Co-sleepers - help me with my constantly waking 6 month old please! (LONG POST!)

[ChairmumMiaow]

DS is 6 months old today, and we've been co-sleeping in various ways since he was about 3 months and grew out of his moses basket.

Before he came out of the basket, he was (briefly) sleeping pretty well (IMO) waking 1-2 times a night, and I was feeling good. When we took him out because it was too small, he started waking more often. I presumed this was a combination of the change of sleeping environment and the hot spell we were having at the same time. I thought it would get better!

Since then, its just got worse - he's waking more and more, so I have him in bed with me more and more, and now I'm losing my confidence in what I'm doing. It feels like he won't sleep for long without my nipple in his mouth (although I know its not actually as bad as that). He wakes every 1-2 hours, but seems to only sleep for more than an hour in our bed - he used to do about 3 hours in his cot to start with then wake frequently after that, but now we're lucky if we get an hour at the start of the evening (he normally goes to sleep between 8 and 9pm and just feeds then plays if we do bath earlier)

Some days I feel ok - if he just wakes to get latched on I barely wake up, but after weeks of doing this, I'm getting aches and pains in my back and arms. I normally lay him in the crook of my arm to feed, so when I go to sleep I get a dead arm after a while which wakes me up. Sometimes I can then roll him over onto his back, and he sleeps for a while longer, but other times he wakes up, which wakes me up more, and we have to get comfortable again...

If I try to feed him without being in my arm, I have to roll a bit further onto my side (but not completely over as that seems not to work) which gives me backache as my bac is twisted slightly. I've thought of supporting my back with a long cushion, but thought that it would just wake me up more to get it in place.

If I try to put him back in his bedside cot after every feed, I just wake up shattered. If I try to get him back to sleep by patting etc, he just works himself up into full crying, which I can't stand! Same thing happens when DH tries - as he does when he hears me and DS getting worked up!

I've had people suggesting that I'm waking him up myself, and that he might sleep better in his own room, and as each night I just get that little bit more tired, I'm starting to doubt the route I've chosen and wonder if I make DS sleep as he does! (but I really don't want him in another room just yet)

He doesn't feed as much as he used to in the day, and is not yet eating much solids (he started BLW very slowly about 3 weeks ago) so I know that he needs to catch up at night to a certain extent, but it feels like he's snacking a lot...

So I'm wondering if I can -

a) improve my sleep-feeding technique - any hints?
b) use some other non-crying technique to get him back to sleep
c) try a dummy (I don't particularly like them, but don't hate them...)
d) do something else...

If I can get more comfortable feeding him in bed, I'll be happy, as when I'm not knackered, I don't worry about getting him into bad habits, and DH and I have agreed we're happy to have him in our bed for some time. When I'm tired though, I feel like I'm doing everything wrong!

Oh, forgot to say. Have lovely night on Saturday and even had two glasses of champagne!!!

peach - yep we're BLW and loving it

We offered him water from various things. He drinks effectively from freeflow sippy cups, and from those "from 12month" ones with the straw with the valve. He can also drink very messily with a doidy cup, a normal glass and a straw. With sippy cups and anything open, he likes to suck and spit once he's had his drink, resulting in a very messy cup, hence trying the straw with the valve. He apparently drinks from non-spill cups with his auntie too.

I think it depends how much solids they're eating TBH. Although I've never found anything definitive to say so, I don't think my breasts can be clever enough to figure out how watery to make the milk based on how much DS is eating. I encourage DS to drink at every meal, and the more he eats, the more he seems to drink. I've also started offering it sometimes when we're out and about if he's asking for milk (just to get him home if we're not in a position to feed) - mostly I offer food, but any distraction like that seems to work.

Oh and in BLW water is good for when he's been a little piggy and stuffed too much in his mouth - give him a drink and it moistens everything so he can either chomp it a bit more and swallow, or spit it out

peach: also, good for you about the night out. I went out friday and had a little too much to drink. Probably shouldn't have fed DS when he woke, but I rarely have more than 1 glass of wine so I think he'll survive. Doesn't it feel brilliant to be out and about at night occasionally?

It sounds like there is quiet progress in both your households Chairmum and Peachsmuggler - really encouraging to hear. I think (pray) the over-sensitive hearing thing is age-related (DS will only be 5 months on the 7th). It is a royal nuisance as even when he does go down in the cot in the day I have to sit very still while he sleeps otherwise he wakes even earlier.

We had a very weird night last night. DS woke at 3am with a big nappy (which is unusual enough for him) and then wanted to play for the next half hour. Ugh. Then he woke at 6am ready to play and again and it took 20 minutes of convincing to get him off again. I have no idea what has set that off. He had plenty of nap time yesterday and went to bed asleep by 7.05 so it all looked like a good night.

I'm interested in your weaning tales - that's the next thing I've started reading up about. I'm thinking a mixture of baby-led and traditional here.

Going out is fantastic and also feels like such a treat to not be wearing a nursing top/bra!!! ha ha

My friend suggested the doidy cup but it just seems like an impossibility that she would not just tip it everywhere. Still I guess that's how they learn.

BLW is great fun isn't it. She is getting so much more dextrous (is that a word?) after only 3 weeks of doing it!

DD was much more sensitive to noise when she was 5 months than now (almost 7!) so hopefully things will improve for you!

Does anyone put their LO in their sleeping bag for daytime naps? I put DD down for a napin cot and she is still sleeping an hour later (lucky I have a sensor monitor or I would have beebn in there already checking that she was still breathing!!). This is very unusual and the only difference I can think of is I put her in, in her sleeping bag.

