Slumber Party...The Sleep Deprivation Support Thread

[InmaculadaConcepcion]

We're all in this together... how about a bit of mutual schadenfreude/grim humour/shared agony as we blearily stumble through another day...

Do you think that these developmental milestones that are meant to affect babies sleeping could be to blame for some of our sleep problems? I mean, to our babies, what is not huge to us is to them? at 6 months they have milestones every day don't they, really?just an idea as, DS has been trying to crawl, and today he crawled backwards!

His sleep pattern last night

7:30pm alseep
10:15pm - awake bottle asleep
2am - awake bm alseep
3am - awake cuddle sleep
4am awake cuddle sleep
4:30am awake bm sleep
5:45am - awake bm in bed doze
6am awake.
Marginally better than the previous nights, and I went to sleep straight after he fed at 10:15pm so got almost 3.5 hours sleep straight.

Oh, I never thought I would be happy with 3.5hours sleep .

Anyone out there had any better nights?

congrats WF - I know what you mean about being pleased with 3 and a half hours straight. In another life that would have made me unable to function for a week. No better night for me I'm afraid although one small triumph. I'd been trying to settle him since about half five with no luck. Not crying but awake widgeting and practising his gurgle. I'd given up and gone back to bed in desperation- with DH urging me to just leave him. Ten minutes later, he fell back asleep on his own, no dummy, no nothing (DH now things he has won that particular battle..) Erratic little things these babies. It slightly compensated for last night when he woke about half an hour after going to sleep at 7 and was inconsolable until fed again (quite unlike him- we can usually easily resettle at this time because he's just had a big feed). My parents are offering to babysit this eve but now I'm a bit more nervous about that.

I think developmental milestones could definitely have something to do with it. Or could be preventing it improving. I also wonder if they are a bit more unsettled in this hot weather. I certainly sleep worse.

3.5 hours straight!! Yes, on this thread that is something worth celebrating! Lucky you. As for the rest...

Oh MNIIM, dummy hell.... You're very brave doing the cold turkey thing. Fingers crossed it won't take too much longer before it works...

Who knows why some babies are so sleepless? Although it is a cultural thing to expect infants/children to sleep 12 hours straight, apparently. And breastfed babies tend to be more wakeful as well. And the developmental things/teething/illness etc. etc.... Meanwhile, we mums are hot behind the eyes and daytime zombies...

Meh, I've got another cold coming. DD avoided the last one, not sure if she'll stay clear of another one. I've asked DH to take over the night shift resettling if I get a cough and I'll move into the spare room until it's gone. Last time I kept waking up DD when I coughed and my paranoia about doing so definitely contributed to the insomnia I had. Plan is DH will come and get me when DD needs feeding/resettling (but any prolonged tummy patting or dummying will be his department for the duration...)

DD was very restless last night, seemed to wake or get fidgety every hour. Not sure if it was the possible onset of a cold (she's been a bit sneezy and coughy, but not unhappy and her nose is still clear), or she was a bit too hot in her swaddle or neither of the above. Who can tell?? She fed frequently, which suggests either that she was thirsty (as well as hungry at times) which supports the too hot theory or that she had a dry throat (cold theory).

So no, not a better night - but I picked up bits and bobs of sleep, so it could have been worse

yes, the weather, definitely. Too hot for a sleeping bag, temp drops too cold to have nothing and DS kicks off his blanket.

I don't think the lack of sleep affects their development as much as people think you know. DD slept badly, and she rolled at 3.5 months, crawled, can't remember but early, stood at 7months, walked before 1. Her sole purpose as a baby was to get moving in any way she could (and climbing) talked early (can't shut her up now, took us 5 mins to get her off the phone to her uncle to wish him happy birthday, she was sat, absent mindedly playing with a bit of fluff on the floor, legs up against the wall chattering on about Madagascar) potty trained at 2, etc etc. She has toooo much energy. I was hoping this little boy would be different as he is quite chilled. But appears No!

Hello WF! Sorry you are struggling too...

I definitely think you are right about the development thing. DD learned to roll recently and it definitely hit her sleep for a bit, she would wake in the night and lie there trying to roll!

IC hope your cold doesn't get too bad. Make the most of the spare room though, it makes all the difference getting a bit more sleep!

