I know there is a starting secondary school thread somewhere but I cant find it and really need some flaps and honks!

[Ineedmorepatience]

Dd3's stress levels are going through the roof and I know why but cant do anything to help

We cut our holiday short this week because she was going downhill fast and didnt want to stay. I had planned to be away until Friday so she was occupied and not thinking about it.

She has melted down this morning over not being able to have a coloured door key, apparently our lock is too old And over not wanting me to have a cushion on the sofa!!

We need to make a new visual timetable for the mornings but not sure its a good idea, what do you all think?

Thanks polter. I am really nervous about it. It seems I have a 10 min slot to make sure they get DD while making sure I don't come across as an over protecting mother. Hopefully my good friend adrenaline will kick in!
I find it so tough to advocate for my dc through such sensitive meetings in which you need such good social skills. I have to deploy all my strength as I myself can find communicating and interacting so stressful!

I find face to face meetings really hard too, although I have a feeling I might need one to move past the AT thing because emailing isnt getting across how pissed off unhappy I am with them

I have been labelled as over protective by people all through Dd3's school life but do you know what... I dont care, I know how to do my job as her parent!! Can they say the same about their jobs as her teachers?? Mostly, I think not

Thanks guys. This is the only place I can say these things and people get it. . Writing is so much better for me too.but sometimes as you say a face to face is needed. The school has actually called this one and I am pleased they did, it is needed.

Good luck molly

Goodluck Molly with your meeting today.

We find meetings like this go better if we make a list of things we want the school to do.

First of all I think you need to make it clear that it is support from school that is needed rather than it being your responsibility to force her into school when she is school refusing.

Then make a request for what extra support you think your daughter needs.- I guess scrolling through this thread will give you an idea of the support that is making a difference to Ineeds and Polters children. For my two it would be all about reducing anxiety levels and making sure staff understand that though they are articulate they have major communication difficulties and find it extremely difficult to ask for help when they need it.

Finally, if you don't cover what you need to in the ten minutes (which seems to me to be ridiculously short) do not be afraid to ask for an additional, longer meeting.

Thanks oneineight
Just had the meeting and I am blown away by the team. They know DD, they are doing loads with her and they are really nice. This school has not even got a specific reputation for Sen,but they know their stuff. I didn't have to ask for anything, they are already doing it. It was so hard for us to choose where to send DD, but this is definitely the best place for her..

Great news molly

I have had a good reply from the trip organiser today, agreeing that mistakes were made and that Dd3 did not get the correct level of supervision ie none.

He also says he is going to look out how they communicate the needs of children on trips in future to ensure this doesnt happen again!!

I think I am happy with that what do you all think?

Flippin heck though, I feel like I am on a roller coaster, all the time!!!

I finally got the requested national curriculum levels today only to find Dd3 has made one SUB level of progress in writing since yr 4!! FGS, so now I need to decide if I am going to accelerate my complaint about the lying senco at the primary school or just walk away and let her carry on damaging our precious kids

That sounds really reassuring Molly and hope the interventions will help.

Glad school have realised they messed up Ineed and apologised and hopefully, procedures will be tightened. Do you have any levels from the secondary school as that might be an independent assessment of your dd's progress (or not). I guess your best bet is to show a difference between aptitude and attainment or could you draw a pretty graph to show slowing down of progress as she moved up the school.

Love the pretty graph idea one !

I can get the current levels from the school parent portal thingy, that is a good idea.

We raised the aptitude v's attainment thing at the last tribunal but didnt make a big thing of it because I had a lot of other evidence so didnt need to, I will definitely be using it this time. That is one of the reasons I requested the NC data.

I

Ooops pressed the button too soon.

I think she was at the top end of the early learning goals and she was 3's in yr 2 although I disputed that for writing and still do but I am not going to say that in tribunal!!

Yeah I know polter, the levels I have been sent are all from primary. She has effectively made no progress at all last yr

I have looked at the data on the secondary parent portal and her levels are still the same now. Which is fine, more evidence for me but a shame that she has been so badly failed by the primary!

Yep, Dd3 says the same

Hello tonight girls. Feeling low :-( The constant struggles dc face just overwhelm at times :-( Is it possible to stop your dc from worrying about things? I can't seem to help reduce dc's worrying :-( 1 severe worrier, 1 mid and 1 that I just can't work out.

Hi frazzled Dd3 gets very anxious about all kinds of stuff too We have not had much luck in reducing this anxiety but what we do is give her lots of down time.

She gets very tired and that seems to make the anxiety worse, or it could be the other way round.

The SALT that she worked with in primary school recommended that she is seen by a clinical psychologist but we havent managed to convince the paed to refer her yet. We see a new paed on Thursday so fingers crossed.

I know polter has used the "What do do when you worry too much" book but it wasnt the right thing for Dd3.

I am sure she will come back with her awesome book list later

Thanks polter and ineed
The episode was all over a geography test dd was having the following day. Major strop/meltdown/anger/tears. "I'm rubbish at geography, I can't do it, it's just stuipd" ... etc, etc. Cue today, turns out she got an A*, 59 out of 61! As she always does. I just don't understand the anxiety about things that she clearly can do. Major tears tonight from ds whose homework looked like a spider crawled all over his page as his handwriting was so bad. Big talk from me about his hypermobility/sensory issues, wrist muscles, brain co-ordination etc didn't make much difference :-( However, demonstration of my messy brain working too fast writing, then my very concentrated neater writing, made him laugh and cheer up
Having awful time with Dd1 (age 15), doesn't like being different, doesn't want help with schoolwork (using white paper when others have work on coloured, she can't due to sensory/dyslexia type issues), people talking about her odd glasses (coloured lens due to sensory issues), hates school, has no friends, everything's bad enough without me making it worse by wanting to get her assessed and access more help
Why, oh why, do they trouble us so much?