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The non-sleepers are still not sleeping

999 replies

NinaMarieP · 27/03/2018 08:59

New thread, guys!

OP posts:
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tealandteal · 15/06/2018 20:51

Sorry to hear you are all still here and some babies are poorly. I hope they are feeling better soon. We have moved from hourly wake up to every 2 hours or occasionally 3 but that still an improvement. We still have the spare bed in nursery and I end up in there at some point in the night but DS goes in his cot.

WhoAteAllthePercyPigs · 16/06/2018 08:21

A truly shit night. Half hourly wakings. Then DD woke at 3am demanding calpol and took ages to resettle. DS awake for day at 5 but now super cranky and refusing a nap. My children have officially broken me. I give up.

NinaMarieP · 16/06/2018 21:46

We've got a slight cold plus explosive diarrhoea here... I'm supposed to be at a hen party but I didn't want to go out in case he had more diarrhoea and got dehydrated.

I've survived my first week back at work at least. It's weird but I don't miss him while I'm at work (too busy enjoying the peace!) but I got teary when I got home and felt it then. Definitely appreciate him more and have more patience having been away from him for the longest time since he was born, so I hope that lasts.

OP posts:
Bartos · 16/06/2018 23:50

@MummyCuddlesSolveEverything so sorry for you! It's so hard! Hope tonight it's a bit better!
@MummyCuddlesSolveEverything and @NinaMarieP thanks for sharing your experience! Gives me hope that my return wont be as bad as I'm imagining. I'm already being sent stuff to read for a challenge I've put myself professionaly and I managed to read so little... I'm always getting interrupted. But I guess once she is in nursery I can actually focus in what I'm doing.
In here she slept 2h after going down (small victory dance) but hasn't settled since then... Gave her calpol and gripe water. Left her to self sooth in cot. Seems to have gone quiet now, I'm hoping (praying!) she settles for a bit so that I can sleep. Please!
Good luck for all you wonder women out there! Flowers

Meepmoop · 17/06/2018 01:39

DS won't stay asleep, I get him in his cot and he wakes up extremely angry 15minutes later. No idea what's wrong.

Hope your nights going better @WhoAteAllthePercyPigs and you've got some sleep @Bartos

Meepmoop · 17/06/2018 01:46

Anyone want a black cat? She's just barged her way into the nursery and started scratching loudly at his wardrobe doors! Why!!!

ShadowKitty · 17/06/2018 02:01

Well I am usually up all night feeding the baby but tonight's got a new twist! DH messed with the water earlier trying to fix a dripping tap. I heard the shower making weird noises and when DH turned it on just now, smoke started pouring out of the shower unit!

He's switched the power to the unit off but i am scared to sleep! Baby awake now anyway... hope everyone else's sleepless night is more relaxed.

Mummyme87 · 17/06/2018 04:12

New here!
Have a DS1 (almost 4) who took 11months of waking every 45mins until he reduced to sleeping through, and DS2 5months who is breastfed and does not know how to self soothe, uses me as a dummy and wants to be permanently attached to me all night. So it’s gone4am, I’ve had two failed transfers to his bed after sitting up with him to settle. He’s been waking every 15/20mins since 11.15pm to be reattached to me. I’m broken

Meepmoop · 17/06/2018 12:30

How scary @ShadowKitty, hope you've managed to sort it so it's safe so you can relax tonight.
Sorry you're having a rough night @Mummyme87 hope you managed to get some sleep in. It's so hard when they keep waking up so often.

I managed to get DS to sleep last night, woke up again at 5.30 then slept until 8am. However he's only had a 30minute nap this morning

Mummyme87 · 17/06/2018 12:37

Couldn’t get him down at all so I’ve been up since 3am... dozed for 30mins on the sofa

Bartos · 17/06/2018 18:45

@Meepmoop and @Mummyme87 sorry for your bad night! Honestly hoping tonight is better!! Flowers
Not bragging, but mine was actually better compared to the total nightmare that are nights usually.she took a good while to settle after the 21h30 feed (trapped burp), but after that she woke up only 3 times I think! And at 5h I usually have to give up and sit in the nursing chair holding her, and last night although she was awake when I've placed her back in the cot she actually didn't care and slept until 6h30! For me this is a very good night! Doubt that I'll have another one like this soon. Its always like this. She gives me hope only to be a bigger disappointed when everything goes back to "normal".
Another good aspect, if I want to be positive. I've been cutting her morning nap and it seems to be increasing her lunch nap, so she is not so cranky in the afternoon. Coincidence? Maybe soon it will stop working... Before her naps weren't longer than 1hr. It has happened to sleep 2h at lunch and 1h30 since I've started shortening the morning one. Small victory dance!
Today she is taking a while to fall asleep by herself... I know it's early but she is usually so tired from crappy nights and short naps that we have to do an early bedtime. But since she isn't has overtired maybe I will try tomorrow to get her to sleep next to 7pm.

