Primary school Auties: into 2020! - thread 4

[LightTripper]

This is the continuation of the thread for parents and carers of autistic children in Early Years and KS1. Most of us are parents of children in Reception or Year 1, but all welcome!

Here are the links to the previous threads:

Thread 1: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3080753-DS-with-ASD-starting-school-Sept-2018-I-am-feeling-overwhelmed

Thread 2: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3451020-Reception-auties-2018-19-thread-2

Thread 3: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/special_needs/3628263-Auties-transition-to-Year-1-thread-3

danni I think that’s great. All children spell phonetically at first, he’s doing really well.

We’ve just written ds’ list. Not too bad really. Phew. I found a letter writing pack we picked up last year in one of our boxes so we used that. It has the Royal Mail address on the envelope so you get a letter back if you post it before the cut off.

He was super excited when dh got the boxes down from the attic. It’s starting to feel Christmassy now. The Christmas mugs are on!

It sounds like Santa needs to do a bit more shopping danni

Santa is now skint open

We have been doing letters for santa and also set up our reverse advent calendar. After christmas it will be donated to the local food bank.

Oh no danni, though I’m sure he’ll love what you’ve got him.

Harley that’s lovely.

Ds did his homework this afternoon. He needed much less encouragement to stay on track. He wrote all the numbers himself though his formation needs quite a lot of work! Still, when he started school he could only write the first letter of his name so he’s made loads of progress for a child that largely eschews all mark making and craft activities. We decorated the salt dough ornaments, I’m going to glaze them tomorrow.

You can get cardboard Wendy-house type things pretty cheap. DD got given one a few Christmases ago and we've probably got it out and put it up 5 or 6 times for a couple of weeks at a time (it is now on its last legs so probably going in the bin shortly, but it's been good value!)
www.hobbycraft.co.uk/colour-in-cardboard-castle-playhouse-91cm/618595-1000?

But I'm sure he'll love what you've already got. I think the excitement of Christmas and new stuff generally overtakes any memory of what they actually asked for unless it's a very specific obsession, which none of those things sound like! That was really good of the school re: the fair though. His 1:1 sounds like a star! I laughed at the trainers story too...

That sounds great on homework open! DD's was easy this weekend thank goodness (making a pattern out of smarties then drawing it - the only tricky bit was not eating the smarties before she drew them!)

Sorry there have been some tough weeks. When do all the DC break up for Christmas?

Thanks Light x

Santa is skint but somehow always comes up with the money to buy more shit! Haha. Technically he gets his dla again before Xmas so I will get him one of those things off his list with that.

I just didn't assume he would write a list and tell me bits he wants this year, he didn't have a clue about xmas last year or any other year so I'd already been out and got his presents over the last few weeks. Although as you say it's not linked to any of his obsessions and he hasn't mentioned these things before. He would most likely have a different list if I got him to write another today.

I got my 1 stone award at weight watchers this morning! 5 weeks in. So pleased with that. Really got my head screwed on with this weight loss at the minute, long may it continue! I've got another 3 stone to lose to get me to 9st 7lb which is my goal. X

Harley that's a nice idea.

I always buy a few extra cheaper bits and put them in the Tesco food bank trolley. I put 2 selection boxes and an advent calendar in last week. And the week before I put 2 cartons of long life milk and a gravy and stuffing in. Makes me feel good helping others x

Light ds breaks up on the 18th. He wanted to wear his Christmas jumper to school today, in fact he thought there would be no school because it’s now ‘Christmas’ but he went in ok anyway.

danni many congratulations on the weight loss, that’s terrific . Also great that ds is more interested in Christmas this year. Makes it so much fun for you and dh. Ds threw me similarly yesterday. We went out to a Christmassy thing last night and ds saw dh wearing his hat and said the wanted to wear his hat. I hadn’t even got his hat and scarf out of storage because he refused to wear them most of last winter. Luckily this was as we were leaving so I was able to go and get them out.

