a laminator (we've asked for kitchen stuff in the Non-secret Santa). Just realised I still had some Amazon points from a long-service award thingy I got last year, so free!! (apart from the 20 years of my life I've given to my employer but hey, I got a laminator ). Looking forward to it arriving an unreasonable amount.

Hope DD is feeling better Little!

Love the bells wish Dimples - that feels like an achievable Christmas wish! Hope the play date goes well today!

I don't think Frozen 2 was that scary Liv. There is a bit of peril: there are some earth giants that stomp about and throw things, and a water horse that is pretty wild, but nothing as scary as the big snow monster in the first film I don't think. It would be good on TV too though, and I'm sure it won't be that long to wait, so that may be a safer bet! Times tables are very impressive!

We went to see the Adams family on an autism showing a fortnight ago, the autism showing was actually no different to an ordinary showing.

Luckily it wasn't busy it was the screen next door for toy story that was packed out. Phew!

We sat at the top at the back were no one else was sat and plied ds with pick n mix, he didn't watch the film just ate the sweets and threw quite a few and shouted a lot he's not really interested in films or anything other than watching a bit of peppa pig on the iPad but we keep trying to do different things with him such as the cinema to fill our repetitive weekends

We've had headlice here. Saturday morning I was just spraying and brushing ds hair (he has long hair!) and as I got to sorting his parting out I see a nit, I had a quick check and see a couple more so got some headrin stuff from Tesco and Saturday night put it on, problem is I've used a baby brush (one of those white soft bristled brushes) for years on ds head because he can't stand his hair being brushed or cut hence the shoulder length hair! Not sure how I managed it but after about 40 minutes in the bath with a head full of conditioner I persuaded him and managed to get a plastic nit comb gently through and removed everything else.

Then repeated Sunday and I think touch wood he's clear now. I'll have another check this week.

Big deal him letting me use a nit comb though! He doesn't let me do anything to his hair, absolutely hates his head being touched so I was super pleased! I'm unsure why he wasn't itching from having nits I would of never had known unless I see it, I think they were fairly new as he didn't have loads so maybe why.

Plus side is and it's actually the first thing I said - it means children have actually been near him!

Not so great yesterday, ds had a proper kick off and spat at my mum, full horrid kick off just because she pretended to cry when ds dropped her Xmas presents I had put in a bag for her, she said oh no ds don't break nans present I'll be sad and she pretended to cry so he got really mad and spat on her. Took over half an hour to calm him down. Mortifying!

She is very understanding of everything with ds and nothing phases her with what he says or does but it's so incredibly embarrassing when he behaves like that.

Liv ds can count quite far he's just rote learnt it but does get a bit muddled which sounds cute,

56,57,58,59, fifty ten!

He hasn't got a clue what a time's table is, that's great your ds can do that, he sounds super bright Ds can't add or anything I ask him what's 2 + 2 he says 14 and so on.

Dimples good luck with parents evening, we had ours in October. For us It was just a case of yes ds seems settled into yr 1, he has a different curriculum to the others etc and that was that, I thought it was way to early doing it 6 weeks into the new year tbh. Next one isn't until April.

Open ds watches number blocks at school, what have you in mind present wise for ds for Xmas?

Little I hope dd cold is better, ds has one from October till about February every year, always has! Just as I think it's calming down he's dripping snot again and barking like a dog, he's been like that since he was a baby.

Light We don't have a laminator I have so much shit under my bed in boxes I barely use so I didn't want to add to it, I had one and a printer in my amazon basket not long ago but swiftly removed, we get a lot of visuals from KanDoKids on eBay, really good quality and so cheap. So I will stick to him doing the hard work for me

Harley how are the school shenanigans?

Hello to anyone I've missed. X

A lot of year 1 have stomach bugs and are off sick, his 1-1 told me yesterday to keep an eye out for him being poorly because he kept holding his tummy so she wondered if he was getting something, then last night I realised he's holding his tummy when he's run around because he likes to feel the food swishing about

Danni I love your positive thinking about nits!

Light I am lucky that DS's requests are so modest.