Meepmoop · 17/06/2018 21:08

@Bartos glad you've had a good night and hope it continues! I've been wondering about a nap shake up to. I think I'm the opposite as he has a good morning nap and then doesn't want to nap until much later in the afternoon so I might cut that nap right down to 20mins

Meepmoop · 17/06/2018 21:42

DS doesn't want to stay asleep again. I really need him to self settle but at a loss on how to get him to do it. Not looking forward to tonight.

Bartos · 18/06/2018 08:08

@Meepmoop there's no 2 good nights in a row in this house. It was crap. How was yours?
Regarding cutting the nap, I've done 1h,50 min, 45 min. Each day. I wouldn't advise cutting the nap so short to 20 min suddenly. He will be so overtired you might get the opposite effect from what you want. The book I am following advises 10 min cut each day. Then when nap is just bellow an hour I think it advises a 30 min nap everyday the second week. Apparently only 3rd weeks the second nap was naturally increased to more than 1 hour and got to 2 hours. I am seeing a good nap effect at lunch with 45 min in the morning . Today I was ready to go to 40 min nap in the morning but night was so bad and she is so tired, it may not be a good idea... Not sure what to do really.
Regarding self soothing. I've done controlled crying method. Horrible for first 2 weeks. But totally worths it. Just don't do it wrong like me, overnight I was going to her right away either way. I should have kept the method overnight (hadn't realises and I'm paying the price heavily).
I'm reading Gina Forbes book about getting baby to sleep. It was driving me crazy to just read it, because I was so lost. But then cutting the morning nap sounded like it might be a good idea in our case and fingers crossed seems to be working. I'm adapting to what I think it's best for my baby.

Meepmoop · 18/06/2018 08:30

Well after struggling to get him to stay asleep he did 5.5hours so I'm happy. Sorry you're night wasn't as good last night @Bartos.
That's really helpful thank you. He rarely does an hour in the afternoon so maybe I'll try 40mins and then 30mins. I've just noticed on some of afternoons he's had rubbish naps he goes to bed better but it might be coincidence. He wakes up more in the first instance so maybe it is being over tired.

I'm not opposed to controlled crying just not sure how to do it correctly. Did you follow a book? He stands up when he wakes up as well so not sure if that will hinder it.

I knew that sleep would be an issue from what people tell you when you're pregnant but I never realised how involved and complicated it is

Bartos · 18/06/2018 08:57

@Meepmoop 5h that's really good!! My baby is 9.5m and never EVER she slept 5h :(
But I totally see how stressful it is to get him to sleep. It drives me mad! :)
I've read a lot about the subject. Unfortunately I'm still in the thread... I would say a good place to seek information is the www.babysleep.com a site from the paediatric sleep council. I would advise to read about it in there. I used to get a lot of reading when feeding or holding baby to sleep.
Also, yes, Gina Forbes book "THE COMPLETE SLEEP GUIDE FOR CONTENTED BABIES AND TODDLERS", I've got it from the library. I think it's a good book. I was struggling to get the time to go through it though. But I've noticed some things I could definitely improve. You can have a read and see what catcher your eye to actually have a good read. For me, I have her contented baby book as well, from that one I realised I wasn't feeding DD properly. I wasn't giving enough protein or enough cereal I think. Please do have a read if you can because I don't want to give wrong information. But now what I do is some sort of cereal at breakfast (oats for example, or bread), vegetable and fruit in the 3 meals, at lunch protein (fish, meat, pulses, or egg), feeds in between (midmorning, after lunch nap, and evening before bed). In our case a bunch of times overnight although it shouldn't. From that I know she is not hungry overnight. I think she has 2 feeds she genuinely feeds, the rest she just wants breast.
It's important that you know your baby isn't actually crying because of hunger, or a burp. It's very hard to hear baby cry, we are not naturally prepared to ignore the crying.
Then, you should never start sleep training when other important changes are happening. Choose a time when you actually think you can go through with it. Once you start, stick with it. Otherwise it will be worse. Consistency is the most important, really!
What I did. Have a bedtime routine. I do bath at 18h, then feed at 18h30, then read a story with light dimmed, then lights off, white noise on, getting baby in sleeping bag, place in cot, pat her head, kiss in the for head "sleep well", kiss, get out, close the door. Then wait 2 min before going back to comfort baby (assuming he didn't fall asleep right away), get in pat/kiss/sleep well/kiss, get out, close door. Then wait 4min. Then go in, same response, always, then wait 6 min. Basically you increase time intervals in 2 min every time. You get out even if baby is still crying, you shouldn't stay with baby more than 2/3min maximum. Do not pick up baby.
Now, I usually pick mine one or 2 because she struggles to burp and a lot of times she is crying from discomfort. But if you pick baby up don't stay long holding baby, place in cot, same response, get out.
When I did this first night she cried 1h, second night is usually worse, she cried 1h20 min (it seems an eternity).
I saw improvement in second week.
Now,the thing I didn't do. You should give same response overnight. What I agreed with my HV because my DD wakes up so much is to give feed at 10lm and at 2am,out of those hours to do controlled crying method. She advised me overnight to wait 10 min before going in because baby might self sooth if given the opportunity. I've actually done this and it's true. Sometimes she does go down by herself. Actually if I get in I'll disturb her more.
But I'll do this seriously when back from holidays.
I think these are the highlights. Choose whatever response works for you. But keep is consistent so that baby know you are him getting out. They realise this part very quickly. So often we you give the patting and kissing babies cries more. What they need to learn is that you are always available even if they don't see you. That takes longer. But babies are different! Maybe yours will realise sooner.

