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Please help Newborn baby - I can't go on with no sleep.

1000 replies

Jennifer48 · 07/02/2026 06:12

I am posting because my mental health is taking a battering due to sleep deprivation since I gave birth to my beautiful baby on 26 January. I have slept just a few scattered hours since then. The nights are excruciating: the baby doesn't sleep at nights, he certainly doesn't settle in the cot and just howls if he isn't at my breast/stomach or on a pillow in front of me, and obviously I can't sleep in that position.
I am, after a shaky start, breastfeeding him, which I am glad about, but if me getting sleep entails moving on to formula, I will do it but I want to make sure it will definitely result in my getting sleep because that's what's breaking me. I manage to express some milk but giving it to him at night does has no impact on the situation at all. His nappies and weight gain are all good and he is back at his birth weight so he is getting sufficient nutrition from the breast, but won't sleep anywhere other than against my chest, stomach or on a pillow in front of me for longer than five minutes- and obviously I can't fall asleep in that position. I hear parents talk about getting three or four hours or sleep with envy; I literally have got none the past two nights and was almost delirious, I nearly fell with him in my arms last night (thankfully I didn't).
I've heard that's not unusual for a baby not to stay in the cot but I've also heard this phase could go on for weeks or months.. but I am at breaking point now- imagining things, feeling extremely low. There is no joy in this.

OP posts:
Thread gallery
43
Goingncforthisone · 18/02/2026 09:06

*derail not detail

crispyrick · 18/02/2026 09:25

Pacifier really helped me with this - she’s now 3 and got rid of it at around 2. Really helped settle her when she wasn’t hungry, just wanted to suck for comfort.
It doesn’t matter if you give a pacifier or formula - just do what you can to get through this tough period. It passes but it feels like it never will at the moment. Like I said, do what works right now Flowers

Cantmakemymindup2 · 18/02/2026 09:40

Both of my little ones had CMPA (cows milk protein allergy) they fed all day everyday to soothe the pain they were in.

With my first child I didn’t realise that her mucous poop wasn’t normal and she would feed all the time and cry all the time. I would put her on my breast every time she cried and she would stop crying and feed. This went on for 8 weeks until she had a small amount of blood in her nappy.

That is when I started to suspect a milk allergy. I cut out milk and soya out of my diet (a lot of babies with CMPA also have soya allergies and I just wanted her to get better as soon as possible). Within days I had a completely different baby that was happy and slept.

Even if it isn’t CMPA, it could be reflux or tongue tie. Baby might be uncomfortable and that is why they aren’t settling, rather than being hungry.

Both of mine also had tongue ties which were missed by professionals. I ended up going private and paying £200 just to get it cut ASAP.

I don’t think your baby is really hungry especially since they are putting on a good amount of weight. You shouldn’t feel guilty about giving formula. You just have to do what you need to do to make life easier. You also shouldn’t feel guilted in to giving formula if you don’t want to.

I hope things improve for you and your little ones soon.

Putthewashingout33 · 18/02/2026 09:48

Ah here. I try not to get dragged into these things but talking about 'significant risks attached to artificial feeding' to a woman on her knees is far from helpful. I've been through the bf mill with a qualified IBLC and formula can be part of the toolkit for certain circumstances. And yes babies cry, mine did a lot but it does sound like there is something else going on here.

Morecoffeethanks · 18/02/2026 09:54

I agree with @Cantmakemymindup2 i don’t think the baby is hungry if they are gaining weight. My baby also fed 24/7 and it ended up being silent reflux. I would go to GP and ask for gaviscon/ some kind of medication or see a cranial osteopath to see if they can figure out a cause.

Ileithyia · 18/02/2026 13:26

Goingncforthisone · 18/02/2026 08:57

Oh stop with this. OP is fully aware of the benefits and is determined to breastfeed. She doesn't need more materials pushing one agenda over another.

Let's not detail the thread around the benefits of bf or not and instead support the OP with advice to get through each day/night.

Edited

Ok @Goingncforthisone I’m not aiming this information at OP, but at those like @mynannygoat7 who are not listening to and respecting her wishes, and posting misinformation about infant feeding.

Ileithyia · 18/02/2026 13:31

Putthewashingout33 · 18/02/2026 09:48

Ah here. I try not to get dragged into these things but talking about 'significant risks attached to artificial feeding' to a woman on her knees is far from helpful. I've been through the bf mill with a qualified IBLC and formula can be part of the toolkit for certain circumstances. And yes babies cry, mine did a lot but it does sound like there is something else going on here.

Yes,@Putthewashingout33 I was replying to MyNannyGoat, who is posting misinformation, not OP. OP is aware of all this already, but there are people telling her it doesn’t matter etc etc which is not helpful.

