3 girls sharing a room, middle child is a nightmare

[Mumto3girls2016]

Hey first time poster, I have 3 girls who share a room as we live in a 2 bedroom house. Triple bunk bed ages 5,8 and 9 and a half. 8 year old a nightmare at bedtimes kicks bangs refuses to sleep keeping 5 year old and 9 year old awake. Then when told off says I don’t love her and don’t care about her. At my wits end and have to just walk away before losing it … any suggestions for a smoother bedtime routine for 8 yr old, … 5 year old & 9 year old has no issues going to sleep and is good as gold,x

Doesn’t make it wrong.

Most kids in the UK do have a room each though. And very few will be more than 2 to a room.
My 3 share for now. But that doesn't mean it's ok when it isn't working. "Managing" isn't where we should be aiming.
You don't need an ensuite with a pony. Just enough space to provide your DC with adequate sleep.

I would put the middle one in your bed to do some more reading/audio book. Firmly that although she isn’t tired her sisters are and that when she is ready to go to sleep she can sneak back in there.

We used to be able to sleep walk one of ours back to her bed after the bad sleeper had zonked out.

You still may have to police it so she doesn’t go and disturb the others and it could also become a positive one to one time.

They didn’t, all this “oh I shared and I was fine” is one side yeah…but I know lots of people who grew up in 2/3 bed houses, who shared with 4/5/6/7 other siblings and a lot of them are fucking traumatised from it, the lack boundaries as families and have issues with personal space etc.

You got a source on most kids in the uk having their own room? In this property market? I highly doubt it

Sharing a room with 5/6/7 siblings is a bit different from sharing with two

I'm looking for that, may have missed her saying but I think not because she says the girl sometimes comes into bed "with me", not 'with us', and one would think if a husband was around, between them they'd be able to afford a three-bed house.

I don't think there is anything wrong with three siblings sharing a bedroom but it's obviously not working well for this family.

Sharing with 4+ siblings is a lot different than sharing with 2! I know plenty of people who shared as kids (because it's very normal) and nobody is traumatised from it.

I got targeted with instagram posts a while back with some very clever ways to split bedroom spaces. Something along these lines. Might need to do some digging to find one that splits it 3 ways.

https://www.instagram.com/reel/C2eo-gayOXW/?igsh=aGtjNmZvbWtxZTcx

Sharing is sharing…

Is this a joke? Sharing a room with 7/6/5 or even 4 is obviously miles away from sharing with two.

Don't most partnered adults share a bedroom...?

Is it? 3 in a tiny room like OPs is not all that different than 5 in a big room.
That some people are/were fine sharing doesn't mean that everyone is.
3 in a small room, is a lot. None of us would choose that for ourselves as adults would we? How many of us would like to sleep in the middle of a triple bunk?

Yes fair point but also how many posts do we see on here or hear about IRL about issues with sleeping because of snoring, getting up for work at different times etc.

Sharing only works when sleep isn’t disrupted by the other person.

I sleep in a bedroom with my dh and my child most nights. Sharing is normal, even as adults.

And triple bunk beds are great fun. We loved ours.

houses in the uk are all very similar your average “big room” won’t be much bigger than the ops girls room. Even then 7 kids in one space is miles away from 3. I will say though usually when three kids are in a room it involves one double bunk bed and a single bed. Maybe the loud sibling could have the single?

Of course. Sharing doesn't work for everyone. What I object to is the all the posters that say kids sharing a bedroom is hideously cruel.

All this insisting that sharing is fine, triple bunks are great - not very helpful is it? Doubling down on how your nan coped with 11 people in a log cabin isn't going to help OPs kids sleep any better.

Sharing works when it works. When it doesn't, you get tired kids.

Where has anyone said it is hideously cruel? Don't be so dramatic.

That’s a choice…it’s very different

There's plenty of posters being dramatic about kids sharing rooms here.

We'll have to agree to disagree 🤷‍♀️

Think I am being obtuse but I can't see any pics of bunkbeds. I did think that something like this might future proof it for them. Personally I'd put the 8 year old on the top as it will give her some privacy and feeling of space if the ceiling isn't too low.

https://www.bedkingdom.co.uk/flair-eddie-staircase-triple-bunk-bed-with-storage.html#80=1268?utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=22287071904&utm_adgroup=&utm_device=c&utm_term=&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI9M-Ip8mKkQMVWZZQBh2ZGS2YEAQYAyABEgJ_xvD_BwE

I also really like this [with the blue curtains] as a long term solution. The fourth bed could be used for sleepovers, wardrobes or an underbed desk and shelves.
https://adultbunkbeds.com/blog/7-cool-adult-bunk-bed-ideas-for-a-small-space?srsltid=AfmBOop5aEzK2cIs58OkA5b3rD-FmsKYumQRks8byKXIWWfe41X1ceMU

Millions of kids share rooms and survive perfectly well [though possibly crave solitude more than most], I know I did. Your 8 year old might need less stimulation before bedtimes if you want her to wind down. If you eat late, bring it forward. No TV after 6pm or phones/iPads/gaming. There's no harm in everyone having quiet time which also means you can do homework reading with some while others read for pleasure. It's also worth considering choosing a more advanced book and reading to all three of them yourself. Harry Potter, or something more classic like the Children of Narnia. Mine loved Five Children and It and it's appropriate straight through their ages.

It's hard to find the time I know when the kitchen needs cleaning up but it might be all the difference between leaving them asleep or settled and spending an hour up and down the stairs becoming more enraged. No reason their father can't do it either.

I think that might depend where you live.
I'd say it's the exception here. lots of families with 3 kids, but four beds are way too expensive. 3 beds are the most common house so there are friends with 2 kids but in several cases they still co sleep or the kids still share.

ah yes I stand corrected. but my point remains, she's obviously cropped the pic to show the sleep space. why does it matter that there's no staircase on the pic?