Well we finally have some GOOD news! After a horrible day when DD never managed to nap for more than 20 minutes (and then only after ages of crying horribly and having to be cuddled and soothed loads), we had our best night for weeks and weeks!

It took me a while to settle her, but she wasn't crying as much as for the naps and was having calmer spells in between. Gave her her dreamfeed at 10.30 and she settled beautifully after it even though she wasn't fully asleep, then we went to bed and next thing I knew, it was 4.20am! Even then, she wasn't screaming but mostly just gurgling and sucking on her comforter at first; then when she started whinging a bit I fed her (not sure she really needed it, but I thought it might be a good idea) and then she went back to sleep in her crib until 6.40! Couldn't believe it. I was joking with DH last night about dosing her with Calpol to encourage her to sleep, hope he doesn't think I really did!

This morning we are still wrestling with naps though, can't get her to sleep more than 20 mins at a stretch and only after lots and lots of crying, but seeing so much improvement in her night sleep is giving me the encouragement to stick at it! Hope you all get some better sleep soon too (and that ours lasts...).

mynameis oh that is good news. It is amazing how little sleep will make us feel good. I no longer long for 10 hours like i did pre-children , so you had a lot. I hope it keeps up.

Congratulations MyNameIs - hope this marks a turning point. Good luck with today's naps.

Yay, MNIIM!! You earned that one!!

shhhhhhhh

DS took 9 oz of milk. He was going to sleep, ran out of milk at 5oz (he has only just started taking a bottle, only ever took 4oz, although more last night, but not this much) so i gave him a dummy, he uses it very occasionally, but he cried and cried and clearly wanted to sleep but wanted milk too, so I gave him more and he drank it ALL. Still not asleep so I wrapped him in a blanket nice and tight (he has only got a nappy on) and put him in his carseat (he likes it) in front of the tv with his big sister. That was at 11:30am. He drifted to sleep, lovely and calm, on his own, and he is still asleep.

So, his big sister and I had lunch at 12:45pm, and now she is asleep on the sofa, next to him sucking his dummy hey whatever it takes eh? I have been stood in the kitchen sort of wondering what to do now . If I sleep, they will wake so I won't jinx it, i have some cleaning to do, but the place is reasonably sorted, so I shall sit and enjoy a peaceful cuppa and watch an adult programme.

I will not get excited, i will not get excited, i will not get excited

Enjoy it while it lasts, though WF!!

Here's to an excellent night's sleep to all!

(or as much as possible, anyway)

he slept for 4 hours! I should probably have woken him really. Then he slept for 30 mins between 6-6:30pm.

And now he is asleep again on me, ready for bed, late as we were out to dinner. I am really crap at this routine business. So, I expect long naps, coupled with too late to bed, means a terrible night I wish I could be someone who stayed in every evening to ensure the children never went over their bedtime by a jot. But it has never been thus, and I guess never will

he had an uber nap!!!

11:30am asleep in car seat, swaddled, went off on his own.
3:00pm wakes up!
3:15pm - late lunch! ate half normal amount.
6pm, nap after tea and milk for about 30 mins.
8pm - bed late, nappy change, pjs, bm and bed.
10:30pm - DH gives him a bottle (8oz) dream feed.
12:45am - crying, seems unsettled, settles immediately when i pick him up, No milk.
3:45am wake, into bed, milk, sleep.
4:30am awakes again, in to bed, more milk as won't settle. boob and back to sleep.
4:45am DD gets into bed with us, has a cough. creeps in, snuggles, lovely. Bashes DS on the head with her elbow, cue him opening his eyes, seeing her, laughing as he loves seeing her in the morning.

The morning starts.

oh well, it started perfectly, maybe we can get the morning bit sorted soon, i can't ask for the moon on a stick and be surprised when i don't get it eh?