Jennifer48 · 18/02/2026 15:07

@Cantmakemymindup2 when you cut out milk, did you eliminate biscuits, chocolate and cakes, too? Thankfully no blood in his nappies and as I mentioned earlier in the thread, I don't eat cheese or yogurt or take cow's milk in my cereal or coffee, but I do eat milk chocolate and cakes and biscuits which may be made with dairy. I asked my mum to buy me coconut yogurt the other day and she came back with coconut-flavoured Grek yogurt, the first ingredients of which is milk. I can't lay down the law when she is trying to be helpful and I can't go out and buy my own food yet. Thank you.

OP posts:
loislovesstewie · 18/02/2026 15:13

May I ask @Jennifer48 do you try to put baby in the pram and go for a walk every day? I know it often seems hard to get out of the house, especially if you are knackered, but a walk in the fresh air often helps both mother and baby. I know my situation was different, but I went for daily walks the day after I came out of hospital. It gave some structure to the day, got me out of the house, besides that I had to do the school run! ( or walk!)

Manthide · 18/02/2026 15:23

Dd2 was lactose intolerant and wouldn't accept formula so I bf her for over a year. Well I'm assuming it was lactose intolerance not CMPA but it was a long time ago (she's 32 now). I never particularly restricted my diet, though I was never big on milk anyway. I think they do a test nowadays.

Jennifer48 · 18/02/2026 15:36

loislovesstewie · 18/02/2026 15:13

May I ask @Jennifer48 do you try to put baby in the pram and go for a walk every day? I know it often seems hard to get out of the house, especially if you are knackered, but a walk in the fresh air often helps both mother and baby. I know my situation was different, but I went for daily walks the day after I came out of hospital. It gave some structure to the day, got me out of the house, besides that I had to do the school run! ( or walk!)

Hi @loislovesstewie No, I don't go outside unless it's for a medical appointment. I did get to Asda once last week when my mum drove me there.

OP posts:
SquishySquashyWishyWashy · 18/02/2026 15:37

Jennifer48 · 18/02/2026 15:36

Hi @loislovesstewie No, I don't go outside unless it's for a medical appointment. I did get to Asda once last week when my mum drove me there.

I agree with PP, going outside, even 15min (and specially before 10am) with baby for a walk really helps with setting the day/night internal clock. I highly recommend to do every day, although I know you might not feel like it, staying indoors will make you both feel trapped.

Ileithyia · 18/02/2026 15:38

Manthide · 18/02/2026 15:23

Dd2 was lactose intolerant and wouldn't accept formula so I bf her for over a year. Well I'm assuming it was lactose intolerance not CMPA but it was a long time ago (she's 32 now). I never particularly restricted my diet, though I was never big on milk anyway. I think they do a test nowadays.

This is cows milk protein allergy, not lactose intolerance, there’s a lot of lactose in breastmilk, cutting out dairy makes no difference. Truly lactose intolerant babies need special formula.

Ileithyia · 18/02/2026 15:44

Jennifer48 · 18/02/2026 15:36

Hi @loislovesstewie No, I don't go outside unless it's for a medical appointment. I did get to Asda once last week when my mum drove me there.

I agree with @loislovesstewie, a walk in a pram or carrier every afternoon can help both of you. The fresh air and natural light help to set babies internal clock, there’s studies that show it makes a difference. I used to walk to the corner shop and buy a bar of chocolate if I didn’t need to do anything ‘real’ just so we left the house.

https://www.nurseryworld.co.uk/content/news/outdoor-light-helps-babies-sleep-at-night

Outdoor light helps babies sleep at night - Nursery World

Taking babies outside in the afternoons could help them sleep through the night, says a new study published in the Journal of Sleep Research. Researchers at Liverpool John Moores University found that babies who sleep well at night are exposed to twice...

https://www.nurseryworld.co.uk/content/news/outdoor-light-helps-babies-sleep-at-night

Ileithyia · 18/02/2026 15:46

Jennifer48 · 18/02/2026 15:07

@Cantmakemymindup2 when you cut out milk, did you eliminate biscuits, chocolate and cakes, too? Thankfully no blood in his nappies and as I mentioned earlier in the thread, I don't eat cheese or yogurt or take cow's milk in my cereal or coffee, but I do eat milk chocolate and cakes and biscuits which may be made with dairy. I asked my mum to buy me coconut yogurt the other day and she came back with coconut-flavoured Grek yogurt, the first ingredients of which is milk. I can't lay down the law when she is trying to be helpful and I can't go out and buy my own food yet. Thank you.

Yes, if you’re eliminating dairy it has to be all dairy, including cakes, biscuits and chocolate. It takes at least 14 days to completely leave your system, but you often see a difference after the first week.

Did you make it to the breastfeeding group today @Jennifer48?

Jennifer48 · 18/02/2026 16:06

No @Ileithyia because my baby didn't sleep all night and then slept between 6 and 11 so I had to sleep then. I came downstairs to get him ready at ten o'clock but my mum thought it might be better getting more sleep instead of going to the group and I think she was right.
Thanks for remembering.

OP posts:
MyStickIsBetterThanBacon · 18/02/2026 16:12

Oh OP, I had so hoped you and your little one might have had some respite.

With good weight gain and no evidence that the extra formula helped satisfy him, there does seem to be something else going on. My money would be on silent reflux which could be caused by a few things.