Ds is very excited here. He told me that on Christmas Eve, after we’ve read a story and gone to bed he wants me to leave the curtains open so he can watch for Father Christmas 😍

It's actually a real milestone when you think about it danni isn't it, that he's so aware and remembers properly from last year? So I would take that as a win, and I'm sure he'll be very happy with what he gets on the day! Amazing work with the weight watchers. That's lovely re: the Food Bank - especially putting in something a bit special and not just basics (I mean, I know basics are important, but I think it must be pretty depressing if your kids can't have an advent calendar). I keep seeing that Dispatches clip and it's so upsetting.

Still reading and catching up. Went to GP with my mouth ulcers this morning as feeling really rubbish with it. Said they are rather large and prescribed some anti inflammatory mouthwash. Hopefully that will help.

Well done on weight loss danni and unlike your DS list for Father Christmas

That does sound like a great milestone for your DS open. It us confusing for them this time of year when one day is non uniform and the next one isn't!

Harley like that calendar, what a lovely idea.

Hope everyone else is having a good start to the week.

Unlike!! I meant I like danni

Sorry to hear of ulcers swede and hope the mouthwash does the trick.

Danni your DS list is amazing, great handwriting!

My DS is getting much more open to copying things I write, he's had huge resistance to it but it's easing off now and I feel so proud when I see him write a word

We've just begun our advent calendar a day late (!) DS is really excited about Christmas. He's been canvassing family members to buy him special-interest related gifts!!!

Ahh, that's great MapLand I think it's like so much ... when they're ready they're ready and their skills just snowball, but you never know when that point is going to come! Great that he is enjoying it more now and hopefully also enjoying his own progress!

Sorry you are still feeling rubbish Little. Hope the mouthwash does the trick.

Little I hope the mouthwash is helping.

Map great that ds has had a sudden leap in his writing. It’s so great to see these improvements isn’t it.

Ds did his first performance of the nativity today so I’m hoping we’ll get a chance to see him perform later this week (first performance is to KS2)🤞

That is great mapland

Hope your DD is enjoying the nativity prep Light.

DD hurt another child today for the first time. She was playing nicely with one little boy when a second bit wanted to join in. She pushed him away arm and left a red mark on his arm. The teacher dealt with it well but I feel this is just another reason why she needs a bit if support at play time. She's been more aggressive and lashing out at home since half term but I think it's all due to anxiety. Still, she's never hurt anyone but me or DH before so need to let this sink in.

Mouth ulcers improving with special mouth wash so feeling a bit better.

Yay for your DS first performance open did he enjoy it?

I think so Little. He never says much about school but this evening he showed us a bit of the different classes dances which was very sweet. Then he got embarrassed and wouldn’t do any more

I’m sorry that dd pushed someone today. I’m sure the anxiety is building as it comes to the end of term. It gets to a point where they really need the break.

Dh is watching the Royale Family Christmas special on Netflix

Swede sorry to hear your DD pushed someone. How are you feeling? My DS has recently started to hurt some other kids and I'm finding it v hard to accept.

Open well done to your DS in round one of the Nativity!

Ahh sorry Little. As you say, it looks like a reaction to stress. I hope they can get her a bit of playground support (or a quiet safe space she can go to if she's feeling overwhelmed, or just to make the playground time a bit shorter and give her a break?) Hopefully things will be calmer/better after Christmas too.

DD is massively enjoying her Nativity prep. She was actually singing to herself in bed this morning before she came down and it turns out it was one of the nativity songs. She's been relaxed/happy about costume, and even seems relaxed/happy about her lines. I still can't quite believe it but obviously I'm not showing DD basically any emotions at all - just "oh yes? that's lovely! what do you want on your toast?" I'm just terrified of ruining it and somehow making her anxious as it seems almost like a different girl to last year when she didn't want a line and was struggling to even stand up to sing with the others.... I guess it's normal, kids can do more things as they get older, but it just seems quite a big/sudden change, even since the start of term!

