Co-sleepers - help me with my constantly waking 6 month old please! (LONG POST!)

[ChairmumMiaow]

DS is 6 months old today, and we've been co-sleeping in various ways since he was about 3 months and grew out of his moses basket.

Before he came out of the basket, he was (briefly) sleeping pretty well (IMO) waking 1-2 times a night, and I was feeling good. When we took him out because it was too small, he started waking more often. I presumed this was a combination of the change of sleeping environment and the hot spell we were having at the same time. I thought it would get better!

Since then, its just got worse - he's waking more and more, so I have him in bed with me more and more, and now I'm losing my confidence in what I'm doing. It feels like he won't sleep for long without my nipple in his mouth (although I know its not actually as bad as that). He wakes every 1-2 hours, but seems to only sleep for more than an hour in our bed - he used to do about 3 hours in his cot to start with then wake frequently after that, but now we're lucky if we get an hour at the start of the evening (he normally goes to sleep between 8 and 9pm and just feeds then plays if we do bath earlier)

Some days I feel ok - if he just wakes to get latched on I barely wake up, but after weeks of doing this, I'm getting aches and pains in my back and arms. I normally lay him in the crook of my arm to feed, so when I go to sleep I get a dead arm after a while which wakes me up. Sometimes I can then roll him over onto his back, and he sleeps for a while longer, but other times he wakes up, which wakes me up more, and we have to get comfortable again...

If I try to feed him without being in my arm, I have to roll a bit further onto my side (but not completely over as that seems not to work) which gives me backache as my bac is twisted slightly. I've thought of supporting my back with a long cushion, but thought that it would just wake me up more to get it in place.

If I try to put him back in his bedside cot after every feed, I just wake up shattered. If I try to get him back to sleep by patting etc, he just works himself up into full crying, which I can't stand! Same thing happens when DH tries - as he does when he hears me and DS getting worked up!

I've had people suggesting that I'm waking him up myself, and that he might sleep better in his own room, and as each night I just get that little bit more tired, I'm starting to doubt the route I've chosen and wonder if I make DS sleep as he does! (but I really don't want him in another room just yet)

He doesn't feed as much as he used to in the day, and is not yet eating much solids (he started BLW very slowly about 3 weeks ago) so I know that he needs to catch up at night to a certain extent, but it feels like he's snacking a lot...

So I'm wondering if I can -

a) improve my sleep-feeding technique - any hints?
b) use some other non-crying technique to get him back to sleep
c) try a dummy (I don't particularly like them, but don't hate them...)
d) do something else...

If I can get more comfortable feeding him in bed, I'll be happy, as when I'm not knackered, I don't worry about getting him into bad habits, and DH and I have agreed we're happy to have him in our bed for some time. When I'm tired though, I feel like I'm doing everything wrong!

My dd1 was a nightmare sleeper, but at around 8 months suddenly started going down for a 2 hour nap at lunchtime, so it might be worth a try - 1 nap but a longer one.

Most toddlers I know, if they have 1 nap it seems to be around midday, maybe your DD is ready to move towards that?

That's what I'm wondering. I may try and keep her awake until after lunch tomorrow and see if that is any better.

She has actually been playing quite happily since I gave up trying to get her to sleep.

You could move her morning nap back a bit a a time and see how she is.

how old is she again? God, I'm just getting used to DD having 2 predictable, fairly long naps, don't tell me it's all going to be over soon!!!

She's 10 months. Today she napped between 12 and 1. Normally she would nap around 930.

She was tired around 3 but couldn't go to sleep. She's still awake now and doing ok.

I thought maybe trying to get her to last until a nap around 1 tomorrow and see how we go. Sound reasonable?

Going without the morning nap - oh no! when will I do the laundry?

LaTrucha - exactly the same thing is happening to me.