It could be dairy intolerance, maybe try dairy free formula for a day while pumping your milk and altering your diet in the meantime. BF will not be affected by this as long as you pump to keep stimulating supply.

A very poor latch I think would result in poor weight gain, so I'm not convinced he's not latching well. But taking too much air in while feeding causes problems. One of the biggest clues of a poor latch on my tongue tied baby was a tiny clicking noise as he sucked. This was his tongue flicking over my nipple instead of it working the breast under the nipple to draw out the milk. I had very sore nipples.

His latch was poor no matter what I did until his tie was cut (twice over three weeks, so it took a while). He was my 3rd BF baby so I had experience by then. Latching is very difficult to direct on, you've kind of got to experience a good latch to know the other was bad, not helpful I know.

A good BF group or one to one support at home would be ideal. I appreciate the last thing you want to do is go out to a group, but it could really help.

Infacol and Gripe Water can also help a little, but these only treat the symptoms not the cause, definitely worth trying though. And a dummy, the sucking helps to pass bottom wind. But also do plenty of burping too, so many different ways to try, you'll find what works for him.

And don't lie him completely flat, you need gravity to help keep his milk in his tummy. Raise the cot/basket with a book or two, or folded towel under mattress.

You will get through this. It's a case of trying lots of things, a process of elimination. Sending love. X

Ileithyia · 18/02/2026 16:15

Jennifer48 · 18/02/2026 16:06

No @Ileithyia because my baby didn't sleep all night and then slept between 6 and 11 so I had to sleep then. I came downstairs to get him ready at ten o'clock but my mum thought it might be better getting more sleep instead of going to the group and I think she was right.
Thanks for remembering.

Ohhh did you actually manage a 4 hour sleep this morning? That will hopefully have made you feel slightly better @Jennifer48

When is the next nearest group? Or could you ring the helpline? Some organisations do home visits, which might be really good for you.

0790 1511975

https://www.breastfedbabies.org/locations?keys=&type%5B%5D=support_group

Please help Newborn baby - I can't go on with no sleep.
Cantmakemymindup2 · 18/02/2026 17:10

Jennifer48 · 18/02/2026 15:07

@Cantmakemymindup2 when you cut out milk, did you eliminate biscuits, chocolate and cakes, too? Thankfully no blood in his nappies and as I mentioned earlier in the thread, I don't eat cheese or yogurt or take cow's milk in my cereal or coffee, but I do eat milk chocolate and cakes and biscuits which may be made with dairy. I asked my mum to buy me coconut yogurt the other day and she came back with coconut-flavoured Grek yogurt, the first ingredients of which is milk. I can't lay down the law when she is trying to be helpful and I can't go out and buy my own food yet. Thank you.

Yes it means anything with milk as an ingredient. I ended up looking up ingredients online and then writing a list of the products I wanted, or I would send a screenshot of a specific item. It is really tough at first, but once you get the hang of it then it isn’t too bad.

If you tried this and it made some improvement then you will eventually have more free time to look into different meals you can eat.

I would definitely try a dummy too. I also didn’t want to give my children a dummy, but once things got really tough I desperately wish they would have accepted one. I ended up buying different shaped dummies and they weren’t interested in any of them. I think the younger you give them, the more likely they will accept one.

Ileithyia · 19/02/2026 08:56

How are you doing today @Jennifer48

Putthewashingout33 · 19/02/2026 11:05

Totally agree with the posters about getting outside for a walk and trying to teach the little one about night and day. If you got, say 6-11 yesterday and transferred that to, say 11-4am in a few days time it would be a chunk of night time sleep which would make you feel much better. You and he will get there! Take care

tinyspiny · 19/02/2026 13:50

Even if you are really tired you need to try and get out of the house as it’s not going to help your mental health being indoors for weeks .

Peonies12 · 19/02/2026 15:52

Cosleeping and side lying breastfeeding then baby can just fall asleep and you can sleep to; no transferring or holding. I agree with others; you really need to be getting outside ideally every day and in the morning; so your baby is exposed to plenty of daylight. Look at the Possums method - babies need lots of external stimulation it’s so important.

Imisscoffee2021 · 19/02/2026 20:29

My son was a milk allergic terrible sleeper and I found even after the worst nights, getting out for a bit was refreshing enough to drag some hope into my heart and people treated me so nicely out.and about as a new (probably shell shocked) looking mother, it was very heartening and I try and pay it forward now.

Queenoftartts · 19/02/2026 22:58

Jennifer48 · 18/02/2026 16:06

No @Ileithyia because my baby didn't sleep all night and then slept between 6 and 11 so I had to sleep then. I came downstairs to get him ready at ten o'clock but my mum thought it might be better getting more sleep instead of going to the group and I think she was right.
Thanks for remembering.

I agree you should try and get out the house at least once a day. Start getting baby into a routine. Babies do get bored in the house all the time. Baby massage classes are good as well as mother and toddler and any baby groups. They get to meet other babies and you get to meet people.

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