What is wrong with my 6m old? - Desperately need help!

[kalicia]

Hi all.

The past 3 days have been a living nightmare with my daughters sleep. She was bad anyway but this is the worst it has ever been, even worse than the 4m sleep regression.

I can only describe it as, she just does NOT want to sleep at all, mainly at night. Naps have always been a problem but I say she manages 3 30min-45min naps a day. I usually rock her to sleep and hold her hand, or she lays down and I pat her back and hold her hand.

I don’t know what has happened to her but when it comes to sleeping at night, she kicks off like I have never seen before. My mum, her dad and myself have never seen a baby behave like this before. To put it into perspective, she is tired and goes to sleep around 8pm, I get her to sleep and she will maybe sleep an hour, wake up, I’ll get her back and she might sleep another hour or so. From 11pm to 3am it is a real battle. She cries, screams, throws herself around. She takes longer to settle, I could be patting her back or rocking her for an hour then as soon as I let go she through herself around, knocks her dummy out then continues to cry. I’ve tried putting the dummy back in, she will roll to the side to take herself to sleep then it is like something has clicked in her mind that she’s about to sleep and she rolls back and starts crying. This is continuous.

Before anyone suggests any pain or discomfort, she is not that bad in the day. At night as well I will sometimes sit her up if she’s hysterical and she’s back happy and smiling and wanting to play, even though she is exhausted. Just something about laying down and going to sleep really starts this baby off.

I have cried a lot these past few days, I completely dread the nights. I am getting 4 hours straight of her crying and fighting me if I try get her to sleep. She is not getting anywhere near as much sleep a baby should be getting her age. With her naps when she wakes I try get her back to sleep and she does not want any of it. I’m really at a loss. She is still in my room, I do often try get her to sleep with me in bed, she still cries and fights me for hours before she eventually gives in. I am also having to hold her hands because as soon as I let go she waves them about and that triggers her crying.

I wanted to start sleep training with the Ferber Method as she was a bad sleeper but this has just gone from bad to worse. When she cries it will go on and on there seems to be no end so I can’t imagine even trying the Ferber method because I feel like it will go on all night.

Before she would wake frequently but I would pop the dummy back in and she would take herself back to sleep. Now it is like she has suddenly forgot how to self settle and is completely reliant on me.

If anyone can offer experiences, whether their little one was similar or if sleep training genuinely works Or just any advice, why is she doing this suddenly?

I am willing to try anything at this point.

Thankyou xx

Hopefully she fell asleep with no tears!

I never knew about silent reflux or colic . Just thought every baby screamed all day and all night. Wasn't until second child I realized they could wake up and smile rather than scream. 1st baby even screamed in his sleep

How did last night go OP?
I hope the otter helps, my LO loves his and will turn it on himself, weve had it for 6 months now.
Also, one thing we did at about 6 months was to put his dummy on a ribbon clip and during the day show him how to put it back in himself, he picked it up quickly and it meant at night he could then replace it if he needed it.

I know some people are really against sleep training, but it has worked well with both my boys. I wonder if she doesnt know how to self settle/doesnt have the association of night and cot with bedtime yet. We used the method that super nanny used many moons ago on her programme where you put them down sleepy but awake, and leave, then if they are unsettled you go back in after 1 minute, then 2, then 5 then 10 but you dont speak to them, just lay them back down calmly. We've had to do it a couple of times with our youngest as he seems to suffer regressions more than our first did, but he will eventually settle himself back to sleep and it usually only takes 1 or 2 nights before he's back to his usual sleeping all night self.

Youngest was not a good sleeper at all until he got to 6 months and as i say weve had lots of sleepless nights even since so i really do feel your pain, you're not alone.

Pain especially teething is worse at night.

Do you not feed at night? It’s very young not to - offer milk/breast.

If You’ve started solids then I would also look at allergies.

Also this is when we had separation anxiety kick in - early but definitely makes sleep worse!

What’s her routine like at the moment (including naps and feeds)

When she's getting so upset I am wondering if she's upset because she can't get to sleep. It sounds like she's needing a lot of help and sleep props, eg dummy and patting, but maybe they're not 'working' for her. It also sounds like she's not getting enough sleep, which leads to stress hormones being released and wake ups after an hour or so. So I wonder if you should sleep train actually. You could start by reducing your attempts to 'get' her to sleep. Reducing your input. I'm not saying don't stay with her, but do consider whether your being there is a help or a distraction as one of mine actually settled a lot better without me there. Its not your job to make her sleep, it's your job to help teach her to do it herself. In the meantime do whatever you need to do in order to make daytime naps happen. Buggy. Car. Contact. To reduce the sleep debt.

My daughter was like this. I took her to a cranial osteopath whi said she had fluid in her ears and therefore was uncomfortable lying flat. The GP suggested putting ger to sleep in a baby bouncer for a few weeks while she was treated so she wasn't flat. It really worked even though I thought it wS ridiculous at the time.

My little one was exactly the same. She still hates sleep at 14 months old. I could manage the sleep training as a single mum and to be honest her cries broke my heart.
i focussed on wake windows - at each age babies are able to do a certain number of hours awake before sleep. I stuck to this for her age and saw a huge improvement.
we also used a rockit zed which was a game changer for us.
so after spending a fortune on recommendations all which failed. I would focus on wake windows and get a zed. A nightly bath with aveeno night bath helped too.

Hi all.

An update from last night. After relaxing with the red light on she did not actually cry for a long period of time, she just wanted me to help get her to sleep which is unlike her. So I did the usual pat her back and she held my hands. I’ve noticed more recently that she is using my hand for comfort and this has come out of no where. But I tried to slide my hand away last night and she rolled back again searching for it. So I gave it her again and eventually she fell into a deep sleep so I could remove it. The problem with this as cute as it is, whenever she is waking she will be searching for her dummy and now when I put it in she grabs my hand straight away to help her get back to sleep.

So today the sleep otter arrived, I put her down around half 8 as she fell asleep in my arms. She slept for about 45 minutes as she struggles getting into the next sleep cycle. Then I decided to use the otter, I put her hand on it and patted her back with mine. She fell asleep easily, no crying or fighting. Obviously it has not been long so when she next wakes I’m not sure how she will be but this is a big improvement from the none stop crying the past week. I feel relieved.

I definitely do need to focus on wake windows, napping etc. Sleep training is also something I definitely need to do and now I know she is ok I think I am going to start in the next couple of days. She has been really pleasant today. Some days are hard because of the overtiredness but I feel like she definitely got enough sleep last night and had her naps today. Just need to somehow make the naps last longer. Thankyou everyone x

This doesn’t sound like a pain/illness thing if she’s perky when she’s not attempting to go to sleep, and if she’s refusing daytime naps she’s probably not tired enough. Try cutting one of them, so down to two a day, this should also make her more tired and hopefully lengthen the naps she is having/nighttime sleep.