Anyone else trying to gently sleep train?

[MrsIH]

Dd2 is 13 months old and always been a crap sleeper. The longest stretch of sleep (up until very recently) I’ve had is 3 hours and that is on a good night. Generally I think she was waking 2 hourly but I’ve had nights of every 45 minutes. I have a dd1 who is 3 but who is thankfully a good sleeper.

I’m not at work atm luckily and I have no tolerance really for the crying methods. They’re just not for me so I’m not looking for suggestions or justifications of them.

What I’m trying is getting her to fall asleep in the cot and also trying to reduce feeds (she is breast fed) over night.

Anyway the falling asleep in the cot is going well. She did last night but some nights I’m still putting her down asleep as I pick her up and cuddle her if she cries. Frustratingly last night she woke up after 2 hours even though she’d fallen asleep in the cot. I think I got her back down ok but then she woke after another 2 hours. Then I was up for 2 hours trying to settle her. I gave in and fed her in the end although she still didn’t go back to sleep! DH managed to get her down in the end. So I’ve had about 5 hours broken sleep which isn’t great.

Basically looking for anyone else trying to do a similar thing and some moral support. I’m desperate to improve sleep as it’s so hard having her and her sister all day on my own on broken shit sleep!

I'll join! I have a six month old, and although we aren't doing too badly, I want to start nudging her in the right direction now, as I'll be back at work later this year - and I need to start now, because anything gentle I'm willing to try is going to take time!

Currently I feed to sleep, and she (usually) does a good 4-5 hour stint, which is awesome - it's also when we get DD1 to bed then eat dinner ourselves. After the first wake-up, she's up every 2-3 hours - and tends to wake at 5/5.30, which means by the time I've settled her DD1 is minutes away from waking up for the day!

I have started trying to unlatch her when she's drowsy but awake, then cuddling her till she falls asleep. The plan is to gradually increase the gap between feeding and falling asleep so that I can eventually just put her down and walk out. So far, she'll fall asleep in my arms 90% of the time - although I'm not sure how easy the shift to putting her in cot to fall asleep there with my hand on her will be! I also have no idea what to do about the night wakings - other than hope she learns to just settle back to sleep as she gets used to doing it at bedtime...?

After a few nights of being able to settle her in the cot dd2 was having none of it tonight and was crying every time I put her down so I just held her and put her down asleep.
I was feeding to sleep @MammaPyjama but it wasn’t too hard to go from that to in the cot awake. As long as she wasn’t too tired at the bedtime feed.

I’m planning to not feed her till after 1 now but I’ll have to see as I’m so tired from last night.

Me me me!

I was going to start last week but then DD 6months got norovirus so am waiting until she is recovered. I’m then going with feed to sleep put in cot, don’t feed again until after 11 so there’ll be some patting or cuddles in this time.

I’m having real trouble with her being wide awake at 3 am so I’m hoping this will help her get back to sleep then.

Me too! DS also 6 months. We’ve had a few 3 or 4 hour stretches, and one amazing 6 hour stretch which sadly has not been repeated. It’s usually every 1.5 to 2 hours. He almost always wakes up crying an hour after I put him down at bedtime, and needs a cuddle to go back to sleep. I feed him at every other wake up at the moment. Like MammaPyjama I’m trying to unlatch him when he’s still awake so he can fall asleep in my arms, I manage it some nights but not others. Occasionally he will fall asleep in his cot so he clearly knows how to self settle. But still waking about 5 times a night on average. Not sure what to try next, his sleep has improved slightly but not the results I was hoping for...

I wish I had started at 6 months!! Dd is a heavy lump now! 🤦‍♀️

I’m definitely apprehensive about starting but hoping if I can crack the first couple of wakes it will transcend to the others

Well, my first attempt at resettling rather than feeding back to sleep has lasted through all of five minutes of very mild crying. My resolve is moderate at best at bedtime, but once we're into nighttime I just want her back to sleep as fast as possible! The whole short term pain for long-term gain feels like a tall order when you're tired and there are no guarantees....

I know exactly how you feel! We did try last night but had a really really bad night - it’s a painful blur but at least 5 wakes. Thank god got a 3 hour stretch at one point so I think that’ll get me through the day.
I think dd is getting a cold or maybe teething as she wasn’t even settling when I fed her.

A few nights ago she slept for 6 hours straight which has never happened before so I’m hoping the last couple of nights are a blip due to illness.

Hope everyone else faired better than me!

We didn’t have a great night either, DS did his usual wake up at 8.30pm, and then was really unsettled for about 2 hours when we fed him at 10pm. Possibly because my husband tried to give him a bottle rather than his usual breastfeed. Then it was a further 3 wake ups before up at 7. Still not managing yo I put him down awake either.....

I would like to join you guys. My baby girl will be 6 months old next week and I think it is time for me to start teaching her how to sleep in her cot and self settle. So far she has been breast fed to sleep and she only sleeps in my arms or sling during the daytime. At night I breastfeed her to sleep and have to wait until she nods off (which takes up to 3hrs!!) to transfer her to her cot where she sleeps for up to 2.5 hours but she wakes 3-4 times through the night seeking for comfort. That has taken me to safely co sleep with her during the last 3 weeks. I'll follow my intuition and I'll mix some gentle tricks. I've started by putting her awake and tired in her new cot with a new baby projector and talked to her, smiled, sang...she seemed to be enjoying it for about 20 mins, then she started to cry and I tried to soothe her without picking her for about 10 mins, but then she started to cry.. so I gave up, I breast fed her to sleep. However, she fell asleep in about 20 mins and she is now sleeping in her cot!.. I believe I've started by creating a nice association to her new sleeping place.

