Anyone else trying to gently sleep train?

[MrsIH]

Dd2 is 13 months old and always been a crap sleeper. The longest stretch of sleep (up until very recently) I’ve had is 3 hours and that is on a good night. Generally I think she was waking 2 hourly but I’ve had nights of every 45 minutes. I have a dd1 who is 3 but who is thankfully a good sleeper.

I’m not at work atm luckily and I have no tolerance really for the crying methods. They’re just not for me so I’m not looking for suggestions or justifications of them.

What I’m trying is getting her to fall asleep in the cot and also trying to reduce feeds (she is breast fed) over night.

Anyway the falling asleep in the cot is going well. She did last night but some nights I’m still putting her down asleep as I pick her up and cuddle her if she cries. Frustratingly last night she woke up after 2 hours even though she’d fallen asleep in the cot. I think I got her back down ok but then she woke after another 2 hours. Then I was up for 2 hours trying to settle her. I gave in and fed her in the end although she still didn’t go back to sleep! DH managed to get her down in the end. So I’ve had about 5 hours broken sleep which isn’t great.

Basically looking for anyone else trying to do a similar thing and some moral support. I’m desperate to improve sleep as it’s so hard having her and her sister all day on my own on broken shit sleep!

And if she doesn't have 1.5 hours in the morning then she will sleep for bit longer in the afternoon. People keep telling me that she will soon just have the one long dinner time nap (between now and 18 months) but my lo currently wakes at 5:30am and by 9am she is more than ready for a nap. Think it will be a fair while yet before she will be able to last out until dinner time

Hey I have a 15m old bf little boy... very similar sleeping habits and looking to go back to work so sleep is a priority.

We moved his cot next to the bed. Took the side fully off to make a side-cart type cot (Did have to prop it to keep it secure as normal cot beds aren't made for this) and we've begun bed sharing without the loss of space. He's gone from waking every 2 hours to only once a night over the course of a week. It's like he's happy I'm there but doesn't wake when I move and is enjoying his space. When he wakes I try shushing first, stroking then if I can sense it's not happening I don't push it just pull him across put him on my breast then when he's done I unlatch and cover my breast with my duvet so they are blocked from him- when I do this he occasionally roots around trying to find them then gives up and happily rolls back over to sleep. I really enjoy the wake up too (which is around 7am now not 530!) Where he sits up and crawls over to smush my face.

I've honestly enjoyed this experience more than any other and find it a shame it's not the norm (my family support wanted me to wean and sleep train from 6m).

When he can walk (We are still crawling) I'll put him in his room with his sister. Shes 2.5 has a floor bed and no baby gate- she knows if she wants us she come. Which works well. She was in a cot in our room until she could walk too Where we moved her to a floor bed in our room then next door. I really struggled getting up to see to her in her cot and wish I had made the cot as an extension to our bed to save the upset and sleepless nights.

Hope this helps?

@HakunaMatataa that sounds great progress! Was the dream feed a breast feed? I’ve not tried this. I guess cos dd wakes anyway at traditional dream feed time!

My night was a bit rubbish but poor dd really not well with this cold so not surprising. But her initial stretch was 4 hours and in that time I heard her cry out twice but then she went straight back to sleep so that is good self settling progress!

@Colinthedog how was your night?

Thanks @Isadora2007 I obviously completely agree with you as I stated the thread so parents not wanting to use “crying” methods could support each other. Thanks for the link which I’ve started checking out.

Hi @Mumofwildlings. I think the cot next to the bed would be my next step if I can’t get current gentle sleep training to work. I’d prefer not to though as dh gets up at 5 and that was disturbing baby when she was in our room. Plus our room is so light (have shutters!) and that was a big problem for dd. So it’d be a last resort that I would worry would fail! But I can see how lovely it could be!

@HakunaMatataa Dream feed is an excellent idea. I used to do it when I brought him upstairs, back when he was sleeping on me. I haven’t done it lately as I’ve been wanting to see how long he goes before waking. Although he might wake just after I’ve fallen asleep, and sleep obviously the aim! Might reintroduce the dream feed if he’s still asleep when DH and I go to bed.

