Has anyone tried sleeping training ?? Help

[Daisyflower12345]

How did you do it ?

I really need to do something as I'm physically and emotionally drained!
DD is 14months and still isn't sleeping through the night an regularly wakes up. I'm so sleep deprived. Many have mentioned to try the Ferber method where you come in after long intervals. I just need to do something and this is literally my last and final option I don't know wat else to do.

Has anyone tried this ?? Has it worked ? Was it the worse thing ever ? Please any advice will help.

@HoneyPea When she woke up I tried to lay her back down in the cot but she just started crying even more. So I put her in the bed between me an DH and she was literally just playing and bouncing around, basically entertaining herself lol until she eventually fell asleep after hours.

Awwww that's amazing ! At least you've had 4 good night sleeps. Hope it keeps going well for u fingers crossed.

It's crazy when they're wide awake at night and have all this energy. It's so tiring and draining.

Like I feel scared going up to bed hahah as I feel she will wake up any minute and will stay awake 😫

I felt like that until we moved him to his own room but that was back during the Christmas holidays last year, we were all definitely waking each other up in the night!
When you do start to do CC you need to have a plan that you both stick to, consistency really is key.
We have the issue that once you go in to him he doesn't like to you leave again so you get stuck for ages as he will cry until he becomes hysterical and has thrown up on occasion. We have decided that if he cries for more than 5minutes we will go into his room, not take him out of his cot, talk to him until he stops crying, then give him a cuddly toy he likes to play with and then cut communication, lay down and pretend we are asleep. Last time I had to go in I was able to leave after 15mins and go back to sleep, he played with his toy quietly for an hour and a half and then finally fell asleep. The last time my husband did it he actually fell asleep on his floor for 2 hours while DS was happily playing in his cot next to him 😂🤣

@HoneyPea Yes I do think having their own room makes a big difference. But unfortunately due to space DD won't be having her own room anytime soon 😔

Me and DH have spoken about the CC and have agreed that we have to stick to it.
If one of us feels abit weak and wants to give up the other one has to remind us that this is benefiting DD and it will all be worth it in the end lol let's hope it goes well next week.

Last night was another dreadful night. DD went to bed at 7.20pm she woke up at 2pm and again was awake for 2hours talking to herself jumping up an down. I could tell after about an hour she was tired as she kept trying to get comfortable but was getting annoyed and started to cry a little. Eventually she fell asleep around 4ish and woke up at 7.50pm.

@Daisyflower12345 what do you think about putting her to bed at 6:30 this week? Honestly don't think 7:20 is early enough.

@Indecisivelurcher Hmmm yes your right. I need to try something anything will do. I have been putting her to bed at 7 because she's been having a long nap. But I will try around 6 today.

Anything for my sanity lol

@Daisyflower12345 It's a shame you don't have space as having his own room made a huge difference even though he's only next door. Hope you had a good night x

@HoneyPea I know I really wish we had the space an she had her own room.

Well last night was not the greatest but not the worst if that makes sense lol. She woke up around 12am an was awake for an hour or so and then went back to sleep and woke up at 6.40am.

So not too bad but still have a lot of work. Just looking forward to next week to start the CC.

How are you? X

@Daisyflower12345 At least it wasn't too bad. I do think the more sleep they get the more sleep they want.
We haven't had any night wakings so far since moving to one nap and moving bedtime and hour earlier (6 nights) The only problem I am having is when to give lunch. Before nap or after!? I'm sure we will get into a routine soon.

@HoneyPea Omg haha I have the same issue! Because she has her nap at 12pm. So what Iv been doing is giving her something quite small around 11.30am and then milk. When she wakes up I give her a proper lunch depending on how much she ate at 11.30am. But still trying to figure it out lol.

That's good glad your having good nights. I hope I have that too soon.

That's what I keep explaining to DH the earlier she sleeps the more she will sleep. But he keeps saying we put her to bed too early that's why she is waking through the night. So it's another battle with DH

A lot of nurseries and preschools do lunch at 11:30 for this reason :)

Never sleep trained with either of my kids, just established a good night time routine and stuck with it, kids aren't animals you can't '' train '' them as they grow and change all the time. Have a set bedtimes, bath, bottle, story, white noise and put them down in their cot sleepy and they soon learn to fall asleep on their own, a dummy also helps with self soothing xx

@Kirst89 some do some don't, it's been established to be at least in part genetic by peer reviewed research. So science says, it's nature as well as nurture.

Not a case of the parents who had an easier ride having done it right with a nice solid routine, and the others are by inference either not doing it right or not letting it happen in its own time and somehow wrong in expecting a 16m old to sleep through and should just co-sleep forever until it happens by magic...

I do hope your not referring to me as a parent who has had an easy ride because that is definitely not the case atall.
I'm simply saying if you have the patience, it's your baby, you can do it without the need for all these hacks and so called training programs. What do you think people did back in the days when nine of this was about? @Daisyflower12345

@Kirst89 well clearly I have tried everything possible and my child is still not sleeping so what do u suggest??

She has a solid bedtime routine bath bottle book etc and that still hasn't helped her. So this is why I will be trying to sleep train.

@Kirst89 you touched a nerve with me so apologies if I had a wee rant. Of course I don't have any way to know if you have had an easy ride as regards children's sleep. Apart from that, I stand by what I said.

