SLEEP IS FOR THE WEAK PART 6 - now with added caffeine*

[ImBarryScott]

• I wish.

Morning all,

Hope you find this!

for your rough night Amber.

After a few good ones, we had a crap one too. Up at 1.30, 3, 4.30, 5.30, 6.15........
I think she was a bit overtired last night. Hope we can get her napping better today .

So how were all your nights?

oohh...i'd love ds to sleep for 50mins before rustlings occured - we get the max 40mins, then screaming, then cries/whimpers for 10mins, then back to sleep for another 40mins! i'm hoping the 10min crying session will fade!

false alarm.
ds normally does 2 hours. yesterday did over 3! bizarrely enough 3 is a bit much as i'm tied to the house. we're never happy are we!

3 hrs!! don't think ds has even done that even when he was tiny and slept for most of the day - well, we've had our 10min whinging session, he's not getting up til 2pm when neighbours has finished (and that's that!)

ds never slept that long either, it's only as he's gotten older and runs around like mad man the rest of the day. he's nearly 21 months

anybody watching channel 5 on sun at 8pm?....... 'nobody puts baby in a corner' patrick 'swizzle hips' swayze, oh my!

meg, that is tough. mum and i dont always get on, but it is nice to have her near.

hi everyone. hope you had a nice coffee with your mum tibs. mine is in Aus, like all our relatives. I would like to be able to offload ds sometimes, like today for instance.

He wouldn't settle for a nap at all this morning. After waking up at all the even numbers all night. Really had enough. I'm going to be horrible and express a bottle of milk and go to yoga tomorrow at 9, despite the fact that ds doesn't really drink from a bottle and will be hellishly hard to settle. i just can't really keep doing this without doing anything for myself ever.

because ds doesn't drink bottles, i feel tied down to his nap routine and never get to do anything myself. also dh has been working until at least midnight all week, so have been doing everything myself. saw him for 5 mins this morning! it's really harsh, he needs to recover from this week, so i hate to dump ds on him, but am going to freak out if i don't do it.
sorry for the rant.

meg, you're doing reallyu well with the night weaning. we've kinda gone backwards a bit.

Amber love, you need some time off else you'll go insane. I'm finding it much easier to cope now I'm back at work and have some 'me' time even if it's just sitting (or standing) on a train. Your lo will learn if your DH keeps giving it a go. What about a sippy cup? or water just in case?

Don't feel guilty, it's very demanding this motherhood milarkey especially when you're breastfeeding. You're going bloomin' marvelous stuff.

Is there anything I can do to help? Happy to, for anyone for that matter.

thanks ginger. i just feel sad today. probably tiredness mostly. he'll drink from a open cup, but not very much. i usually feed him to settle him down for a nap, so am leaving dh with a difficult job, but after 9.5 months of settling down to naps, i kinda think it's time for everyone, including ds, to be a bit more flexible for my sake.

Hi all, I'm back! Knew it couldn't last...

Anyway we successfully dropped the night feed all that time ago and dd started going to bed around 7.30/8 and sleeping through most nights until at least 7am. She then had a few nights of major weeing and started waking at 5ish needing her nappy changed, but would then go straight back down until 8am.

Recently though we seem to have regressed, she is waking at any point between 2 and 5, and then not resettling, meaning that I am in and out of her room for the next couple of hours. I've tried bringing her in wih us, but as we aren't used to co-sleeping I find it really difficult and most of the time she just gets overexcited about seeing daddy and wants to play anyway.

There doesn't seem to be any one thing that works to get her back to sleep, but she will be up for at least 2 hours whatever-I am starting to get very scared that in december i'll just snap when faced with a newborn needing frequent night feeds on top of dd being up for a couple of hours in the middle of each night.

TBH if she wakes at 5am it's not too bad as I've usually had a good stretch of sleep myself by then and can cope better. It's wehn she wakes at 2 or 3 i have problms as i am usually then unable to get back to sleep afterwards.

My usual strategy is:
Go in, lie her back down (repeat 3 times or so)
Put on her lullaby cd
Change her nappy, lie her back down
Go in, lie her back down (repeat until I can't take anymore)
Give in and get her milk
Go in lie her back down a couple of times

I sometimes add medised into this at some point after changing her nappy which does often work, but obviously i only give it if i think it might be her teeth bothering her and won't give it nightly!

I won't usually give her milk before 5am cos I don't want to get back into the nightfeed habit, plus it no longer has the magical instant back to sleep effect.

