Slumber Party...The Sleep Deprivation Support Thread

[InmaculadaConcepcion]

We're all in this together... how about a bit of mutual schadenfreude/grim humour/shared agony as we blearily stumble through another day...

Another newbie to this thread looking for company: DS2 is 7mo and waking every 2 hours. Goes down well and can even settle himself to start with, but no chance in the night. Have tried sending DH in at night to settle him but the only thing that works reliably is boob.

I'm back at work (so I can sit at my desk and drink coffee rather than running round after small fry). Trouble is, DS2 isn't convinced about formula and I'm sure drinks the bare minimum and catches up at home. He's also learning to crawl so likes to practise when he wakes up then gets frustrated.

Don't want to try CC yet because DS2 is only separated from DS1 by a curtain - no room for cot in any other room. However he's yet to spend a full night in it as he always ends up in with us. DS1 was a better sleeper by this stage - yes, I know they're all different and mustn't compare them but it's the only yardstick I have!

So you see, I know all the theoretical reasons but all I want is sleep! Too knackered to be consistent at night, that's my problem.

YAAAAWN

Welcome, BlueChampagne! Oof, tough having to keep the brain in work mode on fragmented sleep... thank goodness for caffeine!

I think your next window to try a little CC is about 9.5 months... but I can see your prob with the room sharing. Your DS2 might surprise you - I know my sis was going to do CC with her DD2 at that age when she moved into a room with a sibling and her DD2 needed hardly any of it before she was sleeping ok. (on the other hand...!)

As for us, DD had a 05.30 poo fest today... filled her nappy then decimated no fewer than three changing mats - just what you need at that time of day! As you can imagine getting her back to sleep after that was a challenge, but we got there sometime after 06.00 (for another hour-ish, anyway).

Decided I could handle early waking if DD didn't also wake four or five times before that as well.... TTSP, TTSP etc...!

G'day cronies in zombieland...

Sleep was strangely better last night - DD woke up after 45 mins (about 20.45) but instead of resettling her, DH got her up (claiming she looked too wide awake to go straight back to sleep) so I thought, what the hell and took her back downstairs to hang out with the grown-ups while we ate. My BIL was a huge hit, made DD laugh loads, which was very entertaining for the rest of us. Anyway, she eventually went back down when I went to bed shortly after 22.00 then only woke twice before she was up just before 07.00. She took a little longer to resettle after the 05.00 wake-up, but not too bad. Funnily enough, I actually feel more tired today, despite getting a little more sleep than recently!

Anyway, think I'm going to be a bit more free-form about bed-time and just see what happens... We're on holiday, so it's a bit tough to stick to a rigid regime in any case...

How's everyone else doing?

InmaculadaConcepcion that's interesting - that's about the age DS1 started sleeping through reliably. Hopefully his brother will follow in his footsteps. Not convinced at the moment! What makes you say 9.5 months tho'?

We co-slept last night and although I still got woken up several times, I feel better today.

We're thinking of putting the travel cot up downstairs this weekend to shield DS1 a bit.

Hi BC
9.5 months is apparently a good-ish time to start sleep training because by then you've hopefully got through the 8-9 month developmental spurt, which can make sleep training well-nigh impossible (too much other stuff going on to learn another new skill). Also, the CC experts tend to put this age down as the youngest at which to try CC - younger than that and the baby theoretically doesn't understand that mummy hasn't abandoned him/her forever (and therefore goes to sleep out of despair) - at least, that's what I've read!
Glad you were feeling better - hope you still are!

The last few days I've been putting DD down much later to bed and after about three hours of awake time (previously it wouldn't be more than 2) - consequently, fewer wake-ups in the night, interestingly. Only one last night between 21.30 and 06.00 - two 4-hour sleep stretches in a row, which was previously unheard of. Then she snoozed and suckled sleepily until 08.00 when I put her in bed beside me. I feel a tad revived!! This was also after some monster in-car naps - about four hours in total (one of 2.5 hours). It's hard to say if the later to bed strategy is what's having the effect or whether it's just coincidence. Who knows?!

