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Original poster

What is wrong with my 6m old? - Desperately need help!

61 replies

kalicia · 07/01/2023 15:13

Hi all.

The past 3 days have been a living nightmare with my daughters sleep. She was bad anyway but this is the worst it has ever been, even worse than the 4m sleep regression.

I can only describe it as, she just does NOT want to sleep at all, mainly at night. Naps have always been a problem but I say she manages 3 30min-45min naps a day. I usually rock her to sleep and hold her hand, or she lays down and I pat her back and hold her hand.

I don’t know what has happened to her but when it comes to sleeping at night, she kicks off like I have never seen before. My mum, her dad and myself have never seen a baby behave like this before. To put it into perspective, she is tired and goes to sleep around 8pm, I get her to sleep and she will maybe sleep an hour, wake up, I’ll get her back and she might sleep another hour or so. From 11pm to 3am it is a real battle. She cries, screams, throws herself around. She takes longer to settle, I could be patting her back or rocking her for an hour then as soon as I let go she through herself around, knocks her dummy out then continues to cry. I’ve tried putting the dummy back in, she will roll to the side to take herself to sleep then it is like something has clicked in her mind that she’s about to sleep and she rolls back and starts crying. This is continuous.

Before anyone suggests any pain or discomfort, she is not that bad in the day. At night as well I will sometimes sit her up if she’s hysterical and she’s back happy and smiling and wanting to play, even though she is exhausted. Just something about laying down and going to sleep really starts this baby off.

I have cried a lot these past few days, I completely dread the nights. I am getting 4 hours straight of her crying and fighting me if I try get her to sleep. She is not getting anywhere near as much sleep a baby should be getting her age. With her naps when she wakes I try get her back to sleep and she does not want any of it. I’m really at a loss. She is still in my room, I do often try get her to sleep with me in bed, she still cries and fights me for hours before she eventually gives in. I am also having to hold her hands because as soon as I let go she waves them about and that triggers her crying.

I wanted to start sleep training with the Ferber Method as she was a bad sleeper but this has just gone from bad to worse. When she cries it will go on and on there seems to be no end so I can’t imagine even trying the Ferber method because I feel like it will go on all night.

Before she would wake frequently but I would pop the dummy back in and she would take herself back to sleep. Now it is like she has suddenly forgot how to self settle and is completely reliant on me.

If anyone can offer experiences, whether their little one was similar or if sleep training genuinely works Or just any advice, why is she doing this suddenly?

I am willing to try anything at this point.

Thankyou xx

OP posts:
Baconand · 07/01/2023 15:16

It’s a normal regression, it will pass. You can’t train them out of it, just dig deep and wait for it to pass.
I know it’s hard but it’s just one of those things.

Mossstitch · 07/01/2023 15:46

My first hated to sleep and miss out on anything, didn't seem to need it🤷 I just let him stay up and go to bed at the same time (which often was midnight) that way I would at least get some sleep before he woke. Two out of three of mine were terrible sleepers, the middle one was how I knew it wasn't anything I did wrong as he slept 12 hours from 7.00pm-7.00am once he was about 10mths old. By the third, I put mattresses on the floor and gave up, so long as he slept I didn't care where🤦 just get through it however you can....... Then enjoy doing the hoovering when they are teenagers refusing to get up before afternoon😂

Whatafielddayfortheheat · 07/01/2023 15:49

Do you feed her when she wakes? She's probably hungry I'd say. Both mine woke every 2 hours for milk at that stage.

Mummyboy1 · 07/01/2023 15:50

I think there's a few issues here. Sorry I have skimmed it, but I don't think she's getting enough daytime sleep and it sounds like she doesn't go to sleep by herself.

The lack of daytime sleep will effect her nights.

Shouldbedoing · 07/01/2023 15:53

Could the baby have earache? That feels painful lying down and is relieved by sitting up

Original poster
kalicia · 07/01/2023 16:25

@Baconand Feels like I barely got out of the 4m one but I do agree. The problem isn’t really my tiredness as I do get help from her dad and mum, but more so hers

@Mossstitch I tried that approach last night, I got her up and sat her on the bed. She was smiling at me and babbling away. But then she starts to rub her eyes and I worry it’ll just make her more tired. Lol, everyone always says to me enjoy this because it gets worse when they get older

@Whatafielddayfortheheat So before she would be waking up for her dummy and maybe have a feed in the night, I offer her milk now and she doesn’t want it. I have water as well now she’s 6m, I usually offer this and she will drink this over milk. But then continue to cry…

@Mummyboy1 I agree. She has never been a good napper. She relies on me a lot but even if she sleeps in my arms which she did today she doesn’t seem to last past 45minutes

@Shouldbedoing I don’t think so. Her temperature is normal and I am sure she would be more moody in the day. Thankyou for your suggestion though

OP posts:
Mummyboy1 · 07/01/2023 16:37

So shes struggling or can't get herself back into a deep sleep, she's only doing one sleep cycle. When we were going through the 4month regression my son wasn't able to get to the next sleep cycle at naps. After a while I made sure I was there with him for a nap and when I could see he was hitting the light sleep and starting to wake up I patted his bum and rocked him to go back to sleep, to help him link the cycles together.

Workingmother2014 · 07/01/2023 17:57

We got our boy a sleep otter, think its fisher price, his tummy moves up and down, it glows and it makes noise either white noise, heart beat or breathing sounds.