I feel I am being fairly consistent but she isnt getting the message! What else can I try? Do you think I should wake her in the morning at the same time each day regardless? At the moment I tend to let her sleep until she naturally wakes (usually between 7.30-8.30 but we have had a couple of 9am wakings and even one 9.30) If i'm honest the reason I havent done this yet is because I also take the opportunity to catch up on some rest while she sleeps!

Help me please! I am scared!!!

hi claireybee. how old is your LO again?

You poor love Claire. Is she in a bed, remind me? If not how about it? And a big one at that so you or DH can slot in beside her and not actually take her into your bed. Is there any reason your DH can't take over for a bit? Sorry for so many questions I'm trying to remind myself of your situation

Amber sorry you have had a tough day. You should definitely go to yoga tomorrow, I'm sure DS and DH will survive! Sometimes I feel frustrated that settling DS is all on my shoulders, but then really it's my fault for being obsessed with sleep and taking charge of it so much . DH is always willing to have a go but I usually don't let him because I fear I'd only end up going in there anyway!

Clairybee sorry things have gone a bit wrong for you but they were going so well that I'm sure this is just a temporary blip What are her naps like, could it be she needs less daytime sleep?

thanks meg, i guess i'll have to see how well LO sleeps. if it's as bad as last night, i'll prob have no energy. and have to see when dh gets home as well, poor man is working his heart out!

Hi
I am new and have dipped in and out of mumsnet at times of need. So far this thread has made me feel worse as there are no magic rules which we all seem to crave!

I have a 5 month old who wakes 4 times a night and is then bright a a button at anywhere between 5 and 6.

He isn't hungry when he wakes but always wakes crying out as if he is in need. I bf for 5 mins and put him back. 1 to 2 hours later we go through the same thing again and so on until 5.30 ish when he is 'up'

I dont know why he does it??? He can't be hungry!!! He is very tired as he goes back to sleep relatively easily and he doesn't sleep much in the day.

He doesn't like formula and will take a bottle very occassionaly. He eats a little bit of fruit and baby rice as well as bf.

I read on the formula time he should be drinking 5 7oz feeds in 24 hours. I am pretty sure I am not supplying that, but his weight gain has been standard.

Are there any suggestions or do I just read about everyone else who is suffering to make myself feel better? (it really does make me feel better and I remember this in the middle of the night)

Any thoughts would be welcome and I promise not to write so much next time......

Hi Leo, welcome, but sorry you find yourself here because of lack of sleep. Also apologies for making you feel worse i guess we're just realistic in here ...

sounds like your ds is getting plenty of milk from BFs, so i wouldn't worry about amounts at all. he'll take what he needs (mostly at night probably, but there you go)
It sounds to me like he might be using the BF to settle himself back to sleep when he wakes up. what a lovely way for him to be able to go back to sleep, but a bit of a hassle for you to have to do 4 times a night. and very tiring.

of course there are no answers and generally it's a bit of trial and error and waiting out the worst bits in our experience. one day your child WILL sleep through the night, as will all of ours and that will be a happy happy day

i'm thinking the others might want to tell you about the gradual retreat that they've done to help their LO's settle themselves.

my other suggestion is if you have a partner who is willing, send him in for every second waking to see if he can settle him without the boob. at least it would give you a break, and maybe ds would learn different ways of going to sleep as well.

that's all i've got at the moment, as i'm off to bed, but hope to see you tomorrow, and hope you get some rest.

ps. we also have a blog at www.sleepisfortheweak.wordpress.com

morning all 1st up as usual - even at 8am - think i need to get out more!

just when i thought ds had cracked the mornings, he woke at 5.30am (though i blame dh for being noisy when he got up , he claims ds was already standing up! )
thankfully went back to sleep after milk and a 5min whinge til 7.30am

amber - you deserve a break. I totally understand how you feel, it seems esp hard when you don't have family nearby (all my family in oz, dh's family abroad or not nearby), and you just want to vent/dump children etc etc. Is your dh aussie as well?

ep - hope manchester was ok and you managed to get some rest on the train

tibs - also jealous of your outing with your mum - i miss mine a lot, but also get a lot of quality time with here when i do see here

welcome leo - you might not find the answers here, but everyone is very welcoming (i'm a relative newbie) and it is a good place to vent your frustrations without being judged

Thank you Amberjee for your wise words. It made me feel much better as I faced yet another night.