So I should have had 8 hours of broken sleep. But after 12:45am, when i had been sleeping soundly, i did not really sleep, but sort of fitfully tossed and turned, worrying that I was not sleeping, that this might be my only chance for a good nights sleep for a while and I was blowing it! but at least I managed to get a good sleep between 8:30pm and 12:45am, with just a brief waking at 10:30pm when DH made some noise.

oh and I sent DD back to bed, and she has spent the last hour popping her head out of her door every 10 mins going 'is it morning yet?' 'no it is not, back to bed' 'oh, ok' !

he did well then going from 10.30 to 3.45. how was everyone else's night?

we had another hour and half wake at 2 am but i didn't stay with him this timme - just kept going in overy 10mins to turn on his music light (with the light blocked out) until he was tired enough to roll onto his side at 3.30. Didn't wake then until 5.20 so not bad i guess. Still ongoing lack of sleep combined with hormones fromm dropping breast feeding is making me a bit teary at the mo..

nosleep i remember when DD stopped breastfeeding, around 10 months i guess, i was very tearful for about 3 weeks. I cried a lot. That middle of the night period is so lonely though isn't it? When I am awake at that time, i despair of everything. Everything in the world seems so bad and I struggle to go on. I feel better in the morning when it is light even with lack of sleep than at that time.

I hate this constant tired feeling. Its the kind of tired that even a nap of two hours just cannot shift. I have resorted to putting some fake tan on my face just to try to even out the horrid purple bags under my eyes.

talking of naps. DS napped for two hours, we woke up about 10 mins ago. It took me sleeping beside him, and letting him suckle to sleep, and he woke twice and I let him suckle again, but he needed it badly, and so did I. So, our routine is a bit screwed, but hey, as long as we are sleeping.

WF, I know that lying awake feeling well - it sucks! Especially when the DC is silently, sweetly asleep beside you...
Still...these long naps are looking promising, WF, eh? Definitely cling to that as a good sign, I'd say!

Fake tan? I'll bear it in mind. At the moment, concealer and mascara are my friends.

Nice stint you got there!

Last night was rubbish for sleep in Casa IC, though. DD has definitely got a cold, although she's quite cheery with it (lots of snotting, sneezing and coughing, though).

She went down like an angel at 19.00, then woke up at 21.30, 22.30. 00.30 etc. (lost count after that), remaining awake for an hour and a half after 0200 (restless with the cold, I think) and then did a mucousy vomageddon all over me, the sheet, the swaddle, my pillow.... Delightful. Cue 03.30 bedroom overhaul and shower. Like I said, DD just grinned, didn't seem too bothered (was I imagining her laughing at us??!!)

Got her back to sleep towards 0400, then she woke again at 05.15 (fed back fast) then again at 06.00 whereupon a poosplosion meant knackered mummy had to haul her arse out of bed again to do a nappy change. Eventually got her back down to sleep, then retired to the spare room.

In between times, a very loud storm kept me awake (came around twice) - although didn't disturb DD, luckily - and my own cold (DD and I must have caught them at the same time) stopped me sleeping the rest of the time. Hence decamping into the spare room (kept needing to cough, which always wakes up DD).

I feel surprisingly cheerful today, though - even though I think I was lucky to get a total of two hours sleep. Don't know how long it'll last. Until the first minor crisis, no doubt...

sorry for the mixed nights all, although WF does sound like you are having napping improvements.

2am was clearly the witching hr last night. Took about an hr and a half for DS to finally resettle when I managed to feed him to sleep. But... That was the only wake after 11pm dreamfeed. Or only one where he needed me. I heard him widgeting a bit after that but he seemed to manage to get himself back to sleep until 7. Which is a major result. Of course, a combination of the heat plus my listening out for him meant I didn't really sleep but still, I woke with a minor feeling of triumph.

Concealer is my best friend although I was so tired last night, I'm not sure I managed to take off yesterdays makeup. Unless my blabk bags have turned really scarily black. Anyone elses tiredness make their eyes feel hot and scratchy and like they'd be a lot more comfortable if you could just take them out and rinse them off in cold water? And that's without IC's cold.

Why has everyone on my street decided to drill loudly today just when I'm trying to persuade DS to nap? surely it is too hot for drilling?

Sorry you are all still struggling! Such I hope your DS really is making progress though!

We were back on the bad sleep again after our one good night sadly...
She woke at 1.40, then wouldn't settle till after 3 though I tried everything, and she was just crying horribly Was very tempted to give dummy back, but knew it wouldn't solve anything long-term. I think she was just mega overtired after having really rubbish naps all day - most times I could only get her to sleep for 20-30 mins at a time without the dummy, and only after trying for ages.

Then she woke again at 4 (but at least managed to gop back to sleep quite well that time), woke me again at 5 although she didn't fully wake herself, and then started the day at 6...

