Just back from our latest campervan trip. In some ways it was a success. DS1 was asleep by 9pm - away from home he usually can't settle/sleep at all (last 2 trips to a hotel he's been up screaming at midnight and clawing at the door for example).
But it was sooooo difficult. Because ds1 cannot go outside the van without someone to hold his had (and because he wanted to be out all the time). It meant that one person had to go off with him whilst the other one had to look after a 3 year old, a 7 month old and do all the cooking etc. All the jobs that needed doing (toilet emptying, washing up etc) could only be done once ds1 was settled so tended to be done about 10.30. Couldn't have a shower except at night. Obviously could hardly have a conversation with dh. And of course once outside ds1 doesn't want to do anything conventional - he wants to walk some route he;s set up, sniff fans in the shop, have a 10 second visit tot the washing machine, flit into the diabled toilet and flit off somewhere else. DS2 wanted to go to the playground and half the time had to wait because there was no-one to take him- one person couldnt manage ds1 and ds2.
The kids all loved it, but I hated the person the stress turned me into. Usually I can kind of switch off from the screaming but I found it really hard in such a small, enclosed space. And the constant flittiness of ds1 and his need to go out and then trying to set boundaries (no you can't go into that person's tend, walk down the back of that caravan etc).
Ds1 loved the holiday so much he cried when we got home.
So we will go again, but only with him, and we'll take the other 2 on a separate holiday. Of course I realise we are very lucky to even have that option. With 2 adults to ds1 alone its entirely manageable. We can't take a week off and do day trips from home because we struggle to think of anywhere ds1 can manage, and then we still have to manage 3 of them- 2 with a totally different agenda to ds1.
When I think back to when ds1 was 2- we went to France (ferry trips went off the agenda after last years trip to Ireland), we were able to sit on the beach with a bucket and spade (haven't managed to do that since), stay in a cottage (screams all the time now), eat in a restaurant and various cafes (havent done that for years). Our world seems to be shrinking and I struggle to think of anything we can do as a family now. We can't even vist any of dh's family (too far away- so nowhere we can stay, for his sister, and his parents are a ferry ride or plane ride away- both impossible).
I know we're not the only ones in this situation (hello Davros), but feeling mightily fed up with it all and a bit self-indulgent.. Seems a bt of shame we can;t even manage to do something that ds1 enjoys (there aren't many things that fit that category!)
Anyway now we keep being taken outside to look at the campervan. We're back early and I hope the owners pick it up early otherwise we're going to be doing a lot of walking up and down the street.