Last night wasn’t great, woke at 10 and took ages to settle after the bottle. Then woke at 1.30 absolutely soaking wet as nappy had leaked. We have a real problem with his nappy leaking despite trying different sizes and brands. So after a full outfit change he was wide awake for about 45 mins. Then he was wide awake again for another hour at 5. Luckily today is the day my DH drops DS1 at pre school and DS2 slept until 8, so not feeling too bad today.

Sorry your night was rubbish @MrsIH, but great news on the self settling! DS has been doing that too. A few weeks ago we would definitely have had to go in to him. So we are making progress!!

Oh man I hate that when a nappy leaks! Nightmare. Glad you got a bit of a lie in through.

Yes, definitely we are making progress. On a day by day basis it’s harder to see but if I think back to before Christmas she’d never done a 6 hour stretch before, was being rocked or fed to sleep at night and generally woke after an hour. So must remember this when we’ve had a bad night!

How old is your ds1 @Colinthedog? I’m finding having a just turned 3 yr old and a 1 yr old hard work!! Dd1 is in preschool 3 mornings a week but it’s only for 3 hours.

I think we are all having progress , just we all seem to have scattered nights when it's not as great but that's fine.
I'm sorry your LO is poorly :( @mrs I hope she is feeling better soon. Sorry your night wasnt great @Colinthedog.

Yes dreamfeed was a breastfeed. He didnt even wake up but drained both sides which is quite rare. So I think I'm going to continue to do that and once I've successfully managed to cut out the rest of the feeds slowly start cutting the dreamfeed down.

Thank you for the link @Isadora2007 I had a read earlier. That's what I'm trying to do but that gives it more structure so I've saved it on the homepage of my phone. The dreamfeed is before 11 so I'm happy to do that knowing he isn't hungry.

He struggled going down for his afternoon nap today and school run soon so I will have to cut it short. Dreading waking him up lol. He's not going to be impressed.

DS2 has been doing longer stretches too, and having longer naps since we started to focus on his sleep. So something has definitely changed. I really think gentle sleep training can work, well actually I know it can work as it worked with DS1! He didn’t sleep for more than 2 hours in a row at night until he was 8 months old, and was sleeping through most nights by the time he turned 1.

DS is 4, so that bit older than yours and therefore quite a lot easier. I feel for you, 3 is a really difficult age, especially as they all regress a bit and act up for your attention when their new sibling comes along. I’ve been taking full advantage of the 30 free hours while I’m on mat leave, so DS1 has at least some time in pre school each day. I felt a bit guilty at first but he loves it there, and they are short days so even on his longest days I have some time with him in the afternoons, and some mornings as well. Plus it’s given me lots of one on one time with DS2, and preserved my sanity through painful breastfeeding hell and sleepless nights!

Colinthedog: Aldi nappies are really good, my lo has never had a leak with them. You may have already tried them but if not I would give them a go

I use Asda little Angel's nappies have done with both boys and never had a leak. Guessing you may have already tried though. I've never liked Pampers and the like

Yes, gentle sleep training worked with my dd1 too just that I started earlier but also she naturally slept better I think. Also I could devote more time to it all as she was my only preoccupation!

Yes, it’s a tough age gap I think! But also dd2 is at that tricky age of v v short attention span, desperate to walk everywhere even though she can’t walk that well and she is into EVERYTHING! especially anything her big sister is into. I saw a woman at the cafe in the park today with a newborn and I’d guess a 3 yr old and a 2 yr old! Am in awe of her!

Dd1 loves preschool too so I’ll up get days soon! I don’t think we should feel guilty at all. This preschool only opens 3 hours a day unfortunately which I thought would be fine but am kicking myself now!!

@MrsIH You are doing brilliantly, I’m finding it hard with a 3 and a half year age gap and 30 hours of ore school every week! You have it much tougher than that.

@HakunaMatataa

@Claire543210

I think I’ve tried every nappy on the market 😬 I wonder if they are a bit loose, so tonight’s tactic is to pull it higher at the front and strap it on a bit more snugly. Wish me luck!!

