Slumber Party...The Sleep Deprivation Support Thread

[InmaculadaConcepcion]

We're all in this together... how about a bit of mutual schadenfreude/grim humour/shared agony as we blearily stumble through another day...

Hi SAA - the plane ride might go better than you think. I stressed about it when we did Spain/Eng and back again, but actually DD was pretty good. Fed her going up and down and did the 5S thing to get her sleepy - the drone of the engines also helped. I also gave her a wee bit of paracetamol before we got the flight to guard against pressure headaches - anyway, seemed to work, she didn't have any problems.
And even if it IS a bit of a nightmare, at least it's only a short flight! The crew might let you stand with you LO in the galley area if he starts creating, they did with my DD (not that she created for long).

Also, Spanish houses tend to be well-shuttered, so you may find you can black out rooms for your DS' sleep more easily than in the UK.

Where are you off to? If you're passing Madrid, feel free to drop in (!)

Well, this last week has been better at Casa IC - my insomnia not so bad and the IBS just about ignorable. Last night was annoying 'cos I got an attack of throat-clearing necessity, which kept me awake from 0400 and I only really got a short snooze after that. DD wasn't too bad, (woke up her usual every couple of hours, but resettled quickly each time) - I really am my own worst enemy.

Oops, DD's just woken up...better go...

SAA, hope the vacc go ok and your LO is not too unsettled afterwards.
Re flying: IME, BF babies travel very easily - much easier than a toddler or 2
Feed when going up or down, and pat and shoosh to sleep. Engine noise is a Wonderful Thing and in fact I have in the past been tempted to try and record it for future use but was never organised enough to actually do it.

DS4 slept from 1030pm to 7am ! I had to pick myself up from the floor this morning. I think it must be the 3 months magic kicking in as I have certainly not been doing anything different. And he is currently asleep in his own bed (!) for a daytime nap (again ). So maybe there is an end in sight afterall??

Re throat clearing IC: see, that is why my babes get kicked out moved to their own rooms very early on and I co-sleep part of the night with them but have my own bed to escape to if/when things are going well .

How is everybody else doing today?

DD woke up LOADS last night - lost count of the times. In the end I took her in with me, which doesn't usually work as she generally fidgets worse than ever, but this time she did seem content to lie fairly still and use me as a human dummy (real dummies were roundly rejected - I think she's weaning herself off them....saves me doing it, but they were useful for encouraging sleep....).

So, yes, rather knackered. But OK. I think the shitty week I had with the insomnia has taught me to be grateful for small mercies...!

Blimey, PDW - that's awesome! 5 hours in a go is the most DD has ever managed and that's before midnight.... Way to go!

PDW - Wow. Did you manage to sleep too? The only time that AmateurBaby managed to sleep that long (although wasn't strictly as I could hear him waking up, fidgeting around and then going back to sleep), I barely slept a wink - a combination of holding my breath for when he was going to wake up, worry that something was wrong and the fact that my boobs were like teak by about 5am... Long may it continue for you - here's toasting 3 months. I still have four days to go - a big nights sleep would be a great wedding anniversary present.. Our night was 5 wake ups. Joy.

IC -sorry that you didn't get much kip either. I did co-sleep with DS for a bit, but like you, he usually ended up wriggling more - and I think in your words somewhere using me as an 'all night snack bar', and then not really being hungry come morning. Thanks for reassurance about the flight. We're off to a friends place in Menorca so I'll sprinkle sleepy dust from the plane as we fly over Madrid.

Oh I remember the times lying awake at night, virtually holding my breath, just waiting for the increasing fidgeting that would herald DS1 waking himself up screaming. Life with him as a baby was just horrible - nothing had prepared me for him. He is now 7 and still a drama queen .
I used to get so annoyed with myself if I could've slept but couldn't out of shear anticipation of the next wail which of course may or may not have come.

The darling child is currently battling with daytime nap: v tired, on boob for 2 min, appears fast aslepp, transfer to Amby (with dummy, natch), still appears unconscious - startles and wakes after about 5 min. And repeat. So far 3 repeats.

Have a great holiday, SAA.

Oh, is this a competitive non-sleeping baby support thread!

DS 22 months, occasionally sleeps through 7.30-5.30

Often randomly awake in the night, and needs me with him before he will go back to sleep. Sometimes awake for hours.

DD 6 months. Wakes once or twice a night to feed.

I have heard that apparently it gets better?

Welcome longwayfromhome! Yes competitive non sleeping to balance out all those rl sleeping through the night conversations which we are unable to join in. My DS woke at 1am last night and then had the odd catnap through till 7. My arm aches from all the patting... Feeling sorry for myself. Hoping it was the effect of immunisations, although he didn't seem particularly bothered. Smiling and not crying but awake. Unlike me.

Not a competition anyone wants to keep winning!!