Parents evening went well - I think his teacher has a v good understanding and a lot of affection for DS. Apart from handwriting he is able to follow the same curriculum as the rest of the class - I was really happy when she gave examples of how they incorporate movement breaks and other interventions without removing him from the class too much. Playdate went well too so feeling a bit more relaxed tonight. That said he has a hearing test in the morning and getting him to co-operate is always interesting ...

Sounds like a good day dimples!! I was thinking, does DS like trains? You can get these little magnetic bells for train sets that ding when the train goes past.... Might be fun?

Good luck with the nits danni, hope they stay gone but brilliant that DS let you comb his hair!

DD just told us she is King Caspar in the school nativity. She seemed v relaxed about it so we just go with it and see what happens I guess!! I hope the school confirm before the weekend as they'll doubtless want a costume...

Light, thank you he does like trains. My Mum is getting some accessories for the train set including a replacement bell as the original one never worked v well.

That's good that DD is relaxed about the nativity. Can't believe that it's all coming around so soon. There has been controversy on the yr1 parents WhatsApp group about the fact that not all children have lines - they do all have a 'moment' e.g. DS is on stage with a few other children being a dancing robin! I'm happy that it's not too pressurised for him.

Hello everyone
Sorry not been around. Everyones had that awful sickness bug.

School seem to be willing to work with me at the moment. Ds is doing 1 till 3.15 at presents and as long as he is doing ok every few days we up it by half an hour but if he struggles we take it back the half an hour.
Yesterday he struggled. It took me and the deputy 20 minutes to persude him to stop licking the door on the main entrance and go into school. One thing that did annoy me was that his ta asked him if she could borrow some of his spare clothes for another child who had a accident but then he ended up coming home wet. He then and a 20 minute meltdown and came out in this horrible itchy rash which seemed to have been caused by stress and anxiety. Luckily the rash has gone this morning and hes been left with 2 zits on his face. He also had 5 wee accidents yesterday which hes not had hardly any in last few weeks.

God, imagine having the energy left over to be upset that your child doesn't have a line ... how the other half live!

Glad school is working with you Harley, though it sounds like DS is still having a tough time. At least they are persuading not dragging now. There must be more they can do (and I agree not lending his clothes out so he ends up wet is a bit of a minimum ... surely they must have some spares?) Sounds like a good idea to just flex a little bit at a time and let him settle in each time.

dimples loving ds’ conversation with Father Christmas . Sounds like he will be easy to please this year. So glad that parents evening was good and that ds is making good progress. I would be so happy if ds was mostly keeping up with the other children but I think he has his own curriculum. It makes me wonder (again) if we did the right thing not holding him back a year.

Light at long service laminator. I’m sure it will be useful. King Caspar sounds like an excellent role, I hope dd feels comfortable performing this year.

danni sorry about the lice but great ds let you deal with them quickly. I’m dreading ds catching them, so far we’ve been lucky. Did you remember to do yours and dh’s hair? A friend of mine found out at the hairdressers that her Ds had given her nits. She was mortified, I’ve always dreaded that happening to me.

Ds’ Christmas list will likely be comprised of mostly Lego and Star Wars toys. I’ll get him to write it next week.

Harley glad school is working with you a bit and that ds is comfortable going in part of the day. Apart from the end of the school year, this is the most chaotic part of the year so not a bad time to scale down really.

Things are ok here. Ds is a bit unsettled at school still but the nativity prep takes up so much time it’s not surprising. There’s another week to go too so it won’t get any better.

He is still reluctant to go outside. We think that it’s anxiety. He’s fairly isolated at the moment. In the classroom but he has his area off the main room where he probably does a lot of his work. He goes in via the office door, and yesterday was asking to leave that way too. He eats lunch in the classroom and won’t go out in the playground willingly. I guess at this point everything just feels a bit chaotic to him and this is his way of coping. Hopefully in time he will gain back some confidence. I really hope so anyway.

Open Dh doesn't have any hair and I'm suprised I still have any but I did check mine and I am clear.

