YOU TUBE BULLIES EXPELLED why was the thread removed ?

[mamadadawahwah]

Thanks to moms all over the world who saw the youtube videos of a young autistic man at Bournemouth and Poole college being taunted and baited by bullies, the videos were removed and the perpetrators have been expelled. There is talk of legal action and action taken with respect to the "rights of the child" and of course disability discrimination.

news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/england/dorset/6311477.stm www.bournemouthecho.co.uk/display.var.1155346.0.disgust_over_phone_clips_of_taunted_autistic_boy.php

I dont understand why the link i originally posted regarding the videos was removed, nor, as a parent of an autistic child, do i understand the comments that were made about not wanting them posted here. Having spoken about the links being removed to friends in the USA, they are at a loss, and chalked it up to being "in denial".

Here of ALL places was appropriate for the videos to be posted. As a parent, i want to know what is going on in our schools and I for one, made a huge stink about this incident as did hundreds of other parents who saw the videos and worried about this young man's emotional and physical safety.

Increasingly, i am coming to the conclusion that mumsnet must be a clique of the few vs the many, the few who seem to have sway over content and who have sway over the direction of threads. Maybe there is bullying going on in mumsnet? I know i have had some "choice" comments, that havent had much forethought, thrown at me, comments which were intentionally rude on a personal basis.

Whoever complained to mumsnet about the videos being posted here, they should think about WHY they were posted, so that parents could make complaints, get the videos off of the air and ensure that the perpetrators paid for what they did.

Turns out it was the americans who originally found these videos and it was the americans who were quoted in one of the newspaper reports as being in full support of this young lad and his family. The americans were talking about these videos well before we were in the UK.

Come on mumsnetters, get your head out of the sand. If that child had been my child, i would have expected better from fellow parents, i would have expected you to tackle this issue and do all you could to get the videos off the net and to make your voices heard.

Mumsnetters who use this board for most of their information would have been at a loss of even knowing the videos existed, seeing as they were removed from here.

If a mumsnetter found it painful to watch these videos, imagine how painful it must have been for the boy, much less his parents.

If parents dont stick together who will?? No one is going to change anything for our kids except parents and in this instance, it was parent power who brought these videos to a head and who had them removed and who got the kids expelled, possibly facing prosecution. On behalf of my own son who is autistic, i say thank you to those parents who used their voice and didnt put their head in the sand.

Yes, Jenk I can understand that, and agree that giving them more oxygen is just what they would want. I've just discussed this with dh and we wondered whether they would be ashamed in 10 years time. I hope so.

I'm also aware that when I watched it I'm a little removed as ds1 will never have to endure that (another advantage of special schools), and given what your son went through would fully support you in any request to remove the link.

oh jenk- that was the upsetting thing about one of the videos I saw, the boy had no idea that he was being taken advatage of (he did in other ones but didn't know how to stop them). It seemed to me to be worse for that, more of an abuse, like taking advantage of a child.

I do know from autism lists that children can be very good at "playing" (as in taunting) with those with AS. Often they're savvy enough to not be spotted, whilst the child with AS responding gets noticed and often in trouble.

I think the videos were such uncomfortable viewing that I would like them to be seen by everyone (if there was some way of removing the actual boy involved) so that people understand what their little darlings are capable of. I don't think anyone past teenage years coould have found them anything other than awful tbh. I'd like people to understand but not at the expense of the boy involved. I wanted to scoop him up to be honest and just get him out of there, god knows how his parents must be feeling.

Hi there,
We deleted the thread in question because, as one member pointed out, if it was our child being bullied in this way would we want the link to be posted around for all to see? We had a lot of sympathy with that position but equally mamadadawahwah and jimjams your arguments as to why it should be seen are powerful too.
It wasn't a question of it being distasteful and burying our heads in the sand - more trying show some sensitivity to another mum - after all we are a mums website.

Apologies if we made the wrong call, though, it was a marginal one and possibly ill-judged.
Best,
Mumsnet Towers

No I can understand that- think it is very grey area. I think if I was the child's parents I would want it pulled (Justine you know what I'm, like for asking you to pull threads when I think I've said too much).

I am very pleased that it is no longer on youtube.

I'm with MN HQ.

so am i.

and me

I am so glad that youtube have removed these video clips, having 2 kids on the spectrum, 1 of whom who has endured severe bullying, its a terrible thing to have happened. I am glad that mums have complained and had them removed, Im not sure how I stand on the video being on MN personally.

Can't bring myself to celebrate that the kids were expelled though, they're just kids. To me, that means 3 victims now, instead of 1. And yes of course I know i'll be villified dor that. So be it, its how I feel. These kids get their attitudes from somewhere, they need re-educating, not the stripping of their life chances.

Came to this late as usual, didnt see the original thread and link, but probably just as well.

I agree that its important to be able to discuss this, and Im glad if the bullies have been identified and dealt with because of it.

But what bothrs me is that the majority of people watch youtube clips for entertainment, and a hell of a lot will have seen this and laughed at it. I wouldnt like to think we were being part of that.

have been away this past few days and so have no idea what has been going on here but from my quick skim i have to say i would agree with MNHQ.

By all means give the details of teh clip so that people can complain but i dont think we need to watch the video in order to do that.

My son is bullied every day at school and i am told about it as if it is an achievment because he doesn't fight back.

typing that sentance has bought tears to my eyes.