As for my own sleep, I'm going to see a hypnotherapist today in the hope it'll help with my recurrent insomnia/IBS problems... I'll let you know how it goes.

DS2 only woke once on Friday night, so was on the way to feeling like a new woman on Saturday, but sadly it didn't last. 9.5 months puts us towards the end of Sept, but which time everyone will be back in their groove after hols, so sounds like a good plan to muddle through till then. Thanks for the tips InmaculadaConcepcion and hope things carry on improving for you and your DD.

Hello again, & hi to BC!

Well I've been away a bit, DD had the chickenpox and then we were away for the weekend... and sadly her sleep has gone a bit haywire again, though she did have quite a good night on Sat. I am wondering if she's teething, as the pox didn't seem to bother her that much and is over now, but she still slept really badly last night! Cried so hard I ended up feeding her twice to help her settle, even though I don't think she really needs any night feeds any more, let alone 2... hope she won't start getting dependent on boob to sleep now, that would be worse than the dummy! Am hoping it is just temporary and that suddenly a tooth will sprout and it all go calmer again...

IC sounds like you may be getting some progress, hope you are onto something!

Thanks BC, same to you...

Also thanks MNIIM. Get well soon to your DD!

Teething is starting to happen here, but still early days and so far not causing too much distress.

Funnily enough, DD went to bed at 19.20 last night and when I totalled up her sleep, it came to the same amount as the previous night when she went to bed at 21.40. Tonight she had a late nap that ended just after 18.00, so another later bed-time. We'll see what occurs....

Hi all and welcome Bluechampagne

I've been a bit quiet got a bit as we've been on baby bootcamp- operation dummy ditch and half unswaddle. Hard hard hard work and not much fun but the good news is that dummy has now been gone for 5 days and he is sleeping in a sleeping bag with one arm out (and occaisionally when I'm feeling really brave two..). I'm so proud of him!

He is settling ok for naps with a bit of grumbling, although as you found, mynameis, they are definitely a big short (not that they were ever very long anyway). Evening settling a bit more touch and go, and then he has been waking for his dreamfeed and then a couple more times- mainly he has resettled himself so far. So it feels like progress. Who knows how long it will last- he is starting to teeth and we've got his final jabs today so heading for a bad night I think.

Hope sleep improves again Mynameis and that this is just a very brief phase. Also hoe your successes continue IC. the travelling obviously suits your DD. Interesting to hear your later vestiges are working. I often find that DS being very slightly on the overtired side helps him settle quicker at bedtime. Although the opposite for naps..

Er bedtimes not vestiges. Pesky predictive text. Apologies for other typos- managed to smash my iPhone screen and as a result struggling to see what I write properly! Oops.

Hi SAA - good stuff on the dummy and swaddle-weaning... excellent!!

DD is now out of her swaddle and in a Peke Moe sleeping sack (arms free to move, but not outside the sack) and she seems to be fine - naps are happening very well not even in the PM, just in whatever she's wearing at the time and a light cover over her. Dummy is now minimal and only needed here and there for settling, so that's all good. She's been a bit better at going back down the last few nights (although still waking up 5 times or so), so that feels like progress too. Are we now through the 4moSR, I wonder?!!

Mind you, I can see a tooth lurking below her gum, so no doubt that will be the next thing to contend with...

"vestiges" for "bedtime" - nice!!

Angeldog - have you tried the 'swaddle graduate' for your baby? Like a normal grobag, but with a flap thing that you wrap round their arms. Seems like a good happy medium to wean them off. Worked for my older child at 7 months (now 2.7) xx

Cor - no posts for a week - is everyone on holiday/too knackered/actually getting some sleep?! Just seen threads on 8 month and 9 month sleep regression ... think I'm just going to give up and go back to feeding on demand. It's pretty slick these days, so maximises amount of sleep everyone gets.

