When do babies REALLY sleep through! Be honest!!

[HJ82]

So far on this 8 month journey of parenting we've tackled the usual sleep issues, cat naps etc. Night feedings etc, still going strong... slept through once at 6 months. Hasn't since. Anyway, long short of it. Every mum I know has the same stories. Multiple wakes, screaming sessions middle of the night, co-sleeping till 2years old on boob in bed... etc etc. Heard it all. We've done gentle sleep training and baby responded well but then hits a new phase or gets sick and it all goes tits up.

So tell me, when did your babe ACTUALLY sleep all night long? Like the 7-7 dream

@Abouttimemum same here. Bed by 630 and up at 6. But she's waking twice and on boob

My 5 year old has never slept 7-7. He probably sleeps through the night 2/3 of the time but goes to sleep at 9ish. My 2 year old has never slept more than 6 hours in one stretch. He usually wakes for feeds at about midnight and 4.

DS - 7 months.

DD - 16 months.

Mine are almost 5 (next month) and 19 months. They still don't both sleep through every night. The 19 month old wakes at least once a night every night. The nearly 5 year old doesn't do it every night but enough to make life "interesting".

My mum said I only slept through the night when I discovered alcohol as a teenager.

I currently have 2 different prescriptions for sleeping pills.

15 months old here still waking through the night been co sleeping for the last 3 months which has improved things slightly but still was a nightmare when she was unwell for a few weeks.

First baby was sleeping 12-15 hours a night from 6 months. Second baby is now 2.5 years old and I'm still waiting... 😑

Dds both only slept through when they started school. Ds sleeps through but I suspect it's only because he is in with me. He's 5.

For my own sleep health I used to have dc in the living room with us until it was time for me to go to bed then they would at least get several hours of sleep before waking.

We found that worked for us.

*@HJ82 it can be hard work as the same parent has to commit to doing it. The first night I picked him up about 40 times, the next night was about 18 and the third about six.

DC1: slept through around her 2nd birthday
DC2: is 3 and has only slept through a handful of times in his life. Most nights he’s up at least 3 times.
DC3: is only 17 weeks old....so the booby buffet is open aaalllll night.

How I’m even still alive is beyond me

Both mine were just over a year. About 13 or 14 months old. It's like something clicked in their brains and they just started sleeping through 7-7. I don't mean to sound smug and many will disagree with me but I instilled good habits from day 1 - e.g. Putting them to bed sleepy but awake, not generally breastfeeding to sleep etc. I truly believe this approach created good sleepers. I have friends who never really let their children learn how to fall asleep on their own and they still have sleep issues even though their kids are much older (I.e. 8 years old, one 13 year old!).

2.5 years for both. Around the same time they dropped naps.

I'm still waiting for DS2 to get up at 7am though. He's 10. He's a 6.30am riser. He started as a 4.30 riser at 2.5 and its very gradually gotten later. We leave him to it though - he just goes downstairs and watches telly or reads rather than getting us up.

DS1 is 12 and we're lucky if he rises before 9am of a weekend.

My almost 8yo still wakes up at least once a night, often more. He has suspected SEN and is a very anxious child though. 2.5yo also wakes up once or twice still but is improving

I am so sorry you are having a rough time.
I am at the other end of parenting, with teenagers, and I just want to say that my worst sleeper has been my easiest teen, so there is payback!

I ebf all of mine, but they were so different

dc1 - slept from 11 pm to 6 am at 5 weeks. Then increased, so did 10 - 7 at 8 weeks. Basically 7-7 with a feed when I went to bed at 10ish. But really easy baby has not been the easiest of kids, very sensitive, very fiesty, you say white, he says black...

dc2 - hopeless sleeper for 6 months. Used to wake at 1 am and then every hour all through the night. I was on my knees. She did 7pm-1am but I could not shift that sleep slot to actual night time.
Then at 7 months I stopped offerring her the breast at night and offered her water. She slept through after 2 nights and became my easy kid

dc3 - by 8 weeks she mostly slept 10pm- 7am with one feed at 4 ish. At about 6 months she dropped the 4 am feed, so was doing 7-7 with a feed at 10 pm.
But she was the one who went through randoom phases of waking up in the middle of the night as a toddler. Just needed taking back to bed, but still. 2-3 times per week, awake in the night. And she has always been an early riser, she rarely made it to 7 am, always 6 am.

