3 girls sharing a room, middle child is a nightmare

[Mumto3girls2016]

Hey first time poster, I have 3 girls who share a room as we live in a 2 bedroom house. Triple bunk bed ages 5,8 and 9 and a half. 8 year old a nightmare at bedtimes kicks bangs refuses to sleep keeping 5 year old and 9 year old awake. Then when told off says I don’t love her and don’t care about her. At my wits end and have to just walk away before losing it … any suggestions for a smoother bedtime routine for 8 yr old, … 5 year old & 9 year old has no issues going to sleep and is good as gold,x

You definitely need to alter the bedtime routine. 5 year old should be in bed earlier than the older 2. Start at 7, read her a story then lights out for her. For now, let the 8 and 9 year old go up together at 8 to maybe read or do a puzzle/drawing book themselves using a torch under the covers. See how that works then start to tweak the routine if needs be.

Sorry she was one of 9 and there were 5 girls all in bedroom. 4 boys were in the other room. 9 in a room would be wild. 🙈🤣

omg I shared with my sister until she was 18, which means she managed all through secondary school sharing a room and I managed until I was 15
even then I never did my homework in my bedroom, I did it downstairs.

because I'm irresponsible and had twins mine will share until someone moves out so at some point their two singles will become bunks and they can either have pull out desks in their room or they can work downstairs. dS has him own room but frankly I wouldn't leave him upstairs to work alone. they all manage to share a classroom of 30 kids and work, I think they'll manage at home with 2.
and they can bring partners back to sleep over when they rent their own place

But in the really world people can't just buy a bigger house with more space, what do you suggest the Op does.,send one her children back?

Working full time would be a good place to start actually. It's asinine to moan about the price of housing when you work half a job.
In the meantime, play around with sleeping arrangements as has already been suggested.

Do they? Who says? You? 🤣🤣🤣🤣

And a lot are not ar all traumatised, my dad was one of six siblings who grew up in a three bed terrace ,three boys in one room ,three girls in another not ideal but certainly not traumatic for them
How do you think your answers are helping BTW ?The situation is what it is ,people can't simply buy a bigger house ,Do you get a kick out of making people feel bad ?

Does the house have a basement that could be converted or space for a loft room.? Do you have space to get a caravan as one of the girls could have that and it would be her own space.

The children are 5,8 and 9 even if there is space for a caravan i wouldn't want a young child of mine sleeping in it ,i would rather they were a bit squashed.

My two dds shared until one went to uni. It worked fine. I tended to hang out downstairs during the day the dds used the two bedrooms. They definitely don't wish each other hadn't been born. They'll have each other for many years.

I can well imagine it. That's why the birth rate has been dropping. We own a 2 bed flat in London and dh got a vasectomy when I was 6 months pregnant .. one big reason is we are unlikely to afford anything bigger than a 2 bed in London. His room isn't huge, it's 3.8 m by 2.44 m but should last him till age 10 at the least.

My eldest went through a phase of not being able to get to sleep. Audio books helped no end, that and trying some basic breathing mindfulness. Weighted blanket is another good shout.
Does she need to get rid of some energy before bed?
Please ignore those awful comments. You sound like a wonderful mum.

You need a 4 bed house.

It has always been recommended that teenage or close-to-teenage children need their own bedroom. I don't understand why parents can't accept this.

I assume this is sarcastic ?

I'm inclined to agree. It's only since I became an adult that this luxury became an 'essential' and a lot of families are not able to provide their children with separate rooms. As they're all girls, there are no privacy issues, thankfully (I had to share with first my 3 years older and then my 9 years younger brother until I was 16 and we moved to a 3 bed house - the older one had gone on a sofa bed for 6 years until then).

I'd be looking for ways of getting her to behave herself rather than rewarding her with her own room and the parents on a sofa bed!

Could you put 2 singles in your room and have either the 5 Yr old or the 8yr old sleep in there?
I shared a room when was young and was awake for much longer than my sister but it was fine as I'd just read for hours in my own bed. I was a 'good' child (in inverted commas because I really don't think your child is choosing to be naughty) but I'd have lost my mind if I'd have had to share a bed, it would have been sensory overload for me

Because lots of parents dont have a magic money tree maybe ,and can,t just pluck funds out of thin air🤔

No. I was told decades ago that teenagers need their own rooms. If you want a large family, you need appropriate accommodation.

so what should I have done in my 3 bed when I found out the second pregnancy was twins? the jump from a 3 to a 4 bed rental is crazy, and there's few available. we'd been living in our house 7 years when I got pregnant the second time, and we're still here so incredible security so far for a private rent. should I have given that up to risk bouncing around less nice 4 beds and got into debt so the twins could have their own room at 6 months?

or should I have selectedly aborted one because there was no room at the inn?

But they can pluck children out of thin air?

Who told you that?
And how do propose the Op funds it ?
Lots of things are recommended, but that doesn't change the situation
Simply saying you need four bedrooms doesn't mean that the Op can afford it .

Someone told you therefore it must be true? 😂

Well the children are here
So your argument is daft.

Told by who?