Yes and if a little wriggler like mine they can soon become quite loose. Also I pull out around the bum a bit otherwise it ends in in-between her bum cheeks 😀

Thanks @colin! I thought it’d be easier as dd2 got older but I’m daydreaming of the days when I could bung dd2 in the sling and take dd1 out and then dd1 would have a 3 hour nap. God, I miss those naps!!!

Good luck with the new nappy strategy! 🤞

Anyway - something definitely up with dd2, whether her cold and also teething maybe. Two short naps again today and I had to put her down pretty much asleep just now as she was upset. Poor baby. Oh well, 2 steps forward and all that!

Morning everyone.
How was everyones nights last night?
@mrsIH I hope little one isnt too poorly.
@collinthedog how did the nappy last?

We had a successful night. So I'm following the link about night weaning, i was pretty much doing that anyway but now it's more structured. He woke around 9.30 so i gave him his feed then. He slept until 4am and he was wake until 5.30 I didnt feed though and eventually he went back off and is still asleep now.

@HakunaMatataa That’s a great sleep! Shame about the early morning wake up though. Why do they want to play at that time?

Well the good news is that the nappy didn’t leak. The bad news is that the rest of the night was terrible. I sensed it wouldn’t go well when he needed settling within half an hour of bedtime. We decided to try the dream feed at 10 - this seemed to go well as it was very calm, no tears and he drank the whole bottle. He did wake up and needed resettling, but we were feeling positive.

But he woke up screaming at 12. And then every hour until 5. And I was so tired that I just fed him each time, didn’t even try to settle him without. And there’s no way he was hungry, particularly at the first wake.

I have no idea. I'm quite proud I didnt just feed him.
I'm sorry the night wasnt great. Just a suggestion @colinthedog after the dream feed did you manage to get any wind up?

My LO is really hard to wind after dreamfeed. Last night he was unsettled and wriggling alot after his feed. I tried winding him again and a huge burp came out and he was much more peaceful.

Morning all!

My one was sick last night so I thought we were in for a set back night but actually think he was so exhausted I managed to settle him most of the tine with a back stroke and he only had one middle of the night feed at 2am. It might have been our best night in about 6 months! Just not sure it really counts as I'm sure it only happened because he was fighting off a tummy bug!

Sort of hoping we can continue the back stroke comfort thing. He still is happy if I'm sitting in the room but I haven't been able to get any further away from him.

Sounds rough @Colinthedog poor you! When DS was little I used to get the best wind out of him by just holding up against me and squeezing him in a little bear hug. He liked the cuddle so he'd sleep and I'd pretty much squeeze the burp out of him. Might help dredge up some wind like suggested?

That’s great @HakunaMatataa! I’m v impressed you didn’t feed at 4 and persisted in getting him back down.

Sorry about your night @Colin. That sounds brutal.

My night started badly with lots of resettling. Fed her at maybe 10 ish but she barely had anything and then needed resettling shortly after. But then she did a 3 hour stretch, then I fed her and she did another 3 hour stretch,

Sadly dd1 (who we’ve just moved to a bed!) woke up in that 3 hour stretch!

Realise writing all this down that I’m basically doing different things ever night!!! Obvs as I’m exhausted. But I think I need to try harder if poss. I’ll try following that link too and feeding around 10 ish and then not again.

Dd still v snotty and I can see a tooth about to break through so these things are not helping. I’ll wait for the cold to pass bad tooth to appear before I try really hard with the link though!

Dd2 so grumpy today poor thing and I have both kids all day and it’s crap weather here. Pray for me!!!

@HakunaMatataa I admire your willpower, especially at that time of the morning!

DH said he got a little burp out of DS, but that could be a factor. I might try without the bottle tonight and see if it helps. I’m also wondering about teeth. He was uncharacteristically grumpy yesterday evening and wanted to comfort feed during the day, which is unusual. He also had his fingers in his mouth all day.

@MrsIH Sounds like a tough day ahead, hope it’s not too bad and you find time for some hot coffee!!

I feel like I’m doing something different every night too, I remember that being an issue with DS1 too and causing several arguments between DH and I in the early hours of the morning! It’s just so hard to know what to do as they are so unpredictable.