DS is currently napping around lunchtime for his normal 45 minutes. He's then getting tired later on. Sometimes he doesn't nap and ends up going to sleep earlier (like 5.15!) and tonight he fell asleep on me at 4.30, woke up when I tried shifting him around after around half an hour, then spent a good hour crying and grumping.

He seems to get a bit sleepy at his old nap time of 9.30, but I can never seem to get him off to sleep then.

Anyway, he's since had some dinner and is now having his bath, so we'll see what time he goes to sleep. Perhaps we'll have 2 later naps and a later bedtime...

We're away tomorrow with a late dinner and stuff so all bets are off then

(sneaks in..) she went to sleep tonight without crying! ... (tiptoes out)

LaTrucha - so glad that it is working so well and so quickly for you!!! How old is your LO again?

Doh - just read the above posts again - she's 10 months as you already said. Sorry - will go to bed now and see if I can repair some of my short-term memory cells by sleeping.

LaTrucha, so glad you are all getting some sleep, that sounds amazing! I think you might try seeing if one nap only would work. I've heard that between 9 months and a year most babies head towards one nap. Perhaps take one day where you can deal with any over tired baby fall out and give it a go? And the going to sleep without crying is amazing - I landed up leaving DD to CIO last night as I'd tried everything to get her to sleep. She fell asleep within 10 minutes, I knew she was knackered, but just wouldn't do it with me there.

Another up and down night last night. She was up at 10:45 but I got her back to sleep by 11:15. I then woke up at 2am coughing myself stupid for half an hour. Then DD woke up at 4:30 and DH got up to her. She wouldn't settle though so he finally brought her into bed at 5:30 and she fed and nodded and fed and nodded until 6:45.
This first week back at work has been really tiring, mostly because DD isn't sleeping well. For anyone going back to work, I'd recommend (if you can afford it!) starting nursery "properly" a week before you go back to work. I'm sitting here with matchsticks keeping my eyes open and it's only 9:15! I treated myself to a bacon baguette from the canteen this morning in the hopes it would cheer me up enough to last the day - here's hoping!

Huge sympathy Hadeda - you must be shattered. I can barely manage normal household tasks some days, so can't imagine coping with work yet. My LO is a bit younger, so I've got a while to go at home yet, thank goodness.

We had a slightly backwards night last night, but not too bad. He woke twice in the early evening, but did go down again; first time 10 mins , second in half an hour. He only slept until 12, then woke again at 3 and 5 for feeds and at 5.30 did an unignorable nappy which meant that really the day had to start then. I'm still feeling ok though as at least he has started sleeping a bit longer some nights.

What a result Latrucha!

Poor you hadeda, it must be difficult. Thank goodness it's almost the weekend, hopefully you can catch up a bit on sleep.

We had good night, down at 7.30 up for a feed at 12 then at 6, and have been awake since then. Well, just gone down for nap actually.

Are you lot still bf to sleep for naps? I am, and am wondering what will happen at nursery? Actually she will go down for DP when I'm not here, but how will they feel about rocking her to sleep??? I guess she might go down without much fuss for them, given that they have probably seen it all before.

Am off into work in an hour or so to discuss my flexible work application. Not very happy at thought of returning to work...

confess that I am back to slinging for all naps. Don't think I'll be able to convince a nursery worker to sling my lump of a son when the time comes... yet more reasons to get him in the cot. Groan.

Peach - GOOD LUCK!!! I hope your meeting goes well and they are happy to agree to your flexible working.

Re nursery - from what I've seen at DD's nursery they are happy to rock them to sleep. They have rocked DD in a boucy chair, put her on a bean bag and rocked that and taken her out in the double buggy. They def don't leave them to cry as it just results in all the babies crying which is pandemonium! Last week they had a 6 month old baby start who has never slept in a cot (co-sleeps at home) and he fell asleep in someone's arms and then they put him in the cot, no problems.

I think you're right hadeda but might be a moot point anyway as work have turned down my flexible working application!