Ds' have gone now, I've checked his 3 times, I find it quite therapeutic to use the nit comb on him especially when I was getting them out! I was trying to find more I'm such a weirdo, but then I like to watch ear wax removal videos on YouTube, soooo!

I think I'm going to get ds an Alexa or something like that. I thought it would be good to teach him to ask questions, he does ask questions to a basic level but I thought it could help, I imagine he will probably love it. I'd obviously have to help him with what to ask but maybe it may teach him to ask on his own accord.

does anyone have one?

I got a letter this week to say the experienced senco is leaving school at Xmas and someone new is taking on the role. As long as nothing changes with ds that's fine. You never know though do you.

danni I want a smart speaker for Christmas but dh not keen as they listen to everything.

Oooh yes, I love those too danni

We haven't got Alexa, we're very late adopters of all things tech generally!!

Just saw this on another autism parenting site and wondered if it might be a go for any of our early risers? It's a tent thing you put on the bed to make a cosy cocoon. They have lots of different colours and a 30pc off thing popped up when I clicked the site...
www.privacypop.com/products/the-bed-tent?gclid=Cj0KCQiA2vjuBRCqARIsAJL5a-JdCvprxrV9vQvxi3aCAgKD7uU1v7ilvn3kkfqA_RQKJl6QJ0cH_RAaAszAEALw_wcB&utm_campaign=Ret%20%7C%20Non-Brand&utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=google&utm_term=Ret%20%7C%20Non-Brand

Danni I got DS an echo dot for his birthday (they're only £22 on Amazon this week). It is probably his favourite thing - afterall it will play church bells, doorbells, the White Stripes - My Doorbell as well as thankfully some other music. The weird thing is he keeps requesting different songs which I don't know how he knows about e.g. Brass in pocket by the Pretenders - I knew the song but not its title or who sang it. How does he know this stuff?!

Open DS finds the playground the toughest aspect of school too. DS is the oldest in his class (not that you'd ever guess it) and has FT 1:1 - I think if it weren't for those 2 things then it would be very different.

Light I agree with you about the other parents. I have muted the groupchat but when I see that there have been 40 messages in an hour I have to look! It is virtually always a storm in a teacup.

We had great news today, 3 years after DS failed his first hearing test and two grommet surgeries later the audiologist said that his hearing is now perfect. Unfortunately on the way to the hospital we had to call at the opticians as DS threw his glasses off in a temper and broke them.....it would be great if his vision improved too but now I'm just getting greedy

Bless him dimples no your not being greedy at all

@LightTripper I was pretty shocked when ds said mrs xxx asked if she could let child borrow my boxes so there might be one missing out of my bag. They dont seem to have any spares normally if children have accidents they are out into there pe kits.

We have had a rough few days with ds. the rash keeps coming and going hes constantly licking windows and caught him pulling his eye lashes out this morning. Hes being horrible to me. Tells me that i am horrible for making him do what he struggles with he screams at me refusing to do anything for me starting hitting out more.
We saw the doctor today who is more than willing to do a cahms referal but wants me to push school to get a EP in as she said cahms will say as its all around school the EP needs to deal with it and she said the EP needs to take us as parents seriously and see him going into school.

The school work with all different services and they know i have autism and anxiety. During ds reception class they refered us to child and well being team and also home-start to assess family life because of ds anxiety both services went back to school with full reports stating that our family life was good that my dcs have lots of input and support and that we do a lot as a family. One of the things they constantly throw out in meetings is how adults have communication issues too. I will admit i am straight to the point and sometimes forget if i don't plan and write what i need to discuss and sometimes takes me a little while to process. But that's just me its how i have been all my life i haven't need SALT or anything as i mange really well and if i am honest its not something that needs fixing its who i am. So yesterday i get a letter from school inviting me to attend a ladies only course to learn communication skills. I communicate with school i email i talk i keep them informed and i am up front with them they ignore me don't respond to emails often say i don't trust them and don't return my calls and they have the nerve to suggest i need to fix my communication skills. When will people stop trying to fix me i don't need bloody fixing.
Sorry for the rant

How is everyone else dc's doing? Hope they are all coping i know ds struggles this time of year