3 girls sharing a room, middle child is a nightmare

[Mumto3girls2016]

Hey first time poster, I have 3 girls who share a room as we live in a 2 bedroom house. Triple bunk bed ages 5,8 and 9 and a half. 8 year old a nightmare at bedtimes kicks bangs refuses to sleep keeping 5 year old and 9 year old awake. Then when told off says I don’t love her and don’t care about her. At my wits end and have to just walk away before losing it … any suggestions for a smoother bedtime routine for 8 yr old, … 5 year old & 9 year old has no issues going to sleep and is good as gold,x

No wonder the OP hasn’t come back. The judgement on here is appalling 😞

I would say having three girls share in one room is only going to get much harder, can you split the rooms ?

No reason for it to get harder. I can't believe the fuss some posters make about children having to share a room.

The children sharing a room is a complete non-issue.

Yeah it might negatively affect sleep in some aspects, but it might also be positive for the DC in that they're used to having others close to them when sleeping and so don't get freaked out going to bed on their own. Hard to judge. Lots of kids don't actually like sleeping in rooms on their own.

In any case, the suggestion that it is somehow bad parenting/planning to have 3 young kids in one bedroom is complete nonsense.

The OP doesn't need to change their living arrangements, she just needs to find a way to nobble the young insurrectionist at bedtime.

It’s absolutely sustainable but there will be hiccups along the way, just when it will be all going smoothly BANG teenage years 🙈😂 I’ve 16, 15 and 13 year old sharing and they’ve shared for about 5 years. We don’t have triple bunk, we have one high sleeper, small double underneath like an ‘L’ shape and single bed on its own. Works for my girls. As they’ve god older it’s lovely to hear them chatting and gossiping on an evening, the giggles are heartwarming and I do feel it’s made them closer. They share everything like clothes and make up through choice l. Don’t get me wrong they do bicker at times but as they’ve got older it’s less and less so. As for bed times when they were a little younger, when one wouldn’t settle it was almost the siblings that made her see enough was enough, they would get annoyed and a divide between them occured she of course didn’t like that despite it being her own doing, she decided to settle and stop annoying her sisters. And all was right on the world again 😜 xx

It's clearly not a "non-issue"...

Kids deserve their own space. Why have 3 children if you don't have room for them? I genuinely don't get this at all.
I'd love a 3rd child but only have a 3 bedroom house and can't afford a 4 bed. So no 3rd child for me.

If it was a complete non-issue then why have they posted about it on mumsnet

Does she have ADHD? I'm just asking, as to whether it could be linked to the condition & why one has an issue over the other 2

The sharing a room is a non-issue. The issue is one kid not going to sleep and keeping the others awake.

Far too late! They need a good 12-13 hours sleep a night! So should be in bed asleep by 7pm ideally. We found our dd was a nightmare at bedtime because rhey were over tired. Knock bedtime right back and start the bedtime routine at 6pm - bath bed etc - and make sure all screens are stopped by 5pm

I forgot ‘goodnight yoga’ (on YouTube, but there’s also a book) really helped mine. And a
kids meditation story.

I was thinking about this earlier, and people saying it’s fine/not fine and, that’s not really the issue. All kids are different. Some kids will thrive on it. My sister always wanted us to share and my kid loved it, but I HATED it. I find people tiring and space away from even my favourites is absolutely necessary for my wellbeing. Your kids are not our kids. And they aren’t you.

You have the space you have, and approaching this with curiosity and kindness to find out what is not working for her and why is always the best approach. She’s showing you it’s not working for her, because she doesn’t have the words, and she needs you to help her build a way to cope. Her perception of what the problem is IS what the problem is. And solving it needs creativity to change the problem, not her. My kid still struggles massively at bedtime. She just doesn’t require my presence or disturb me anymore. It’s who she is.

You don't know the OPs situation. She may have had a larger house and had to move to a smaller one for a variety of reasons. It doesn't matter. The situation is what it is and she is trying to make the best of what she has.
Do you think your sanctimoniousness helps her in any way?

How deep sleepers are the other 2 once they are asleep?
Could she sit and read whilst you put them to sleep, then you can focus on her?

My son (8) has ADHD and struggles to switch off at night. Our routine since he was tiny has been, bath around 6:15 (water calms him so he can have a really long one if he chooses) then dry and PJ's. (No screens after bath time) Then I get in bed with them (his sister is younger and has a double bed in her room, he has his own room but prefers to sleep in with her, so own room isn't an automatic sleep fix!) we read a story, then lights off and we do "good thing and bad thing" about their day. Which gives them a chance to talk about anything on their mind.
Then for years I sang to them whilst stroking their hair or back, now they have a toniebox with the "sleepy sheep" on. His sister is out in 5-10mins flat. He can take anything between 10&40mins, but if it hits 8pm. I tell him I am going down for a cup of tea and I will check on him when I am done and sit with him again if he is still awake. I learnt he will only go to sleep if he knows I am coming back, but he is now never awake when I do!
I hope that's helpful. Good luck.

Please ignore the cruel comments. You sound like a lovely mum trying to do the best for your children. Sadly sometimes posts in MN attract horrible comments from jealous people. I think in this instance it’s jealousy that you rent from parents and that you work part time. There is NOTHING at all wrong in working only 20 hours a week when you also have 3 children and school runs to do. Ignore the haters and try the advice the nice mums have given. Your girls will settle, they have a nice home and a mum trying her best x

Are the rooms tiny?

I guess that'd depend on what you thought was tiny but I'd call them standard doubles

Why are you so against sharing?

Presumably to avoid a situation like OPs...

Do you have two accounts?

?

Were you just answering the question for the person I posed it to?

Because it's a public forum. They can answer too, don't worry.

I'm not worried. I know some people can't help themselves.

The kids are here now ,so what you did or didn't do is irrelevant as the situation isn't going to change,what do posters like yourself get out of trying to make people feel bad about their living arrangement, s ?