Had asked for 3 days 8-4 which they have turned down, but have offered 4 days working the "core hours* (basically could do any 7 hour shift between 9-6). Anyway, don't want to do 4 days so guess I will be resigning and being a SAHM. TBH, in some ways it is a good thing, as DP and I had discussed possibility me not working. After paying for childcare I wouldn't have been making a great deal of money. Ah welll... (peach gets head round idea of having no job)

Hi all -

Peach - that's a big decision. I'm a SAHM now and I do like it, so may not be a bad thing . That was a good night last night

Hadeda - sounds exhausting. Poor you!

Taking it - DD is ten months now. I don't think the CC would have worked so well before now. Don't worry about the sling thing. Needs must..

Chairmum - how are the naps.

DD had a nap at 12 today which went on for three hours . We'll see what effect that has on tonight.

Wow Peach, sorry work were not more flexible. But it is good to hear you'd already been thinking about the SAHM route anyway as I guess that helps sugar the pill a little. Have you been happy working there?

LaTrucha I've never heard of a 3 hour nap - how blissful!

I tried 2 naps today for DS and it seemed to suit him. He slept for longer at his second one as it was an hour later than usual, so he still got just under three hours during the day. I think he's ready for it, but now have to figure out how to fit his feeds in around the two naps as he slept through his usual feed at 3.30. Complicated business, this being-a-mum thing.

I have enjoyed working there and would have liked to have gone 3 days a week but it's not what you'd call a dream job, and am more than happy about being a SAHM so I can't complain.

at the long nap LaTrucha. If her sleep is ok tonight, then maybe this is the way forward. You'll be able to do your laundry, have your lunch and still have time for MN!!!

Well guys. Have you seen those 'taggy' books (like the taggy blankets)? Well I think they've got some kind of wonder drug in them. This is now DDs going to sleep routine (even in the night).

1. Start to protest
2. Mum strokes my cheek with the book.
3. I take the book, open it, put it on my head
4. Go to sleep.

All in about 30 seconds. It's happened 3-4 times in a row now. It's very cute and really quite unbelievable . I just tiptoe in in a couple of minutes and take it off her face.

Sweeeeet! ha ha

I've got a taggy blanket. Must dig it out!!!

Wow LaTrucha, that sounds great.

I'm having another down day today, controlled crying just doesn't seem to be working for us and as we've tried everything else I just don't know what to do. She does eventually go to sleep but it's still taking half an hour every night and as the crying time isn't getting any shorter I daren't do it in the middle of the night so she always ends up in with me anyway. She is sleeping longer periods once she's in bed with me (10 til 3:30 last night) but now I can't sleep with her in the bed. We're seeing a cranial osteopath next week - clutching at straws!

Picalilli - I do think a cranial ostepath might help. Sabela had a tiny bit - a bit of a feel in one of my sessions - and things did improve.

Also - I do think if CC is going to work it will work quickly. Maybe wait a while and try again? How old is your DD? Or what about doing it for a certain period at night. This is Chairmum's idea so she might be able to tell you more but the gist is that you choose a period of time in the night that you definitely want your baby to sleep and you do CC in that time. For example - between midnight and 4am. It's maybe more manageable and also gives you a 'get out of jail' card of taking her into bed before and after that.

Pic - we saw a CO for colic and the results were amazing. Apparently there is noting they cannot do, so definitely worth a go!!!

That's good to hear. I'm lurching between 'oh my god, what hippy dippy nonsense am I inflicting on my child' (no offense to anyone!!) and 'this could be the saviour of everything'. Really, though, what harm can it do? And if it helps, then great.

Hi guys.

We're on I think our fourth night of DD going to sleep without crying. I can't really believe how well it's worked. We did have a bad night here last night due to teething but she did stay in her cot for most of it and was not really crying for attention, just out of discomfort. It makes me think that perhaps we actually woke her up in the past by picking her up so much. We'll never know, of course.

She still wakes up pretty early. Can you believe I even think about that after having her waking up 6 times a night?

When's your CO appointment picallili?