Wow am amazed. We have also been geeting up at 7.30 for about a week now. Hopefully that has helped too.

Speechless

Congrats Peachsmuggler! We do put DS in sleeping bag when doign the daytime cot-naps as we figure it might make him realise that it is sleep-time.

I think you're right. An hour and 20 minutes later she is STILL sleeping! Have had a cup of tea and everyting. What shall I do now....

2 hours ans still asleep. Good god, have I been depriving hewr of daytime sleep through lack of adequate bedwear!!!

I hope so Peachsmuggler - not 'cause I wish chilly feet on your DD, but because it's an awfully easy problem to fix . Two hours to yourself in the daytime. I can't think what I will do when that happens (I'm being optimistic today that it will happen). I suspect I might run up and down the hall with my knickers on my head clucking like a chicken (in other words, go completely barking mad with joy ). Congrats!

peachsmuggler : wow! I might have to try that.

HI all - DD had a two-hour nap the other day and I spent the whole time on MN!

Taking it - Sabela does the 'playing in the middle fo the night' thing when she is teething. Is this possible for you? And you're lucky, BTW, it normally takes at least an hour and a half to get her down again.

Peach - yup, we use the bags in the day and yes it makes a difference. We put far more clothes on her than recommended at night too as she does seem to wake and want to be with me because she is cold. She is not a chubby baby though and I think this is why.

Chairmum - sounds like the bottle is going well. DD will take about that much from DH - though I am lazier than you. I have given up expressing and use formula. We had a bit of a nightmare time feeding DD when she was tiny and expressed loads then. It woul dbe easy for me to do it, but the idea brings back all the stress.

We're pretty much on an even keel here. DD hasn't repeated her 8-hour stretch unfortunalely, but she still settles easily and is usually waking for a two minutes some time before midnight, then at 2.30 and 4 ish, 6is etc. We're going to cut out night breast feeding at the end of October, I think. Then I'll probably stope completely in December. God, I love BF but we want another bairnie and we don't want to leave it to chance, so I'm trying to look on the bright side.

LaTrucha it could absolutely be teething here. He seems to be bringing in 6 at once. None have broken through yet but 4 look very very close. It has certainly been part of his upset over the last week I think - not easy to tell though when he is also very clearly full of a cold.

well she eventually woke up after 2.5 hours!!! I can't believe I never thought of the sleeping bag before (smacks head in Homer Simpson d'o fashion). I guess because it'as been so warm in our flat since she was born.

Managed to get her down this avo for another nap though she woke after 35 mins, but then had another hour as I got into bed with her.

LaTrucha - you will feel sad when you stop bf, but you will also be excited by prospect of another lovely baby. A book I was reading said don't think of it as the end of something, just a new phase in your relationship with your LO, which I think is a good way to see it!

Wohoo!

6pm to 2am with a couple of shouts at 1am. Long may this continue.

Of course I now have to learn to sleep. I went to sleep at 9.30. Woke at 12.30. Managed to just get back to sleep when DS's shouting woke me at 1. Awake till after DS's feed at 2, then took ages to get back to sleep, and I only really dozed until 6.30 when he woke up

Gah! I need to sleep train myself!

ha ha! Typical eh Charimum?

Well so much for long naps. She went to bed at 7 fine and slept till 10, but then woke every 2.5 hours after that and was wide awake from 5-7 till this morning. Got another hour luckily after that, but zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

peach - oh dear. 2.5 hours does sound a lot though. DS rarely gets that in total in a day (still!)

Sleeping bag didn't help here. DS tired 2 hours after wakeup, then 45 minute nap. Enough time for a shower etc though

yes agree 2.5 hours is long, and she had 1.5 in afternoon but just seemed to wrong to wake her!!!

Wow - sounds like a huge sleep day for your DD Peachsmuggler; bad luck about the night. How's it going today?

We have had 2 x 45 min naps, which is more normal. Let's see what happens tonight!

OMG - DD went to sleep at 7.30 last night and didn't wake up till 2!!! Longest sleep ever, I couldn't believe it.

peachsmuggler: wow!

We had an ok night - not as good as the last 2, but I actually managed to sleep! - Bed at 6 as normal, up at 12.30 and 4.45, then had to be woken at 7.10 (of course its one of those days when I'm going to work at 6.30 wakeup would have been helpful, but never mind)

How old is your DS now Chairmum?

Hello everyone, we're back!

Wonderful to hear some of you seem to be getting real sleep "break throughs" at the moment. I think it is getting chillier now so maybe the sleeping bag is necessary during the day. And well done on the longest sleep every Peachsmuggler.

I have found the absolute answer to all sleep issues - let DC sleep with someone else! I had 2 terrible nights in Italy where I got about 4 hours sleep a night and by Wed morning I was a complete zombie. Anyway, stumbled through the day and then MIL suggested they have DD for the night. I warned her that they'd be up a lot but they seemed to think that was the best idea ever so off she went to their room. She did get them up but FIL lay with her on his tummy and she fell asleep like that (well, it is rather large and comfy.... ). And FIL probably spent most of the night staring adoringly at his little grand daughter so everyone was happy !
Anyway, we've had very bad nights even now we're back in the UK - last night was up at 10, 12:15, 2:30 and 4:30 when she came into bed with me. ILs left yesterday so I'm hoping we can now get back to our usual pattern and get some SLEEP.

Takingit - sorry about random meet up reference earlier, I think I was posting too fast! Was meant for iwantasecondone as she lives near me here in London.