Bartos · 18/06/2018 09:00

@Meepmoop falling asleep quickly and waking up soon after it's a sign of overtiredness yes. I think cutting is first nap might increase is second one, reduce evening overtiredness and have a better night. Although apparently it can take couple weeks to see the effect.
Also, standing... Mine doesn't t do it yet, but the book and the site do have advise on that.
Hope this very long post helps :)

Meepmoop · 18/06/2018 09:29

@Bartos thank you so much that's really really helpful!! DS is very snotty at the moment but when he's better I think I'm going to do it, I really think it'll help him.

I have found the last couple of weeks (he's 11months this week) he's started to sleep longer some nights without me doing much so hopefully you'll get that to

Meepmoop · 18/06/2018 09:56

Apparently we're not having a morning nap...

Bartos · 18/06/2018 18:41

@Meepmoop did he nap eventually? I hope you are right! Would absolutely love to look at the time one day and realise I slept 5h!!
Lunch nap want too good in here. In the morning nap woke up naturally, slept maximum 40 min. Then I thought lunch nap would be very good! Nop, poopping time apparently. Slept nearly 1 hour then woke up crying. Cried less than 10 min. Self settled, then slept another maximum 15 min. Then more cry and gave up on nap. She had pop so I guess she was uncomfortable. This has been happening... She had lunch at 11am and then went to bed around 12h15. I'm thinking trying to move her lunch closer to her nap, to see if she only poops after having a close to 2h nap. Or should I feed her lunch earlier? Hum...

Meepmoop · 18/06/2018 19:59

@Bartos I forced him to nap in the end as we had class at 12 so I drove around for an hour at 11 so he had an hour. Didn't want his afternoon nap either so had about 10 mins.

I've just had an hour battle to get him asleep. There's Something about Monday's as he does this a lot. He also hasn't eaten a lot today either just threw it on the floor.

Sorry you've had rubbish naps to.
DS has his lunch around 12 but his morning nap finishes around 10.30/11. He's not very scheduled with his poop though.

Bartos · 18/06/2018 20:50

@Meepmoop you said he is kind of sick isn't it? Maybe it's keeping him awake and uncomfortable. When we have a cold our appetite it's also affected. His naps are really all over the place! Poor you! Maybe he is transitioning to one nap only? I'm not really sure when babies do that... Is he grumpy during the day from lack of sleep? Mine fell asleep super quick, woke up after one hour, wouldn't settle after 10 min crying, fed her a " full boob". She ate very well today I think. And a lot at supper and breastfeed before bed one breast. I wish she would do a full feed instead of waking up one hour after to finish... I don't know if she wakes up at 8pm out of habit... I might try a technique I read about removing baby from deep sleep 30 min before the usual wake up time. It's suppose to make them restart a sleep cycle and baby won't wake up at usual time, if its just an habit wake up. I've tried this once, months ago I think also because of 8pm feed. There was a couple of times that worked but maybe it was just a coincidence.
I've ordered blackout curtains to stick to the window, since her roman blinds don't block all the light. With this bright days there's a lot of light in the room. Hoping a dark room will help. One can only hope really.
Goodnight everyone!

Meepmoop · 18/06/2018 21:29

@bartos Yeah just a runny nose and a bit of a cough. Sounds odd but I hope you're right and it's the cold that's affected his appetite as he has been doing well eating 3 meals. I'm hoping to stop breastfeeding at a year so want
him to be eating properly.

He doesn't seem tired at all really in the afternoon, some times I think he only falls asleep as I feed him. Maybe he is dropping a nap it seems really young though?

DS sometimes does that to goes to sleep and then wakes up an hour later to have another big feed. Didn't think of it as him not having a full feed the first time. I thought he was just waking up for funsies and it's the only way I can get him back to sleep. Please let me know how you get on if you do try it. I've never really done a dream feed, I always assumed it was more of a bottle thing.

I've got a blackout blinds and curtains in DS's room, I have found it much better for naps so hopefully the curtains will make a difference for you.

Looks like we're on wake up number 1

Meepmoop · 18/06/2018 21:41

False alarm, I have moved into the spare bedroom though as DH is snoring so loud I may just hurt him

FrozenMargarita17 · 19/06/2018 21:43

Has anyone got a non sleeper who is in nursery?

I'm going back to work and my sil can't have my dd anymore so she has to go to nursery. I went to visit yesterday and i really have no idea how she will get any daytime sleep at all. Which means my nights will be terrible.

I've been in tears for 2 days with mum guilt, worry and stress.

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