Hi longway, welcome to the thread of Bags And Blear.

Oh, SAA, so sorry your feeling low - REALLY know that feeling. Thanks for the sleepy dust - huge sympathy in your direction...

Very little sleep for me too. DD took an hour to get to sleep, then woke up loads. Tried the co-sleeping thing (same bed) again, but not convinced it's actually improving the situation. Think I'll go back to DD staying in her little side bit of the bed tonight.

Solidarity to all...

IC your LO's sleep patterns sound a bit like mine. Do you bf her back to sleep? I'm fairly sure that most of DS' wakings (must have been at least 8 last night) are not due to hunger so I try to resettle sometimes without. he doesn't cry when he wakes, just widgets and fidgets around. And smiles at me which I know means we're doomed for a long resettle...Either way, he doesn't last any longer with a bf than without so not much use. It's depressing when I find myself envious of people with only 3 night time wake ups! Yup, a competition I would happily lose every night

Sympathies to all with horrible nights.

Please let this not be a competition - I live with competitive people (sibling rivraly, anyone?) and MN is my refuge

And pretty please may I stay even though my nights are ok but DS Will NOT Sleep During The Day unless on boob. I am typing whilst jiggling DS in stretchy wrap to persuade him to sleep. He has been up since 7am. He is 3 months old tomorrow. .

I had to abandon co-sleeping when it got to the point were he was latched on/holding nipple in mouth literally the entire night. It really improved all our sleeps when I turfed him out.
Not saying you should, but worked for this babe.

Now for naps....

can i join this thread please? my three week old is very sleepy during the mornings and gets progressively more unsettled during the afternoons ending in screaming early evening followed by a few hours sleep which ends around 1am when he wakes for hourly feeds / crying till the morning. Every night seems to be me dropping off sat upwards leaning back against a pillow whilst he lies after a breastfeed snoozing on the breastfeeding pillow (because he is close to my tummy and therefore warm and can sleep I guess). As soon as I lay him back down so I can lie down he wakes up and complains, so I sit up again, start to breastfeed, next thing I look at the clock and another hour has gone by whilst my head has been lolling in the upright seated position and he snoozes close to my tummy. I know I know I know this is all wrong and the breastfeeding experts would be very disapproving but that is the cycle I am in. dearest husband makes "helpful" comments during the night from his lying down position (jealous) next to me like "is he hungry"... (gggrrrr)!!!
oh to lie down during the night, i just long for it. i cannot sleep during the day just walk round like a zombie. i try to resist an urge to chain drink extra strong tea during the day (cannot be good for the baby for mum to drink too much caffiene whilst breastfeeding). If i could just wake him up during the mornings that might help....

Ah, the DH/DP 'is he hungry/ I think he's hungry' comments. Gotta love them! Welcome redblue - those early days of constant feeding are so hard, but it seems to get better for most. Although not for some of those in this thread!

PDW glad you are staying even though yr nights are better. You can give us hope. Conversely, I seem to be having much better luck with the naps. DS could previously only sleep in sling but is now settling in his cot. Really don't want to jinx that. Only thing keeping me sane as previously I was having to use sling outside for all daytime sleep so I know how frustrating and exhausting the naptime blues are. Although I'm now rather housebound as haven't worked out how to do new routine and have a life (or whatever semblance of one new mothers have...).Swings and roundabouts I guess. now need to check on him as he's been asleep an awfully long time for him- almost 2 hrs! Think he was exhausted after his fun and games last night. Good sleeps all..

Hi redblue - you could be describing my own DD in her early weeks, except her problem wasn't hunger, it was wind (caused by lactose overload...but that's another story) - anyway, same deal as you, I was propped up on pillows all night with DD snoozing on my chest. Ho hum. If it makes you feel better, by about six weeks, she finally consented to sleep somewhere other than on me.... find out what I did here
Chances are, this will soon pass and you WILL be able to put your LO down to sleep, thus retrieving a bit of your life and a lot more sleep....
Oh, and congratulations, by the way!

SAA you could also be describing my DD! EXACTLY the same, including that sinking feeling when she smiles at me in the middle of the night(!), cute though it is. Yes, I BF her and TRY to put her down sleepy but not asleep, but don't always succeed. She used to settle herself quite well (often with the help of the Dreaded Dummy) but not now. I'm blaming the 4 month sleep regression and just hoping this phase will be behind us soon. Napping is still ok - which means I at least have a smiley, cheery baby for most of the day, so that's something. Some people don't even have that and my heart goes out to them.

Found this online and guess what? It grew out of a MN thread almost exactly like this one...!

Hijacking this thread as I was too tired at 4 this morning to realise it existed and started a new one! dd3 is 4 months and feeds every 2 hoursish in night, but this week has started waking at 4 and wanting to play. 1st night I used it as an opportunity to do some ironing but now I can barely function in the day.