So swings and roundabouts. And I was tough. Once they were weaned and eating well, I only offered water in the middle of the night, it really helped then to stop waking.

DC1 - 6 months. Prem and low birth weight so we did nothing to encourage him to drop any night feeds. From 3/4 months he was up once at 2am for a bottle then back to bed. Still a good sleeper now he's 5.

DC2 - 6/7 weeks. BUT only because if he stirred I'd give him a cuddle in bed and he'd fall back asleep, something I'd never done with DC1. He's nearly 2 and sleeps 7-7/8 but the dark mornings have definitely helped. I'm already worrying about the coming months as I just don't think he's as easy going as DC1.

DC1 - 2.5 years
DC2 - 8 months

Though the both still have the odd disturbed night sleep

SallyWD Not so much disagreeing with you, because fab that that worked for your children, but it would be nice if you believed that other people’s children are different and what worked for yours wouldn’t work for them. Because that’s the part that is so unpleasant - the disbelief. I have no problem believing that what you did was the right thing for yours.

@IvinghoeBeacon I genuinely do believe you! I know all kids are different. My own two are like chalk and cheese (not in terms of sleep but in other ways) . I believe there are many kids who are terrible sleepers despite their parents doing everything they can to help them develop good habits. It's just that I do know a few parents who since birth have been so reluctant to let their kids cry or even whinge a little once they're in bed. I'm talking about doing the cry it out method - I mean just putting the child in bed and letting it cry or grumble for a few minutes before settling themselves. As a result these kids have never learnt to sleep without lots of parental intervention. I know there are lots of other kids who just wake up a lot for no reason and that's just how they are.

Hmm, but you are disbelieving me a bit.

“I mean just putting the child in bed and letting it cry or grumble for a few minutes before settling themselves. As a result these kids have never learnt to sleep without lots of parental intervention. I know there are lots of other kids who just wake up a lot for no reason and that's just how they are.”

With my son, attempts to put him in the cot and “let him cry for a few minutes” resulted in hysterical sobbing to the point of vomiting, it wasn’t something I was prepared to try more than once. It was cruel for him, but clearly not for other babies - my niece used to look contentedly around the room and then drift off. From birth he would not sleep alone. This wasn’t just crying or “grumbling” and then settling, this was as though he had been abandoned. You would almost certainly call it me “not letting him learn how to sleep without parental intervention”. But I am saying that he started out from a point where “learning” that wasn’t even on the radar, but he has come a long long way developmentally and I am sure that will continue. At 20mo he sleeps through most nights, he stirs and resettles himself as is normal and as I know man. Sometimes he needs our reassurance. He isn’t ready to fall asleep alone at the start of the night though, and will probably take a long time for that. But this was a baby who woke every 45 minutes and needed close body contact to sleep for many many months of his life - so look how far he has come. This is not us “failing to let him learn” or anything - it is going at his pace.

@IvinghoeBeacon I promise you I do believe you. I am sure you're not lying about this. I was thinking specifically about 2 people I know (a relative of mine and a close friend of mine) and their experiences. I am sure there are children (like yours) who just will not settle so my methods of letting them self settle won't work. I've been lucky with my two in terms of sleep. If we're discussing eating habits or general behaviour then I haven't been so lucky!

Haha yes, it’s definitely a case of win some, lose some

DD 12 months
DS 3 years

One of the pluses of having twins was realizing very quickly that only part of parenting was what parents brought to the table, a large part was what dc brought.
Our pair have always been very different and responded very differently even with the same inputs and the same time.

I instilled good habits from day 1 - e.g. Putting them to bed sleepy but awake, not generally breastfeeding to sleep etc. I truly believe this approach created good sleepers.

I've done exactly the same, I put them down awake and they settle themselves to sleep. They don't sleep through the night though. I've just made 19 month old dd walk the 3 miles (roundtrip) to collect her brother from preschool in an attempt to tire her out so I don't have to get up multiple times through the night with her. I'll be amazed if it works.

Actually 7-7?
Never.
But once they were old enough to go to the toilet/get a glass of water/whatever they needed it didn't matter.
I'm 35 and don't sleep through so never expected my DC to.