What is wrong with my 6m old? - Desperately need help!

[kalicia]

Hi all.

The past 3 days have been a living nightmare with my daughters sleep. She was bad anyway but this is the worst it has ever been, even worse than the 4m sleep regression.

I can only describe it as, she just does NOT want to sleep at all, mainly at night. Naps have always been a problem but I say she manages 3 30min-45min naps a day. I usually rock her to sleep and hold her hand, or she lays down and I pat her back and hold her hand.

I don’t know what has happened to her but when it comes to sleeping at night, she kicks off like I have never seen before. My mum, her dad and myself have never seen a baby behave like this before. To put it into perspective, she is tired and goes to sleep around 8pm, I get her to sleep and she will maybe sleep an hour, wake up, I’ll get her back and she might sleep another hour or so. From 11pm to 3am it is a real battle. She cries, screams, throws herself around. She takes longer to settle, I could be patting her back or rocking her for an hour then as soon as I let go she through herself around, knocks her dummy out then continues to cry. I’ve tried putting the dummy back in, she will roll to the side to take herself to sleep then it is like something has clicked in her mind that she’s about to sleep and she rolls back and starts crying. This is continuous.

Before anyone suggests any pain or discomfort, she is not that bad in the day. At night as well I will sometimes sit her up if she’s hysterical and she’s back happy and smiling and wanting to play, even though she is exhausted. Just something about laying down and going to sleep really starts this baby off.

I have cried a lot these past few days, I completely dread the nights. I am getting 4 hours straight of her crying and fighting me if I try get her to sleep. She is not getting anywhere near as much sleep a baby should be getting her age. With her naps when she wakes I try get her back to sleep and she does not want any of it. I’m really at a loss. She is still in my room, I do often try get her to sleep with me in bed, she still cries and fights me for hours before she eventually gives in. I am also having to hold her hands because as soon as I let go she waves them about and that triggers her crying.

I wanted to start sleep training with the Ferber Method as she was a bad sleeper but this has just gone from bad to worse. When she cries it will go on and on there seems to be no end so I can’t imagine even trying the Ferber method because I feel like it will go on all night.

Before she would wake frequently but I would pop the dummy back in and she would take herself back to sleep. Now it is like she has suddenly forgot how to self settle and is completely reliant on me.

If anyone can offer experiences, whether their little one was similar or if sleep training genuinely works Or just any advice, why is she doing this suddenly?

I am willing to try anything at this point.

Thankyou xx

Sounds similar to my 6mo. His is 100% silent reflux we've battled with it since he was 2 weeks old. Difference being that at night he will sleep upright on me but finds it painful to be on his back between 8pm and 2am. I have to really work at getting him to nap in the day. Carrier and pram work well. I stick to the same times every day. Sleep breeds sleep. Good luck.

6m is a classic time for a sleep regression to happen. So hard but they do get through it- have you started weaning her? may well be hunger.

Have you tried a later bedtime? At that age DS would go to sleep at 10pm…anything earlier and he would cry for hours.

He’s now 21 months and goes to bed at 9pm. If I put him down earlier, he just doesn’t sleep well.

Some children just do better with a later bedtime.

There is a growth spurt at 6months so might be hungry.
my daughter got her first tooth at 6months so could me teething.

like with all phases it will pass.
continue supporting her

Earache or ear infection makes them crankier at night than during the day, because lying down makes the pain or pressure worse, and then they're so tired. Worth getting checked by gp. My ds never presented with any temp or other obvious signs, just absolutely chronic nighttime upset and exhaustion.

Teething?
Earache?
Irritated bottom?
Some new food recently introduced?

I had a non napper who woke every night until she was 2.5 years. You may have to brace yourselves for a long road ahead.

Following these for suggestions!!
have an 11mo with chronic ear infections, cmpa and reflux 😬 so safe to say we’ve been to hell and back so far. We’re up every hour of the night at the moment and have barely slept in months. I just keep telling myself this will pass and every day we are a day closer to it getting easier.

I wanted to start sleep training with the Ferber Method as she was a bad sleeper but this has just gone from bad to worse. When she cries it will go on and on there seems to be no end so I can’t imagine even trying the Ferber method because I feel like it will go on all night

honestly, it will not go on all night. My DD now 15 months was exactly the same as yours at that age, it was horrendous and I was too scared to sleep train because I felt like a bad mum. I battled with her for months and was on the verge of depression when I decided to do Ferber at a 12 months and it’s changed my life (dramatic but true)

I would try and rule out reflux, pain, teething etc, offer calpol and ambosol teething gel and see if it helps, and if all okay, try and implement a more independent sleep routine. My DD used to wake up and need me to rock her to get back to sleep but also hated me holding her so would thrash around and scream for hours every night. She needed the motion but I think she found it uncomfortable if that makes sense.

I hope things improve for you, just remember you are not alone and it WILL pass x

Another thing that helped was concentrating on lengthening daytime sleep… I became obsessed with her sleeping In her cot so I could have some time to myself but she was only having 2 x 30 minute naps a day. When I caved and let her sleep in the carrier she would have 2+ hours and this made bedtime and night wakenings so much better. The carrier was great because if she woke up I’d quickly stand up and start rocking to get her back

she would still wake a lot in the night but she was no longer hysterical and over tired.

Thankyou all for your comments everything you have suggested I’ve read.

In terms of teething, she has had teething symptoms since she was about 3m old. White gums, rosy cheeks, excess drool and wanting to push her gummies into anything she can get in her mouth. I didn’t think it was this as she can be screaming and fighting sleep but once she’s sat up she’s smiling and babbling like nothing is wrong.

She has never had reflux so I will to look into silent reflux as I don’t know much about it.

