Thanks Basin - I suspect it is much the same scenario as you are having with your DH, which as you say is much easier to get a handle on.
I do tell her how many syns are in something and how many she's had already if she wants a treat, purely so she can keep track - I always emphasise that it is her choice whether to have what she wants and if she feels she needs to go over her syns occasionally it's OK, but I think she's anticipating me being judgy/disappointed (I'm really not...about anything much tbh!) so she's being a bit sneaky.
If I make some treat bags up, she can be in control and I don't need to remind her how many syns she's having as it'll be a given.
This is so much more important to me than her losing weight. I love her to bits and don't want her to have to go through life always worrying about how people perceive her, whether clothes will fit, not wanting her photo taken etc. It just takes so much joy out of things.
I really don't want to be worried about what she's eating at secondary school or having to tell her she needs to take a packed lunch because I cant trust her to make good choices, when all the other kids are using the canteen.
Sorry for the rant...she's so like me that I can't help but blame myself and it breaks my heart that I've not a grip before now and been a better role model.
How's your DH getting on now Basin?