She is fed to sleep so if she doesn't want feeding she WON'T sleep! Had a lovely nap whilst at the hairdressers this morning though - her not me!

And what's this 4 month sleep regression business - I don't like the sound of that dd1&2 were all nighters by now this is all new to me!

No hijacking necessary, Hiccups, anyone is welcome to join!
Check this out for info about the 4 month sleep regression. It certainly doesn't affect all babies, but it seems a significant number do change their sleeping habits at this time.

Over on the Sleep Is For The Weak blog, they list sleep regressions/growth spurts/developmental spurts under "Excuses" (ie for babies not sleeping) - in other words, these things may well have nothing to do with our babies being rubbish sleepers. But it's quite comforting to be able to say "Ah, it must be the X,Y or Z spurt/regression" because then at least you tell yourself it won't be long before they're through it...

Thanks for that - seems to make sense!

I totally agree that a lot of the quoted 'reasons' for babies not sleeping are 'excuses' or something to lean on while you struggle to get on with it. Like 'colic' - nobody really knows what that is.

Having survived screaming No1 who just yelled his entire first year (or so it seemed at the time) also needed v little sleep yet still turned into a sensible human being I am optimistic for this one. Well, mostly . DS1 is now 7 and still a drama queen.

Just back from Ds4's 3rd visit to chiropracter for cranio-sacral therapy. Not sure whether it is her magic touch or him just growing up a bit, but nights have clearly improved since we've been going so I will maintain my open mind and wallet and go again when he is 18 weeks as she suggested.

Welcome, all exhausted mummies

mmm...chocolate....so necessary for mums!

PDW, what is the cranio stuff meant to do, out of (genuine) interest?

InmaculadaConcepcion thanks for sharing your experiences it is so good to know about similar experiences going on / having happened in the past out there
Have some green & blacks chocolate (I have every flavour!) goodness knows I have got through truck loads of the stuff since my gorgeous feeding-all-night son arrived, it is a miracle that my weight has not continued to go up since I gave birth!!
anyone else find it impossible to sleep during the day? the whole "sleep when your baby sleeps" sounds good to me but I have never managed it, not with my first baby daughter and not with my 3 week old son, so far...

So all hope is not lost for our non sleeping DCs? Think will have given me a few grey hairs though. Glad that the regressions might just be an excuse. To be honest, the thought of night sleep getting any worse reduces me to tears. Glad that the cranial is hvinv some impact PDW. we've been going for a while and though he is v smiley afterwards, I've not noticed a huge difference- although I guess naps have improved a lot since we've been. Perhaps we could start identifying some progressions rather than regressions?. Give us hope that there is sleep at the end of this particular tunnel..

www.craniosacral.co.uk/Here is more information on cranio-sacral therapy for babies.
It does to me seem to be something you have to 'believe' in rather than grounded in current scientific knowledge - but equally I do not believe that current scientific knowledge knows everything (and I am a medic so entitled to my scepticism ).

Ds4 is currently asleep in sling but also [sigh] as of course he is sleeping on me.

Wishing you all a good night.

Very interesting. I've become a keen advocate of osteopathy since being helped by it a few times, so wouldn't dismiss something like this out of hand by any means. Therapies involving touch are often very effective, anyway.

Well, DD took an hour to settle again this evening and as an experiment I didn't swaddle her (I've only been swaddling her quite lightly anyway). I kind of did PUPD (on the breast) then the Pantley Pull Off, stay and soothe a bit then leave DD to it for a short while then repeat until she finally fell asleep. Bless her, she doesn't tend to cry, just whimpers. Anyway, she fell asleep about 20.00. We'll see what kind of a night we have...

And no, redblue, daysleeping is not something I do easily either, although I manage the odd power nap here and there...

Sleepy dust to all!

redblue so with you on the day sleeping. Drives me mad when people say it. For a start, until last week,DS would only sleep when walked in a sling. Not conducive to my sleep. Now I still can't sleep even though he's in his cot. Grrr

Day sleeping not an option once you have other kids anyway...

Took from 8-11.30 last night to settle DS, meh. He is SO tired but just will not give in to it. I cannot count the times I put him down asleep and he startles himself awake again - inpsite of baby straightjacket swaddling.
Then slept all night, I am almost embarrassed to admit on this thread.

And oh yes, the DH/my father/FIL/random strangers when confronted with crying baby: oh, he is hungry, isn't he? Eh no, he needs a sleep but won't.

Have a good day, all!

Pleased to say we had a much better nights sleep last night (soz) mostly thanks to accidentally feedings dd on 1 side for most of the night so when she woke at 4 again i had 1 enormous boob that sent her to sleep.
i 2nd the sleeping in sling thing - get a bit touched out by the end of the day!