At 9.30 ds woke and I fed him on our bed, then I thought right - you are getting up with me!I brought him downstairs and he sat on my knee yawning for an hour and then we went to bed. I haven't done this before because he is very difficult to wake him at this time - but last night it worked, and he was happy.

Anyway, I got him back to sleep by 11ish and guess what - he didn't wake until 3.49!!!!!!

I slept for nearly 4 hours in a row. Also he seemed properly hungry when I fed him.

I put him back and he woke up at 6!!!!!

Now this is the best night I have had in weeks, I am delighted but realistic that tonight could be a whole different story.

I look forward to reading the other blog you mention and am so pleased I have taken the plunge to start typing!

Morning

Skirmish and Leo, glad your nights weren't too bad.

Ours was OK, nothing til 12.30 but then wouldn't settle so gave Medised at 1.30 as I think top teeth are bothering him. After that, nothing til 5, when fed and back to be dtil 6.45

Still feel knackered for some reason though! Anyway I am going to get a haircut this afternoon (first since Feb ) so looking forward to that...

Cold innit?

morning

meg of your haircut. nothing like a couple of child free hours in the hairdressers with coffee and magazines!

amber i hope you've left ds with dh today and are having some time on your oen. you really need it esp if you have no family to share the load. You're doing an amazing job on your own. ds is a very lucky little boy

welcome leo. glad you had an ok night. chin up and remember you can always come here for a moan and some sympathy.

claireyb what age is dd again? if it's come out of the blue (ie she was sleeping well before) then it must be teething or a growth spurt. check out the blog amber linked to earlier on the thread. 'ask moxie' has some specific info on ages when sleep could become disturbed. just repeat the mantra 'it's only a phase'. also if it helps alot of friends have said that when no.2 came along no.1 started sleeping better.

Hey ginger. how are things? we don't seem to cross over atn. hope dd is still doing ok. how are the early starts?

skirmish your night sounds good. great news that ds went back over. i'd put money on dh waking him up! what is it with men and their inability to be quiet. i laugh at dh when he tries to whisper, it's just a husky shout!

oh our night good.
ds late to bed as out for dinner with friends.
asleep by 9 (in our bed)
woke at 7.15 for the day

hi all,

hope you dont mind me joining the thread. Amberjee invited me along. having sleep problems with DS2. Nightmare. he's 8months and wakes anywhere between 3 and 7 times from 11 till 5:30 when the day starts, sometimes 4:30.

we moved him into his own room at 7months, before this he had been in a cot at end of bed, till about 2 then in with me as breastfeeding.

it;s jsut good to know that i'm not alone! and i know they get over it, my ds1 is proof of that but right now it feels like its never gona stop....aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh. anyone want a cup of coffeee....i'm on my 6th for the day!

morning all

first, just wanted to send the lovely amber big, big hugs. i hope you go and enjoy yoga today, you'll feel so much better for it it took dd ages to get used to a bottle, i just kept on once every day until she got used to it. she only has one a day now, but i know i've got the option if i want to escape. also, i know its a horrid thing to say, but if theyre that desperately hungry, theyll take it. that boy of yours is very lucky to have you as a mama xx

hi to clairey, but you feel the need iyswim?

and a big welcome to leo, i agree with amber, if you could get someone else to try one of the wakings, to get lo used to going back to sleep without the bfing. having said that, my dd is a boob monster too, and its a sure fire way to get her to sleep. are you co sleeping? that makes lots of wakings more manageable, if youre happy to carry on

hi skirmish for good night but for early start!

Meggy, yey, for your night too, but for the teeth. enjoy the pampering of your haircut. i love people playing with my hair. try to get dp/ds to brush it etc, but they no play!! am hoping dd will be into it when shes older

fab night tam my lovely!! go ds

leo for your improved night. chin up, we're all with you!

our night was okish. bed at 7.15pm,
woke at 8.45pm for a shh/pat
woke at 11.30pm for a feed
woke at 1.30pm for a feed
up at 6am for the day
not brilliant, but she does have a streaming nose and some big ass teeth ripping thru her gums it will get better again [positive emoticon]

welcome beal and i'd love a coffee with you my lovely the wakings i can just about cope with, its those early starts, arrrrgggghhhh how old is ds1?

he was 2 at beginning of oct.....i've a 16month gap....was fab in beginning as i could get them both to sleep at same time in day.....no chance now, they're both so sporadic in their daytime naps!