Hi bluechampagne! still here but knackered and been at my parents all week. They've not discovered broadband yet and dial up is too painfully slow for MN. Our sleep regression is definitely not over. On the plus side we've been dummy free for two whole weeks. Clever boy.. He also managed to sleep for a while in the car home from my parents, which is unheard of. There may yet be hope..

Oh just been busy BC

Plus, we have started to have a few better nights again (well, a bit!) so less need to whinge about them!

We were still having lots of ups and downs, and I had been wondering too about dropping the night feed (usually between 4 and 5.30am) as I didn't think she was really hungry then any more, but never quite dared as it seemed to get her back to sleep nicely. But then we had one night where she woke and fed at 5.30 but then sang for the next 1 1/2 hours instead of going back to sleep(!) so decided there wasn't much point feeding if she wasn't hungry and didn't go back to sleep anyway!

So the next night, when she woke I gave her a dummy (a bit nervously as didn't want her to get hooked on it again) and she sucked on it happily and didn't cry until getting-up time, though I'm not sure whether she went back to sleep. Then last night she woke around 6 but wasn't crying, so I didn't feed or give the dummy and she just burbled quite happily until 7 when I got her up and fed her. So looks like we are rid of the night feed!

She does still keep us awake when she "sings" so early, but she is nearly 6 months now so can go in her own room soon where it will disturb us less, then we can just ignore it as long as she is happy and not crying - that's what we did with DS and he gradually got used to waking later of his own accord.

We are still getting some middle-of-the-night wakings some nights, when I have to help her back to sleep, so might keep her in our room for a bit longer until those are better so I don't have to keep getting up; but it's all good progress!

IC well done for being dummy-free, after 2 weeks it sounds like you are well off it!

Well, we went up to 3x per night over the weekend, between midnight and 7am, and he's 8 months! He doesn't even sleep much in the day; guess that's just him.

Glad to hear others are making progress thought - it gives me hope.

Well I just had one of my worst nights ever

Went to bed and then couldn't get to sleep for ages, for no obvious reason. Then when I had finally dropped off, I got woken up at 1.30ish by DD, then at 2.30 by DS - it was his first-ever night sleeping in a "big boy bed", and he slept surprisingly well overall but lost his comforter down the side of the bed at that point and was crying for it!

Then at 3.30 DD kicked off again... at 4.30 DH(!) woke me cos he was sleeping with his arm over his head and clanking on the metal bedframe! And then at 5.30 DD decided it was time to get up, and sang songs to us until nearly 7 even though she wasn't hungry... I gave her a dummy again (with some misgivings) but although it quietened her down a bit, it didn't help her back to sleep.... and I daren't give her it any more times soon in case she starts expecting it again!

Oh well... am hoping that was just a blip and that we are still generally making progress (please!!!).

Nope, still here - just busy and having to queue for the computer...

Bad luck, MNIIM - but hopefully it was an isolated one and your entire family won't conspire to keep you awake tonight...

Haven't got rid of the dummy entirely, DD still needs it to settle for naps and for the first bed-time settle (although not always), but refuses the dummy overnight pretty much as routine, so I seldom offer it. Trouble is, at times (when she's not resettling quickly), I'm having to be a human dummy for her to get back off to sleep. Luckily I can mostly do this so that I stay pretty relaxed and once DD's gone back to sleep, can usually sink back down myself fairly quickly. So all in all, although still sleep deprived, I don't feel too bad about it at the moment. DD's currently replaced long overnight resettlings with early wake-ups - which are slightly preferable (though not ideal).

DD is now 6 months old, so theoretically I could put her in another room. But while she's waking up and being fed back to sleep so much, it's probably better for my own sleep if she's within easy reach.

Hey ho. I hope everyone else's situation is improving a bit. Or preferably a lot...

I hope everyone has deserted the thread because they are no longer sleep deprived!

I've been away, hence no posts for a while. DD wasn't TOO bad while on holiday, even got to a point when her awakenings were reducing and I was starting to feel like I was almost (ALMOST!) getting enough sleep at last.

Last night - first night back in our flat - was hideous, though. I hope it's not the shape of things to come...