She has been introduced to different foods. I didn’t think it was allergies as she has no other symptoms, her stool is fine, she is throwing up, no rash or any of the other obvious symptoms. Just screaming as bedtime. But I obviously will not rule allergies out.

Shes definitely not hungry in the night because I will offer her a bottle and she will refuse it. This is a recent thing because a week ago she would take it. She is however drinking more water, so maybe thirsty but she still cries after she drinks.

To the person who suggested the otter comforter I have purchased it, Thankyou!

She will nap in a carrier, pram etc fine. Getting her to nap is a lot easier than getting her to sleep at night. Just the length of the naps are short.

I will keep an eye on the suggestion of ear ache although she does not have a temperature.

I definitely think the sleep regression and the developmental side of being 6m old has something do with it. She learnt to sit around 2 weeks ago and is always trying to roll. I give her plenty of time everyday to use these new skills so she is not trying them at night as I read it can be exciting for babies.

Tonight I put her teething gel on. She does have a drool rash as well which we are moisturising but she has had that a few weeks and it getting better. I also gave her calpol. I tried to ensure she had longer naps today and the 2nd nap when I could see her moving I patted her back to sleep which worked. She has just gone to sleep about half an hour ago in my arms. I transferred her to the crib about 5 minutes ago. So far still asleep. She is very dummy reliant as well, will not sleep or settle without it. I find in the night if she realises it’s gone she’s pushing her head to the mattress to try suck it back in. She is still asleep atm so I will see how this goes. I expect in about 30m she will wake again.

Was going to suggest earache too. Mine had this regularly and didn’t know until around a year later when the eardrum burst for the first time, has happened many many times since sadly and still does age 3.

Like I said, doesn't have to have a temperature to have an ear issue. Have you heard of glue ear?

Meant to add to my message, DS has glue ear with recurring burst drums.

She’s awake. Tried patting back to sleep and she’s having none of it, just rolling herself round. I keep offering her the dummy she takes it for a second then spits it out to cry. Tried holding her and rocking her up right, once again she was fine because she’s up and out but she’s not relaxing she’s trying to grab objects and babbling. She just does not want to sleep. I put her back down straight crying straight away. However if she is laid down with the lights on she doesn’t cry as she thinks it’s playtime. So rather than a laying down thing I definitely think it’s just some association to do with bedtime which has came out no where😩

I assume this is a no but is she doing any odd physical movements like flinging her arms out when she is trying to settle to sleep?

Try anbesol for teething, it's a game changer.

Does she just wanna stay close to you? Have you tried cosleeping?

@Geneticsbunny exactly that. Since we stopped swaddling her arms have always been a problem. I have to hold her hands and hold them down whilst patting her back otherwise she does wave them around or pulls her dummy out

@Lalalandddd So I just gave her a bottle which she finally took so she has stopped crying for now but she’s now throwing her legs about thinking it’s playtime. I usually do cosleep I have since she was about 3m as sometimes it’s the only way to get any good sleep. But no it’s not the issue this time as when she has been next to me the past few days she has still been hysterical

Is it like the Moro reflex? Google it

My daughter is a lot like this. Will sit up/grin/ giggle/start crawling around her cot or will sit up and whinge and rub her eyes but refuse to lie down. Definitely not teeth/pain/reflux. We’re stuck in a vicious cycle of overtiredness that I’m finding really hard to break. Currently just trying to be really consistent with nap times and let her contact nap during the day so that at least she gets some daytime sleep… that plus an earlier bedtime seems to be helping a bit (or at least making night wakings less bad)!

Goof luck. I feel your pain.

Sounds like silent reflux. Both my babies had this and one needed lansoprazole. I'd probably take her to the Drs to rule out any other medical problems and try the gaviscon sachets to see if they make a difference. I had to sit up all night and let my baby sleep on me sitting upright as she went mental when I laid her down flat.
Big hugs, I know how stressful it is having a screamer!

Have you tried putting on some kind of projector lights onto the celling that she can look at while drifting off? My little one love it, and turns off after an hour

Oh that sounds really hard, I'm sorry OP.

The only other thing I can think of which I don't think has been mentioned already, is that is she getting enough daytime sleep?

I know you said she only naps up to 45 mins 3 times which seems a little low for a 6 month old, so maybe she's overtired by bedtime and it's disturbing her sleep?

Orrrr if she isn't crying when she's awake and she'll happily play with the light on then maybe just keep the room dimly lit until she's showing signs to go back down again. You could grab a pillow and duvet so you can lie down in her room in the meantime.

@Geneticsbunny no. She was like that as a newborn but it’s more waving her hands around now

@Fleur405 We are definitely stuck in the overtiredness cycle too. Getting her to nap has always been difficult, getting her to nap for a long time is even harder. Whilst I had nothing to do today I focused on her nap times but she really struggles to stay asleep.

@Rachaelrachael I don’t think it is silent reflux now I’ve looked more into it but Thankyou though. As when I put the lamp on she’s laid down smiling away. It’s just anything to do with falling asleep she does not like.

@Cuppateaplzz Yes, I have a projector I just don’t want to overstimulate her. When she was younger this was a part of our routine she would drink her milk whilst looking at it

@Lalalandddd Definitely not enough daytime sleep, she has never had enough but she is so difficult, she fights her nap times really bad

Just for an update. She is still awake, gave her a bottle which she eventually decided she wanted then put the projector on a red light with stars and the moon. She seems to like this and it’s calmed her. No crying, but also no sleeping. I will take that though. She has been watching the light for around 40 minutes and fiddling with her dummies. Just waiting for her to hopefully fall asleep, or she may start crying again.