@Kirst89

I do hope your not referring to me as a parent who has had an easy ride because that is definitely not the case atall. I'm simply saying if you have the patience, it's your baby, you can do it without the need for all these hacks and so called training programs. What do you think people did back in the days when nine of this was about? *@Daisyflower12345*

But you’re just talking about another version of sleep training. If you need patience, you’re using a routine, and teaching your baby how to fall asleep by themselves... you’re doing a form of sleep training, whether you’re following a particular plan or not.

Sleep training was for me. I figured the baby is waking for a reason - cold, hungry, teething, needs comfort.

I know it's distressing, trust me, I've been there, but personally felt that if all the needs were met, baby just want you. A quick snuggle to let them know your there works wonders in my opinion.

A NCT friend of mine, did a (in my opinion) a brutal form of sleep training, to the point of turning the monitor off as the baby was crying - well if the baby is crying they need you! He could of had wind, a dirty nappy, cold, sore, wet - could of been sick?

I take my hat off to anyone who can do it, but it's not for me x

@Indecisivelurcher @Daisyflower12345
Still not getting lunchtime right 😢
I was worried he wouldn't want lunch when I gave it to him at 11.45 today but then I remembered he's my child and is always hungry, only problem was he was clearly tired as he asked me to feed him (held the spoon out to me, he's not that articulate yet 🤣😂) during his second helping and then tried to fall asleep in his high chair. Wondering if he will take a step back when it comes to feeding himself 😕
Also he was starving (translate to very very hangry) when it came to dinner even though he had a snack after his nap 🤦‍♀️ These babies keep us on our toes.

@Indecisivelurcher @HoneyPea

So me an DH has some disagreements and I just gave up to his idea as I thought it can't get any worse than it is.

So DH suggested putting DD to sleep abit later as he feels she's been sleeping too early that's why she wakes during the night (I know I don't agree with him at all) but he kept saying let's try what's the worse that can happen.

So anyway past 2 nights we have put her to bed at 9pm. First night she slept through an only woke up at 5am and I slightly patted her and she fell asleep and woke up at 7.30am. Last night she went sleep again at 9pm and slept through an didn't even wake up until 7am.

Now DH is like yes let's change her bedtime to 9pm etc etc. But I really don't want to as I feel 9pm is too late an she isn't getting the full hours she needs. But I just don't understand how she is sleeping through with a later bedtime.

I'm not sure what to do as DH is adamant it's because of her bedtime?

That's awkward @Daisyflower12345.

I suppose all you can do is add up total sleep hours and compare to guidelines. And go by her behaviour in the day.

I find it hard to believe it'll be a permanent solution.

However! If it works for a bit then how about using it as a start, and gradually creeping bedtime forward to a better time? The clock change could help you here too. This is actually a technique used for adult insomnia. I will try to find you a link.

One of the reasons we paid for a sleep consultant is because dh and I didn't agree!

I can't remember what it's called so will have to hunt around online. But I'll quickly describe the technique.

1. Work out how many hours you can sleep in a row. So let's say I'm sleeping 10-3 then waking up and can't get back to sleep. So I can sleep 5hrs.
2. Work out what time you want to get up in the morning. Let's say 7 (I wish!)
3. If 7 is morning and I can sleep 5hrs, bedtime needs to be at 2am.
4. Stick with this for a period of time. Feel like crap. Mainline coffee.
5. Start to creep bedtime forward slowly slowly. The idea being you've broken the habit of that wake up and will sleep through it.

I've actually done similar to this with my 6yo, when she was about 5.5. We kept her up until 10. Even now she sleeps better through the week if we let her have a late night at the weekend, 8:30 or 9pm.

However not sure about doing this for babies but sometimes it's horses for courses if you know what I mean.

OK it's called Sleep restriction. So you can look it up. As I said it's a technique used for adults with insomnia.

@Indecisivelurcher I know very awkward.

Me an DH have been arguing about this for a while now and then I just gave in as I thought what harm can it do as can't get any worse.

I was just so surprised that she fully slept through so no awake windows at all for both nights. Just a very light 5second tap and thats literally it. She hasn't slept through in weeks an has been awake for hours on end so I was quite taken aback by it lol.

But yes thank you very much for that. I totally understand what you mean. I think we will jus carry on with bedtime at 9ish until end of week an then Monday we should try the sleep training an see how we get on.

I had a look online and the guideline for my DD is about 14hours sleep she requires. So at the moment with this 9pm bedtime she is getting around 10hours at night and 1-2hours at nap time. So altogether she is getting around 12hours. At the moment that isn't too bad compared to the last couple of weeks with her awake windows she was getting far less sleep as she would still wake up at 7am 😂

Hopefully with sleep training we can slowly make bedtime earlier an see how we get on

@Daisyflower12345 At least you're have all had some fairly good sleep then. Is she not really tired and grumpy in the evening or are you doing 2 naps a day?
I think I read somewhere (but don't quote me) that they get used to less sleep and learn to function 🤷‍♀️
We have only had one early morning wake up of 5.30, since changing to a one nap day, where he was up for an hour and then went back to sleep until 8. He's very dribbly and putting everything in his mouth so think teeth were to blame 😕

@HoneyPea hey surprisingly she isn't grumpy or anything like that. We are still doing one nap a day which is usually about 2 hours last night I put her to sleep slightly earlier than 9pm an put her to sleep at 8.30pm. She woke up twice but for like 10mins and went back to sleep. So still a good improvement from being awake hours on end. So il just keep doing this an gradually being bedtime forward. I'm also hoping me an DH manage to do the sleep training and are strong enough.

Aww that's good glad your nights are still going well. An atleast he went back to sleep and woke up at 8am that's great lol. Yes they will have time where they will wake up and like you said could be teething.