Doing the dance routines is so sweet open he must be enjoying it!

I'm finding quite hard too mapland, a combination of having to come to terms with this 'new' side of DD as well as frustration over the lack of support (which I think is part of the problem). I'm used to her lashing out at me as I'm her safe person but I'm trying to figure out if she's even aware that she hurt the other child and sorry for it or if she simply thinks it's 'ok' to hurt others because they get it her way/annoy her. And I'm of course ransacking myself and wondering if I've made the boundaries too unclear.

So lovely to hear that your DD is enjoying the Nativity prep light

@danni0509 Congratulations on the weight loss. Also its really good that ds is more interested in Christmas this year.

@openupmyeagereyes aww that's is lovely ds wants to watch for father Christmas so cute. Bless ds doing is Nativity dance routine.

@Mapland that's brilliant on ds and the writing well done to your ds.

@LittleSwede I hope your mouth is much better. Oh no on dd. How is she now? Its so hard when school don't offer the support the child need and such a fight.

@LightTripper Its so lovely that your dd is enjoying nativity prep.

My Ds is still struggling. We had school say he missed the Specialist teacher last week. We didn't even know they had requested anyone as we were told that they had to get us to sign a form of permission before they could request input. We took ds to his doctors appointment last week about a cahms referral the GP said she was willing to do but really they only deal with children needing medication now and that because of all of his anxiety and issues she says stems from school they aren't will reject the referral as he needs a new EP assessment doing . His ep assessment was done in January 2018 with targets and support for eyfs only. The school are saying he doesn't need a EP assessment doing and they are working on the previous one for support i have pointed out that it isnt uptodate enough and is not for his current needs. All the do is push his attendance they say they talk to people like la, speciality teacher and there advice is just he needs to be in school no support or anything for him, they also aren't using his now and next or visuals that his communication tool kits has in it and they have told the incontinence nurse they have his toilet visuals up in the year one toilets when they don't. They won't allow me in the class room or learning areas anymore as i can then see they aren't doing it. They sent ds home after 2 hours Monday soiled wet and so sore that he was struggling to walk properly then sent me a email saying that he had such a good day can he go in fro 3 hours i have told them that he cant continue to come home like this that they aren't even meeting his basic needs yet say he has his own ta. I have told them at the end of the day if it was us sending him into school the way he comes home they would be investigating us for neglect and abuse. They continue to say things like its because he doesn't tell us he needs changing or needs the toilet. Well they have been informed by us incontinence nurse and SALT that he wont do due to his communication issues so its one of his needs. They are being really nice now and are taking him the toilet again and filling his communication book in

Ugh Harley - that school! Unbelievable. It's worth you keeping a log of everything with dates and sharing with Sendiass I would have thought - have you heard anything from them recently? Or the LA person who seemed good? You might find they all have some time over Christmas given the schools will be closed, so you might have more chance of getting hold of them?

I'm glad they are taking him to the toilet and filling in the communication book for now at least. Maybe your home truths about the state they were sending him home in hit some nerves. Hopefully!

I'm sorry the school are still being difficult Harley I agree with Light that it's a good idea to keep a log. It is good that the communication book is used. How is your DS, is the part time table helping him to feel less stressed or anxious?

DD nearly didn't make it into school today, it was 9:52 by the time I signed her in. She is still saying she doesn't want people to play with her and even when she says no to them they keep trying (which is probably why she pushed the boy on Tuesday). I phoned the LA again on Tuesday as hadn't heard anything. Well, no one had picked up the case yet as her current case worker I on maternity. I did then however get the email address of person in charge and this person has now passed case to new case worker. Sigh!

Will catch up properly later.

Ds did his part in the performance this afternoon. He was brilliant, I cried! Now we need to persuade him to go back and do it again this evening so dh can see it but at least I have the video if he doesn’t