Meanwhile, I went to the hypnotherapist to help with my own insomnia and I am definitely seeing an improvement there. So that's something.

Hello,please may I join you? My ds is only 7/nearly 8 weeks, he doesnt sleep very much during the day and doesnt have much any pattern. Night time- for a week we were going 5/6 hours. The 6wk growth spurt I am blaming his current grumpy just making 3 hours between feeds persona on. I am exhausted. He is not at the stage where I can settle him in his crib. But can transfer him as long as he is conk out. My insomnia is not good, pregnancy was bliss I slept so well now I feel crap without sleep and if I manage more than 5 hours max (thanks to dp) I feel even worse. I just cant sleep when ds does :( sorry rather longer rant post than intended. Have had 2 coffee's today

Welcome littlesister! Bad luck to have to join the thread...

If it's any comfort, what you describe is probably familiar to the majority of parents of newborns and the likelihood is things will settle down in the coming few weeks. I remember finding it tough to get DD to nap during the day at that age, but it wasn't long before she was doing so. If you look at AngelDog's various posts in this section she has a lot of suggestions for naps - as does Igglybuff.

Often at that age you can go by the clock - for example, our DD couldn't go more than 45mins without needing a sleep (even if that sleep was only ten mins or so) - very young babies can't handle being awake for very long at all. Try putting him down for a nap after no more than an hour from when he's previously woken. Does he fall asleep in the sling/pram when you're out and about? Note the time when he does so to give you a clue about his wakeful pattern.

Also, look for the Dr Karp method of soothing a baby (good stuff on Youtube, especially an extract from the Richard and Judy show), that can work wonders for getting them off to sleep.

Whether you can then put them down after that depends on your baby! Our DD started to nap when rocked in the pram at around 8 weeks or so - also being rocked in our arms or on our laps.

Keep trying with the crib, but it takes a while before they're ready to accept that kind of environment for sleep. Having said that, I could finally start putting my DD down in her baby mattress at around the age your DS is, it probably won't be much longer before you can do the same.

And try swaddling, if you haven't already. Even if they don't seem to like it initially, they often quickly accept it and I found DD slept better swaddled after initially hating it.

HTH!!

And congratulations, btw!

Incidentally, you do get used to functioning on less sleep! I now count 5 hours (in total) as a reasonable amount. Part of that came with accepting that less sleep would be my lot for a while and to try and stop stressing about it.

Having said that, much less than a total of 5 hours and I'm a mess...

And of course, always remember:

THIS TOO SHALL PASS!!!

InmaculadaConcepcion thank you for your lovely post- I breathed a sigh of relief, its not just me!
I had 2 cups of coffee yesterday so whilst ds slept from 12 til 5.45(woohoo!)I was rather awake. Note to self 2 cups is too much.
Will have a look youtube for Dr Karp when ds is asleep.
I am going to carry on holding him to sleep then putting him down in his crib at night and rocker during the day. He does tend to sleep whilst we are out in the pram, carseat, carrier.

I feel terrible because I cant read him very well. I still dont really know what his different cries mean. Its a lot of guess work for me. It does make me feel like a bad mother- I know that sounds ridiculous.
I think as you say I will just go by the clock more. I dont have to worry if he is hungry that is a sign I can hear very well!

Thank you again. Will report back asap

Lola

Don't worry lola, lots of mums can't tell one cry from another, doesn't make you rubbish! Not sure I can really pinpoint different cries, although I'm much better at reading DD now - but she's 7 months so I've had time to get to know her better!

Sounds like you're doing the right thing and actually, your DS is already shaping up to be a reasonable little sleeper [fingers crossed emoticon] from what you say - 12 - 5.45 counts as sleeping through, you know!! My DD has NEVER done that.

Amen to less coffee. Only drink it during the morning, stick to decaffeinated later on (maternal insomnia is a real bummer and loads of us get it to some degree...really frustrating when the baby's sweetly and silently asleep beside you!!) - have a cup of chamomile or valerian tea instead!!

I look forward to hearing how he and you get on!