I think you need to drop to 2 naps in the day, 3 might be too many even though they are short.

Is she still in with you or in her own room now? Have you tried a baby memory foam pillow?

celticprincess · 07/01/2023 17:57

If she’s fine when sitting up then it could be reflux. Silent reflux often missed as there’s no vomiting up. But silent is still the same as the throwing up type. Causes heartburn and the main time is when laid down. My DDs both had reflux - of the projectile type - but when we thickened the milk so it wouldn’t come back up we still had issues until we got the ranatidine medication. Some bottles also helped more - we used Dr Brown bottles back then. We also had cows milk protein allergy added into the equation but the screaming only stopped when we tackled the reflux. We spent a lot of time with the cot on little feet to lift the head end. We also had a slope you could pop under the mattress as well.

Rosesandteacups · 07/01/2023 18:06

Could it be teeth? We had similar at 7 months on holiday. Nightmare trying to get DD to sleep and then she cut her first tooth and all was well again

CaramelMach · 07/01/2023 18:14

Shouldbedoing · 07/01/2023 15:53

Could the baby have earache? That feels painful lying down and is relieved by sitting up

I was going to stay this too.

Maybe worth trying some pain relief to see if it helps. Maybe she's coming down with something?

You have my sympathy though.
mine was the same. A bit older now - it does pass

Sunshine275 · 07/01/2023 18:21

I know you said she’s not in pain but how can you not even certain it’s her teeth, my first child was horrendous I actually thought something was seriously wrong wi the her, but it was her teeth. Also is she hungry? Does she need another feed during the night to fill her?

Sunshine275 · 07/01/2023 18:23

Is this a new thing too, could she have food/milk intolerances?

HotPenguin · 07/01/2023 18:26

I think it's pain. It could be teething, earache or reflux as suggested above. The fact she is ok in the day does not rule out pain, as pain is worse at night for everyone - there is less cortisol in your system and fewer distractions so you feel pain more when trying to get to sleep.

Have you just introduced cows milk or formula? That could be causing pain.

bert3400 · 07/01/2023 18:34

You have my sympathy...it's really tough. Do you have older children as your baby may of picked up something from them. This sounds like my 4th DS. He had picked up Threadworms from nursery/older children and was fine during the day but at night was in agony.

Fillin34 · 07/01/2023 18:36

Silent reflux would be my guess

SmokeyPaprika · 07/01/2023 18:37

Is she getting lots of daylight? Cold, fresh air?
They would probably help.

Accesscode · 07/01/2023 18:45

She's 6 months, have you started weaning or introduced any new foods recently? If so she may be reacting to that (with reflux or tummy ache that is relieved by being upright).

Yes teething also a possibility, even if you can't feel them.

Bridgeth29 · 07/01/2023 18:47

Either hungry or in pain. Offer milk and then give Calpol.

TwinkleStarWhatAre · 07/01/2023 18:51

I would definitely try giving some baby nurofen before bed and seeing if it helps. Sounds like teething or silent reflux.

Teething doesnt seem to bother them as much in the day. I suppose because theyre distracted.

If silent reflux and its happened suddenly then it will be related to something they're eating that they're not tolerating too well. You need to work out what it is.

Discovereads · 07/01/2023 18:52

celticprincess · 07/01/2023 17:57

If she’s fine when sitting up then it could be reflux. Silent reflux often missed as there’s no vomiting up. But silent is still the same as the throwing up type. Causes heartburn and the main time is when laid down. My DDs both had reflux - of the projectile type - but when we thickened the milk so it wouldn’t come back up we still had issues until we got the ranatidine medication. Some bottles also helped more - we used Dr Brown bottles back then. We also had cows milk protein allergy added into the equation but the screaming only stopped when we tackled the reflux. We spent a lot of time with the cot on little feet to lift the head end. We also had a slope you could pop under the mattress as well.

I was going suggest this as one of my DC was very much like the OP’s DD and it ended up being silent relfux. We had to put her down in an head elevated above toes sleeping position.

PatientlyWaiting21 · 07/01/2023 18:54

Calpol!

edel2 · 07/01/2023 18:56

HotPenguin · 07/01/2023 18:26

I think it's pain. It could be teething, earache or reflux as suggested above. The fact she is ok in the day does not rule out pain, as pain is worse at night for everyone - there is less cortisol in your system and fewer distractions so you feel pain more when trying to get to sleep.

Have you just introduced cows milk or formula? That could be causing pain.

This. Brill advice

Grassynoel · 07/01/2023 19:04

My son had ear ache for a full year from 9 months after we had taken a flight. It never bothered him a jot during the day but woke after an hour or so at night screaming with it. The fluid used to gather when he was lying down and the buildup caused pain. After months of antibiotics that didn't work, simple Actifed sorted it within a few days. I know that might not be your issue, it's just a thought.

On another note, my brother was like that when he was a baby. My mother often says she doesn't know how she survived it. Now he's a genius, as in gifted intellectually. He still only sleeps at most 5 hours a night, his brain is always working.
Whatever the issue is, I hope you get sorted op, i know it must be awful for you.x

SBAM · 07/01/2023 19:12

I would try calpol if you haven’t, one dose won’t do any harm and if it works you’ve got some clue as to what the issue is, if nothing changes you’ve ruled out pain.