Is anyone else not sleep training?

[HuntGather]

I have an 8mo who is a terrible sleeper and has been for many months - the most I get is a 2 hour stretch, and that’s with cosleeping. I'm not keen to sleep train but I seem to very much be in the minority with this and people are always telling me to do it. I've had my moments where I've considered it but it really doesn't feel good to me.

Is anyone else in a similar boat?

I never sleep trained in any form. My baby mostly sleeps through at just turned 1 and has for months. We did have really, really tough periods where I considered more gentle forms of ST so definitely no judgement if people do use it - we all need sleep - although I must admit I do judge with total cry it out - I mean where they’re left crying until they stop, no matter how long it takes. I have a cousin who (proudly) did this with his wife and the baby doesn’t even cry at night when unwell and awake and stares into space for extended periods. It can be seen on the monitor.

That's fucking awful. That poor child. How old is the child now? That can't be good for them feeling like if they are really poorly they can't call for Mummy or Daddy :( hell and high water wouldn't stop me getting to either of my babies if they were really distressed!!!

1 yo. They are now wondering why they aren’t crying. 🤦‍♀️ They’ve been conditioned to not. I think some take the line “A bit of crying won’t hurt them” very literally.

God it reminds me of that NSPCC advert... Miles is a quiet baby.. he's learnt that when he cries, no one comes. How sad :( hope the poor child isn't too affected by it

Maybe it's just that baby though?

What do you mean?

This isn't what sleep training is though. Neglect means you don't meet a child's needs or attend to them sensitively and lovingly. Sleep training is a few nights where you attend to child, usually by reassuring verbally but not picking up.

Can you see that equating the two is offensive and wrong?

Dear God I've just found that old NSPCC advert on YouTube I got 23 seconds in and had to turn it off cause I was crying :( it hits harder now I'm a parent :(:(:(:(

I'm not equating the two... I'm talking about the baby that a pp mentioned that was literally left. Not the process of sleep training in general which is very open to interpretation

Leaving a baby so long so that they never cry and stare blankly into space in the night IS neglect in my opinion. You don't have to agree, but I'm entitled to it

Maybe that baby is predisposed to looking around being moon eyed when ill, and would have done that with or without sleep training.

I sleep trained my kids and they'd cry if they were sick, bad dream, dropped a toy etc. They didn't cry if they stirred in their sleep and weren't immediately next to a parent. Which is what sleep training teaches them to do - not get freaked out by waking in a cot alone.

DC were often delighted to go to bed and would ask to go in their cots. The idea sleep trained children are some benighted terrified creatures is stupid.

I'm not saying that I was talking about this one child in particular for God's sake

As for staring around moon eyed when ill if my child was that bad I'd probably take them the hospital. It literally says lack of crying as a warning sign on NHS website

Ok, but your opinion is based on what you've heard or read on the internet and mine is based on what I know to be true of my children.

Sleep trained kids still cry in the night if something is wrong. One child who didn't cry once when ill doesn't prove your point.

That advert has nothing to do with gentle sleep training from loving and caring parents

I personally don’t know any other baby who will lie in their cot wide awake for over an hour, not playing with any toy or comfort, and not babbling or crying or shouting ‘Mummy’ or ‘Dada’ etc to get a parent’s attention. Most of all when unwell.

And don't start calling me stupid just because you feel defensive about your methods when you've clearly misread or misinterpreted my posts

BECAUSE IM NOT TALKING ABOUT SLEEP TRAINING IM TALKING ABOUT THE CHILD A PP MENTIONED READ THE DAMN THREAD FGS

Anyway. Op I was with you at 8 months, would never sleep train blah blah.

At 13 months I was broken and had a dangerous commute as I was so tired, sleep trained and we were all much happier. Took about three nights.

People are perfectly entitled not to sleep train, but I think it gives them an incentive to make out that sleep training is terrible to validate their sacrifice.

That's a bit rude. Maybe you're tired?

Reminds me of those studies of the poor kids in orphanages who grew up terribly psychologically damaged

No I'm not tired but I have little patience for people who post without reading the thread correctly. My 10 month old is actually a decent sleeper considering I've never left him to cry at night. And no I'm not a tiredness martyr. I just get on with it tbh

Because I'm not equating the two. I'm comparing this ONE child the previous poster mentioned with the advert. How many times do I have to repeat myself?

You are calling me stupid when you can't even be arsed to read and comprehend my posts correctly