Hi all, I decided on Boxing Day enough was enough and that I'd cut out bottles at night for my lb who is 14 months. Honestly, it wasn't too difficult to get up with him during the night because he'd literally drain his bottle and fall straight back to sleep but this was increasing every night, more and more milk and that resulted in him having a really poor appetite during the day which concerned me. I literally have just persevered with going in and lifting him, cuddles for a few mins then back down, sometimes he falls straight back to sleep, sometimes he will cry for a minute or 2 then settles, other times I have to keep repeating. First few nights I spent hours doing this (should say DH did his fair share too) but it's been getting better and better and last night he only woke up once, quick cuddle and back to sleep! So for us then gentle approach has worked! With my first child i used cc and it worked very well with him, he ended up crying v little and was sleeping well after 2 nights but I just felt it wouldn't have worked this time round. Good luck to all, it's not easy but definitely worth it for baby and you!

That’s good to know @lifesbetteraftertea. Well done! Those first few nights must’ve been tough? Is he sleeping long chunks of sleep now?

Hi @carled sounds like you’re off to a good start! I guess at least I have broken the feed to sleep association and dd can sometimes self settle but since I started this thread it’s all gone terribly! She does have a cold so hopefully it’s that. Today she had a 30 minute nap in the car and went to sleep at 6.30 for the evening but is now wide awake. Almost like the 6.30 sleep was a nap. I’m in the lounge with her now watching Netflix while she plays / trashes the lounge!

Sorry @lifesbetteraftertea just read your post again and saw he only woke once last night. That’s amazing. Where I’m struggling is like last night we just couldn’t get dd to settle - as in we’d be trying for I think 2 hours. She wasn’t crying just being held by us but always waking on being put in the cot. But hopefully that’s cos she’s poorly. I did get a stretch of 6 hours before this cold set in so I’ll cling to the hope it’ll get better again!

We had similar last night MrsIH - DS slept well during the day with some good naps and was down for the night at 6.30, I even managed to get him down before he was properly asleep. But he woke at 10.30 and was awake for ages. I kept him upstairs but he spent ages pushing up onto his hands and knees and rocking back and forth, and shuffling backwards down his cot. Maybe he’ll sleep once he learns how to crawl!

Hello, I have very similar at home, joining in hope I can learn how to help 7-month DS to sleep better...

Right now breastfeeding to sleep, putting him in his cot and exiting the room.
Some nights are good (3-4 hour stretches, fed back to sleep), some are awful, he stays awake, cries when put down, refuses to go back to sleep.
I’ve seen him self-soothe on the baby monitor, but it’s rare and usually on the first half of the night.
He wakes up at 5-5.30am at which point I take him to bed with me and side-feed him and we both get some more sleep.

Daytime naps are on me, latched, dream-feeding.

No idea how to even begin.

Huh that was meant to be the sad emoji, though I am a bit green after being awake 2.30-5.30am this morning...

Success!!! Dd has fallen asleep in cot! Had to pick her up about cuddle a couple of times but eventually she went to sleep - no crying - with me reciting songs!

I expect she’ll still wake a zillion times but it’s got to be a start right?!

Thank you for this, Hannah511

I know I have to break the feed to sleep/nap association but I don’t have it in me... yet

@Hannah511 Thanks for posting but for me that method is not so gentle in that I’m not leaving my baby to cry on her own and not pick her up. I’m just not convinced that it a not damaging and instinctively it feels wrong.

Well we’re currently in the midst of the first night of trying and she has been crying now for almost an hour. I tried settling her and now DH is trying but to be honest I don’t think I can stand it much longer. She sounds like she’s pleading I’m not sure how gentle this approach is.

@puds11 that sounds awful. Hope you are all ok. With dd I started by feeding her till she was v drowsy / basically asleep and unlatching. So no crying. I guess I substituted being rocked to sleep for being fed to sleep so not perfect though.

Anyway - good night here. She woke at 9, then 10 but both times I held, shushed, swayed a bit and she went back to sleep. Then she slept till 4am!!!! I fed her then and eventually got her back down with more holding and swaying and she woke up at 7am.

I remember months ago reading the no cry sleep solution book which had ideas about breaking the feed to sleep association which might help.

That’s amazing @MrsIH! Breaking the feed to sleep association is exactly what I’m trying to do. I’m hoping if I can break the first feed to sleep, the others may follow more naturally. She took almost 2 hrs to fall back to sleep but it did happen! I’ve said to DH we’ll do 4 days of it and if it’s not improving in length of time then stop. Fingers crossed tonight is better!

We started sleep training our 7 month old over the Christmas break. We have been co sleeping for 3 months with dc (ebf) feeding every two hours - co sleeping for survival more then choice! Have always fed to sleep for an easy life and naps - lucky to get one 15 min stint in a day.

We've moved dc into own cot and have been using a controlled crying method after exhausting other more gentle methods. Basically put in cot and if dc cries go in and cuddle and comfort every ten mins then put back down. The worst we had was 50 mins with a cuddle every 10, on the first day but since then dc is asleep within 20 mins every time. I do still feed to sleep mostly but dc always wakes with the motion of being put in the cot so is now learning to settle himself.

I was very against any sort of method where dc cries but he is now only waking once or twice a night for a feed and is napping 2-3 times a day. I feel like I was just surviving the last three months whereas now I'm getting solid sleep, so is dc and I can now string a sentence together.

Things that were invaluable for me were a blackout blind, white noise machine and starting the training with my partner as I was ready to crack after one minute of crying.

Good luck with the training