I cannot imagine how soul destroying it would be to click onto MN and find a link to a film showing my son being bullied or abused and imagining vile teenagers giggling about it all over the world.

It is sick.
I fuly understand why you posted the link MMDDWW and i thank you for raising it to our attentions so that complaints can be made and things can get done about it, but on this i take MN's side.

What was reassuting is that I entioned this in Uni (the youtube hgeneration at its most evident) and the kids there were suitably horrified.

Something I found reassuring on YouTube was that there was only one coment which was something like "this is so fake, you are making it up, and if it isn't then you are sick why would you do that to someone who was disabled", and I did feel suitable cheered by that iyswim.

It was painful to watch the videos of that poor lad being tormented, but it was my choice to view and I'm glad I did. Of course it has made me worry even more for my ds's future, and the strong likelihood that he too will be bullied, but if the videos hadn't been shown in the first place, then that boy would just carry on the same, day after day, being the victim. At the very least he can now attend college knowing he won't be exposed to constant ridicule and the suspension of the bullies are sending a strong message to other students that this behaviour won't be tolerated.

Why would you be glad you watched a video of a boy being bullied??

""Why would you be glad you watched a video of a boy being bullied?? ""

LOTS OF PEOPLE ARE GLAD THEY WATCHED IT SO THAT THEY CAN PREVENT IT FROM HAPPENING TO THEIR OWN CHILDREN. NOT FOR THEIR ENJOYMENT.

I THINK IT IS SAD THAT SOME PARENTS ARE IN SUCH DENIAL THAT THEY EITHER DONT THINK IT COULD HAPPEN TO THEIR CHILD OR THEY KNOW IT'S HAPPENING BUT LOOK THE OTHER WAY.

NOT GENERALIZING ON PEOLE HERE, JUST GENERALIZING ON THE PEOPLE I HAVE MET PERSONALLY REGARDING THE SUBJECT.

I'm not in denial mon2asd, my son is at an SLD/PMLD school - he will transition from there to some sort of adult care service. It won't happen to him (thank god, and I did think thank god it won't when I watched it) because he will never ever be in the situation of being unchaperoned with NT kids/teens.

OK so 'glad' wasn't the best choice of word, and of course I wasn't enjoying seeing a child being bullied, it hurt me badly actually, it's been playing on my mind ever since. Personally I needed to see what really goes on within our schools, especially since my ds has ASD and I just know he's going to come across situations like this, I just want to be prepared. But I really don't like the way this thread and the other one is going,there's just no need for it

I don't need to see a boy being tormented to know that it can happen. I think it's ghoulishy voyeuristic to watch it when knowing what it is is quite enough. If the boys parents had posted the video and said "look at this" then that is different. But they didn't.

Presumably it only takes one or two complaints to YouTube and the college in question fro such a horrendous video to be taken don from YouTube and for the college to take action against students - and, if appropriate, the parenst of the boy to take legal action, or whatever. it doesn't need a huge web-based network of people all looking at the poor boy. If i was part of his family, that would add immeasurably to the pain.

Not because I wanted the issue buried or covered up, but because his suffering and humiliation does not need to be on public show in order for the issue to be discussed.

I can understand your anger about the bullying and need for the issue to be made public and discussed, MDWW and m2asd, but I don't think that's the same thing as exposing the poor young man even more. He would be very publicly idetified and exposed - an autistic person at a particula college - his privacy and anonimity has been robbed by this extended exposure!

I think MNHQ made the right decision.

I would also protest, report or do anything in my power to take action against bullies of SN students.

mum2asd i dont like that sentence that you used "I THINK IT IS SAD THAT SOME PARENTS ARE IN SUCH DENIAL THAT THEY EITHER DONT THINK IT COULD HAPPEN TO THEIR CHILD OR THEY KNOW IT'S HAPPENING BUT LOOK THE OTHER WAY."

I dont think any of us is In Denial on special needs, we all know about the dangers and threats/bullying that ALL children with SN face everyday not just those with an ASD.

I dont NEED to watch a video of a child being bullied, i dont think of myself as looking the other way either, every day i live with my son who was bullied for ages and i see what it does/has done to children with SN.

you cant go around accusing parents on here of being in denial just because they dont want to watch a link to a video, every one has their own opinions and thats fine but you cant be aggresive and nasty because people dont say the same things as you, this forum is for SUPPORTING parents,not for being aggressive and trying to cause trouble.

Jenk said "....trying to cause trouble". Well what is trouble? in your definition?

What this started out with was a link to videos, which were then removed so that debate could not continue. Jenk, you made a comment in another thread about "that thread being removed (video) with a "wink" emoticon.

What does that mean? What do you think I as a mumsnetter thought about the fact that the discussion was removed? NObody bothered to ask. It was surrepticiously removed with no explanation. Lets back track a little here and look at what really happened.

To me, that is a case for denial of this incident. If you can't see it, its not happening, etc etc.

I don't want to see my next door neighbour's kid be abused by a sex abuser either, or the same kid being assaulted, or someone being murdered. But if it was on youtube, i would be the first to complain about it. I would want others to know, so that in numbers, youtube could be shut down for good. If only one person saw the videos, could it be assured that that one person would do something about it??

The person who saw the videos was in the states and let others know so that it could be sent over here for people in the UK, who know who to contact, to do something about it, in NUMBERS!

Do you want to tell me how that is "trouble". ?

WHY IS THERE SO MUCH SHOUTING TODAY????