Today we are trying some long walks, in the hope she can catch up on sleep a bit in the pushchair and might be less restless tonight. Though it means less progress on learning to nap without the dummy, as I haven't put her down in the crib all day so far.

Really hope Weds night was a sign of progress and last night just a brief setback, rather than the other way round! - especially as we have visitors for the weekend, so they may get woken up, and we can't retreat to the spare room till they're gone!

ta for the tissue. luckily i have a very good friend round the corner who cheered me up and lent me her 4 yr old to entertain dd2 all afternoon (they are best friends). Dh has offered to do all of tonight ,sat and sun nights but i'm not sure the control freak in me can let him, nice though the offer is.

IC omg that is just horrendous you poor thing. I really feel for you. Hwow is she this evening?

That feeling fine, its a weird one isn't it. Mostly i am hanging after a terrible night, but every now and then I get the ability to ride it without effect. A few months ago, when DS was still newborn (sigh) he was feeding hourly through the night, and every now and again 2 hourly, i was so upset at the prospect of doing it all night, by 2am I was up, I could not face going to sleep. Just could not do it, only to drop off then wake again immediately to feed a very hungry boy. So I got up. And then I had a shower, tidied the kitchen, the bathroom, put make up on, got dressed, put on washing, dishwasher, folded clothes, and by 4:30am I was watching back episodes of shows I had missed. And the little sod slept through it! Then I was too afraid of going to bed in case he then woke up and felt stupidly good. So, by 7:15am, DD, DS and I were in sainsburys cafe having breakfast before i did the shopping! I went to bed at 9pm that night, and was fine all day. in fact, i sort of glowed!!!!! Never, ever to be repeated mind, must have been the last of my baby hormone having a surge!

Just marking my place... too tired to post

Sorry I've been away for a while been planning dds christening on Sunday (just in time for England v Germany ). Nice to see some new faces tho.

So dd now has thrush and as you can see by the time doesn't want to sleep, just put boob in mouth then pull away whilst still sucking . Been to docs and she gave us nystatin (sp?) told me to put it on my boobs which I sceptically did only to find it stuck my breast pad to my nipple so really loving the pulling away thing.

Plus dd has decided she won't go to dh so he is sitting in other room watching prison break having been asleep on sofa since 8pm as he came home via the pub tonight.

Someone tell me there is light at the end of the tunnel as all I have to look forward to is rubbish football and my mil telling me I'm making a rod for my own back

No repeat triumphs for me last night: hourly wakings and long resettlings. Yawn.

Hope you managed the spare room NoSleep although am completely with you on the control freakery. I may try spare room tonight.

Lol at your crack of dawn breakfast in Sainsburys WT. And really sorry up hear about the thrush and the football clash, Hiccups - not what you need. Hope it gets better soon. I am sure there is light at the end of the tunnel- although I certainly can't see it yet..

Because of the current global financial crisis and in the interests of saving energy and protecting the environment, the light at the end of the tunnel has been switched off.

Hiccups TTSP, TTSP, TTSP...........

I think any pronouncements about babies containing the words "rod" and "back" should be treated with the scorn they deserve.

WF bless you, DD's okay - remained cheery all day despite the cold and DH and I managed to give each other a power nap, so I don't feel too bad either - just a bit snotty. Plus, last night was much better - DD still awoke 5 times, but resettled quickly after feeding each time except the last which took a bit longer (but by then I felt I'd had enough sleep to remain sane, so didn't stress too much) She woke up for the day at 0700.

Oh SAA, it really is one step forward, half a step back, isn't it?
at your paragraph about leaving make up on and rinsing eyeballs!!

MNIIM surely she'll forget the dummy soon??!! Sounds like you're doing amazingly well just staying tough with this one. Interestingly, DD's cold has made her even less inclined to accept a dummy than she was before - needs to breathe through her mouth, I suspect. Maybe your DD needs a cold to get rid of the dummy? (actually, I don't entirely recommend this as the best course of action....)

NoSleep and gingerkirsty

IC it took me a while to figure out what that meant you are so right.

Well I've managed to dye my hair and dd is now flat out on my knee so taking that as a cue to just sit for a bit.

Have lots of responses planned for comments 'well I thought the 1st 7 years would give her a good start...' 'co-sleeping is great, saves on hot water bottles' etc.

Hope everyone has a good day